Harley and Ivy
Chapter 16
Batgirl nervously tapped on the large glass tube that a nearly naked Batman floated in, or should it be Bruce Wayne since he was not in costume at the moment? Batgirl was never quite sure which one to think of him as but since at the moment he was only covered in a black swimming trunk she preferred to think of him at this moment as Bruce Wayne. Seeing Batman in such a vulnerable light just made her feel nauseous.
"Are you sure he's okay?" She asked Alfred for about the hundredth time.
Alfred in perfect butler style was carefully preparing the damaged batsuit Batman had been wearing for destruction while laying out a new batsuit for when Bruce awoke from the treatment he was getting at that moment. "He's perfectly fine in there. As you can see he has a mask supplying him with breathable air while the highly oxygenated fluid he is immersed in helps to heal the damage that was done to him." Looking up from where he was working on a lower tier of the batcave he spotted batgirl tapping on the glass yet again. "Will you please stop that young lady? Did your parents never tell you not to tap on an aquarium? The fluid inside will magnify that noise you are doing and Master Bruce will wake with an even bigger headache that he probably has already."
Batgirl had the decency to jump back a little from the tube with a guilty look on her face. "Oops?"
Robin who was no less worried about Batman that Batgirl had been shook his head at her. "Batman almost did end up as fried batfish if the Joker's latest deathtrap hadn't failed. Thank heavens."
Alfred having finished with the costume preparation was walking back up to the higher level and paused next to the batmobile. "No need to thank the heavens Master Dick, thank the batmobile and its marvelous programming." Taking a cloth from his pocket Alfred wiped off an invisible speck of dust from its hood.
Batgirl allowed a brief grin to cross her face as mused that it seemed at times that Alfred lavished more attention of the batcave and its equipment than he did on the human occupants. If she were to mention such a thing she was sure the butler would either deny it or state the equipment needed looking after more as the human occupants could take care of themselves.
Her brief grin faded as Alfred climbed the stairs and joined her at the glass tube to look in on Bruce floating there. "Do you think the Joker has gotten his hands on Ivy and Harley yet?" She asked.
Robin leapt off the piece of equipment he had been lounging on and joined them. "I really can't understand why you are so concerned over those two. They are criminals you know?"
Batgirl glanced at him and then back to the glass tube. "Maybe but no one deserves what the Joker might do to them. Someone like Penguin or Riddler or even Mr. Freeze might harm someone, they might even go as far as kill someone but what the Joker might do? No one deserves that."
Robin reluctantly nodded his head. "But unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. Batman was the only one to find out where Harley and Ivy might have gone to build that portal thing and without that knowledge we would be just on a wild goose chase looking for them."
"We could go to the hospital and ask Penguin what he told Batman?" Batgirl hopefully offered.
Robin gave a snort. "Doubtful he will talk to us. Batman has that whole intimidation thing going for him. I doubt Penguin would be all that frightened of us."
"Besides, Penguin is recuperating from the Joker venom. Even having been given the cure it is likely the hospital has him on sedatives. That blasted toxin the Joker uses puts a horrendous strain on the human body."
Batgirl in frustration turned from the glass tube and stalked over to a computer terminal. "I hate just waiting like this for Bruce to wake up. There is no telling how long it will take and every second is just that much longer the Joker might have torturing Harley or Ivy or maybe someone innocent. Batman wouldn't want us to waste time like this!"
Robin shrugged. "Maybe so but what would Batman do if things were reversed and one of us had information and was inside that thing and he couldn't ask us?"
Batgirl stared at the computer console in front of her. "What would Batman being doing at this moment?" She asked herself. "Is it possible someway to locate the energy the portal is using?" She asked out loud.
Robin looked thoughtful but then shook his head. "If they are using the power generator to power a portal it won't show up as a drain on the power grid." He pointed out.
Batgirl folded her arms in annoyance. "Okay, how about this then? Do we know how the portal thing worked in the first place?"
Alfred who had come up behind the two young people found himself getting interested in the puzzle as well. "Master Bruce compiled notes on the device before he allowed the police to remove it. We know what components were used in its makeup and how they went together if not the science on what allowed the machine to open a doorway to another dimension."
Batgirl smiled as her hands flew over a keyboard of the massive Batcomputer. "Okay then. Perhaps we can find something traceable we can follow to its source."
"Don't you think Batman tried that before going to Penguin to find out where the items his group stole were sent to?" Robin stated as he rolled his eyes at Batgirl and folded his arms in the same manner she had done a moment before.
Batgirl studied the diagrams on a screen before her. "Why this part is something I have never understood." She said pointing at the oversized rocking laughing carnival clown device. "I mean doesn't it just play a tape of annoying laughing and move?"
Alfred studied the screen. He was more than just a butler and in his service to Wayne/Batman he had picked up a great deal of engineering and electronic knowledge. "No, this device doesn't play a tape for the laughing sound effects but generated them via sound chips." Alfred sniffed delicately. "They can't make a decent automated coffee maker but they spend all the time and resources to make a trinket that can fake human laughter via sonics."
"That's it!" Batgirl yelled in triumphant as her fingers flew over the keyboard once again. Scrolling across the large central screen were reports of dogs howling and car alarms going off in certain parts of the city. Hitting a few more keys Batgirl turned the text reports into a map with the incidents and the times they were called in shown. Concentric rings appeared on the map radiating out from the warehouse district.
"Well yeah we suspected it is somewhere in there but where exactly?" Robin asked. "That's still a lot of ground to cover."
"But if the dogs can hear it…" Batgirl started.
"Then the instruments on our Batcycle can pick it up. Considering if Joker has done something stupid like leaving it on for us to trace." Robin agreed.
The two young crime fighters leapt to some nearby poles and slid down to the garage part of the batcave and raced off on their motorcycles.
"Oh dear." Alfred muttered. "I do hope they are ready to face the Joker and his henchmen without Batman with them."
A small car pulled up outside Tenchi's house and a few seconds later the doors opened to reveal Tenchi's father Nobuyuki, who had been driving and out of the passenger side his grandfather, Katsuhito and from the back seat, bracing himself for impact, Tenchi.
After a few moments of standing with his eyes closed tightly, Tenchi realized that no Ryoko had glomped onto him and there was no Mihoshi crashing into him or even a polite Ayeka to welcome him home. This was unusual to say the least. There was always someone watching for his return so they could be the first to welcome him back. Opening his eyes and took in the unnatural stillness of the area.
"Why do I have a bad feeling that something has happened?" He asked out loud.
"Indeed." His grandfather intoned. "And I believe it probably has something to do with that young woman Harley or the Joker returning from their dimension to our world again."
Tenchi's father turned to look in surprise and awe at the older man. "That's amazing grandfather and you got all that from just the fact the girls are not here to greet us?"
"That and there is a black hole hovering over our dock with a rope leading out of it." Katsuhito replied.
Turning both Tenchi and his father could see what the old man had spotted.
"It could be just one of Washu's experiments?" Nobuyuki asked.
At that exact moment the genius mentioned came out of Tenchi's house with a frazzled and slightly burnt looking Ryoko floating along beside her, trailing them both was the rest of Tenchi's household and a few he didn't recognize. "How many times do I have to tell you that my lab is shielded against your teleportation powers before you learn Ryoko?"
An annoyed Ryoko started to answer her but spotted Tenchi. "TENCHI!" She screamed and disappeared to reappear two inches from his face and grabbed him in a hug that nearly cracked some of his ribs. She released him almost immediately. "We've got trouble Tenchi. The Joker is back and he's got Harley,"
Looking over her shoulder Tenchi examined the two new people he didn't recognize. One was a tall woman with long black hair wearing one of Ayeka's kimonos and had a cat lying across her shoulder and the other was a redhead that was wearing what appeared to be nothing but large green leaves.
Ryoko looked to see where Tenchi was looking and said. "The one in the leaves is Pamela Isley and the one in Ayeka's old rags is Selina Kyle. They're friends of Harley she brought over with her."
Ivy looked over the teen standing next to a car. "That's Tenchi?" She whispered to Ayeka who happened to be standing next to her. She sniffed. "He doesn't look like much to me." Louder she said. "Can we go rescue Harley now before that demented freak clown harms her?"
"That's Lord Tenchi to you." Ayeka angrily tried to correct Ivy but it was obvious Ivy wasn't paying attention to her as she turned to head towards the stairs leading up to the shrine.
"It was this way, wasn't it?" Ivy asked over her shoulder to Washu as she prepared to run up the massive staircase to find Harley.
"I've got a faster way." Washu replied as her hands flew over her holographic computer and a moment later a portal of her own appeared floating in mid air. "We can't go directly into Ryoko's cave, even my technology can't overcome the shielding there but this will take us right outside of it." She had hardly got the words out before Ivy dove into the portal and was gone. Grabbing a hold of Tenchi once again Ryoko's teleportation noise was heard and both she and he were gone, Ryoko preferring to travel by her own means that trust Washu's inventions.
Mihoshi drawing her galaxy patrol blaster headed for the portal and stepped inside, only to reappear a moment later flying backwards. Before anyone could react a huge man stepped out of the portal. He was so tall and wide he had to practically duck to get through the portal and as soon as he cleared it another one stepped out.
"The Pain Brothers." Washu heard Catwoman hiss. Washu was a bit embarrassed to admit it but she hadn't thought to scan for anyone else's signatures except for Harley and the Joker and hadn't considered the killer clown would bring reinforcements of his own. Her embarrassment at what was fundamentally a very basic mistake had to be put on hold however as the two giants picked up Tenchi's father's car and hurled it in their direction. Washu along with everyone else leapt to the side and she practically growled as she saw her floating computer terminal smashed in mid air by the thrown projectile and the portal floating in mid air disappear with a soft pop.
At least for the moment, Tenchi, Ryoko and Poison Ivy were on their own against the Joker.
Nobuyuki after throwing himself to the side found himself next to Mihoshi and carefully lifting the blond woman's head into his lap he gently patted her face to see if she was conscious. Mihoshi opened her eyes with a dazed look. "What asteroid hit me?" She muttered.
One of the Pain Brothers having spotted Sasami lumbered in her direction. As he neared he licked his lips showing exactly what he was thinking of doing to the child once he got his hands on her. In the blink of an eye an angry Ayeka was between him and her little sister. "Don't even think of touching her! She is of royal blood you… You… Muscle bound miscreant!"
The huge mountain of a man didn't even blink but threw a mighty punch in Ayeka's direction. A punch that was stopped dead by tiny floating logs forming a force field between him and Ayeka. A loud sickening crunch was heard as the man's hand bent at an angle after coming into contact with the field.
"Serves you right for trying to attack a child." Ayeka with a smirk stated. A smirk that slipped off her face a moment later when the man without a wince on his face from breaking his hand opened his arms and encompassed the entire floating log force field in a bear hug and stood their straining. "Are you insane? This is a Jurian force field; there is no way you can…." Ayeka paused as the tiny logs started sparking and some of them actually broke causing the field to weaken. With her eyes large, Ayeka bent over and swept Sasami into her arms and sprang away as the field collapsed.
Apart from the others Katsuhito was facing the second Pain Brother. As the massive mountain of a man threw punches, Katsuhito leaned backwards or the side allowing the blows to breeze by him without contact. It was obvious from the grunting from the giant that he was becoming enraged on how the older man was so easily outclassing him. Finally in an act of desperation the giant threw his arms wide and leapt at Katsuhito hoping to catch him in a wrestler's hold and crush him.
Katsuhito in a leap that was beyond impressive leapt straight up and passed over the Pain Brother as he flew through the space that Katsuhito had occupied a moment earlier. Before the giant could recover his feet a wooden sword that no one could later say where Katsuhito had pulled it from smacked him in several places and with a groan the giant was felled.
The remaining Pain Brother having been foiled in his attempts to get to Sasami picked on the next closest person to him. Selina Kyle. Grabbing a trailing edge of the kimono she was wearing he nearly tore it from her body as he pulled her to him. With one large hand he nearly covered her entire head as he tried to squeeze the life out of her.
Having failed to fully wake Mihoshi, Nobuyuki pulled her away from the area of combat and raced to the young woman in troubles aid. It was a mark of his decency that he only paused for a moment when her kimono was ripped open and he got a close look of a sight that almost no man had ever witnessed before, Catwoman naked. With a shake of his head and a brief regret that he didn't have his camera with him; Nobuyuki raced over and stared up at the giant who was trying to crush the lovely woman's head. The giant looked down at Nobuyuki and it was plain that he was thinking, 'what do you plan to do little man?'
Hoping that even though the giant barely looked human, that he still might have normal weakness Nobuyuki suddenly stomped down hard on the giant's left foot. The mountain of a man grunted in pain and releasing Catwoman's head he began to hop on one foot all the while taking a swing at Nobuyuki.
With a hiss and a growl that sounded suspiciously like a drawn out meow, catwoman bounded to her feet and lashed out kicking the giant in his chest causing the over balanced behemoth to fall. Quickly closing her kimono up Catwoman turned to look at the man who had saved her from having her skull crushed. "Tenchi's father, right?" She asked.
Nobuyuki nodded his head and taking her hand he gave her his best smile. "And if I heard correctly your name is Selina? Such a lovely name." Hearing a growl they both looked over to see the giant regaining his feet.
"Let's hold off on the introductions till later?" Selina suggested.
Nobuyuki nodded his head and together him and Catwoman raced away from an obviously pissed off Pain Brother.
A loud groan was heard and then a solid whack sound of a wooden sword and the Pain Brother lying at Katsuhito's feet was once again out of the fight before he even really could get back into it.
The remaining Pain Brother chasing Nobuyuki and catwoman paused as, with high pitched whine sound, bolts from Mihoshi's blaster slammed into his back. The giant slowly turned and looked at Mihoshi as if she was a fly. The energy blasts only seemed to enrage the giant further.
"What is this thing?" A now conscious Mihoshi asked Washu who was standing next to her.
"A genetic throwback would be my guess. More muscle and brawn than brains, I doubt if he has high enough brain functions to even feel pain."
Mihoshi blinked and gulped as the giant started strolling towards them. "What should I do?"
Washu glanced over at her. "Don't let it get its hands on you?" She suggested.
"Waaaa." Mihoshi cried out as she turned and ran away. The Pain Brother didn't even bother with Washu and continued chasing Mihoshi out on to the dock over the lake. Mihoshi reaching the end of the dock prepared to jump into the water if she had to, to get away from the monster after her. Just as the giant was about to grab her and Mihoshi was forced to leap into the water, two people swinging on lines came out of the dark portal floating in midair and slammed into the giant knocking him off his feet to crash hard onto the dock behind him.
Batgirl and Robin landed on the dock beside Mihoshi.
The Pain Brother with a low growl rose to his feet to meet the new challenge when a shadow from above him caused him to look up. He only had time to mutter wha? As a huge stone statue of Buddha appeared in mid air and slammed down on top of his head driving him half way through the wooden planks of the dock pinning his arms.
Batgirl and Robin blinked their eyes at the strange sight and looking over spotted a short red headed girl standing at the land's edge of the dock holding a glowing a see through keyboard with her fingers resting on it. Washu threw them a smile and a wave.
Ivy leaping through the portal only had a moment's notice after clearing it to leap over the top of the first Pain Brother. Kicking off the giant's back she sprang at the next one, only dimly aware that her kick had propelled the first one towards the portal. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the one named Mihoshi coming out of the portal and running into him and the giant reacting immediately to smash a fist into Mihoshi throwing her back through the portal.
Seeing the second Pain Brother opening his arms to crush her, Ivy sent out a silent plea to the plants in the area to come to her rescue. A tree root suddenly exploded under the second Pain Brother's feet catching him in the crotch and causing him to stumble towards his brother. The collision caused both brothers to blunder into the portal and they were gone. Ivy for a split second worried about the others on the other side of the portal having to deal with the two massive henchmen of the Joker's but her concern was brief as she heard her name being screamed from a nearby cave. A scream obviously wrenched from Harley.
As Ivy leapt into the cave's entrance she thought she caught a glimpse of Ryoko and Tenchi appearing in mid air behind her but she couldn't wait to be sure. She had to get to Harley before the Joker could kill her. That was all that mattered.
The Joker strolled around Harley as he admired his handiwork. Finding a stalagmite, or was it a stalactite? The Joker never could keep straight in his mind which was which, he had tied Harley securely to it and then using one of his razor sharp Joker cards he had recovered from where he had thrown them at Harley earlier, he carefully cut away some of the streamers and the shirt that Harley was wearing to expose Harley's breasts. A stray beam of sunlight coming from a hole in the rocky ceiling above them almost acted as a spotlight as it shone down to highlight Harley's sweat slicked body as she squirmed to escape the Joker's eyes on her.
Taking his joy buzzers the Joker turned down the voltage on them till they were next to nothing and then started groping Harley's chest cruelly. Stopping every and now then the Joker would amp up the voltage on them. The Joker was playing a game you see. Just what would happen first? Harley would be electrocuted or break down and scream and beg for him to take her back to end the torment. He had gotten the voltage almost three quarters of the way back to lethal voltage when Harley could take it no longer and screamed in agony but instead of his name she screamed for that plant bitch.
The Joker hauled off and slapped Harley in the face for daring to call out for Ivy instead of him and was rewarded as electric current sparkled across her face not only bruising her face but burning it as well. Harley let out one more scream before her chin dropped to her chest as she lost consciousness.
The Joker laughed maniacally at her torment before hearing a noise caused him to turn to look at the entrance to the cavern they were in. What met his eyes was one very pissed off looking redhead dressed in leaves.
"Get away from her you freak!" Ivy hissed.
The Joker made a great pretense of looking around as if not sure who Ivy meant. "Oh do you mean her?" He asked reaching out a hand and grabbing Harley's right breast. A sizzling sound was heard as the joy buzzer pumped its current into Harley's quaking body and a moan was torn from the unconscious woman's throat.
"You bastard!" Ivy enraged beyond anything she had ever felt before growled as she leapt at him. The Joker swiftly cranked up the volume on his joy buzzers to maximum and as Ivy reached him he stepped to the side and slapped his hands on her back just above where the leaves covered it shocking her with the full extent of the voltage. Ivy shook a bit before falling to the cavern's floor unconscious.
The Joker managed to chuckle a few times before a blue blur slammed into him knocking him clear across the cavern to crash into a rocky wall. Blinking a few times the Joker managed to clear his vision and found Ryoko standing over him. It had been her that had slammed a fist into his face.
Over beside the unconscious Ivy and Harley, Tenchi was kneeling as he checked Ivy's pulse. "She's still alive but her back is badly burnt." He called out to Ryoko.
Ryoko looked down at the prone Joker and a chilling smile crossed her face as she punched one of her fists into her other hand.
The Joker quickly reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on. "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you?" He asked.
A glowing rod appeared in Ryoko's hand and without saying a word she slashed downwards.
The glasses resting on the Joker's nose suddenly split and fell off to either side. Ryoko's light sword having split them without even touching his nose.
"I'll take that as a yes." The Joker decided. Reaching into another pocket he hurled a handful of confetti in Ryoko's direction, Ryoko expecting something lethal or at the very least unpleasant leapt backwards letting the, for a change, harmless confetti to drift to the floor.
The Joker laughing leapt to his feet and dove past Ryoko towards Tenchi, who was now holding his own glowing sword. Reaching into his seemingly never empty pockets, the Joker hurled a small glass marble containing his Joker gas at Tenchi.
Tenchi released one of his hands holding his sword and caught the marble instead of trying to intercept with the sword. "Not this time Joker. I maybe slow but I do learn from my mistakes."
The Joker who had been racing towards Tenchi pulled to a stop a few feet from him. "It would seem that I underestimated you." He said and then bowed. Tenchi only had a moment to realize that the Joker's jacket on his back was bunched up as if something was underneath it when a spring loaded punching glove shot out and caught him on the chin knocking him out.
"Tenchi!" Ryoko screamed as she flew across the room. The Joker spun on one heel and threw a small cube at Ryoko. The cube exploded a few feet away from her and more brightly colored streamers shot out. As they made contact with Ryoko they released a high voltage shock that caught her by surprise and knocked her out.
The Joker threw up his hands and silently slowly turned as if basking in applause that only he could hear.
Harley felt like hell. Every square inch of her body felt like it was on fire and the very effort of breathing seemed like torture. With a great deal of effort she managed to open her eyes. And suddenly she was sure that she had died and was in Hell for all the misdeeds she had done.
The Joker was standing triumphant over Tenchi and Ryoko's bodies and lying on the cavern floor just at her feet was an unconscious and defeated Ivy. Harley couldn't help it, she let out a defeated whimper and that was all it took to draw the sadistic clown's attention.
"Harley gal." The Joker cooed. "I'm glad you are awake. You are just in time to see me prepare your vegetables." The Joker said gesturing at Ivy. "And as all good cooks will tell you, before you fry your veggies you should always thinly slice them." So saying the Joker made a gesture and one of his razor sharp Joker cards slid into his hand from his jacket sleeve.
"NOOOO!" Harley screamed, which only made the Joker giggle but what did stop him was the sudden gloominess in the cavern. Pausing the Joker glanced up at the hole in the ceiling where sunlight had been coming from but saw that the hole was now partially blocked, blocked by a overly large plant root.
Before the Joker could react the plant root shot across the distance between them and slamming into him drove him across the room to a rocky wall and growing several smaller roots into the rocky wall pinned him there.
Peering around the root holding him, the Joker watched as the root grew a smaller root off the main trunk and lowering down started pulling on the streamers holding Harley captive. After a moment the streamers gave into the strength of the root and tore free dumping Harley to her knees next to Ivy. Harley wincing in pain took Ivy in her arms and with much grimacing and groans of pain managed to drag them both into the small circle of sunlight still streaming into the cave.
"Trying to get a tan?" Joker asked with a grin, a grin which turned to a frown as he noticed the burns on Harley's upturned face slowly start to fade as she basked in the sunlight. He could see that the burns on Ivy's back start to heal as well.
The pinned Joker's right hand slowly inched its way to a pocket. He had one last ace in the hole. His super concentrated herbicide formula that he had used on the tree back in the warehouse in Gotham. The game wasn't over yet. If he could get to it and spray the root holding him he would be free once again and facing an unconscious Ivy and still weak Harley he was sure he would have the last laugh. Reaching the jacket pocket he pulled a spray canister out and slowly started to bring it to bear on the root…
Only to have his hand stopped. Taking his eyes off Harley and Ivy he glanced towards his trapped hand only to find himself staring into golden eyes with a shock of blue hair above them.
"As my Tenchi said earlier…" Ryoko told him with a grim smile. "Not this time clown!"
Pulling back her other hand, Ryoko with a great deal of glee smashed it into the Joker's nose, knocking him out. As his hand relaxed Ryoko pulled the canister he had been about to use away and carefully sat it to the side. She had no idea what it was but she figured Washu could figure it out later.
Harley hearing the commotion glanced away from Ivy so missed it as Ivy opened her eyes and blinked. After seeing that the Joker was at least temporarily dealt with, she glanced back down to see Ivy looking up at her. Pulling the redhead to her chest Harley crushed her in a hug and started crying. "I was sure I lost you Ivy!"
Poison Ivy found herself with her face pressed tightly against Harley's bare breasts. While this would normally be something that Ivy would be quite happy and content with, the close proximity allowed Ivy to see the already healing electrical burns that practically covered Harley's breasts and filled her with rage towards the Joker who had caused them so she tried to pull away so she could deal with the clown.
Harley feeling Ivy tense up and trying to pull away from her jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Releasing Ivy, Harley's tears turned from happiness to one of utter misery. "Gee Red, I'm sorry. I should have realized. Um, thanks for coming to rescue me though. I do appreciate it." Harley mumbled as she stood up.
Ivy who had been glaring at the pinned to the wall Joker blinked in confusion as Harley started to stumble towards the exit to the cavern.
"I hope you and Ryoko will be happy." Harley whispered as she tried to leave the cavern. Before she could exit however an offshoot of the root shot across the room and wrapped around Harley's waist and gently but firmly pulled her back to where Ivy was now standing with her hands on her hips.
"Harley? What the heck are you talking about?" Ivy asked her in confusion.
Harley with tears streaming from her eyes making it hard for her to see stammered. "I know you want Ryoko and that I'm just a dirt plain common blond. It's okay. I understand I was just 'second choice' until something better comes along. I've always been someone's second choice. Really it's okay." Harley crying finally reached a level where she couldn't continue.
Ryoko standing next to Tenchi blinked. "You wanted me?" She asked Ivy.
"Well I will admit when I first met you I was attracted. You have a great body and being a space pirate and all." Ivy answered distractedly.
Tenchi subconsciously stepped closer to Ryoko as if to say, 'she's already taken'. A fact he didn't even realize but one that Ryoko most assuredly did.
"But there is only one person I've ever truly wanted." Ivy continued. "And I'm looking at her."
Blinking to clear the tears from her eyes Harley could see that Ivy was staring directly at her.
"Me?" She asked hopefully.
Ivy sighed. "Of course you! And what did I tell you about calling yourself a common blond? When I get you alone I really am going to spank you." Ivy stepped closer as the root released its hold on Harley's waist. "Slowly… With my bare hand." Ivy finished with a smirk.
Harley gulped.
"Oh will someone please just kill me now before all this lovely doveyness gets any deeper?" The Joker's voice called out breaking everyone's attention.
The Joker regretted his comment as three pissed off women's eyes turned towards him and even the farm boy looked like he was seriously considering the Joker's request.
"Eh. It's just a saying you know." The Joker added.
"Oh I don't know. Sounds like a damn fine idea to me." Ivy hissed. Harley and Ryoko nodded their heads.
"Um ladies we can't kill him…" Tenchi began but stopped as the women's glares were turned on him.
"That's right. You need to turn him over to us." A new person's voice called out. Turning everyone looked at the entrance to the cavern and found Washu, Mihoshi, a strange woman wearing a tight bat like costume and a young boy in a bright colorful costume standing.
"We'll take them back to our dimension where they will stand trial." The boy in the costume finished.
The girl in the bat costume turned to look at her companion. "Them? We can just take the Joker back." She stated.
Robin shook his head. "Harely and Ivy are still escaped criminals Batgirl. They have to go back too."
"No one is being taken back." Mihoshi stated in a firm voice. Everyone looked at her in surprise.
"I allowed it the first time but not again."
"Look I don't know who you are but we have our instructions." Robin said.
"And I don't know what kind of authorization you have back in your home dimension but you are not there now. I am a Galaxy Police officer and this is my jurisdiction. I let your Batman take the Joker and Harley Quinn back the first time as a courtesy to a fellow law enforcer but I was assured that the Joker wouldn't be back. He came back and his associates have destroyed earthly property, ie. Being Tenchi's father's car and attacked Jurian royalty, an esteemed scientist, not to mention assaulting a Galaxy Police officer. He and those two giants will face our justice system. As for Harley Quinn, Pamela Isley and Selina Kyle they have requested political asylum and until Tenchi, Ayeka or Sasami rule on it… They are staying." There was none of Mihoshi's usual flightiness or confusion about her at the moment. She was in full Galaxy Patrol mode and was not broking any arguments.
Even Washu was looking at her respectfully.
Robin glanced over at Batgirl in question.
Batgirl shrugged her shoulders. "Batman always says we have to obey the laws or we are no better than the criminals we bring in."
"What will happen to them?" Robin asked pointing with his thumb in the Joker's direction.
"Probably an even cushier mental asylum than Arkham." The Joker laughed.
"Jurian law does not recognize insanity as an excuse to commit crimes." Mihoshi said with a faint grin. "Destruction of private earth property? Minor penalty. Kidnapping, assault and torture of visiting people. Ie. Harley and Ivy. 30-40 years in a hard penal colony. Attempted assault and attempted murder of Jurian royalty…" Mihoshi smiled a grim smile. "That will be up to the Jurai crown to decide… And they don't take those kinds of things lightly at all."
"You can't leave me here!" The Joker yelled at Robin. "I demand to be taken back to Gotham and treated. I'm a sick person you know!"
Robin rubbed his forehead. "What would Batman say?" He asked out loud.
"I would say that we have to obey the laws of whatever dimension we are in. Mihoshi as an officer is well within her rights to demand that they be allowed to deal with the Joker and the Pain Brothers." Batman's deep voice answered him.
Everyone tuned to look at the quickly getting crowded cavern entrance and spotted a slightly limping Batman being assisted by Katsuhito on one side and Ayeka on the other.
"Batman!" Batgirl yelled happily and made her way to his side. "Are you okay?"
"I've felt better but I'm fine." He assured her.
"So we just leave them here?" Robin asked.
Batman nodded his head. "We leave them here."
"Batman! You can't leave me! We are two sides of a coin! You need me!" The Joker yelled out.
"I think you have confused yourself with Two Face, Joker and I most assuredly don't 'need' you." Batman stated as he turned to leave the cavern.
"Gotham will become boring without me!" Joker shouted as he struggled to get free from the root holding him to the wall.
"Looks like we'll just have to try and muddle through, won't we?" Batman replied as he gestured for Robin and Batgirl to leave with him.
"Batman!... Batman?" The Joker questioned as the Dark Knight didn't pause and along with Robin and Batgirl left the cavern.
Selina Kyle stood at the beginning of the dock as Batman, Robin and Batgirl talked to the others. She was staring at the floating portal at the end of the dock and thinking. Behind her she could hear Batman explaining that after his group crossed over back to Gotham that they planned to dismantle the portal generator and considering that both the Joker and Harley who knew how the thing worked and how to build it was staying in this dimension, it would be the last time anyone crossed from this dimension to Gotham's or vice a versa.
Sensing someone walking up beside her, Selina glanced over and saw that it was Batman.
"You are staying?" He asked.
"You are leaving?" She replied looking forward once again.
"You know I have to. Gotham is my home. Someone has to protect it."
Selina sighed. "Why does it have to be you? Look it is clean here and peaceful. Whoever you are behind that mask could settle down and never have to worry again about freaks getting lucky and killing you or your friends. You could be happy here." She took a deep breath. "We could be happy here?" She asked softly.
"I'd like that." Batman admitted just as softly. "But I can't. Gotham maybe losing Joker, Harley and Ivy but there are others out there. There will always be others out there and I can't live with myself if I knew I could save the innocent from them and just walked away."
Selina let a sad smile play across her face. "I noticed that you didn't put me on that list of the ones Gotham is losing."
"You never tried to harm someone deliberately." Batman pointed out. "That and I'm kind of still hoping you will come back with us. The Joker was right about one thing, it is going to be kind of boring in Gotham without you in it." He added as he turned to walk back to say his goodbyes to Tenchi and his grandfather.
Selina sniffed and angrily wiped at a tear in her eye. Sensing someone else walking up beside her she glanced over and then had to glance down when she noticed it was the diminutive scientist named Washu. Washu stood looking out over the water and after a moment Selina turned her gaze back as well.
"You want to go back don't you?" Washu asked after several moments.
Selina sighed. "It's just I don't know what I will do here. It may seem silly to you but back in Gotham I stole from the rich so I could provide a home for stray cats. I love cats. They are so much easier to understand than people. But that world is changing and it is getting harder and harder for anything to live. Here I can provide a safe place for cats but I can't do it in Gotham anymore."
Washu didn't reply for a moment. "I heard from Ivy and Harley how things are getting back in your home dimension and I've given plans to Batman for some devices that will actively clean the air and water of your world. He tells me he knows the right people to get the plans to and that he promises me he can get them in mass production in time to save his world."
Selina glanced down in surprise at the petite scientist and was surprised to see her holding a dark bundle in her arms. "What is that?" She asked.
"It's a costume I made based off the one you showed up here wearing, with a few modifications of my own of course." Washu said with a smile. "For instance I put in a camouflage circuit that will let you blend in with shadows and a bracelet on one wrist that if you press it will signal me in this dimension." Washu looked up at her with a twinkle in her eye. "Batman may dismantle the portal generator in your dimension but I still have mine. If an emergency comes up or you want to send some cats over here for safe keeping, signal me and I'll open a portal for you."
Selina looked at her in shock. "But…I'm a criminal. You know that, right?"
Washu let out a laugh. "Did Harley or Ivy not tell you? My daughter is Ryoko. She used to be a space pirate. A little thing like being on the wrong side of the law doesn't bother me as much as it might say some."
Selina took the costume from Washu and held it up to look at it. It did resemble her old one but maybe a little sleeker looking. "How did you know I was going to choose to go back to Gotham?" She asked.
Washu sighed. "I'm usually a good judge of character. Ivy and Harley? They have each other. I really believe that in a clean environment where she has plenty of room to experiment on her plants and with Harley with her, Ivy can be happy and give up her criminal life. And I think Harley as long as she has Ivy will be happy no matter what they are doing. But you? It is obvious to a genius like me that you care for two things above all else. Your cats and a certain tall dark guy that likes to dress up as a bat?"
Selina said nothing but taking the costume she walked away from the dock to where some trees were. When she stepped out from them again she was dressed as Catwoman. She was pleased to find that Washu had even included a coiled whip at her hip. She found inside the clothing a small manual that explained all the added 'extras' Washu had included and she couldn't wait to get back to Gotham and try some of them out.
As Catwoman walked back to the dock she spied Delilah sitting meowing at Ryo-ohki . "Come on Delilah, time to go." The cat meowed at Ryo-ohki one last time as if to say, 'see you again sometime' and then leapt up on to her mistress's shoulder
Batman walking up with the others checked out her new look. "So you are going back with us?"
Catwoman nodded her head.
"But Cats, I thought you wanted to stay here, with us?" Harley only a little sad sounding asked.
"Sorry Harley but this place looks too dull for my tastes. What can I say? I'm a city kind of cat. The rural life would just bore me to tears."
"Um does that mean we have to take her in?" Robin asked.
Batman frowned. "Well she is still a wanted criminal in Gotham…"
Catwoman smiled and leaned in towards him. "Before you can take me in…" She said as she neared closer enough to almost kiss him. "You'll have to catch me first." And with a laugh she turned and raced down the dock towards the floating portal. Reaching it she whipped her whip from its place on her hip and the end flew up into the black opening. Turning she blew a kiss in Batman's direction and the whip retracted pulling her up into the hole and she was gone.
"You know…That whip almost looked like one of your inventions Miss Washu." Ayeka stated turning to look at the scientist. Everyone glanced at Washu but she appeared completely unaffected.
"What was that Ayeka?" She asked innocently.
"Um nothing." Ayeka quickly added as she noted a gleam in Washu's eye that she knew from past experiences boded no one any good.
"Well we shouldn't let Catwoman get too much of a headstart on us." Batman stated.
Together with Robin and Batgirl they walked to the edge of the dock and started climbing up the ropes that were still hanging down from the portal as the sun in Tenchi's dimension started to set. Robin thought it was lucky that Catwoman hadn't thought to cut the ropes while Batgirl knew it wasn't an oversight on Catwoman's part but she had deliberately left them for Batman to use. Batman the last one up the ropes looked across one last time at where Ivy and Harley stood with their arms around each others' waists. He hoped he was doing the right thing leaving them in Tenchi's dimension and hoped that the two made the most of their new start. Turning to look farther down the lake's edge he spotted Mihoshi directing two Galaxy Patrol officers in heavy armor loading Joker and the Pain Brothers into a spacecraft to take them somewhere into space to stand trial for their crimes in this dimension.
Even though he hated and wondered at his own sanity, a small part of him knew the Joker was right. In an odd and not entirely healthy way, he was going to miss the psychopath, the hunt, the ridiculous death traps and really bad jokes but in the end it was a very tiny part of Batman's psyche and he hoped that the clown was going to be sent away for a very long time.
As the last of Batman's cape disappeared into the black hole in the sky, Tenchi and his group continued to watch. It was only when the black hole sucked into itself with a slight 'woop' noise that they finally turned away.
"Um what happens now?" Harley finally asked.
Washu stepped forward. "I Washu, the greatest scientist in the universe have created a miracle in modern building technology!" She handed Harley a small cube that resembled a puzzle cube. Harley turned the surprisingly light cube over and over in her hands.
"But what does it do?" She finally asked.
Washu glanced over at Katsuhito.
"The shrine lands extend much farther than just Tenchi's house and the shrine itself." The older man explained. "It contains the land on the other side of the mountain and Washu and I think a clearing just over the mountain would make a fine place for you and Ivy to start off your new lives together."
"You see the button on one side?" Washu asked Harley.
Harley turning the cube found the mentioned button and nodded her head.
"Take the cube and sit it down in the open space with the button side up and press it. Quickly step back about 20 yards and poof! Instant house, complete with furnishings and an attached greenhouse for Ivy to raise plants in."
Harley's eyes were gleaming with tears. Even Ivy seemed deeply touched. "Thank you Washu. I don't know how I will ever repay you or the others but I'll never stop trying!"
"Why not just go now." Ayeka almost nastily asked, wanting to get the strange women away from her Lord Tenchi.
Everyone shot her a glare and she had the decency to look embarrassed.
Washu summoned her holo laptop and pressed a few buttons. A glowing portal opened in front of the group. "What a lovely idea Ayeka. Let's all go and help them get settled in."
Katsuhito leaned on a railing of the shrine as he looked up at the full moon shining down. Once again strange happenings occurred around his grandson Tenchi and new people were added to the group but at least this time the two new women were not interested in the least in Tenchi and were staying in their own place.
Listening to the crickets chirping Katsuhito relaxed. Suddenly coming from just the other side of the mountain he heard Harley's voice calling out thick with passion. "Oh yeah Red…Yeah right…..Right there… OH YES PAMMY!!"
Katsuhito shook his head and wondered if it was too late in the night to go meditate under the nearby waterfall… The ice cold waterfall. As the sounds from Harley and Ivy continued, he also made a mental note to have Washu install sound proofing tomorrow on Harley and Ivy's new house.
The End.
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Author's note:
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If anyone is still reading this, I'm sorry for the extra long delay in posting chapters. Writer's block and other story ideas popping into my head kept delaying this last chapter, but finally the story has reached its conclusion. There are a few areas I feel like didn't work too well and I'm sure there are some slips here and there but in the end, I'm happy with it. I doubt if any more stories will take place in this 'universe'. I wrote what I wanted to and I believe it is best to leave the rest of the story to the minds of the readers. You decide if Harley and Ivy live happily ever after or not and what the Joker and Pain Brothers punishment is.
Thanks for following me on this journey,
Weirdbard.