Chapter 11:
Annie and Auggie still have yet to discuss the recent events that left their relationship in limbo. Auggie knows his gut was right in believing in Annie and tipping her off to Hayley's arrest warrant, but he wished she trusted him enough to tell him the truth. He doesn't get how or why they arrived at the current state. What caused such an enormous rift in their relationship or was it just impossible to be transparent? Annie had blatantly lied to him numerous times.
Auggie knows that he has uttered his share of lies and lies by omissions to Annie and other people in his life, but somehow this was different. It was Annie. His Annie and he thought after all they had been through it was different between them. Though he knew in his head she had justifiable reasons, he still wished in his heart that she had trusted him enough to read him in on everything. All he could think was that it started from the time she went dark to bring down Henry Wilcox. Things were never the same between them from the time Annie decided to take herself off the grid. They had worked through his lies about Teo and Arthur and not telling her he was married on a mission.
But then, she disappeared after killing Henry. He was expecting her and waited with worry for days and tasked Eric Barber with helping him comb through security footage of all the possible places she could have landed in the South China Seas. He looked at all her known aliases. After about two weeks and a lot of searching in his spare time, he realized the only way she disappeared without a trace was if she wanted to. So the worry turned to anger to acceptance.
Now he wondered, was Annie protecting him like she said or herself? And the hell did McQuaid earn her trust and her heart. He knew Annie and her fierce devotion to those she cared about. He could tell she cared for McQuaid. For her to risk her career and put all her effort into helping him meant something. Auggie wasn't sure he wanted to accept that while she said she didn't want any emotional attachments she had found herself one. Maybe she just meant him and it stung.
Auggie had been too blind to admit to himself that he hurt Annie by sleeping with Helen. And perhaps Annie herself didn't realize it, but those hurt feelings among a stack of others she picked up over the years at the CIA were what drove her to keep emotional distance from Auggie and anyone else who tried to get close to her until Ryan came along.
Annie goes to see Auggie after her awkward conversation with Joan. As a show of truce and trust, she hands him over the copy of Crime and Punishment that Roger had sent to her. She could hve taken it to McQuaid Security to have it worked up over there, but Annie still doesn't know who to trust fully there and she does trust Auggie despite her recent actions. As Annie hands him the book, she says, "I know we need to have a long talk and we will when this is all over. Thank you for sticking your neck out for me. I've not forgotten and I do owe you explanations. I never meant to put you at risk, that part you need to know."
"Walker, your instincts are what's kept you in the game this long. As your handler, I have to present you with all the intel. I have eyes on and all the angles I see. You're the one in the field with the contacts and assets. You did what you had to do."
"Really? Because you seemed pretty pissed the other day."
"I'm a big boy, I can put aside my personal feelings. You choose the mission and I have to respect that Annie. What you did saved lives."
Annie thinks is this his way of saying he's sorry that he didn't trust her instincts on McQuaid when she told him that he came clean to hear about Flint. She wasn't expecting him to be so understanding based on their last heated conversation.
"I'll see what the team can make of the book after a thorough examination of the pages, binding, and cover. So, have you talked to Joan or Calder yet?"
"Just left Joan's desk. She wanted me to come back to the DPD, but I couldn't accept the terms. Listen Auggie, I am giving you the book, but I need you to pass along anything you find. I haven't given you much reason to keep helping me, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't have to," says Annie with a hushed voice.
Auggie takes the opportunity to grab something from his desk, "Here take this, it's an encrypted phone with a disabled GPS locator. I'll call you if I find anything."
"Disabled? Why?" Annie is dubious and looks at Auggie intently. He can't see it, but he can feel it. He doesn't answer her, just shrugs. She touches his elbow, and says, "Thank you." Annie knows Auggie is lying her her, but lets it go. Annie leans in and hugs him, he loves feeling her in this way, her whole upper body pressed against his, the smell of her hair, her chin resting on his shoulder, it's all familiar and welcomed. He finally hugs her back and whispers, "Be careful Walker."