Chapter 5

The next morning saw Danziger up and awake as if nothing had ever happened, at least outwardly. He had breakfast with True and talked with her about her plans for the day. He met with Baines and Walman about the rail's recent overhaul, then spoke with Alonzo about giving the ATV a once over before they headed out.

Then along with Cameron, he loaded the power generator into the back of the dunerail, stopping by the Martin tent to collect the sunstone again.

"Do you want to run through the repair on VR again?" Morgan asked.

"I never want to touch that shankin' thing again as long as I live," Danziger snarled. Then he apologized immediately. "Sorry, Martin. That program came in real handy for working out the bugs, but I've got it down now."

Bess passed him the bag with the sunstone in it, a knowing look in her eye. "Don't blow up our power generator, Danziger. We need it," she said.

"I'm not going to blow up the generator," he responded firmly.

"See that you don't," she countered just as firmly, giving him a long hard stare.

"What was that all about?" Morgan asked as Danziger guided the dunerail over the ridge and out of sight.

"You know what Alonzo let slip last night," Bess replied. "I just wanted to be sure John wasn't suicidal."

"You don't think he is, do you?" Morgan asked nervously.

"No, I don't think so," she answered thoughtfully, "but he's sure hurting pretty badly."

She took a long look down the dunerail's tracks, then turned to Morgan. "I'm going to do a little exploring for a bit, look for some more wildflowers to dry. What are you going to do?" she asked her husband.

He fingered his VR set. Bess's exploring missions usually left him with enough time to play a least a couple of good sets, he thought. "I'm just going to hang around here, I guess," he ventured.

"That's a good idea, Morgan honey. You have fun and rest up. We're supposed to leave in the morning," Bess replied, giving him a soft kiss. As she closed the tent flap behind her, she could hear the chirps of the VR set as Morgan loaded his favorite jazz program.

Knowing that Morgan was occupied for a while, Bess followed the dunerail's tracks out of the camp. She felt confident that Danziger had carried the generator out of reach purely as a precaution. She'd been around the man long enough to know that he did not take foolish chances with machinery. He was more than capable of making the repair in his sleep.

A nice stretch of the legs later, she came upon the dunerail, generator humming merrily in the seat. John was nowhere to be seen though. She looked around a rocky outcropping to see him, sitting under the shade of an overhanging bluff. His head was in his hands. Her heart went out to him.

Who was going to look after him? Not Julia, she had Alonzo to deal with. Not Magus, she had to put up with Walman. Morgan took plenty of time, but Bess reasoned she had more resources than anyone else for looking after John Danziger. She knew his type; she'd been raised by a man very much like him.

"John," she called out quietly as she approached. "I'm coming to sit with you for a while."

And she did. She sat next to him in silence. She didn't try to talk to him. She didn't ask him anything. She just sat with him. After a while, he stood up, then reached down one hand to pull her to her feet.

"Thanks," he said gruffly.

"No problem," she answered.

"Want a ride back?"

"Sure."

They rode in silence for a bit, then John began to talk. At first, he just talked about their travel plans for the coming day, then he talked about True.

"I never realized just how much she looks like her mother," he said with a sigh.

"Ellie must have been a beautiful woman then because True is a lovely little girl," Bess stated. She noticed John's start of surprise when Bess mentioned Ellie by name.

He stopped the dunerail. "I never gave up on her, Bess," he said. "I never did. Not when we didn't have anything to our names. Not when she wouldn't marry me. Not even when the doctors said there was nothing left to do but let her die. I never gave up on her."

Bess just sat and listened. "I took this job with the idea that maybe, just maybe there would be some kind of miracle when we got back. Somehow enough time would have passed that they could bring her back to me. They could give True her mother."

Bess knew the moment had come to ask the question. "John, what happened to Ellie?"

He leaned his head onto his hands resting on the steering wheel of the rail. "They killed her, Bess," he managed, his voice raw with emotion. "The Station brass killed her and it was my fault. I didn't protect her. I wasn't there with her. I was asleep." He looked up from the wheel, tears welling in his eyes. "I was asleep."

Bess didn't say anything. She just reached out to him and held him. It was the first time she'd ever seen a grown man cry, not even Morgan, who was a world class whiner. And John Danziger was the last man on earth she'd ever expected to cry on her shoulder. She felt honored.

After a few minutes, he'd pulled away from her, mumbling apologies.

"Listen to me, John Danziger," she said firmly, taking him by the arm. "You have nothing to apologize for. You are the strongest man I've known since my father. You've always only did your best to take care of True and of this group and of Ellie. She knew that, John. She still knows that. She's still looking out for you and True."

"I hope you're right," he answered.

"I know I am. I have faith in you. We all do," Bess continued in a tone that brooked no argument.

Camp was just over the next rise. "Oh, look!" Bess suddenly exclaimed. "Wildflowers! Let me out here, please. I have to pick a few to dry." And she hopped out of the rail as if the entire afternoon had never happened.

After dinner that evening, the group sat around the campfire, a little more at peace than before. Other than giving him a bright smile, Bess had not let on that he'd ever said a word to her about Ellie, much less that he'd cried on her shoulder like a little boy.

He wondered if Martin truly understood what a treasure he had. Then he caught them exchanging a loving glance and John realized that Morgan knew. He was still a whiny annoyance, but he knew Bess was the best thing that had ever, could ever happen to him. He sighed and glanced back toward the Council ship.

Despite the fact that he'd just sworn he'd never set foot in there again, he felt bad about how he'd railed at Devon, even if she couldn't hear him. On this planet though, you never knew.

The group was still gathered by the fire as he rose and made his way over to the ship. The lights came up as he entered the cold sleep chamber. Devon stood there, looking every bit the princess she always did. Not even the ravages of sickness could dim the elegance she always seemed to possess.

"I've come to apologize," he began, feeling a bit awkward. "I'm sorry I yelled at you and said we had nothing here. It's not true. We have a lot here. Uly has health. We all have freedom. We have each other."

He took a deep breath. "All you ever did was your best for your son and this group. We've all lost by coming here, but we've all gained as well. Who's to say if True and I hadn't come that it would have changed anything? Ellie might still be dead. I might have gotten killed on some spacewalk and left True with nothing but a load of debt she couldn't pay."

"This place gives us a chance, Adair," he continued. "It gives us a chance at a new life. The past is behind us." He reached out his hand to the cold sleep tube. "We're just going to have to work for the future."

Outside the ship, a Terrian with a triangular staff and scarlet beads around his right wrist listened and learned.