Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.

She didn't realize she was screaming.

The sound reverberated inside her helmet, harsh and ringing, and her ears ached sharply. But all she could see was the heaviness of dark gray smoke, flames licking at the edges, and the shadow of a dragon darting through, flickering with every flash of lightning.

She could see the small figure on the dragon's back.

She told him not to do this. She told him not to interfere. She told him this was just the way things were meant to be, that dragons followed their own rules and Vikings theirs. He yelled right back, begging her to reconsider, to help, to listen.

If she was a good mother, maybe she would have listened. She would have known how to talk to him. But she wasn't, and she didn't, and she told him not to do it, not to be so foolish, and he left. He left angry and hurt, ignoring her calls.

She stayed in the cove for a long time after that, stalking back and forth, replaying every word of the argument in her mind. Her thoughts tumbled, circling from he doesn't know the first thing about dragons to dear gods, what will Stoick do? to you're not a part of this, just stay out of this before settling on if you were actually a good mother, none of this would have happened.

It was that final thought that pushed her to mount Cloudjumper and fly towards the nest.

She'd spent the past few weeks living in the cove, keeping a close eye on Toothless and getting to know her son. Hiccup came every day, scrambling over the edge of the ridge with a cheerful "hi, Mom!" and a wave so enthusiastic she sometimes feared he was going to knock himself over. Enthusiasm seemed to be the key word with her son; he didn't do anything halfway and jabbered a mile a minute about anything and everything. She mostly kept quiet, nodding and smiling to let him know she was listening, and wishing there was a way she could tell him how much she loved listening to him talk.

The only thing she hated was his last question. He asked the same thing every night before he left, and no matter how she braced herself it still hurt to answer.

"Mom, can you come home now?"

And every night she kissed his cheek and told him no.

She wasn't ready. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready. She didn't know how she could see all those strangers who had once been friends, or walk through the unfamiliar house that used to be her own, or meet the husband she'd left behind. And what was she supposed to do about her dragons?

Only the thought of her son getting himself into trouble could motivate her into leaving. She was still angry, but she was worried. It was an unfamiliar feeling, thick and suffocating in her chest. She would just linger on the outskirts, long enough to make sure he was all right. That was all.

But she saw the massive dragon falling, and the tiny figure spiraling out of control towards the unforgiving earth, and all she could do was scream.

The ground shook beneath her as the Red Death fell. Cloudjumper bucked, shaking his heavy head, and Valka slid from his side. Her breaths came in sharp audible keening sobs and she stumbled as she reached the rocky shore.

Black ash fell like snow, thick as the silence. She pushed past the Vikings huddled on the shoreline, her heart thudding in her chest, but she skidded to a stop in shock.

Her husband walked out of the smoke.

Stoick was the same but different than she remembered- still tall and broad-shouldered and powerfully muscled, but his heavy beard was shot faintly here and there with the slightest strands of silver. He strode over the rocks, searching desperately. "Hiccup!" he bellowed. "Hiccup."

There was no answer. Valka stood still, the sound of her breaths rocketing inside her helmet. "Son!" Stoick roared.

She heard a soft whickering noise and whipped around to face it. Toothless was curled up on the ground, his eyes half-closed, but he raised his head as Stoick ran towards him. Valka followed, running closer to him than she should, hoping against hope that Hiccup was with him.

But the saddle was empty. Her son was gone.

Stoick sank down to his knees. "Oh, son," he breathed. "I did this."

No, you didn't, Valka wanted to scream. I did. This is all my fault.

Toothless blinked slowly, still dazed from his long fall. Stoick bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, son," Valka heard him whisper.

Toothless blinked again, then slowly lifted his wings. Clutched in his grip was a small limp figure.

Her son.

"Hiccup!" Stoick said, darting forward with alarming speed and pulling Hiccup's limp form out of Toothless's clutch. His eyes were closed and his mouth pale and slack. Stoick held him close, smoothing his hair out of his eyes and studying his face anxiously.

Valka ripped off her helmet and let it fall to the ground. Cold air bit at her exposed skin and she held her breath, waiting.

There's a body, she consoled herself. You have his body, he can have a proper funeral at least.

Stoick threw his helmet to the side and pressed his ear to Hiccup's narrow chest. Valka covered her mouth with her hands. An eternity passed.

"He's alive," Stoick shouted in a half-broken laugh. He turned to Toothless in awe. "You brought him back alive."

Valka bowed her head, covering her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with one heavy relieved sob before she could still herself, letting the words settle around her. He's alive. Hiccup's alive.

Stoick reached out and gently placed a massive palm along the side of Toothless's head. "Thank you," he said, quiet and sincere. "For saving my son."

Valka took a step towards him, one hand half outstretched, and her boots slid sharply on the rocks. Stoick turned to the noise.

She froze. He stared at her as if he was seeing a ghost- which, she supposed, was true for him.

"I know what you're going to say, Stoick," she stammered, backing away from him. "How could I have done this? Stay away all these years and why didn't I come back to you? To our son?"

She couldn't look at Stoick, she couldn't look at her son. Angry, be angry, she thought.

"Well, what sign did I have that you could change, Stoick?" she demanded. "That anyone could? I pleaded so many times to stop the fighting and to find another answer, but did any of you listen?" I know that I left you to raise Hiccup alone, but I thought he'd be better off without me." She hesitated. "And...I was wrong. I see that now."

Stoick just looked at her, his expression unreadable. Valka gritted her teeth in frustration. "Oh, stop being so stoic, Stoick!" she snapped. "Go on! Shout! Scream! Say something!"

Stoick held out a hand. "Valka," he said, his eyes soft and his voice gentle. "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you."

She sank down beside him, her hand falling into his and his fingers twining through hers. "Stoick, I'm so sorry," she whispered. He squeezed her hand tightly; her fingers disappeared in his grip, as comfortable and warm and safe as she remembered.

"There's so much I've got to ask you," Stoick said. "But...we've got to get Hiccup back." He glanced behind him. "We've got to get everyone back."

"Let me take care of him," Valka begged. "Please, Stoick."

He let go of her hand and laid Hiccup carefully on the ground. "Watch his leg, he's bleeding bad," Stoick warned. He kissed her on the forehead and pushed himself up. "I'll be right back. Guard him."

"I will," she promised. "I will, Stoick."

She turned her attention back to Hiccup, brushing at her damp eyes with her forearm. "It's all right, sweetheart," she said to him, pushing his hair back away from his forehead. "I'm here now."

She finally looked down at his left leg and started in horror. "Oh, gods," she said. She pressed down on the artery in the back of his knee, trying to take stock of the damage before her panic overtook.

The teeth marks were deep, making dark punctures in his thin leg and seeping blood. His shinbone was shattered, fragments poking sharply through the skin. "He caught you in his teeth," Valka said to herself. "He saved you, though. That's all that matters."

"Saved him at the cost of his leg."

Valka glanced over her shoulder. "Gobber?" she said in surprise.

Her husband's best friend knelt down and started wrapping a splint around Hiccup's damaged leg. "The same," he said. "Hold him steady for me, Valka? We don't want him waking up and moving around."

Valka shifted and rested her hand against Hiccup's chest. She could feel his heartbeat, thready and erratic but still there. "Are you sure he'll lose his leg?" she asked, even though she knew the answer already.

"There's no chance of putting him back together. It'll be for the best," Gobber said, tying down the bandages of the splint. "We'll keep him steady till we get back to Berk and can take care of him properly." He grinned at her. "Besides, there are worse things that can happen, am I right?"

"Right," she echoed.

Gobber squeezed her shoulder. "It's good to have you here, Val," he said.

She nodded and opened her mouth to answer him, but she saw Hiccup blink. "Hiccup?" she said, leaning over him and pressing her hand to his cheek. "Stay still. Don't you dare move."

He squinted up at her. "Mom?" he croaked. He tried to push himself into a sitting position and fell back sharply. "Ow. Ow, Mom, it hurts."

"I know, my love, just lie still," she coaxed. "You're hurt. But it's all right. You'll be fine."

Hiccup's chest heaved and he looked around wildly. "Where's Toothless?" he demanded. "Is he okay? Toothless!"

The dragon lifted his head when he heard his name and limped over to them, pressing his chin against Hiccup's shoulder and licking his cheek. Hiccup sagged back, his breathing still ragged. "You're okay," he said, dropping a shaking hand to the top of Toothless's head. "Oh, gods, you're okay." His drooping eyes flew open. "Mom? Did we stop it? Did we stop the dragon?"

"You did," Valka said, tangling her fingers in his hair. "You did so well, Hiccup. You're so brave."

He half smiled at that, but it faded quickly as his head lolled to the side. "Mom, I'm dizzy," he mumbled.

Valka tucked her fingertips around his wrist, feeling his uneven pulse and the cool clamminess of his skin. A spike of worry shot through her heart. "You're all right, love," she lied. She slid an arm under his shoulders and lifted him gently into her arms. Hiccup leaned heavily into her shoulder, his eyes sliding shut.

Stoick knelt beside her, his hand gentle against her back. "The first ship is ready," he said. "We've got to get him back."

"Wouldn't it be faster to take him on my dragon?" she said, still keeping a close eye on her son's face. He had slipped back into unconsciousness, his lips white.

Stoick furrowed his brow. "You've got a dragon?" he asked.

"A lot's happened in fifteen years," she said.

Stoick started to say something, then stopped. "We'll talk about the dragon later," he said. "Are you sure you can manage?"

"I'm sure," she said.

Stoick gritted his teeth and looked off towards the boats lingering on the shore, then turned back. "Take him then," he said. "I'll stay here and get everyone back. You take Hiccup." He paused. "Take Astrid with you."

"Astrid?" she repeated.

Stoick paused. "Oh," he said. "The Hofferson lass. Good girl, good head on her shoulders. She'll help guide you back towards Berk. Since you're not...quite as familiar as you used to be." She nodded. Cloudjumper could bear three riders without a problem. Stoick bent and scooped up Hiccup in his arms. "Where's your dragon?"

Valka stood up, steadily ignoring the blood spatters on her clothes, and walked towards the outcropping where she'd left Cloudjumper. The Stormcutter had stayed put, but he was antsy, shifting his weight back and forth. "Easy, love," she murmured, patting his broad flat nose. "You've got some precious cargo."

He lowered his heavy head obediently as she climbed on, and leaned still lower as Stoick hefted Hiccup's limp weight into her arms. Valka pulled him close to her chest, careful of his injured leg, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. "You've got him?" Stoick asked. She nodded, tightening her grip around his waist. Stoick gazed at her, his eyes soft, and squeezed her upper arm carefully.

"You wanted to see me, Chief?"

Valka looked down to see a slim blonde girl, Hiccup's age or a bit older, waiting a little distance away. Stoick waved her over. "Go with them back to Berk," he said. "I trust you to guide them. Get them back safe."

"Oh...okay," the girl said. "You're sure?"

Stoick nodded. "As long as you're not afraid to fly," he said.

She smoothed her hands down her ripped skirt. "I'm fine," she said. "I can do it."

Stoick hoisted her up onto Cloudjumper's back. Valka caught the girl's waist, settling her in front with Hiccup lying between them. "Get back safe," Stoick said. "I'll see you soon."

Valka smiled at him hesitantly. Stoick smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. "Soon," she mouthed back, and she squeezed Cloudjumper's sides lightly to nudge him into the air.

The dragon rose slowly and smoothly into the dimming sky. Valka cradled Hiccup closer, trying to keep him warm as he shivered. They had to get him back soon, before the shock set in too deeply.

"So...I'm Astrid, by the way," the girl said. "Astrid Hofferson."

"Oh," Valka said to the back of the girl's head. "It's...nice to meet you."

She hadn't exactly been prepared for a sudden encounter with a stranger. Being around Stoick was a shock enough, but now she was trapped on a dragon's back with a girl she'd never met before. At least...she didn't think she'd met.

"Hofferson," she repeated suddenly. "Is your mother Ingrid?"

"Uh-huh," Astrid said.

Valka smiled. "I was there for your naming ceremony," she said. "You were the loveliest baby."

"Thank you," Astrid said hesitantly. "And I guess...you're Hiccup's mom?"

Valka paused, looking down at her child's face. "Yes," she said. "I'm his mother."

The words were bittersweet. If only she'd come back to Berk sooner. This girl wouldn't have to ask if she was Hiccup's mother, she'd know. But no one in Berk knew her. And she didn't even know her own son.

"Can I ask you something?" Valka asked.

"Sure."

Valka stroked Hiccup's hair away from his face. "What's Hiccup like?"

Astrid was silent for a moment. "Smart," she said. "Not just facts-smart, but...clever." Cloudjumper shifted and she lunged forward, tightening her grip on his horns before relaxing again. "He's so stubborn it drives everyone crazy. Same with him being so clumsy. I mean, a few months ago we couldn't even let him out of the house during a raid because he would mess something up."

Valka couldn't see the expression on Astrid's face, but she could hear a smile in her voice. "But he's sweet. He's sweet and thoughtful and….well, none of us really noticed it until now." She paused. "You should be proud of him."

"I am," Valka said, and she had never meant anything more.

Hiccup shifted restlessly in her arms, making a small soft noise of discomfort, and Valka bent over him to press her cheek to his forehead. She couldn't have those years back, but she was here now. Now she could see for herself how sweet and thoughtful and clever and stubborn and smart her son was.

"There," Astrid said. "Down there, that's Berk. Wow, we got here fast."

"Dragons, dear," Valka said. "A bit faster than ships, and easier to train than waves."

Astrid laughed, but Valka's heart tightened as they circled closer to the village. Fifteen years ago this was her home and she was coming back a stranger. Maybe she shouldn't have come back at all.

Cloudjumper reached solid ground, stumbling as he touched land, and Hiccup jerked sharply in Valka's arms. "What's going- oh," he choked.

"What's wrong?" Astrid demanded, turning around sharply.

Hiccup gasped for breath. "Mom, my leg hurts, it really hurts," he said, his fingers scrabbling to take hold of her sleeve.

"I know, just stay still," she said. Cloudjumper flattened himself as low to the ground as he could and she slid off his side. Hiccup clutched at her, keening into her shoulder, and then he suddenly went limp. "Hiccup?"

"Is he okay?" Astrid asked as she scrambled down after them, but her blue eyes widened as she took in the thick splint wrapped around Hiccup's leg and the sheer amount of blood. "Oh...oh my god…"

Valka adjusted Hiccup in her arms, struggling to tamp down the panic rising in her throat like bile. "Go get the healer," she said. "I'm taking him home."

Astrid hesitated. "Can you find it on your own, or-"

"I know it, just go get help," Valka said, her voice sharper than she intended, and Astrid went running down the hill.

Valka kissed Hiccup's temple. "Come on, love," she said. "You're going to be all right. You're home."

It didn't matter how long she'd been gone- she still remembered the path to her own home. Stoick had built the house before their wedding and brought her there as a new bride; she had given birth to Hiccup in this house. She'd buried her first two children here. She knew every step to the front door, as if she'd only left yesterday.

"We're home, baby," she whispered into Hiccup's hair. He was limp and heavy in her arms, but still small enough that she could carry him. "Hang on. We're home."

She nudged the door open. The house was cluttered and quiet and smelled like cedar woodsmoke, just like it always used to. She carried Hiccup into the main room and laid him down on the table, his head tilting drunkenly. The fire had died down; she stoked it again until the blaze was warm and the room was bright.

"I brought the healers!" Astrid called, running into the room. "I came as fast as I could."

She was slightly out of breath, dirt still smeared across one cheek from the battle. The healers followed her, and the elder of the two paused. "Well, Valka," Gothi said. "It's about time you returned."

"It's...it's been a long time," she said.

"Is Hiccup okay?" Astrid asked, fidgeting anxiously. "I told them his leg was bleeding. Is it broken?"

Valka hesitated. The other healer, the one she didn't recognize, moved quickly to take a better look at Hiccup, carefully removing the splint. "It's not broken, it's crushed," she said. "There's no way we can save it."

Astrid paled. "Wait...what?" she stammered. "Are you sure? Look again!" She lunged forward; Valka grabbed her around the waist to stop her. "Let me go! You said he'll be fine!"

The healers were already beginning, unpacking their vials and packets and cloths. Valka turned Astrid around before she could catch sight of the knife. "It has to be done," she said gently, squeezing Astrid's upper arms. "Better for him to learn how to live without than suffer with a leg that will never fully heal."

"But...it's not fair," Astrid whispered. She knuckled her wet eyes; a tear tracked through the dirt on her cheek, leaving a white mark. "It's not fair at all."

"I know," Valka said. "But that's the way it is for Vikings."

"Astrid," Gothi said. "Come help us." Astrid stared at Hiccup's prone form, at the blood puddling around him. "Come here, child."

Astrid took a deep breath, steeling herself, and squared her shoulders. "What do you need me to do?" she asked. The younger healer beckoned her over and she followed, her fists clenched at her sides.

"Valka, you keep your boy still," Gothi said. Valka smoothed her hands down her thighs, suddenly anxious. "Take this, have him breathe it in. Do it again if he starts to wake while we're working."

Valka took the soft cloth she offered. It smelled heavily of herbs, sweet and thick. "Don't be afraid, Hiccup," she whispered in her son's ear as she placed the cloth lightly over his mouth and nose. "I'm right here. I won't leave you."

She heard the bright ringing sound of the knife sliding across the whetstone, and suddenly she couldn't swallow. Carefully she set the cloth aside and sat down on the edge of the table, stroking Hiccup's silky hair and watching the firelight play shadows across his pale freckled face. She started humming, just as much to distract herself as to drown out the other sounds in the room.

"Steady, Astrid," she heard Gothi say. "Leave the room if you have to."

"No, I'm fine," the girl whispered.

Valka concentrated on her fingers sliding through Hiccup's hair. He was dark haired, like she was, but here and there she caught strands of red like his father. She heard the knife catch on bone and she winced, bending over her son to press her forehead to his. His breathing was slower still, and ragged, but warm against her cheek.

She couldn't tell if it took ten minutes or an hour for them to finish. All she could see was Hiccup and the rise and fall of his chest, the way she used to watch him when he was a baby asleep in the cradle. It was easier that way.

"It's done," Gothi said at last.

Valka straightened her stiff back and looked over her shoulder. Hiccup's left leg was gone from just below the knee; what remained was wrapped securely in strips of torn linen. Her stomach churned. "Is he going to be all right?" she asked.

The other healer brushed past her with a bloody bundle of rags in her arms. "He'll be fine," Gothi said. "Change the bandages twice a day and keep the stitches dry. He'll be up and about in no time."

Valka nodded. Astrid approached her, arms hugged tight around herself. "Can I go home?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course," Valka said. "Thank you. For everything."

Astrid nodded, her lower lip trembling as she tried to smile. With her bedraggled hair and dirty face she looked like the exhausted, terrified child she was, rather than a Viking shieldmaiden. She hesitated, gazing down at Hiccup's pale sleeping face, and took a tentative step towards him, one hand reaching out to brush against his shoulder, and then she turned sharply on her heel and ran out of the house, nearly mowing down Stoick in her hurry.

Stoick took a step back to let her pass. "Valka, is he...is it done?" he asked.

"He'll recover," Gothi said, patting him on his broad arm as she brushed past him. "Some rest and attention and he'll do just fine."

Stoick didn't seem to notice Valka there. He walked over to his son like a man asleep, his steps slow and heavy. Gently, more gently than Valka could have imagined, he cupped Hiccup's cheek in his hand and bent to kiss his forehead. "My boy," she heard him say quietly. "I'm so sorry, son."

Something cool and damp nudged against Valka's side. Toothless leaned against her, his snout pressing into her hand. She rubbed the top of his head. "We should get him to bed," she said softly. "He needs his rest."

Stoick nodded woodenly. "I've got him," he said. He picked Hiccup up easily and carried him out.

Valka exhaled slowly and ran her hand over Toothless's spikes. "You'd best get some sleep too," she told him. "You've had a hard day." He whuffled into her hand and shook his head before limping towards the fire and coiling up beside it like a cat.

"Valka?"

She gave Toothless a last pat on the head and headed up the stairs. Stoick had pulled back the blankets on the bed and set Hiccup down, but now he just stood there looking lost. "Valka, can you…" His voice trailed off and he sank down on the edge of the bed. "I can't do this."

Valka placed her hand tentatively on his broad shoulder. "It's not the end of the world," she said quietly.

"It feels like it, Val," Stoick said. He exhaled slowly, his shoulders sagging. "An hour ago he was a normal boy. Now…"

She stroked his shoulder gently. "Now he has both of us," she reminded him. "No matter what happens, we're here." She kissed the top of Stoick's head. He reached up for her hands, wrapping his large fingers around her slim ones. "That's what parents are there for. To let their little ones walk on their own, but stay close enough to pick them back up if they need it."

Stoick held her hands thoughtfully, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her palms. "Does this mean you're staying?" he asked quietly.

She paused. "I...I'm honestly not sure," she confessed. "But I'm here for now. For Hiccup."

"We still have a lot to talk about," Stoick reminded her.

"I know."

He let go of her hands slowly, sliding her fingers between his, and stood up to face her. She'd forgotten exactly how tall he was. "But for right now...we just worry about Hiccup," he said. He leaned in, then paused and drew back. Her heart turned over in her chest, and before he could turn away she tugged on the neckline of his tunic till he was at her level and pressed a kiss on his lips, light and almost shy. She could feel Stoick smiling against her mouth as he kissed her back.

"Stay here, Val," he said, gazing at her with that familiar look of adoration that she hadn't seen in years. "Take care of Hiccup. I'll be right back."

She nodded. Stoick kissed her again, this time on the cheek, and strode out of the room. She sighed, rubbing her upper arms to ward off the sudden pinpricks that came out of nowhere. "Focus," she told herself.

She looked at Hiccup lying in his bed. A lump rose in her throat. The last time she tucked Hiccup into bed he was sleeping in a cradle. "Oh, my love," she said, touching his ankle lightly. "I've missed so much."

She unlatched the leather riding harness still strapped to his chest and laid it aside carefully on the floor. He'd made it himself; the metalwork was good and the stitching surprisingly even. She wondered what other things he'd made in the past fifteen years.

She carefully tugged his tunic over his head, the fabric still damp from seawater and sweat and smelling heavily of smoke. Beneath the shirt he was thin and pale, his skin peppered with freckles. He was bruised, too, in big purple and gray and navy splotches that spread out along his chest and sides. Valka traced the marks on his soft skin, her mouth pressing together.

His leggings had already been cut away from his left leg, and a few tugs loosened the side seams enough to pull them apart. The cloth was stiff and heavy with dried blood; even if they hadn't been cut off they would be too stained to try to keep.

She rummaged through the chest of drawers pushed against the wall, feeling like an intruder. Hiccup's belongings were tossed together haphazardly, his clothes mixed together with charcoal pencils and bits of paper.

Her fingers brushed something soft and she tugged it out from the bottom of the drawer. She recognized it instantly, her heart giving a huge clattering leap against her ribcage. It was the little toy dragon she'd made for Hiccup when he was just a baby, complete with his name stitched on the side. The toy was a bit battered and worse for wear, but it seemed like almost yesterday she was making the dragon bounce around the cradle to make her baby giggle.

She set the toy on top of the drawers, smiling to herself, and pulled out a set of clean clothes. Hiccup stayed limp and silent as she dressed him. She was extra careful with his heavily bandaged leg, keeping a wide berth over the fresh stitches. "There, little one," she said as she draped a blanket over him. "That's better."

She turned away to drop the dirty clothes in the pile in the corner- Hiccup's room was far from being organized and clean- but a soft sound drew her back.

"Hiccup?" she said.

He was tossing his head restlessly back and forth on the pillow. "Mm," he moaned, his eyes squinching shut.

Valka sat down beside him. "I'm here, love," she soothed, rubbing his chest lightly. "I'm right here." He didn't seem aware of her presence, still moving restlessly against the pillow. "Hiccup, it's all right, I'm here."

His chest heaved. He opened his eyes just enough for her to see the faintest sliver of green. "Mom?" he said blearily, as if he didn't quite believe she was there.

"It's me, love," she reassured him. "Lie still."

"Mom, it hurts," he whimpered, his eyes sliding shut and his mouth drawing into a thin line. "It hurts."

Valka slid her arms under his back and lifted him onto her lap. "I'm here, baby, I'm right here," she begged. She pressed her hand to the side of his head, leaning his cheek against her shoulder. "Hiccup, love, just open your eyes and look at me."

He struggled to obey, his eyes still hazy and unfocused. Valka tried to smile at him. He made a faint bleating noise, sad and soft, and she hugged him tightly. "Please don't cry, Hiccup," she whispered. "I'm so sorry you got hurt. I'm so sorry about your leg. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm sorry…"

Her voice trailed off. She wondered how many other nights Hiccup went to sleep in this bed wishing she was there, if he woke up from nightmares calling for her, if he had ever been sick or scared or hurt and needed her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

She held him to her heart like he was still the baby she left behind. Hot tears dripped down her cheeks and soaked her sleeves and his hair, without her truly realizing that she was crying.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed as she rocked him gently, pressing kisses to his hair and cheeks and temples. She kept repeating it, her arms tight around her son, until she had cried herself empty. He was asleep by the time she had composed herself, his lips softly parted. Valka laid him back down on the bed and pulled the blanket around him, swiping furtively at her wet face.

"Give him this," Stoick said gently, handing her a heavy blanket.

"I hadn't even heard you come in," she said, pretending she hadn't been crying. She started to unfold it, but realized it was a thick plush velvet with a soft lining. "Stoick, this is-"

"The cloak I got you as a wedding present," Stoick smiled. He took it from her hands and draped it around Hiccup, tucking him in snugly. "He's always cold, you know. No muscle on those bird bones of his."

"He got that from me," Valka tried to joke, but her voice came out thick and wet.

"When he was small he had night terrors," Stoick said quietly. "Not nightmares. More than that. He'd scream and cry and there'd be nothing I could do to calm him down. Except for this." He tapped the fabric of the cloak lightly. "I'd wrap him up in this and he'd go right back to sleep."

Valka traced the soft curve of Hiccup's nose. "I should have come back, Stoick," she said. "No matter what, I should have come back, at least for him."

Stoick squeezed her shoulders. "There's no changing the past, love," he said. Valka closed her eyes as Stoick kissed the top of her head. "But for now...d'you want to come and sit with me for a bit?"

And Valka did.

Author's Notes:

Hoo boy. Feelings. A lot of feelings.

I've always wondered what happened between the battle with the Red Death and Hiccup waking up. The script specifies he woke up a week or so later, so a LOT must have happened. And it must have been pretty traumatic.

They also didn't specify exactly how Hiccup was injured enough to warrant the loss of his leg. But it would have to be a lot. Like a lot.

(I'm actually also working on a canon oneshot about that, from Stoick's point of view, if anyone wants to see it.)

(I've also been sucked into all that wonderful nonsense that is Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons, and I've started drabbling for that. Mostly I'm obsessed with the idea of Hiccup being Anna and Elsa's baby cousin. He and Elsa are especially close. She's like a surrogate mom to him, and it's adorable.)

In any case, thank you so much for the feedback you've given for the first part! I'm off to work on part 3, so if you have thoughts or questions or just want to say hi, please leave a review! Or just leave a review in general, they are so very much appreciated. Like you. I appreciate you. You have a lovely face. Let's be friends.