Life

"The Overlander got home okay. After bonding to Ares. Though you know that." Vikus chuckled slightly, that one that he used when he knew something everyone else didn't. "He will be back though. Of course."

Luxa only stared blankly back at her grandfather, who smiled at her slightly. She gave him nothing in return. Solovet, who was also at the table, sighed slightly.

"You look horrible, sweetheart," she said in that overly motherly tone that Luxa had long ago learn was completely false. "Perhaps you should go back to bed."

She had been asleep for days. The only time anyone ever saw her was when she left her room to eat. And that was only to go ask one of her guards to bring her something. She was not doing well. At all.

"Perhaps it would be best if you went and saw Nerissa today," Vikus tried then. "You could both heal together."

Luxa tried to ignore him. She really did. If anyone was good at ignoring Vikus, it was her. She had to do so constantly. He had to be the most annoying, infuriating thing ever in existence. He constantly wanted to talk. About feelings, about water currents, food, crop rotations. Anything and everything. That's all he cared about. Talking. About the most nonsensical of things. In what way did crop rotations or water currents matter to Luxa? Much less feelings? They were all useless.

"She lost more than you, after all, dear. And you haven't even spoke to-"

Luxa tossed her plate over then, as if she were a child, aiming it in Vikus' direction. He jumped in his seat as his face was splattered with some sort of sauce. Solovet, who was next to him only sighed as Luxa left the room.

"Good job, Vikus. We finally got her to leave her room and you messed it up. Now I'm going to have to…talk to her again." Solovet practically shivered at the word. "It was bad enough when Judith died. Talking to her about this boy is even worse. He was a traitor, after all. I'd have killed him myself, had I been around. Tossed him off that cliff-"

"Solovet," Vikus sighed as he wiped at his face with a napkin. One of the servants had rushed over to clean up the mess Luxa made. She was spoiled, after all. "Not now."

Luxa wasn't that far down the hall then and heard enough of their conversation to feel anger bubble up inside her once more. Usually she would go find Henry to rant about how horrible her grandparents were. He had the same sentiment about them, after all. But now…Henry wasn't…

She wasn't able to cry anymore. It had been days, after all, of nonstop self-pity. Eventually even Aurora left her alone to find her way out of her sorrow alone. And she had…mostly. She just needed to…to…

Well, in that moment to find her bond and get out of the palace. That was the most important thing at the moment. Away from foolish Vikus and his evil wife. That's what she needed to do, above all else.

As she was headed to the High Halls in hopes that Aurora would be there, she happened to pass the prophecy room.

It wasn't so strange to see a light coming from it. It also wasn't strange to hear Nerissa in there, giggling to herself over something or other.

It was, however, strange for her to be so happy over a bunch of stupid words inscribed in stone after the death of her last direct family member. Especially considering the fact that Luxa hadn't even allowed herself to smile since it happened.

It was a split decision to go into the room, but Nerissa did not seem surprised to find her there. She only grinned at her, waving her to her side. Luxa only stood there in the doorway, trying to place what prophecy her cousin had the lamp ghosting over without really checking. What could she find so funny?

"What are you doing in here, Nerissa?" Luxa asked slowly as she walked over to her. "What are you doing?"

"I am reading, Luxa, of course."

"Of course," she repeated slowly as she moved to sit next to her cousin. She had not seen her since coming back and was shocked to find her in such high spirits. Looking at the wall she was sitting in front of, Luxa frowned when she saw what prophecy she was reviewing.

"The Prophecy of Bane?" she asked slowly. "Why would you be-"

"I am only thinking of what glorious fight the Overlander will have to overcome next," Nerissa said, giggling again at the thought. "He and his sister. They are quite the-"

"Nerissa, why do you care about the Overlander?"

"Why do you not care about him?" She turned to look at Luxa then, her overjoyed face a dire contrast to Luxa's gloomy one. Reaching out, Nerissa caught both of Luxa's cheeks in her hands, still grinning. "He is our savior, Luxa. Without him, Gorger and Henry would have-"

Luxa jerked out of her cousin's hold, almost falling onto her back in her struggle to get away. "Why would you say-"

"It is the truth, is it not?" Nerissa only stared at her for another second before turning to look back at the wall. "Have you freshened up on the Prophecy of Bane? You are not included in it, but I am certain that you shall invite yourself on the quest. Not one to let an Overlander show you up, yes? And he would like for you to go, I am sure. You two are…well, not friends, but you are acquaintances, yes? For now at lea-"

"Henry was not…Nerissa, you cannot honestly…"

"Henry betrayed us. Gregor saved us." Nerissa was tracing her finger across the prophecy again. "Of course, the Prophecy of Bane does not sound nearly as much fun as the Prophecy of Blood. That might be my favorite the warrior has to accomplish. Considering the only other is the Prophecy of Time, however…no, I do not think I shall like that one much. But duty is duty, and Gregor is-"

"Would you stop talking about the Overlander?" Luxa ground out, glaring at her cousin. "Please?"

Nerissa only shook her head slightly. "It is even more fun, Luxa, when you think of what will happen after the warrior. What new set of prophecies shall-"

"Did you or did you not care about Henry at all?"

That mad the teen pause before turning to look down at her cousin, who still just glowering at her, as if she had done something wrong. Nerissa was not sure what that thing was though.

"Of course I cared about Henry," she said slowly, her smile fading. "Why would you-"

"Then how could you sit here and thank the heavens for the Overlander? If he had fallen, if Ares had saved Henry, we would-"

"We would all be dead. Perhaps not I, not yet, but certainly you." Nerissa only shook her head slightly. "Honestly, Luxa, to think that Ares made the wrong decision-"

"I did not say that But if Gregor-"

"Gregor is the warrior, Luxa. He is the only thing at the moment that is keeping that crown on your head." Nerissa paused, pulling the blanket over her shoulders tighter around herself. "And Solovet, I suppose, would tell you that she is helping with that as well, but I am not here to argue that point at this moment. Or ever. She is rather-"

"Nerissa."

"My point was that Gregor saved us al. He and Ares. And they are not done yet." She looked back at the wall in front of them before whispering, "Evil cloaked in coat of white, Will the warrior drain your light?"

Luxa blinked. Then, slowly, she shook her head. "Is that all you care about, Nerissa? The prophecies? Henry is-"

"Dead, Luxa. Henry is dead. And he is not coming back. Death is rather final in that way."

"Nerissa-"

"That does not mean that I am not sad. That I do not feel sorrow. I am rather sorrowful over what has occurred. But I cannot stop living, can I?"

"It is not like your life is so interesting. You could have at least stayed away from the prophecies for-"

"Why, Luxa? Why must I morn? Had I died, would Henry have mourned me? And he was trying to kill you. He would not have mourned your death, would he have?"

"I…I do not…"

"Our Henry died without us knowing," she told her younger cousin then in that soft, nurturing tone that others usually used with her. Nerissa had never been nurturing towards Luxa. Caring, yes. She cared about her, but she wasn't motherly to her. She wasn't able to be. Luxa always saw herself as above her cousin, even though nearly seven years separated them in age. "Who knows when? Not us. He has been dead for months, I am sure. And you would think we would notice, the two of us, but I suppose the monster that consumed him was far better at masquerading than we thought."

Luxa didn't know what to say. She shifted slightly, to rest her back against the wall, making sure that she couldn't see the stupid Prophecy of Bane. The last thing she wanted to think about was the Overlander.

"If he's our savior," Luxa finally got out, "then why do I feel worse than I did before he showed up?"

Nerissa smiled at her, as if she were being naïve or childish. "Sometimes, Luxa, saving you doesn't mean making you happy. It just means keeping you alive for another day. And that is all that matters. Living."

"I would rather be dead," she told her then softly. "I would rather be dead than live any longer. Who is left to live for? Aurora? Ares? They have each other. You? You have your damn prophecies…and the stupid Overlander, apparently. I have no one."

"You have your kingdom," Nerissa told her then, not missing a beat. She was moving the lamp them, off to the Prophecy of Blood. Her favorite, apparently. Ugh. How could she even read it without a mirror? She must have memorized it. The thought gave Luxa a headache. "If you ever feel as you do now, just remember that. You have to live, Luxa. You have no other option. If you die now, I cannot abdicate. Who would lead after me?"

Luxa sat there for a moment before saying slowly. "Vikus and Solovet. They are everyone's favorite. Everyone without a brain. And then York and Susannah. And then…and then…"

"Do you wish for them to have your kingdom? Your realm?"

"Of course not, Nerissa, but-"

"Then live to spite them. Live to save what is yours. Just live. Life isn't about living death, Luxa. It's just about finding something to live for. And if Henry is what you were living for, fine. He is gone. There is no arguing that. But you have to be able to find something else to live for."

Nerissa was facing the other wall then, already running her fingers over the lines in the Prophecy of Blood. Luxa hoped that one was far, far away. The Prophecy of Bane too. The last person she wanted to deal with was the Overlander. His smug, stupid little attitude about everything.

"I live for the prophecies," Nerissa was telling her then. "I love them. More than I love anything else. Even you, Luxa."

She blinked. "Thank you, Nerissa, for sharing that with me."

She only nodded before saying, "In the cradle, fine the cure, For which makes the blood impure."

"Nerissa, if you quote one more line to me, I will-"

"How can you not just love every word Sandwich ever wrote? He was a poet, a master of the written word, a-"

"The Overlander and Sandwich then?"

"Oh, the Overlander is great too," Nerissa assured her. "Though you would know more of that than I. After all, you got to see him in action."

Luxa paused, closing her eyes. Then, after she got over that sick feeling in her stomach when she thought of that day, she said, "He ran. He got lucky. He did not fight. He-"

"Luck does not exist, Luxa. Only fate. I-"

"Quote me the Prophecy of Time and I will leave."

Nerissa only sighed slightly. "What have you decided on then, Luxa? What do you live for? Aurora? Your kingdom? To spite Stellovet? What?"

Luxa just leaned back against the wall for a minute or two, thinking. What did she live for? Before, she awoke every morning with excitement over what new trick she and Aurora would master and what funny story Henry would tell her, where he and their bonds would go. Now she awoke to dread and resentment and hatred and pure, unadulterated bitterness, towards not only herself, but also everyone around her. She longed for it to just be over, all of it. To stop feeling that way. And if the only way for that to happen was death, so be it.

…But Nerissa made it out as if it were so easy. And maybe it was for her. She had no responsibilities, no one to care about, but herself. She was alone in the world. Completely alone…but she was happy that way. Maybe not as happy as she was when her parents were alive, but she had slowly found a new happy. A new joy. A new view of the world.

So why couldn't Luxa?

When she lost her parents, her life turned purely into whatever Henry wanted it. She hated Solovet because Henry hated Solovet. She refused to stay in the nursery because Henry had outgrown the nursery. She didn't follow Vikus' advice because Henry thought he was a crazy old bat. She detested of the Overlander because Henry thought he was a waste of time.

…Henry was gone though. He was really gone. And it had taken all that time for her to realize it. She couldn't wish him alive. She couldn't mope around until he showed up again. Henry had turned his back on the kingdom, on his bond, on his sister, and most importantly on her. He was ready to watch her die, just to get his own power. Just because she had something he never would.

He was jealous of her. And his greed was going to let him take that thing from her, even if it meant causing her death. Maybe Luxa never loved Henry, just who she thought he was. Because in those few moments, sitting there with Nerissa, she was slowly learning that he wasn't all she had thought before. He was a horrible, wicked, traitor. And she hated him for that.

…Yet she still loved him all the same.

"Me," she whispered randomly, sitting there on the cold stone of the room, staring at the darkened wall across from her.

"Hmmm?" Nerissa was still going over the Prophecy of Blood, though Luxa knew her cousin could quote it backwards and forwards. She had read it and all the others over a thousand times. They were her real family.

After all, she did care about them more than Luxa, apparently.

"Me," Luxa said louder then. "I…I tried living for someone else. It does not work. That person…Henry…he wasn't who I thought he was. No one is ever who you think they are…are they?"

"Of course not, Luxa." Nerissa glanced over at her. "You never really know someone. Perception. Do you know what that is? You only perceive facts about them based off what they have shown you. I could secretly be the strongest, bravest person in the world."

"Right. But you are not."

"Well, of course not. But I am only making an example."

Luxa understood her though. Somewhat. She figured that most the things that came out of Nerissa's mouth even she herself did not understand.

"It's very honorable, Luxa," Nerissa told her then. "Living for yourself. And most fulfilling."

"Yes," she said slowly. "Yes, it is."

"Life is eternal. You are immortal. Until it is not. Until you die. Then you are nothing. Then your light is gone and there is only darkness left for you. So make good of it, cousin." Then, through a giggle, Nerissa added, "Look where you leap."

Making a face, Luxa got to her feet. "I warned you. I said-"

"That was not the Prophecy of Time. I-"

"I have to go anyways." Then she sighed as she made it to the door. "I will leave you to your thoughts of the Overlander."

Nerissa only made a slight noise. "He is quite cute."

"N-Nerissa-"

She did not have to turn to see her cousin's blush. After all, Nerissa always knew what to say. Always. "I jest. He is only a boy, after all."

"After all." Luxa sighed then before shaking her head. "And you enjoy men. Dead men. Like Sandwich."

"Very much so. I think that Sandwich and I would have gotten along well together."

Rolling her eyes, Luxa headed out the door. "Good day, Nerissa."

"A very good day," Nerissa whispered to herself after Luxa left. "A very good day for living for yourself."

That made her laugh for twenty minutes, at least. Then, when she sobered and looked around the room to find herself alone, Nerissa only smiled before laying back, flat on the ground, to stare up at the Prophecy of Time.

"Or a very good day to live for the prophecies."