Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.
Hiccup slept for a week.
Valka tried not to hover, but she found herself constantly wandering back into his room to check on him- tucking him back in when he tossed and turned, checking the bandages to see how his stitches were healing, staying as still as possible so she could double and triple check that yes, his chest was still rising and falling in steady breaths.
At first she tried to keep it a secret, but she kept catching Stoick doing the same thing, standing at Hiccup's bedside and watching him carefully for any signs that he might wake up. Then she tried to pretend that she hadn't noticed him, but Stoick finally just sighed and suggested they have him sleep in the main room, where they could both watch him to their hearts' content.
The only member of the household that didn't try to conceal their feelings was Toothless. On the first morning, when Valka went to Hiccup's room to check on him, she found the door dangling off its hinges and the dragon curled up on the edge of the bed like an overly large dog. Stoick tried to shoo him away, but Toothless bared his gums and shook his head and dropped his chin on Hiccup's thigh with an expression that said like hell you're making me leave my little human.
So the dragon stayed in the house, watching Hiccup like a hawk. "It's not normal for a dragon to choose to stay cooped up," Valka kept telling Stoick, who just humphed gruffly at her. He kept pretending like he didn't see Toothless, and when he did he was scolding him, but on more than one occasion Valka saw him gingerly stroking the top of the dragon's head, or sneaking him a fish when he thought she wasn't looking.
They fell into an uneasy peace. In so many ways they fell back into the routines they followed fifteen years ago. But now all they could do was wait for Hiccup to wake up before they could truly start their lives over.
Hiccup woke up a few times, never longer than ten minutes, and never lucid. The first time it happened, Valka nearly had a heart attack. He bolted upright, looked right at her, and mumbled something.
"Hiccup?" she said, jumping in surprise.
"Mmph...mrrmph," he mumbled, his shoulders raising and lowering.
"Hiccup, are you awake?" she asked.
He made a noise that she couldn't understand. She reached for the cup on the table and sat down beside Hiccup. "Sweetheart," Valka said, tilting his chin so she could look into his eyes. "Are you awake?"
He screwed up his face and mumbled something that sounded like "thirsty." Valka smiled and tipped the cup of water against his lips, cupping her hand against the back of his neck. Hiccup drank thirstily, water dripping down his chin. "Not so fast, love, you'll choke," she chided gently.
He smacked his lips sleepily, his head already drooping. Valka set the empty cup aside and wiped the water from his lips with the hem of her skirt. "Back to sleep then, is it?" she smiled. She kissed the top of his head. "You just keep resting, lovey."
She helped him lie back down, tucking the blanket and cloak around him snugly. He was fast asleep again before his head even touched the pillow.
He woke up like that a few times during that week, sitting up long enough for her to coax him into drinking some water or eating a little bit of soup, but nothing he said ever made sense and he never seemed to quite recognize her. She tried not to feel upset about it. She just waited.
The other kids waited too. At least once a day one of them knocked on the door, hesitant and deferential. "Um, hi...is Hiccup awake yet?" they would ask. Every day she would have to turn them away. She finally grew so sorry for them that she gave them an impromptu lesson on their dragons, teaching them the things she'd learned. They were a rowdy bunch, all rough around the edges, but good underneath all their bluster.
They called her "Lady," which gave her a small heart attack every time she had heard it. She'd forgotten. Stoick was Chief, and as his wife she was Lady. Hearing it come out of their mouths, respectful and affectionate at the same time, made her heart ache.
The only child she allowed inside was Astrid. It was clear that she was the leader of the ragtag little bunch; she was bright and unafraid of taking charge and fiercely headstrong. But she seemed to have a soft spot for Hiccup, hidden far behind all that stubborn logic and ax-wielding power. Valka tried to give her space when she went in to see Hiccup. Astrid didn't linger long. She sat beside Hiccup for a little while, watching his sleeping face, before leaning over to whisper something in his ear. When she left she offered a shy smile and a quiet thank you to Valka, but all Valka really wanted to know was what she had whispered.
On the fourth day Gobber came by, walking into the house as if it had never occurred to him to knock. "I know it's a bit early, but I brought this," he said.
Stoick took the bundle he offered. "A prosthetic?" he said, examining it closely.
Gobber shrugged. "I'm sure he'll want to make his own, but I thought this would do for now," he said. "Easier to wake up with it already there. Learned that from experience."
Valka let the men talk. She sat beside Hiccup instead, stroking the soft skin of his inner wrist. She didn't even look up when Gobber left and Stoick walked in with the prosthetic leg. "I didn't want this for him," she said in a low voice as Stoick pulled back the blankets.
"I know, love," he said quietly. His hands were gentle as he tied on the makeshift limb. "But it's all we can do."
She waited patiently for Hiccup to wake up, but in the end she wasn't even there.
She'd gone outside for just a moment, long enough to draw more water from the village well. When she came back, her son was standing outside, leaning heavily on Toothless's support and gazing around in disbelief. Stoick had his broad arm around his shoulder. "Am I dead?" Hiccup said.
"No, but you gave it your best shot," Stoick said. He laughed as he said it, but Valka could see his arm tighten protectively around Hiccup's thin shoulders. She set down the water bucket and took a step towards them, but a slim blonde stormed past her and got there first.
"Hey!" Astrid said, punching him sharply in the arm. Hiccup winced, ducking his head. "That's for scaring me."
"What, is it always going to be like this?" Hiccup protested. "Because I-" Astrid grabbed him by the neckline of his tunic and yanked him close to press a kiss on his cheek. Hiccup's mouth dropped open. "I could get used to this."
Toothless bounded around him, finally perked up and energetic now that his boy was awake. "Do you want to fly for a bit, bud?" Hiccup asked, rubbing Toothless behind an ear ridge. He glanced at Astrid. "You want to come too?"
"Only always," Astrid said. "Think you can keep up?"
Hiccup grinned. "I'm pretty sure I can manage," he said.
Despite his words, Valka saw him hesitate before settling down on the saddle. His new prosthetic clicked into place in the stirrup, and she saw the relief on his face. He might be newly crippled on land, but in the air he was still in one piece.
She couldn't help but wonder, though, as he took off into the bright skies, that he might be pushing himself a little too far. He'd been asleep for nearly seven days, after all, drinking little and eating less. And the wound on his leg was still raw. It might be too much for him.
"Stoick," she whispered as she sidled up to her husband. "Shouldn't we tell him to stay at home for now?"
Stoick watched his son and his dragon climb into the sky, fading smaller and smaller. "Hm," he said. "He should be all right."
He didn't sound entirely sure of himself, though, and Valka wondered how many times he'd accidentally let Hiccup get away with things he never should have done in the first place.
She ended up sitting at the threshold of the house, waiting for him to come home. Stoick was off working in the village, and he offered for her to come with him- to give her advice, of all things, that was a phrase she'd never expected to hear- but she was too distracted. She wanted her quiet. She wanted to think.
The sun was beginning to set when Hiccup finally landed. He was laughing, cracking jokes with his friends. Valka smiled to herself as she watched him.
The other teenagers left, taking their dragons with them, and Hiccup stayed, still sitting on Toothless's back and petting his neck gently. "Hey, Mom?" he finally called.
Valka stood up. "What's wrong, love?" she asked.
"Can you give me a hand?" Hiccup said. "I'm, uh….not sure if I can get down." He hesitated, screwing up his face. "And...I think I might be bleeding."
Valka was up in an instant. Hiccup leaned heavily on the pommel of the saddle, trying to take the pressure off his bad leg. "How long have you been hurting?" she asked, reaching down to unlatch the prosthetic from the modified stirrup.
"I honestly didn't feel it while I was flying," Hiccup said, wincing as he slid off Toothless's side and rested all of his weight on his right leg. "I mean, when I'm up there...I even kind of forgot for a while that I- ah!"
He stumbled as he swung his left leg over the saddle. Valka caught him under his arms. "Slowly, Hiccup, slowly," she scolded.
"I don't really do 'slowly'," he said. He was grinning, but his lips were white. "Can I go...lie down for a while, maybe?"
Valka caught sight of the blood slowly seeping around the top of his prosthetic. "Mm-hm," she said, distracted, as she slid an arm around his waist. He leaned heavily on her support as she helped him into the house. Toothless followed closely, nudging at Hiccup's hip to keep him from tilting too far to the side.
"Sit," Valka ordered, pushing him towards his bed. "Sit down right now and don't move."
Hiccup blinked, startled at her sudden fierceness. "Yes, uh...yes, ma'am," he said, hobbling across the room.
Toothless cocked his head and warbled at Valka. "Don't give me that look, I'm angry at you too," she said. She sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully pried off the new prosthetic. The skin around his knee was rubbed raw and badly blistered. "You've popped some of your stitches, that's why you're bleeding."
Hiccup jumped, grabbing the side of the bed and yelping, as she pressed a damp cloth against his torn skin. "Ow! Mom, ow!" he complained, his fingers scrabbling against the headboard.
"Yes, it's going to hurt," she said, not looking up at him as she wiped away the blood. "How could you be so foolish, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III?"
He gulped audibly.
"You nearly died a week ago, Hiccup," she said sharply. "You're in no condition to go flying around. You should know better."
"Yes, ma'am," he said sheepishly.
"You are grounded, young man," she said. Now that he was a bit cleaned up, she could see that the damage wasn't as bad as she thought. But her heart was still racing just a bit too fast from the panic he'd put her in. "No flying. For at least a week. Maybe longer. If Toothless needs to fly, then I will take him. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said again. He hung his head, still sheepish, but if she wasn't mistaken, there was the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
"You are going to rest," she said. "Whether you like it or not. You need time to heal properly, and running around and flying isn't going to help that at all. You hear me?"
"Yes, ma'am," he repeated.
He was definitely smiling as he looked down at at the floor, a lopsided little grin. Valka tilted his chin so he was looking her in the eyes. "And what exactly are you smiling about?" she demanded.
"Well, Hiccup said, trying to evade her gaze but still looking up at her meekly from under his eyelashes. "I've never been yelled at by my mom before."
Valka's shoulders sagged. "Oh, you foolish boy," she said. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and bent to kiss the top of his head. "You foolish little love."
"Does that mean I'm off the hook?" he asked eagerly. Valka flicked the side of his nose with her forefinger. "Ow! I'll take that as a no."
"Definitely still a no," she said. She sat down on the edge of the bed, taking stock of the state of his leg. "I need to fix your stitches."
Hiccup faltered. "Oh," he said. He sighed deeply. "Well, it's not like the first time I've stitches, so...have at it, I guess."
Valka took the sewing kit down from the shelf and opened it up. "When have you had stitches before?" she asked.
"Oh, well, let's see," Hiccup said, scratching the back of his neck. "A couple of times. Um...there's this one." He held out his hand, showing her a thin scar along the side of his index finger. "My first day in the forge. I was six. I just really wanted to touch everything. Oh, and this." He pushed up his sleeve. "That was in the forge...last month." He rolled his sleeve back down. "There's a couple other scars. Mostly from climbing trees, or falling on ice. Not really any manly battle induced scars like Vikings ought to have."
Valka threaded the needle. "Well, you don't need any more," she said firmly. "Now sit very still for me. And think of something to distract yourself."
Hiccup breathed out slowly, watching her draw the needle back. "Mom?" he said. "Can you tell me about when I was born?"
She nearly dropped the needle. "What?" she said, fumbling for the thread. "Why on earth would you want to know about that?"
"Because Dad's only kind of told me about stuff when I was little, and there's a lot of stuff I don't know, and come on, it'll be really distracting," Hiccup pleaded. "I'm getting stitches here."
Valka sighed. "All right," she said. "Hold still." She set the needle at his soft skin. "You were born early. You should have been a spring baby, but you born in the winter." Hiccup hissed through his teeth at the first pinprick. "Your father was away on a raid. I was the only one home, and I was afraid he wouldn't make it back in time before you were born. But I was in labor for three days. You wanted to do things on your terms."
"Dad would probably say that not much has changed," Hiccup said. Valka smiled as she took a careful stitch. "He made it back in time, though. He told me that much."
She kept her eyes on her work. "We both very nearly died," she said quietly. "I'd lost so much blood, and you were so tiny. So frail, and fragile. And you came down with a fever when you were a week old. I thought I'd already lost you."
Hiccup faltered. "Dad...didn't tell me that part," he said.
Valka paused in her stitching long enough to smooth the pad of her thumb over his kneecap. She could picture it like it was yesterday, the way her baby fussed so fretfully in the cradle of her arms, the feel of his hot soft skin under her touch, how he couldn't cry but only whimper. "Your father never doubted you," she said. "He kept telling me that you were strong, and that you would grow up to be the strongest of them all." She snipped the thread and bent to kiss his knee, just above the new line of stitches. "And he was right."
Hiccup leaned in close to her before she could move away. "What was I like when I was a baby?" he asked. "Like...did I cry a lot? Did you have a nickname for me? What was my first word?"
"Oh, love...I wasn't there for that," she said. His face fell. She drew him closer to her side, as if she could make things better that way. "You were only six months old when I was taken. You had just started to sit up on your own; you weren't even close to talking yet."
"Oh," Hiccup said. "Well, I guess...my first word will just be a mystery then."
"It wasn't a word, son, it was a full sentence."
Valka glanced up to see Stoick standing in the doorway, smiling down at them. "He was the last one of the babies born that year to learn to talk," he said. "The Hofferson girl could talk a mile a minute, those twins could jabber at each other even if no one else knew what they were saying...even Snotlout could say half a dozen words before this one said a thing."
"Oh, come on, I couldn't have been that bad," Hiccup said, nestling closer to Valka's side and grinning up at his father. Valka smoothed his hair.
"You were!" Stoick insisted. He pulled up a chair and sat down across from them. "You could make sounds, and you had different sounds for different things, but words? Not a one. Until one day, when you were nearly two, I took you with me to the kill ring. Gobber was showing me some new cages, and you- you took your chubby little hand out of your mouth, pointed at the Terrible Terrors, and said 'can I hugs that?'"
"There's no way that happened," Hiccup scoffed.
"But you did!" Stoick said. "I was so startled I nearly dropped you!" Valka shot him a sharp look, an eyebrow quirked while she tried to hide a smile. "I didn't, though. I, uh...never dropped you when you were a baby. Not once." He cleared his throat. "But after that, no one could get you to stop talking. Especially when you discovered the word 'why'. You had questions for everything, always had to know how everything worked."
Hiccup laughed; Valka felt his sides move. Her arms curled around him involuntarily. For so long her son had been a distant thought, a faint memory of a happy baby and the faceless spector of a stranger she would never know. She sighed deeply and tugged him closer. "What about when I started walking?" Hiccup asked. "Please tell me I at least walked before Astrid."
"Afraid not," Stoick said. Hiccup rolled his eyes and wriggled around on the bed until he was lying down comfortably with his head on Valka's lap and his arms around her knees. Valka stroked his hair. "But you at least beat Fishlegs and Snotlout. It was a council meeting; I had to bring you with me since no one could watch you. And all of a sudden you pulled yourself up on my knee and took a step. And then-" Stoick snapped his fingers. "Just like that, you were running around everywhere. Not a moment's peace! You were exhausting. Couldn't take my eyes off you for a second."
"Tell Mom about the time I fell out of the tree," Hiccup suggested, cuddling closer to Valka.
"Which time?"
"You know, the time when I was five. When I got stuck."
"Which time when you were five and got stuck?"
"You know, the time with the sheep."
Stoick threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, that one," he said. "Well, you weren't five yet. Nearly five. Still the smallest of your age in Berk."
"I'm still the smallest of my age in Berk," Hiccup pointed out.
"Well, there was that one ram, the biggest one on the island, and you managed to make it angry-"
"I wanted to see if its horns came off!"
"-and it chased you straight up a tree. But you couldn't get down, because you were up higher than you'd ever gone before, and the ram was waiting for you at the bottom," Stoick said. "And Gobber and I were out looking for you, but we didn't think to look for you in the trees."
"You should have, I went climbing-" Hiccup paused to yawn, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "I went climbing at least once a day."
"Yes, well, we didn't think of it," Stoick said. "We finally found you sitting up there, and we herded the ram away from you, but when we told you to get down, you decided to jump instead."
"I didn't think the ground was that far away," Hiccup mumbled.
"You should have seen him, Valka," Stoick said. "He jumped straight down, landed right on his nose. Blood everywhere. He didn't even cry, though. He just sat there, completely bewildered as to how he got on the ground, blood gushing down his face."
Valka shook her head. "Oh, you silly boy," she said, looking down at Hiccup. She paused.
"It's not nearly as bad as the time you broke your wrist though," Stoick countered.
"Stoick..."
"I still don't know how you managed it!"
"Stoick."
"I mean, it takes talent to break your wrist just by throwing a spear! I guess you weren't ready, though, you were only seven and it was twice your size-"
"Stoick!" Valka whispered loudly.
"What?" he said.
She smiled. "He fell asleep," she said.
Stoick stopped. "Well, then," he said, smiling. "Look at that."
Valka smoothed Hiccup's hair away from his face. He was deeply asleep already, his lips parted and his thin chest rising and falling slowly. Valka pried his arms gently from her knees and slid off the bed before laying him back down and tucking him in securely.
"He takes after you, you know," Stoick said quietly. "So many times I've looked at him and seen you instead. Same eyes, same chin…"
"Your nose," she reminded him.
"True," he said. "But even more than just looks, Val. He's got your smarts, your creativity. Your kindness." He squeezed her shoulder, his grip soft and warm. "We did good with this one."
"No, you did good," she corrected. "I gave birth to him, and I left."
Stoick slid his hand down her arm and wrapped his fingers around her slim ones. "It's not as black and white as that, Valka," he said, leading her to the other side of the room from their sleeping son. "It's not like you chose to leave."
"I didn't, Stoick, but I chose to stay," she said desperately. "I should have come back. You needed me. Hiccup needed me. But I made my choice."
Stoick fell silent, looking her directly in the eyes. She resisted the urge to run, to squirm out of his grasp. "Why didn't you come back, Valka?" he asked.
This was it. That was what she had been dreading.
She started to speak, stopped, started again.
"When I first came to the nest," she said, her mouth dry, "I was terrified. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know if they meant to hurt me." Stoick smoothed his thumb gently over the back of her hand. "I stayed as hidden as possible. I didn't have the faintest clue of how to get back home. But the dragons…" Her voice trailed off. "They didn't mean me any harm. They truly did. Cloudjumper in particular. He was the one that took me, remember...and he's my dragon now. I think he mistook your shouting as you threatening me, and he thought he was saving me." She looked down at the floor, biting back a rueful smile. "I think he realized that he had taken me away from my baby, because he kept bringing me hatchlings and dropping them in my lap, as a replacement."
She didn't know how to keep going. Stoick stayed silent, his hand gentle on hers, his gaze thoughtful. He was listening to her. Somehow, in all the times she'd imagined having this talk with her husband, she never pictured this reaction.
"I realized they needed me," she said quietly. "This nest was where they sent all the misfits- the sick, the injured, the runts of the litter. I started caring for them. When I learned how to fly on Cloudjumper, I started to rescue them myself. I took care of them. They were mine, I was their protector. I found my place, in a way that I never felt here." She let out a shuddering sigh. "I was a terrible chief's wife, Stoick. I was never good at taking the offense in raids, I wasn't good at talking to people, I wasn't...I wasn't able to give you the household of heirs you deserved-"
"Hey, now," he interrupted, cupping her chin in his hand. "Valka, don't you dare. You are so much more than that. And don't you think for a second it was your fault that you lost those babies."
"Hiccup shouldn't be the only child in this house, Stoick, he should be the youngest!" Valka burst out. "If everything had gone the way they ought, you'd have have five children running around this house, and Hiccup would have been strong and healthy. He'd have had the mother he always deserved. I'd be the sort of lady this village expected, I'd be the sort of wife you'd be proud of, not a-"
"Valka, Valka, don't," Stoick begged. "My love, please." He kissed her forehead. "Please don't do this." He kissed her again; his grip was strong and secure on her hand. "There is not a thing wrong with you. Not a thing. Not before you left, and not now." He leaned back on his heels, studying her expression. "I didn't marry you to have a vessel for sons. I didn't marry you to have the ideal chief's wife. I married you because I loved you, Valka. And I love you still."
She bit her lower lip hard enough to bleed, trying to still the trembling in her shoulders. He looked away for a moment, searching for the right words. "And...I can understand why you were reluctant to come back," he said at last. "If you'd come back...dammit, if you'd come back a week earlier I wouldn't have been able to see things the way you do. But now, I can see it. I can, Valka." He squeezed her hand. "And you know how that happened?"
"How?" she asked, her voice thick. She dashed at her eyes with the back of her forearm.
"Our son," Stoick said. "Hiccup saw the very things you did in his own dragon. And because he has all of your kindness, your passion, your intelligence, he was able to train him. To earn his loyalty." He grinned, his eyes hopeful. "And because he's got my stubbornness, he fought back. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for him. And he wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you."
Valka choked, pressing her hand over her mouth. "Love, we can't change the past," Stoick said gently. "I can't go back and be a different man. You can't go back and make a different choice. No one knows if a different path would turn out for the better or worse. But we're here now, and we can go forward. And we can do it together, if you'd like."
"Oh, Stoick," she whispered. "I don't know. I just don't know."
He kissed her forehead again. "There's time enough to think, Val," he said. "Take the time you need. If you need to go, then you go. But...just don't forget that there are always people here in Berk who miss you."
He kissed her on the cheek, but she turned to press her lips against his, his beard scratching lightly against her skin. He kissed her back, warmly and deeply, and straightened. "I'll be back in a bit," he said. "Keep an eye on Hiccup. Don't worry about the dragons, I'll feed them."
"All right," she said, smiling at him. Her chest ached, but there was something warm fluttering beneath her breastbone. He took up his cloak and flashed one last smile at her before he walked out the door.
"Hold on, you beasties, I'll feed you in a bit," she heard his booming voice say, a hint of a laugh in the words. She could hear Cloudjumper and Toothless bouncing and yelping. She never thought that would ever happen.
She wandered around the house for a while, touching things here and there, familiarizing herself with her home all over again. Memories came back, from the notch on the doorframe from Stoick banging into it with his sword at his hip, from the chipped plate she'd broken the first time she'd made dinner for him after their wedding, from the way the house smelled like cedar woodsmoke. She wandered around Hiccup's room and found herself clutching the toy dragon she made for him. It was battered and dirty, and the stitches of his name were coming loose along the sides, but she remembered making it for him, remembered the joy on his little face when she handed it to him, and she hugged it to her chest, burying her face in the worn out fabric.
She went back downstairs, the toy dragon still tucked in the crook of her arm, but a sudden noise stopped her in her tracks. "Hiccup?" she called softly.
Hiccup jerked sharply, his arms flailing against the bed, and whined through his teeth. Valka sat down beside him and dropped the toy on the bed. "Hiccup, you're all right," she said.
"Falling," he rasped, his eyes barely open as he struggled to wake himself up. "'m falling, Toothless, 'm falling…"
He gasped for breath, fighting valiantly to wake himself up, and without thinking Valka grabbed his arms and yanked him onto her lap. She'd fallen from Cloudjumper before, she knew what it was like- that horrifying moment when you're so sure you'll never survive, when the ground is rushing up closer and and closer. She'd woken up from nightmares like that a million times in her early flying days. And she'd be damned before she let her son wake up from that alone.
"I'm here, baby, I'm here," she said, wrapping her old cloak around him tightly. "You're safe. You're not falling. I've got you." He whimpered into her shoulder, still not fully awake, and she ran her hand up and down his thin back. "I'm here."
He sucked in a deep breath and yelped, his eyes finally opening all the way. "Am I falling?" he begged, his hands scrabbling to take hold of her sleeves.
"No, my love, not anymore," Valka said.
He clutched her arms so tightly his knuckles turned white. "But I was falling," he protested. "I fell off Toothless's back, and I was falling, and that dragon was after me-"
Valka shushed him gently, pressing her cheek to the top of his head. "That happened," she told him softly. "But it's in the past now. Don't let it haunt you, lovey."
He locked his arms around her neck, hiding his face in the crook of her shoulder. "I can't tell what was a dream and what really happened," he whispered. "I dreamed...I lost my leg. Is...is that real? Or was it a dream?"
Valka closed her eyes. "Real," she said quietly.
Hiccup was silent for a long time, long enough that she wondered if he'd fallen back asleep. But something hot and wet dripped against the collar of her dress. Valka pressed a kiss to his hair. "I'm not ready for it, Mom," he sobbed. "I want to go back. I want things to be different."
She swallowed against the bitter lump in her throat. She had never imagined how much it would hurt to see her child hurting, to hear him crying, and know there was nothing she could do.
"I know you want things to be different," she said at last. "And they can't be. All you can do, my love...is keep going."
He nodded, still choking back stifled sobs, and Valka pressed kisses to his forehead, his temple, his cheeks. She shifted Hiccup's weight on her lap and something rolled against her. She glanced down and smiled. "Look," she said, picking up the toy. "Look what I found."
Hiccup raised his head. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were wet. "Oh," he said. "You made that for me."
"You loved it so much," she said. "I remember when you were a baby, you used to laugh so hard when I made it move."
"Yeah, and then-" He paused to wipe his nose with the back of his sleeve. "Then I got scared of it."
She looked at the floppy little toy. "You were scared of it?" she said.
"Uh-huh," he said. The last vestige of a sob caught in his throat and he let out a heavy sigh. "I threw it in the ocean when I was three. But Dad found it, got it back for me. And...I don't think I'm scared of it anymore." He took it, smiling wetly, and sniffled hard. "Yeah, definitely not scared."
"You're a brave boy, Hiccup," she said. She tangled her fingers in his hair, smoothing the shaggy ends. "Clever and kind and brave."
He smiled at that, a real smile this time, and leaned his head on her shoulder again, this time with his childhood toy hugged to his chest. Valka held him in her arms until he drifted off to sleep again- a peaceful sleep this time, without nightmares. She held him close even when he was a dead weight on her lap and her arms fell asleep and prickled at the elbows.
"I'm going to be as brave as you, Hiccup," she said, smiling at her son's peaceful face. "I promise."
Author's Notes:
I DID IT I WROTE A THING AND I FINISHED IT.
First of all, credit for deviations and baby!Hiccup headcanons go to avannak on tumblr, who is lovely and wonderful and let me borrow her thoughts. And special thanks go to faeblossom and allieisrandom, also of tumblr, who let me constantly post my overwhelming mama!Valka feels in their inboxes.
I've had a really rough year, y'all, and writing has honestly been the last thing on my mind. Getting the spark for this has made me so happy. And it's still going! I have so many things I want to explore in this fandom, and I've even drabbled in Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons that may or may not make its way here.
Please feel free to leave any thoughts you have, and if you have any prompts you'd like to give, I may very well try my hand at the filling them! My tumblr is themetaphorgirl, and I love talking to people over there. :)