Bilbo was uncomfortable, riding along with Gandalf. The bigger fellow already took up a lot of room on the small pony, leaving little for the clinging hobbit. Still, it was better than riding with Thorin at the moment, the mean spirited ass! What would it have hurt the dwarf to say he loved Bilbo? All this nonsense about "the right moment" was hogwash in Bilbo's opinion. He was one very angry hobbit, as he clung to the back of Gandalf, wishing his stubborn ass of a dwarf would just say one simple word to make him happier.
When nightfall came, the group stopped to set up came, the hobbit continued to ignore the kingly Thorin as he placed his bed roll next to Gandalf's instead of the king. And it did not go unnoticed, his actions. Thorin was very loud and very rude as he hollered through out the camp that "Bilbo's in a mood again, boys, be careful! He might snap at you for no good reason!" His stupid statement only made the hobbit more moody, (sort of proving Thorin right), as he ate dinner with the company, getting snippy when he wanted more food and there wasn't any.
He was still a very healthy eater, his stomach growled in hunger as he finished the rest of his portions. Grumpily he went to his bed roll and flopped down, his back turned to anyone watching him as he tried to close his eyes and get some rest.
-0-0-
Thranduil hated traveling, he hated the scenery, he hated the weather, and most of all, he hated the stenches of nature that struck his sensitive nose harshly, making him sneeze constantly as they traveled about. He suffered from sensitive nose syndrome; informally know as SNS. The smallest smell for a dwarf effected him ten times as much, making a lot of everyday things more tiresome for the elfish king.
They were passing by an old camp that had been used by the dwarfs, small things gave away that it had been the dwarfs they were looking for. A few things had been left behind, for instance there was a small looking comb with coarse hair still in it, matching the consistency of dwarfish beard follicles.
Thranduil's group was gaining on the dwarfs, making the king very pleased as he imagined what he'd like to do to Thorin Oakenshield once he got his hands on the little liar! His poor elks death would be avenged! Legolas and Tauriel could wait, it wouldn't be too long now, he'd find those bunch of bearded bastards and give them their just rewards!
"Sire!" A guard hailed the king, Thranduil gave the elf his full attention as the lower class male came before him.
"We've found something disconcerting, my liege." He lifted his hands and showed the superior elf what he had found. It was a very small, very articulate buckle. The kind of buckle you found on elfish bow straps, this was a very surprising thing to find all the way out here!
"Sire, do you think they have captured your son?" He inquired cautiously of his king.
"Legolas? Captured by Thorin Oakenshield? HA! HA HA HA! You're funny! Do you honestly think my son would be subject to capture from those fools? No, perhaps he is following them, but my son is not captured." He took the buckle and kept it on his person. If Legolas was with the traveling company, that would make his quest all the easier. Beat the living hell out of Thorin Oakenshield, and bring back his son all in one trip. Brilliant!
"You are going to pay, Thorin Oakenshield." Thranduil spoke to himself as he nudged his mount onward, his group was going to catch up to them sooner or later, and when they did...
-0-0-
"The hobbit confounds me so, Dwalin!" Thorin complained to his friend as they sat about the camp fire, they were the only ones left awake that evening. Bilbo was still ignoring Thorin, riding with Gandalf instead of the king, making the dwarf very angry.
"What did you fight about this time?" Dwalin asked, use to the couples constant bickering.
"Well, he wanted me to say something, and I wouldn't do it." Thorin gave half an answer, feeling a bit embarrassed to truly admit what word it had been.
"What would have been so hard to say a word? It's not like he asked you to stop eating meat, or bark like a dog for pity's sake!" Dwalin spoke his opinion, finding Thorin's refusal to speak a word a pansy thing to do.
"You don't understand though! It was a very sensitive word." Thorin whispered his sentence, looking around in case anyone was listening in.
"Oh, you mean like nipple or penis?" The dwarf spoke the words with ease, but it made his companion flush and cough awkwardly, looking around to see if anyone had heard his mouthy friend speaking so lewdly.
"No, it wasn't anything like that, it was an emotion." He informed the other, who was chuckling at the kingly dwarfs silly behavior, thinking him a wuss for blushing at the words he had said so very easily.
"Ah, emotion you say? Like lusty weird stuff?" He wiggled his puffy brows at his friend and king, making the dwarf pissy enough to punch his companion in the arm.
"Knock it off, Dwalin. No, we don't say weird stuff like that to one another...he just wanted me to say love. And not just say the word, but to use it in a sentence towards him! And I just...I just panicked! I mean, he was being so damn pushy like he always gets and I was feeling caged, trapped even! So we argued and he got mad enough that he's still not talking to me...What am I suppose to do, Dwalin?" He was in need of good advice, and unfortunately for him he was searching for it from the most insensitive dwarf in their little group.
"Well, practice saying it, if you want to make it up to the little stubborn fellow. Why not try saying it to me? You wouldn't be meaning it, so it might be easier to do it because of that." He offered, the other dwarf looked at him funny for a moment before sighing in defeat.
"Okay, okay, give me a moment." He pleaded, turning to face the dwarf directly, looking into the others face and trying to get his mind settled enough to let him say the silly word.
"I La...I lalala...Iluvyou." He spoke it extremely fast and it came out sort of muffled. Dwalin nodded his head encouragingly, "Again, Thorin."
"I luv...I luv you." He slowed it down, spacing out the words more.
"Getting better, now try picturing me as Bilbo and say it." He waited patiently for Thorin to speak, noticing the other was beginning to sweat oddly, his face having a bit of a twitch to it.
"I..." Thoirn began, taking a deep breath to try and steady his nerves.
-0-0-
Bilbo had been tossing and turning in his sleep, unable to get comfortable so he decided to get up and walk around a little bit. Thinking that maybe if he did it'd help his restlessness. When he started to near the fire, he noticed Dwalin and Thorin were up still, looking deeply into each others eyes. Strange. He moved in closer, noticing Thorin was trying to say something, his lips trembling.
"I love you." Thorin spoke his words to Dwalin, Bilbo's face agape in pure horror at the act, his anger filled to the brim at seeing this scene before him. He started to march determinedly towards Thorin, eyes slit and beady in his irate emotion.
"Bilbo?" Thorin had just noticed the hobbit, he was walking right up to him! He smiled as the hobbit neared, expecting an apology and receiving a very sudden, very sharp punch to the nose.
Thorin gasped and held his face in his hands, feeling blood starting to drip out one nostril. "What in the Hell is wrong with you?!" He growled through his hands, Dwalin sat dumbfounded at the scene before him, watching the hobbit tremble in fury as he gazed at Thorin.
"You can't say it to me, but you'll say it to him?!" Bilbo pointed an accusing finger at Dwalin, making Thoirn realize what the little fellow undoubtedly had seen.
"Bilbo, I was practicing!" Thorin angrily informed his hobbit, taking his hands away from his face and reaching out to grip Bilbo's shoulders, "I was practicing so I could say it to you."
"Ah, sure. Like that's really believable!" Bilbo huffed, crossing his arms and glaring daggers at the king, "Why would you need to practice on anyone? It should be an easy thing to do, Thorin!" He belittled the king, making Thorin feel low.
"It isn't easy for me, because I've never loved anyone before, Bilbo." He honestly answered his hairy footed friend, watching as Bilbo's face turned from angry to surprised.
"Are you...Are you being serious?" He wanted to know, watching as the king nodded his head in yes.
"Thorin, I didn't know." Bilbo was feeling sorry now, losing his anger.
"I want to say it, believe me, and now I think I can. Dwalin, would you mind giving us some privacy?" He called, the dwarf quickly getting up and departing the 'love fest' about to ensue.
"Bilbo Baggins?"
"Yes Thorin?" The hobbit waited patiently this time, looking into the dwarfs eyes longingly.
"I happen to be in love with you. And sometimes you make me very angry, and cause me a great deal of ass ache, but at the end of every day, I still find that my heart still belongs to you. I love you Bilbo Baggins, evil creature inside you and all." He caressed the right side of Bilbo's face, smiling lightly at the now teary eyed Bilbo.
"Oh Thorin!" He cried, hugging the dwarf to him suddenly, holding onto Thorin tightly as he wept silly hobbit tears all over the king's tunic.
"There, there, little one." He patted and rubbed the hobbits back, glad to be over their little spat for the moment and just enjoying this time alone together.
"Has anyone seen a little hobbit anywhere? I believed he wandered away from his bed roll." Gandalf seemed to appear out of no where, surprising the hugging couple as the let go and turned to see him watching with a raised brow.
"Ah, I see. Well then, I guess this means Legolas will be riding with me tomorrow then?" He was answered by a mutual nod from both Thorin and Bilbo.
"Splendid! Well, good night you two." He nodded his head to them before leaving the couple to do as they pleased.
"Bilbo, will you share my bed roll with me tonight?" Thorin looked at his hobbit with questioning eyes.
"As if you even have to ask." Bilbo chuckled, smiling mischievously as they shuffled off to go cuddle.
Bilbo's body had been changing through out the journey, Thorin noticed it more so as he fondled and groped the playful hobbit, slipping off the others shirt to bare witness to the fellows extremely pooched out tummy. He was certainly pregnant looking now, not just fat, but rounded enough that you could tell a child was inside him.
Bilbo took notice of Thorins gaze over his belly, making the fellow feel a bit uneasy, uncertain if the dwarf still found his body appealing. He'd understand if Thorin was grossed out over his current state, Bilbo himself wasn't happy with his current look, thinking himself fat and unattractive.
"I'm sorry I'm not a pretty sight..." Bilbo was apologetic, Thorin shook his head at the hobbit.
"You were never pretty, little girls are called that and you aren't one of those by any means, you're a handsome hobbit in my eyes, Bilbo. No amount of weight or other physical change could stop me from enjoying your body, because it's the inside of you that I fell for." He spoke honestly, making his half naked companion become teary eyed.
"No more tears, little one." Thorin brushed away the few drops that had flowed down the hobbit's cheeks.
Bilbo kissed him, pulling the dwarf to him as close as possible. They kissed and cuddled until sleep took them, the couple resting peacefully with one another, Bilbo's head resting against the dwarf kings chest, listening to the beating of his heart as he slept.
-0-0-
"Oh my Ahhhhhh!" Bilbo woke up screaming, waking Thorin and the rest of the camp with his cry of pain.
"Bilbo!" Thorin spoke his hobbit's name, watching worriedly as the fellow held his stomach in agony, screaming bloody murder at the intense pain he was experiencing.
This bout of pain was lasting longer than usual, the wizard took notice of this fact as well, striding over and placing his hand above Bilbo's stomach.
"It's growing restless, we must hurry to the Lady Galadriel! We are close enough that if we hurry, we might make it there before this beast tries to escape from its nest."
"What do you mean, escape? I thought we had more time!" Thorin raged, feeling vulnerable in his fear for Bilbo's life.
"As did I, but it seems this thing has grown faster than expected. If it's not magically dealt with soon, it will make its escape." Gandalf nodded knowingly, "It will either claw it's way out of Bilbo's stomach, or worse..."
"Worse?" Fili piped in, the whole company now surrounding the hobbit and Thorin, watching as Bilbo rolled about in his misery.
"Yes, worse. It might try to come out another way, and lets just say if Bilbo does survive that scenario, he won't be pooping normally ever again." Gandalf's words were met with a bunch of "ohhs" and "ewws".
"I've seen some herbs growing near by that might help ease his pain." Tauriel offered her services, getting a look of disbelief from Legolas.
"That's a great idea!" Kili patted his lass on the shoulder, going with her to go find the herb.
"Make haste! We should be leaving soon and try to get poor Bilbo to the Lady of Light, only her powers can truly make the hobbit well again." Gandalf urged the youths running off, looking now towards Thorin.
"Thorin, once we get there, can you promise me that you won't be rude to the elves? If you are, they may not choose to help us." He warned the ornery dwarf king.
"I will bite back any mean comments that may come to mind, so long as they save Bilbo." Thorin watched his hobbit as the pain started to dwindle, the fellow was screaming less, his breaths coming out in pants as he sweated from the pain.
"It will be alright, Bilbo." Thorin cooed to his friend, wishing for the millionth time that he could help the hobbit himself, and not have to rely on someone else to heal his beloved master Baggins.
-0-0-
The Hobbit belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien
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A/N: So, thanks again to the reviewers on here! It makes my day reading your comments! We're getting to our Lady of Light sooner rather than later, she's going to be a very fun character to write. When do you think the Mirkwood kin will finally catch up to the group? Will he be merciful, or will his anger be ruthless and filled with blood lust? Who can say.