Harley and Ivy Chapter 12
Alfred with a raised eyebrow watched Robin and Batgirl as they stood sheepishly in front of him. "So let me get this straight. Harley took the tracking device and…"
"Stuck it in the middle of a wad of gum and stuck it on the bumper of a bus headed to Metropolis." Batgirl repeated her earlier statement."
"So in essence…" Alfred continued.
"We fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book." Robin with a scowl folded his arms across his chest.
"How were we suppose to know?" Batgirl replied defensively. "All we knew was the tracker showed us that Harley and Ivy were headed towards Metropolis. Considering they just made a major theft is it so far fetched that they would head to Metropolis to fence the stolen power core?"
Alfred nodded his head. "You did quite right. It was a reasonable conclusion."
All three looked up as the Batmobile with a squeal of tires pulled in to its customary parking spot on a lower platform in the Batcave. Walking over to the railing they looked down as the driver's compartment opened and Batman climbed out. From the angry way he leapt out and looked up at them, they could tell he didn't have any better news than they did.
"No luck sir?" Alfred ventured being braver or more accustomed to Batman's moments of frustration than Robin or Batgirl.
"Plenty of luck if I was looking for The Joker. I run into him everywhere I've tried but he managed to escape every time." Batman replied as he made his ways to the stairs to join them on the higher platform.
"So it would appear that The Joker has no clue where Harley and Ivy are either?" Alfred continued as Batman reached them.
Batman just nodded.
"At the risk of overstepping my position sir, may I once again suggest that Harley stole the power core in seeking a power source so she may rebuild the Joker's dimensional device to escape with Ivy to this Lord Tenchi person's world rather than planning to fence the device for some quick cash?"
Batman shook his head. "Harley would need access to the same type of equipment Joker used last time. There are no indications of thefts of that type."
Batgirl wandered over to the Batcomputer and typed in some queries just to confirm Batman was right. It was true there were no reported thefts of high tech electronics equipment lately but something else caught her eye. "Would Harley need that ugly laughing clown thing we found in the warehouse along with all the other electronic equipment?"
Batman nodded his head. "The laughter sound effect circuits in it were a vital part of the sonic nature of Joker's weapon and subsequently the portal generator it turned into."
Batgirl gestured to the large monitor and pressing a few buttons she had the information she was viewing on a smaller view screen put up there. On the screen was a report from the Gotham Police department about the breaking into of the Evidence lockup and the theft of only one thing. The amusement park laughing clown.
"But I checked the warehouse Joker used that night and found nothing." Batman replied as he began to rapidly type at the computer console. "It was one of the places today where I ran into the Joker at."
"Implying I would think that the Joker also believes that Harley is trying to escape his grasp by fleeing this world." Alfred pointed out.
Batman sitting at the computer console suddenly sat back. "It would seem that you are right Alfred." He pointed at the screen that was showing a listing of the components needed to build the sonic device and right next to it was a listing of recent purchases all over Gotham that matched it.
Batgirl studied the list. "But some of these items were bought on opposite sides of town at almost the same moment. There is no way with even Ivy's help that Harley could manage to be in this many places at the same time. And the police report about the stolen amusement clown says it occurred at almost the exact same time you were confronting Harley, Ivy and Catwoman over the power core last night."
"So she had some help?" Robin asked as he leaned against the console.
"Who? Joker's henchmen wouldn't listen to Harley and Ivy has always been a solo act, outside of her plant creations she never uses help. So who could Harley get to legally purchase the equipment she needed and to steal the laughing clown?" Batgirl asked.
"There is only one person in Gotham who would dare to cross the Joker by helping Harley for the right amount of money. The Penguin. I think it is time I see a bird about some ladies." Batman replied getting up from the chair and heading back down to the Batmobile.
As Alfred, Batgirl and Robin watched the Batmobile speed away, Robin turned to Batgirl. "At least he didn't ask what happened with our tracking Harley and Ivy last night."
"I would imagine that he concluded you were unsuccessful when no reports of their arrests or positive reports came from you when he came back." Alfred replied as he start to return to his duties.
"You know there is just one thing that bothers me about the whole 'Harley is trying to rebuild the dimensional portal to escape Joker' thing." Batgirl said.
Alfred turned back to look at her. "And what would that be?"
"The Joker built the device in the first place. Couldn't he just recreate it like Harley and chase after her if she does manage to escape?"
Neither Alfred nor Robin had an answer to that.
Ivy watched as Harley worked feverishly to finish the strange device she was building. The ugly mechanical laughing clown was on a slight pedestal in the middle of the warehouse and cables lead away from it to three computer consoles grouped around it.
Harley suddenly pulled her head out from a access panel in the side of one of the consoles and looked like she was about to cry.
"What is it Harl? Can't you remember how it all goes together?" Ivy asked in concern.
"I remember. Its that I just realized that if we escape through the portal there will be no one here to shut it down and destroy it so Mr. J. won't be able to follow us through. I was so anxious to escape I didn't think of that part." Harley explained. Her face went from shock at the realization to one of heartbreak before firming into one of resolve.
"There is no other way. Once I get the portal open, I will go through and find Tenchi, explain who you are and ask him if you can stay with him. Then I shall return through the portal and you will go through and I will stay here to shut the portal down and destroy the equipment." Harley was speaking quietly to herself but Ivy could hear her plainly. Harley's look of resolve didn't change but her eyes did widened as she thought what the Joker would do to her once he caught her after Ivy was gone.
Ivy reached down and roughly pulled Harley to her feet. "Are you out of your mind? I'm not leaving you here to face that maniac. We either go together to this new world of yours or we both stay here!
"But the portal has to be destroyed after we leave or Mr. J. will just follow us!" Harley began to argue.
"Then our friend here can do it." Ivy said reaching out and caressing a branch of the tree that had almost grown to fill the entire warehouse with its roots, branches and tendrils.
Harley's face lit up with hope but almost immediately filled with doubt again. "Can he do it?"
"Of course. I will give him the instructions that as soon as we are gone to trash everything in this room. After our plant baby is done there won't be enough left for them to even figure out what it was."
Harley didn't look entirely convinced but nodded her head anyway. "Then I'll finish the last connections. We should be ready to leave in about another hour I would say."
Harley started to climb back into the computer console but was stopped by Ivy. "I've been meaning to ask you. If Joker created this thing in the first place, why won't he just build another one and come after us at a later date?"
Harley looked around even though it was just the two of them in the warehouse, well three if you counted the now mutated tree. "Mr. J. has a little secret that no one knows. Not even Batman. You see Mr. J. can be brilliant at times with his inventions and death traps but…" Harley paused as if afraid to betray the Joker's confidence but then remembering that he was doing his level best to kill her and Ivy she shrugged her shoulders. "He has no memory. He sometimes can't even remember what gags or jokes he has pulled. Oh he can always remember how to make his Joker Venom that makes people laugh to death or where his lairs are but that's about it."
Ivy's eyes widened in realization. "That is why he insist that you practice your memorization so much!"
Harley nodded her head. "Yep. Mr. J. would come up with these grand plans or inventions, show the plans to me and it wasn't uncommon half way through the project for him to turn to me and demand that I repeat the plans exactly. The henchmen always thought it was just another way for Mr. J. to torture me but really it was just that Mr. J. had forgotten what he was doing and needed me to remind him."
Ivy allowed a thin smile to appear on her face. "The Master of Mirth and Mayhem and he needed his sidekick to keep him on track?" The smile disappeared. "No wonder he is trying so hard to destroy you Harley! Not only do you know all his strengths but you know all his weaknesses too. If it got out that Joker can't even remember the things he himself invented, he would be the laughing stock of the underworld of Gotham."
Penguin grunted in annoyance. Being a 'night owl' he preferred to sleep during the day and wake up only a few hours before his night club opened for patrons at dark. Today however his peaceful sleep was disturbed by the constant buzzing of the under pier secret entrance. Someone was seeking an audience with him and wasn't taking no for an answer.
Penguin grunted and grumbled as he made his way from his bedroom in the night club to his office. The grunting and grumbling suspiciously sounded like the waa waa of his beloved penguins. He was clad in a pair of pajamas embroidered with, what else? Penguins and on his head was a shiny black top hat. While he maybe in a hurry to answer his door and not take time to dress properly, the Penguin wasn't about to be ungentlemanly enough to not have the proper headgear.
"Whoever is ringing that blasted bell better be prepare for a cold bath because I'm hitting the 'dump' button when I get there." Penguin muttered to himself.
Reaching his desk, the Penguin angrily hit the switches to turn on the hidden camera that overlooked the secret entrance. The image on the screen was indistinct as the lighting under the pier was gloomy at best. This in itself wasn't too suspicious. While the Penguin maintained the lights, it wasn't uncommon for them to burn out or short out from the moisture there.
Penguin peered at the monitor, his finger poised over the 'dump' button. He could barely make out the image of a blond woman standing at the door. She appeared to have her mouth open as if breathing hard or maybe in fear that the Penguin was going to do just what he was about to. She was wearing a long trench coat but still it hinted at her having a shapely figure underneath.
Penguin's first thought was that it was Harley out of costume returning to purchase more equipment so with only a few more moments of consideration he finally moved his finger from the 'dump' button to the 'open the door' button and pressed it. Sitting down at his desk he waited to find out who it was.
The door to the corridor leading to the secret door finally opened and Penguin found himself facing…
A blow up doll, the kind they sell in cheap sex shops.
Penguin started to make a dive across the room to where some of his tricked out umbrellas were hanging on the wall but was stopped as a playing card whizzed through the air impaling itself on the edge of his desk in front of him. Penguin didn't even have to look at it to know what card it must be.
The Joker card.
The Batmobile pulled to a stop outside of the night club, The Penguin's Place. Batman climbed out of the driver's compartment and took a moment to look around. He would have preferred to arrive after dark but something told him there was urgency in finding Harley and Ivy.
That and his best bet to have a private conversation with Penguin was before the club filled with patrons and it was still about an hour before the club opened.
Pressing a button on his utility belt Batman caused the Batmobile to engage its chameleon circuit and the car suddenly appeared to be nothing more than a stack of boxes at the side of the dock.
Locating the secret entrance under the pier to the club was mere child's play for Batman and within moments Batman was standing in front of the door leading to Penguin's inner sanctum.
Quickly disabling the cameras, Batman then used a micro laser to cut the locking mechanism from the door and silently entered Penguin's lair.
As Batman entered Penguin's private office the sight that met him would have been enough to sicken the strongest man.
The office was in shambles. Penguin's prized collection of umbrellas were lying on the floor twisted and mangled. A deflated blow up doll that caused Batman's eyebrow to rise slightly was lying across the guest chair.
Penguin himself was sitting at his office chair. Multiple cuts and bruises were across his face. His monocle that he favored was sitting on office desk smashed into almost dust. Proof that Penguin's last guest had not been a friendly one but it was the ghastly smile stretched across Penguin's face that proclaimed louder than any words could who exactly that guest had been.
Racing to Penguin's side, Batman quickly checked for life signs and was relieved to find faint traces. Pulling a vial of Anti-Joker venom Batman quickly injected Penguin with the cure. If he had caught it in time Penguin would live.
After calling a ambulance, Batman continued to watch Penguin. Suddenly Penguin's left eye twitched and with a gasp he took in a mighty breath of air and began coughing.
"Where did he go Penguin?" Batman asked.
Penguin still gasping and rubbing at his aching face merely glared at Batman. While there was no 'honor' among thieves in Gotham but it was considered in poor taste to assist the police and certainly never the Batman. But Batman had just saved him from death and remembering the macabre jokes that the Joker had used about what he was going to do to Harley when he caught her convinced Penguin to make an exception just this one time.
"He said he was going after his wayward protégée."
"Where!" Batman growled.
"How would I know where the criminal element go? I'm just a honest night club owner…"
Batman slammed his armored fist down on Penguin's desk. "Where!"
Penguin with a shaky hand pulled a scrap of paper off of his desk and wrote an address down on it.
They both could hear the sounds of the emergency crew making their way down through the night club.
"Let them take you to the hospital Penguin. Joker's Venom if caught quick enough generally leaves no permanent damage to the body but it pays to be safe than sorry." Batman turned to leave. "Oh and law abiding club owners generally don't need secret entrances to their clubs. I trust this one will be deactivated and torn down as soon as you are well enough to see to it?"
Without waiting for an answer Batman strode out.
Reaching the disguised Batmobile, Batman quickly deactivated the camouflage and leapt in. Joker venom acted swiftly on a person inducing death in a relatively short time so since he was able to save the Penguin that meant the Joker only had a very thin head start over him.
Driving down a street of Gotham that was directly between the Penguin's Place and the warehouse whose address Penguin had given him, Batman spotted something in the road ahead of the Batmobile. It appeared to be a little baby wrapped in a blanket.
Screeching to a halt Batman used the sensors in the Batmobile to scan the object before getting out. The bundle in the road registered 99.7 degrees, within human range. Recently some of the poorer and more criminally minded citizens of Gotham had taken to a new grotesque form of robbery and/or extortion. They would put their babies in the streets and when someone stopped they would leap out to rob them. Or if the car couldn't stop fast enough, they would take pictures of the car and license plates and later contact the person about running over their babies and threaten to go to the cops if they didn't pay up.
Leaping out of the Batmobile, Batman with a sigh walked over to the bundle. It was vital he got to Harley and Ivy before the Joker did but there was no way he would leave a baby in the street! He would first run the baby to the nearest hospital and contact the police so they could investigate and put away the family that would stoop so low as to endanger a child.
Picking up the bundle, Batman pulled away the blanket covering it and found himself looking at a baby doll.
"Goo goo. Batman is a poo poo head." The doll cooed. Batman could see that the doll had wrapped around it those chemical heating pads that athletes use. Throwing the doll away from him, Batman spun on his heel and tried to make it back to the Batmobile.
Instantly there were twin explosions from either side of the street and steel mesh nets trailing heavy cables flew across the empty space and double wrapped Batman in a cocoon. Instantly high voltage electric shocks slammed into Batman driving him to his knees.
"Well looky here boys. We've got us an old fashion Bat barbecue!" The Joker's voice with an atrocious mock Texan accent rang out.
Through the pain of the electric shocks Batman could see Joker and a half dozen of his henchmen coming out of the shadows and surrounding him.
"I would love to stay here long enough to see you fully cooked Batman but I've got a couple of ladies waiting for me to show up, they just don't know it yet. And you know the Joker doesn't keep the ladies waiting so I have to run. Maybe we'll come back later for a few Cajun blackened style batwings?"
Joker's hideous cackling laugh rang out. "You'll notice the power surges are coming more and more frequently and gaining in strength, you'll be a crispy critter in no time Batsy." The Joker laughed one more time and then turning with a maniacal gleam in his eyes he strode off.
Through the pain Batman heard cars in a side alley roar into life and then silence as they drove off. Batman wondered briefly why no one in the houses to either side of the street didn't come out to help him but then thinking of the area he was in, he figured they were probably videotaping it from the safety of their homes to offer it on Gotham's Gruesome Video TV show rather than call the police or offer help.
Inside the Batmobile the computer console flared into life as the sensors built into the Batsuit started showing erratic and dangerous signs. A holographic image of Batman in the street showed on the console monitor and shifted as the computer analyzed the danger to Batman. A glowing line traced the cables from the nets to the houses they were connected to and thusly to the electrical network that powered Gotham.
Twin lasers mounted just beneath the headlights on the front of the Batmobile extended and taking aim fired severing the cables. From start to finish the whole action took only several moments. The Batmobile then pulled forward till it was inches away from the unconscious Batman as if a mother hen watching over it's fallen chick. The Batmobile then sent a signal and video relay to the Batcave to notify Alfred and the others that Batman was now down.
Catwoman leapt from roof top to roof top in the abandoned warehouse district of Gotham. A bag at her side let out a soft mew from a solitary kitten. Of all the hoards of cats Catwoman once had, this tiny kitten was all she had left. After failing to obtain the power core, Catwoman had decided to just steal all her cats back and found to her shock that they were gone. The Gotham S.P.C.A. instead of holding her cats at their normal locations, had shipped them all over the country. The chances of regaining her cat 'family' were now next to nothing.
Stopping for a moment to get her bearings, Catwoman wheezed and gasped at the foul air of Gotham. Realizing that even if she could recover all her cats the chances they would be able to survive in Gotham much longer was also next to nothing. Catwoman using her meager hacking skills broke into the Gotham police records to find out if Harley had been telling the truth about a dimensional portal. To her surprise she found records supporting the clown wannabes assurances.
The records stated which warehouse the Joker had used and reports from Batman on what had happened. Catwoman knew Harley played the fool but was in no way stupid so she didn't even bother to check that warehouse. She knew Harley would never use some place the Joker had used and knew about but at the same time she felt that Harley wouldn't create her dimensional portal too far away either. The chances that it might mess something up dimensionally wise was too great.
So Catwoman was systematically checking all the warehouses radiating out from the one the Joker had used. It was only a matter of time before she found Harley and Ivy.
Catwoman finally managing to catch her breath walked to the edge of the building she was standing on and examined her surroundings. Gotham's sunset had been smothered behind a cloud of smog and light was now fading fast.
"It's getting dark Delilah." Catwoman said to the kitten in the bag at her side. A black kitten stuck it's head out of the bag to look up at her. "If we don't find them soon they may leave this world and we'll be left behind. Just have to keep my eyes open for anything unusual."
A meow caused Catwoman to glance down at the kitten and then to look in the direction the cat was staring at.
All she could see was yet another broken down warehouse. Just like the dozen or so she had already checked out. Narrowing her eyes she noticed this one had something the other warehouses had lacked though. A tree in front growing sideways through the wall of the warehouse. "Good catch Delilah. When trees in Gotham are acting weird it is a safe bet Poison Ivy is nearby."
Lashing out her whip Catwoman caught a defunct lamp post below her and swung down in the direction of the warehouse.
A nearly exhausted Harley pulled her head out of the last console and looked around the warehouse for Ivy. The mutated tree had branches over her and was holding several flashlights in its branches providing light for the young woman to work by.
"It's done." Harley called out.
Ivy stepped out of the shadows and tossed an apple to Harley. "Here eat something. You are about to drop."
Harley caught the apple and stared at it for a moment before looking up at the tree above her. "I thought our tree was an oak tree? How did you get apples from it?"
"I can make plants do anything I want to Harley." Ivy said with a faint grin.
Harley shot a skeptical look in her direction. "Okay, so I can't make them change their species, at least not without a fully equipped laboratory." Ivy admitted with a shrug. "I snuck out and raided a small market while you were working."
Harley felt a tiny thrill of fear ran down her spine at the thought of her being alone and so engrossed in her work she didn't even notice Ivy had left and come back. A tendril from the tree above her came down and caressed her face lightly as if assuring her that the tree would have protected her if anyone had come in.
"Well…" Harley stated as she bit into the apple and then made a face, the apple was nearly tasteless, almost like wax fruit. Then again almost all of the fruits and vegetables were that way any more. "We are ready to leave any time we want to. The portal generator is finished." She finished as she chewed.
"Then I made it just in time…"
Harley leapt back against the console as if to protect it with her life as the voice came from the darkness of the warehouse. Sounds of a scuffle were heard and a few moments later Catwoman was dragged into the light provided by the flashlights. Her hands were firmly caught in the branches of the mutant tree.
"Damn it Cats! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were Mr. J. or Batman!" Harley said holding a hand to her chest.
"Well it doesn't matter who it is." Ivy said. "Since she is toast anyway."
Ivy looked up at the tree that crowded the space above them all. "Rip her apart baby."
Harley's eyes wide in horror reached out and grabbed the tendril that had so recently caressed her face. "NO don't!" She yelled at the tree.
The branches holding Catwoman's arms shuddered as the simple plant tried to figure out which of its mistresses orders to follow.
"Harley! We can't let her leave here alive. And she certainly can't go with us! You said it yourself. We can't transport all her damn cats to Tenchi's world!" Ivy yelled at Harley.
"I only have one cat left." Catwoman's voice said sadly. "Delilah. Gotham has taken everything else away from me."
The bag hanging at her side stirred and the tiny black kitten stuck its head out to blink in Harley's direction.
Harley's eyes grew large as she stared at the kitten. "She's adorable." She cooed at the kitten and walked over to where Catwoman was hanging in the braches of the tree.
Ivy rolled her eyes. "You are not falling for this are…" She stopped as the tree holding Catwoman released her as Harley placed a hand directly on one of the branches and gave a silent mental command to the plant.
"Of course you are." Ivy finished folding her arms angrily over her chest.
Harley walked over to her. "Don't be that way Red. We women have to stick together and we need to go soon if we are going. As you pointed out earlier today, Batman or Mr. J. is going to find this place sooner or later and if Cats found us this easy…"
Ivy waved off Harley and nodded her head. "So how does this thing work?" She asked walking over to one of the consoles.
Harley hoping that Ivy had forgiven her completely walked over to the power core and flipped it on, listening as a nearly silent whine came from the black box. She then went to the proper console and threw a switch. "Like this!" Harley paused for a moment as nothing immediately happened. "I hope." She said under her breath.
A high buzzing noise filled the warehouse and a few seconds later a black circle appeared floating in the air. The blackness of the hole was so deep and utterly black it showed up clearly in the gloom of the warehouse.
"How do we get up to it?" Catwoman asked walking nearer to the floating void.
"Wait for it." Harley replied. "It did this the last time too."
Suddenly the black circle fell from the sky and landing on the floor and started sparking.
Harley her mouth suddenly dry in fear looked over at Ivy. "You sure you don't want me to test it first?"
"We go together or not at all." Ivy replied firmly and she drew Harley into her arms. Looking up at the tree she commanded. "As soon as we are gone baby you are to destroy everything in this warehouse. Don't leave anything standing!"
Catwoman walked over next to the couple. "Here we go Delilah. To a cleaner and better place." Under her breath she said. "I hope."
The three women looked at each other and with a final nod, they hopped into the black hole on the ground.