So for the longest time I wasn't too sure if I should share this. This was the chapter I've had planned out from the beginning.

Jealousy of a sibling.

'I bet he never has to think about things like this,' Mathew thought as he looked across the table at his brother. 'Alfred is always happy-no-sunny would be a better description. Like the sun, he's there, everywhere, and people always love him. It even describes his appearance too, with his bright blue eyes like the sky and bright blond hair like the light the sun gives off. He shines through everything. He is the sun, and I am its pale shadow no one likes to be in the light of, the moon. No one sees me, they stay far away, and everyone wants to be with him, and long to see him when he's not there.'

'There, now I can finally pinpoint the difference between us that no one else has ever seen. Everyone else is convinced we are identical twins, with not a shade of difference between us. They believe us to be one and the same. I guess they are just ignoring our different hairstyles, the way our bodies are built, and my eyes then. There's a world of difference between us. But, now that I know that, there is now one more thing to add to that list. Alfred is loved, and I am not. He knows joy, and I have no idea of where to find it. He is the better version of me, and I am just a waste of space.'

'I'm just there so our parents don't have to be accused of man-slaughter.'

'They let the useless one live because it would be too much of an effort to get rid of it. I'm the useless one.'

Feeling as if you can never be enough to repay everyone around you for your life.

Feeling as if you are useless.

'I'm sorry for burdening you guys. I'm sorry I'm not of any use. I'm sorry that I don't know how to be any better.'

'How could I ever possibly be good enough? I don't know how. I should know how to be a wonderful person. Why don't I know how to be great?'

Realizing that you are in charge of your own destiny.

Then I suddenly stopped. It was like I'd had an epiphany of sorts. I'd finally realized the most important thing in my life, that it was so simple.

'That's the answer to everything. I've kept trying to blow things up and make them into this big problem I needed to deal with, I made everything so big, bad, and scary; but, it's not. Life is so simple. I can see that now. Everything is through my own choice, I can choose everything that happens to me. Everything that ever happens to me, I have chosen to let happen to me through one action I have done or another. If I don't get a good mark in class, I chose to not study enough or not pay enough attention, or I didn't ask the teacher questions. If I can't keep up to everyone else, I just need to get stronger. I can choose to do anything. I can control my life. I can control my own destiny, and everything.'

Alfred had looked up from his homework and was waving his hand in front of my face. "Yo, Mattie? You okay? You look kind of zoned out there."

I gave him the biggest smile I could, one that I hadn't given in a long while, and laughed. "Of course I'm alright Alfred."

Sometimes it's just realizing that you are in charge of yourself that's the hardest thing to do, especially in societies like this where there isn't a lot of responsibility expected of children until a certain age. Parents can get it into their heads that they have to guide their children into a better life. Only, it turns out that they don't guide and more like just take the steering wheel and buckle you into the car seat in the back to watch the scenery go by. They take over your life, and then when they believe you are old enough, they no longer control every aspect of your life and you have no idea what to do. You can take it too seriously then and think that you can't possibly live your own life without guidance. You think to yourself that this task must be oh-so-serious that your parent(s) had to take it over. In your eyes they are perfect, and you can't mess up; but, this is the first time you have ever controlled yourself, and had responsibility. You mess up, and panic. Everything has to be just-so, and you didn't do it that way. That's when you just need to take a few breaths and think to yourself that it's alright to do mistakes, to do something "bad", and that you will remember what happened, maybe talk it over with someone, and keep going. You don't need to kill yourself because you aren't perfect, because as my Dad lectured me on, "There is no such thing as perfect". Your parents will always be proud of you no matter how badly you scored on a test, or if you broke a plate, or forgot to do your chores. You can apologize and ask to get better.

What I've written about are just some ways that people can be unhappy.

No one is better than another person. Everyone is who they want to be at the moment, and who they want to later become. You are in charge of your own destiny. Whatever you want to do, you should be able to do, just do it.

If something is ever bothering you, just ask someone. It doesn't matter what it is, someone will know how to make it better. Life should be enjoyed throughout your whole life, it needs to be worth it. Don't do anything you'll regret when you're older, and make sure you will always be happy.