You sleep harder that night than you have in a long, long time. When you wake up you could swear you've slept for months and months. Your head is a blur to the point where it takes you a few seconds to recognize your own room. For a moment you're expecting Dave and Karkat to still be there, and your tiny empty bed is a massive letdown when you realize they're not.

The house seems too quiet now, even with the newly ectobiologized birds singing outside. After getting dressed, you trudge down the stairs and pour yourself a big bowl of cereal, hoping you'll wake up properly soon. It's a slow morning, and by the time you're done eating your cereal is complete mush. Maybe you ought to suggest trying to make coffee plants so your options aren't drink sludge or be sleepy all morning.

Or maybe you should just get a straight drip of caffeine.

You're so slow this morning that you don't realize until you're washing your bowl that you have no idea what you're supposed to be doing at this point. There's no exploring to be done today and you hate being stuck at home. Do you talk to them? Do you go get advice? If so, from whom? What would result in the least teasing? God, you think to yourself, you're such a virgin. If only there was a single household in this new inbred world that wasn't up to the chimney in snark!

But before you freak out about it, there's a knock on the door and thank fucking god. You try really hard not to rush to answer just in case some people are still under the misguided impression that you're not a total dork. They're probably not, but who knows? And you're kind of glad you tried to act smooth because it's Dave and Karkat.

For a moment you freak out, and then you remember that your hair is always a mess anyway and pajamas have been a legitimate fashion choice for years.

"Hey," you say.

"Hey," Dave replies.

You stare at each other for a moment, but it's kinda hard because your eyes keep going between Dave and Karkat.

"Oh my fucking Condense! Will you two stop with your weird human awkward staring?" Of course, it would probably have been more forceful if he wasn't blushing so hard.

You jump a little bit. "Oh! Wanna come in?"

"Yeah, sure," Dave replies.

"Stop pretending to be cool, Strider. You practically begged me to come over!"

"Lies and slander. You were making the abused kitten face. I was expecting Sarah McLachlan to suddenly appear and tell me to donate every last boondollar to the ASPCA."

Karkat gives him a very strange look, "You guys had an Alternian Society for Perpetual Causation of Agony?"

You laugh. "That's probably closer to PETA."

Dave cracks a smile at that.

"Praetorian Elite Threshecutioner Association?"

"Karkat, one of these days we need you to write down every single acronym you know for purposes of humorous interspecies shenanigans. But for now, come on, John, we ain't getting any younger."

"Well you're not getting any older either," you point out, stepping aside to let your two best bros into your house.

"So, uh… do you want something to drink, or…?"

"I've learned, John." Dave pulls out a couple of bottles of apple juice and throws himself on your couch.

"Come on, I haven't teased you about that kind of thing for years!"

"Yeah, well."

He tosses a bottle to Karkat, who sits down stiffly in one of your chairs and teases the edge of his sleeve. When you look over at Dave you notice him playing with his juice cap. Just a little bit, almost unnoticeable. You're actually kinda proud you caught it.

"So how's stuff?" You ask, sitting down in the single free seat.

"Pretty good," Dave says, "But we'd thought we'd show up because we don't have real phones but you gotta call the next day."

"Pfft, if you're a total loser," Karkat says.

"Remind me, how many more partners have I had than you?"

Karkat rolls his eyes, "Whatever."

"I donno," you say, "I'm pretty sure you both have some pretty good points."

They both turn towards you and glare a little bit, but you don't find you mind. Actually, you can't help but laugh and you wonder why you'd even been worried.

"So is it too early to ask for a second date?" you ask.

"Well after that comment…" Karkat says.

"Come on, crabcatch, we don't have anything planned for today."

"Not even ectobiology?"

"Nah, we're taking the day off same as you. I mean, even if we weren't we've already hella jumpstarted the system. It might be fun to see what kind of weird shit evolves if we start like this."

"You know, I never thought of that," You say.

"So how about a movie?" Dave asks. "I know you two gotta go for that shit."

"Sure," Karkat replies, "then we just need to have a fight to the death over whether it's going to be a stupid action movie, one of the most horrendous horror movies of all time, or an Alternian cinematic masterpiece showing the true meaning of pity - which is by far the most appropriate for this fucking situation."

"Action movies are about love too! They're just not so mushy about it!"

"And I love ironically amazing movies, but I have something else in mind."

"You do?"

"Well, bro always said there's one true test for love…"

"Oh fuck no. Not this again."

"Shoosh, you love it. Anyway, Lord of the Rings, extended edition." He uncaptchalogues a massive stack of DVD boxes right onto your coffee table.

"Oh my God, Dave, you are such a nerd!" you laugh.

"Yeah, well." He grabs the first box and rifles through it for a single disk. "Shit's important."

He places it in the player and sits back on the couch, dragging you with him. Karkat follows shortly after, sitting on your other side. He pulls out some popcorn as well and sets it right in your lap so everyone can reach. Maybe, you think, this dating thing won't be as stressful as you thought it would be.