Ok So I'm really sorry about not updating this, I was just so heartbroken for a while after 3x22 I just couldn't bring myself to keep writing it. But 4x03 has given me hope and that lead to this chapter.

I'm going to keep going in a different direction than what the show has played out, I hope you're all ok with that.

xoxo

Chapter 5

Robin POV

It's a strange sensation, holding the her hand, being near her.

On one side, I am absolutely gleeful that she has permitted me to hold her, on the other, I am still paralyzed with a crushing fear that I will never see my son again.

I should feel guilty about feeling this way, but I can't quite bring myself to.

She's too magnetic.

So instead of dealing with my feelings, I concentrate on the one thing I am an expert on… Hunting.

Only I have no idea who or what actually took my son. I really should have thought this through more.

Now I'm dragging Snow White, Prince Charming and the Evil Queen through Sherwood forest with not the slightest clue as of where I need to be headed.

I just needed to do something. Maybe Snow was right. Maybe I am blinded by my grief.

But right now I can't think about that, I just walk, and she is holding my hand and I am holding hers and we are supporting eachother.

I know that if I said that to her she'd whip her hand out of mine so fast, but that's what we're doing, even if it is by accident.

So we keep walking, and walking and walking, in silence.

I hear Snow and Charming's little whispers behind us every so often and I know they are talking about us but I don't care.

Then I realize it's dark and we've ended up back to a place I swore I would never return to.

My old house. The house Marian died in. Shit, this is where my subconscious brought me.

I try to contain the wave of nostalgia and grief that sweeps over me as we get closer.

"What's this?" I hear Regina whisper as I finally let go of our hands.

I step closer and look at how the vines and trees and hedges have overgrown and begun swallowing up the house.

It was just a small cottage, but it was home.

I pull the key from the necklace it was attached to, surprised that I still reached for it as easily as I did 5 years ago.

I blink and I'm frozen before the door, my hands inadvertently sliding up the smooth oak door that I had cut and carved myself for… no I mustn't go there, not now.

I unlock the door and let everyone inside, everything is exactly the same. It's untouched in every way, like I've stepped back in time.

"Well, Robin?" I hear Regina encourage me.

"This is where Roland was born and where my… where she…" I can't finish the sentence.

I know in my heart that I have put Marian to rest, but there will always be a part of me that she has taken with her, gone forever.

and being back here, it just feels so fresh again. It will just take time I convince myself.

I start to brush away cobwebs and light candles to bring the old house back to life all the while internally having a panic attack.

My son is missing. I know that I know this, and it's really not a surprise anymore, but I still expect to see him bound through the door any moment now smiling and laughing.

When most of the dirt is swept away and blankets and provisions are shared we all agree to get some shut eye before we really start to dig deep in our search.

I give the charmings my old bed, because I mostly can't bear to be in it after all these years so Regina and I were left to find solace on the mats we piled near the hearth of the fire.

As I settle down on my mat weary and droopy eyed, I notice Regina shuffle out from the closet where I gave both her and Snow permission to forage for some suitable change of clothes.

It was strange to see her in my dead wife's night dress. It brought very mixed emotions to the forefront of my mind.

On the one hand, I see that night dress and am reminded of Marian and all her goodness and kindness and am filled with a sense of wistful regret.

On the other hand, I see Regina in that dress and am filled with a guilty pleasure for finally seeing her in something a little less regal and a little more soft and gentle.

She looks younger now, in a plain dress, the muted colours of the dress really allow her beauty to shine and the added glow of the fire on her skin proves to be a heady aphrodisiac.

I feel good and terrible all at the same time. I should be guilty for thinking these things because of my wife, I should not be feeling these things because I should be out looking for my son.

But one look at her and none of that really matters for that one moment. Because in that moment, I feel serenely calm.

As if her very presence is enough to ease whatever I am feeling.

"We can stay here for the night, or it can be our base of operations until we formulate a plan." I finally say.

"I'm going to go for a walk" I conclude and begin to make for the door, "and yes I will come back". I say as an answer to the question I know was inevitably going to come from Snow or David.

I breathe the fresh air outside my house and I realize I feel more at home out in the open than four walls ever gave me.

Looking left or right to decide my direction, I hear the door swing shut again and am pleasantly surprised to see Regina's face.

"You look like I looked when I first got here, and if you feel any of the the things I felt when I looked that way, then I think you shouldn't be alone right now" she said simply.

I gave her a soft smile, even though, I would have prefered to be alone. I don't really want her to see my break down. Somehow though, she's become a soothing balm to my wounds and I don't want ot let that break just yet.

So I offer her my arm and she slides her through it and we begin to walk along the leaf littered moonlit path towards the well I'd dug many years before.

She's mostly quiet, a welcome silence that is neither cold or awkward. She's letting me feel without crowding me, and it's exactly what I needed.

Our pace is slow and she is so close, it allows me to really look at her. She seems so much smaller without all the glittering dresses and severe eye make up. She looks softer and warmer.

She still carries herself like a queen, walking with her back straight and her chin slighty up, a trait no doubt brought about from years of teaching and practice.

I want to tell her how beautiful she looks in right now with her down, long and wavy doused in moonlight. I want to tell her she seems to be exactly the soul I've been searching for, for what seems like forever, but I feel like that would scare her off.

Say something, you idiot! my mind going in circles trying to conjure up something to talk about that is neither my son or my attraction to her. It is much harder than it should be.

Regina beats me to it.

"I know you feel like the world is crushing down on you right now, but believe me when I say I will do everything in my power to help you get your son back, it will just take a little time before we can figure out a plan, and I know it's killing you to wait, but trust me when I say the more organized and thought out a rescue plan is, the more successful it usually turns out"

She lets out a big sigh, as if she'd been formulating what she'd just said in her mind for a while.

I squeeze her arm in recognition and try to think of an appropriate response.

"Thank you Regina, I appreciate that more than you know. And I do know that we will find him, it's just the agony of losing him is still so fresh and I just don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling right now."

I'm surprised at my own response, or at least the forthcomingness and honesty of it. She's breaking my walls down bit by bit, and she doesn't even know it. Shit…This is escalating waaaay faster than I thought…. Shit.

Regina is thrown by what I've told her, its evident on her face, but then she turns her head and looks onto my eyes and gives me a smile that stops my heart for second. Double Shit.

We keep walking until we arrive at the well. I offer her a drink and she accepts and that's how I end up bent over a bucket trying to pull up some water.

She laughs a little at my struggles and I begin to laugh too. It seems that the bucket is stuck adn tehre will be no water to be drank after all.

She gives me a wicked grin then waves her hands. In them appear two glasses and a bottle of amber liquid that I suspect is probably a rum or whiskey of some sort.

"You want to have a drink, now?" I question.

"Well, in the past few days you've fought vicious monkeys, saved my life, lost your son and have begun a rescue mission…. I think we've earned it" she smirks.

"Yes, quite" I respond.

She pours us both glasses and we down them both in one gulp. I feel the burn down my throat and it warms me instantly.

After, several more rounds, Regina and I are sitting on the ground, leaning against the well, very slightly intoxicated.

I myself feel a buzz and a warmness in my bones that I suspect is entirely because of her proximity.

She is way too close, and it feels dangerous. Dangerous because of how much I want to kiss her. Dangerous because of how beautiful she looks right now.

Regina seems to be doing no better, he head is resting on the well behind us lolling too and fro like a very tired child.

"I don't think we should've done this" she slightly slurs. Her head turning to me her eyes glazed over and wide.

"I can't be drunk and this close to you...bad combination" she says then her eyes go wide and she brings her hands over her mouth and I just about fall over myself from the revelation.

She was fighting it just as much as I was.

I reach for the hands covering her mouth and before I get a word in edgewise. She disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.

fuck, I'm in it now.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas if you have a second!