"Like really, how are we helping any people in the long run? Everyone, each individual person, what are we doing that will ever really matter much in any way?"
It was the next morning already and Mathew was talking to his pet cat Kumajiro, named by his Japanese friend that had moved away-it had been his farewell present to Mathew.
"Nothing we ever do individually will help others, except for those select few people that make a tremendous amount of difference in the world at large. But, it's ridiculous to think that you might be one of those people. A person's chance at becoming one of them is very slim, oh so slim. There is almost no chance that we will ever make any difference in somebody else's life at all."
Mathew threw the shirt he'd chosen to wear that day to school down onto his bed beside Kumajiro along with his favorite red bunny-hug.
"Oh, this is just all so silly Kuma! What is the point in living if your life won't matter? Why would you keep it? If your life doesn't make a difference what is the point to it? I don't know Kumakoffy, I just don't know. Why don't I know anything Kuma? Why am I not a good enough of a person to figure out such simple questions like these? If I can't even figure out my reason for being alive, why should I stay here in this world? Isn't that what my parents are always telling me whenever I do something dumb, 'if something doesn't have a purpose in life, it has no reason being there'? Do I then have no reason for being here? How can I find a valid reason to live Kuma-something? Please help me Kuma in the one way I know that you can't. I want you to reassure me, to tell me I have a place in life, and to, hopefully, distract me from myself, and please, just say something."
Kumajiro said nothing, he just stared at Mathew from his bed as all cats seem to do, saying nothing but seeming to say with their eyes absolutely nothing. It was just another empty stare that told Mathew nothing about what his only friend was thinking. He had no other way to know his thoughts though. So, he was left with this, having a stare down with his cat as his brother tried to call him downstairs. Apparently they needed to go to school now.
Mathew dropped his gaze to the hard wood floor of his bedroom.
"I need to know this answer; but, nobody is answering me. I don't think anyone even knows the answer to my question. How do you find a way to live? Who could ever tell me that question's answer? If no one knows the answer though. Does that mean that, in the end, the majority of us have no reason to be here? If most of us have no purpose, why are we still here? I don't know. Goodbye Kuma, see you after school."
And with that, Mathew walked out the door and never looked back at the white cat on his bed that contrary to his own actions had been watching him the entire time. Sometimes you don't need to understand a person to want to help them. And yet, most of us have not the faintest clue in how to go about doing that helping. And so, Kumajiro stayed there, he was only a cat after all. Whatever his owner was going through, that was making him make those unusual faces and not-happy sounds, it would be figured out at some point, maybe.