Chapter 12 : Hello and Goodbye

Annie spent the last day learning all about Belenko, his contacts, his movements, and his finances. He's back in Georgia, but Annie has intel connecting him to Turkey. Before she leaves the country to follow her first solid lead, Annie heads to the hospital to visit Ryan.

While Annie is en route to the hospital, Arthur is in Ryan's hospital room. Ryan had regained consciousness earlier that day and his prognosis was good. He was moved from critical to stable condition. Before Annie arrives at the hospital room, Arthur briefed Ryan on the motorcade bomb and explosion, Annie's part in stopping the blast from killing any members of the treaty signing, and Caitlyn's murder by Belenko.

McQuaid is angry that missed all the signs. Turns out the mole at McQuaid was right in front of him, his second in command. "Arthur, Caitlyn had been pushing the Georgian delegation security detail and gave them the gold glove service. Now I get why she was spending so much time on it. Damn it, how could I have not seen it?"

"Give yourself a break, I didn't sense anything either. She was good."

"But you didn't know her for half your life. You think you know someone."

"In this life, we have to be careful who we trust and not all of your friendship with her was a lie, try to remember that and move on."

"How's Annie? How much heat is she getting because of me?"

Ryan thinks she was partially the reason his eye was off the ball. He was preoccupied falling for Annie, keeping her safe through surveillance in addition to searching for the mole. Arthur tells him that Belenko was recalled to Georgia and they had been following his movements and his accounts.

"Annie's managed to steer clear of any reprimands, in fact, she is being lauded for figuring out where the bomb was placed. Saved my life again you know. Annie is going to follow down leads on Belenko. He has received and made numerous phone calls to Turkey and Saudi Arabia. His country's debriefs are keeping him in Georgia for the time being. Annie is going to tail him in Georgia and see if she can gather any new intel from the ground."

McQuaid , "Get Joan to put another operative on it Arthur, I don't want Annie to keep fighting my battle, I shouldn't have dragged her into any of it." Ryan tells Arthur about Annie's episodes in the field. Arthur sighs and says, "She's the epitome of stubborn and it's not your battle alone. She is out for justice, justice for the 12 comrades the CIA lost, she won't back off and well, Joan and I have an understanding that we stay out of each other's way when it comes to our jobs, you will soon learn that is the way to maintaining a harmonious relationship with someone whose work overlaps with yours."

McQuaid, "It's her life, and she's stubborn, but she will listen to you."

"Just worry about getting healthy and coming back to run his company, Annie can take care of herself."

"I can't not worry about her."

"You and Annie, I can't say I'm not surprised. You're cut from the same cloth you know."

Ryan says, "You make it sound incestuous."

Arthur, "Annie's an asset, a great girl, a talented operative who has given her all time and time again. I admit there were times when I doubted her, but I learned my lesson while she earned my gratitude and complete trust. All these qualities describe you too. You make a great team and you know what, you harken back to memories of my courtship with Joan." Arthur chuckles.

"I care about her a lot, . . . "

Arthur, "I hear a 'but' coming."

This is where Annie has arrived and walks close enough to the room to pause outside. She had a huge smile walking down the corridor because she heard Ryan was awake and talking. She had hydrangeas with her, the same flowers McQuaid sent her to signal a meet. As she gets closer to the room she hears, Ryan say to Arthur, "I don't know if I can bear to lose another woman I care about. You didn't see me those first years after Kelly died. I was a mess. Then I found my focus, the company became my baby and I can't say I haven't enjoyed the adventure though it has been lonely at times. Meeting Annie was unexpected and falling for her was definitely a curve ball."

Annie leans back against the wall just outside Ryan's room, contemplating whether to go in or not. She decides she will go in.

She knocks and puts on her smile and says, "I heard someone is ready to get back in the game."

McQuaid has the biggest smile on his face. "I was wondering when I'd see you, instead I've had to put up with this guy."

Arthur sees Annie and gives her a kiss and says, "I'll leave you two alone. I briefed Ryan already on the last two days. I'll see you back at the office." Annie says, "I'm not heading back there, a plane is waiting or me." McQuaid sighs and winces. He says, "Where are you going? I need some looking after and I was hoping you could help a wounded man out."

Annie goes to the bed, gives Ryan a kiss and sits down on his bed, "Ryan, I have helped you and I am going to be helping on my mission. I'm going to make Belenko pay for Caitlyn, for using you, for Chicago and the motorcade bombing and whatever else he and his cadre of terrorists have planned."

McQuaid with a tired voice, "Annie, don't do this. You've done so much already. It's time you set this aside for someone else to see through. There are other operatives out there who can do the job."

Annie, "The problem is we don't know who we can fully trust at McQuaid Security and the CIA is sitting on their asses analyzing their data. You need to get better, that's your mission, get better and get back to work, and then you need to clean house."

Ryan, "The CIA is letting you go? Are they sending someone with you?" Ryan has not reviewed footage or movement reports on Annie since Caitlyn threw him under the bus. He has no idea she has not gone back to the CIA and still effectively works for him.

"I'm not going as a CIA Operative, have you forgotten? I still work for you. CIA thinks it's too political now for an approach in Georgia, in the aftermath of the lack of vetting on the Mueller intel from Kravec, and not drilling deeper into Roger Benenet's intel, and jumping to conclusions about your involvement. Langley is playing it safe and reviewing all their protocols. It's driving Calder crazy. It will be another week or so before they decide what to do with the evidence and my gut says we don't have another week and you know how good my instincts are," says Annie with a smile.

McQuaid winces a bit as he shifts, "Really? Then as your boss, I'm taking you off the task, you are off this mission and don't have permission to go."

Annie's smile disappears. She is irritated, sighs and with a a bit of harshness responds, "Permission? So, it starts here."

"What starts?"

Annie gets up from the bed to distance herself physically from McQuaid.

"McQuaid, you just showed, you can't separate your emotions from the work. And this is an example of why I don't want to mix business with pleasure. I know you believe we can have it all, but we can't, at least we can't without complications."

He notes that she went from calling him Ryan to McQuaid, a sign she's drawn a line. . . again. He counters with using her surname too to show her this isn't personal.

"Walker, you're no robot. Emotions are always at play. The reason I don't want you to go has nothing to do with what is between us. I have no regrets and I don't want any when it comes to you. The CIA is right, we don't know enough about Belenko yet. He knows you are onto him. You are at a tactical disadvantage going there alone and without back up."

Annie retorts, "Now you're talking about my medical condition? Something you said was none of my employer's in the past. But now that you're the employer, you suddenly want to use it to sideline me? In case you forgot, I helped you figure things out with Caitlyn. You know what? You're right, I am at a disadvantage. My head can't be in the game if I have you in my head. Just because we made love that night doesn't mean you now get to control me or my missions."

Annie grabs her purse and starts for the door.

"What the hell Annie? When have I ever let my feelings for you or your heart condition change how I treat you in the field?"

And some machines start beeping. Annie stops and looks concerned.

"Where's the call button, why isn't anyone coming to check on you? Look, just calm down, this isn't the time, I'm sorry for getting you worked up, let me go find some help."

Ryan goes on pointedly, "I known you care about me, you put a lot on the line to help me. I care about you and don't want to see you hurt, I told you I lost my wife and it was hell, I don't want to lose you. I know you've lost people you loved too, but coping by isolating yourself isn't the solution. Believing you don't deserve an ounce of happiness isn't the answer either. Don't say you regret what happened between us because I don't. I don't want you to go, I want you to be here with me AND tactically, it's not the right time."

Annie can feel the heat rising in her body, but she didn't want to argue, the machines were going crazy and she was concerned for Ryan, but she had wired herself to guard her heart. She told herself she was also protecting him from being hurt. She had to face the fact that people around her get physically and emotionally hurt. She was tired of letting people down and being the common denominator. Annie's fatalistic outlook caused her to believe that her relationships would end tragically. It was hard to say whether her love of her job started first or if all the compounding events led her to use her job as a coping mechanism for avoiding emotional pain. Here she was though at another impasse. She had to choose between the field and a relationship.

As unpredictable as the field could be, she felt more ready to handle whatever came her way in the field than what could result from being with another person again. A small part of her wanted to be open and allow someone in her life, but she felt if she ever allowed someone to see her, all of her, it wouldn't be pretty. She didn't even want to go there and had avoided the dark parts of herself for so long. Before Ryan came along she accepted that she wasn't going to have it all. She was young and naïve when she allowed herself to believe she could do her job effectively and be a sister, girlfriend, aunt, or even a friend. Although Ryan was not like the other men she cared for and their relationship was not like any of her others, she did not allow herself to hope for a future. There was an honesty they shared that was refreshing, but she just couldn't let things progress at this point.

A nurse enters and says, "What's going on here?" She checks the machines which have stopped beeping. "Everything looks fine, but Mr. McQuaid needs his rest, visiting hours are over for now. He still needs to rest."

McQuaid flashes a smile, "How about 5 more minutes?" The nurse relents, "Okay 5 more minutes, but then OUT and no more visitors today."

Annie softens, takes a deep breath and finally says, "Ryan, I can't get into this now. I have a mission to focus on and you above all know, it's what I am wired for. You're the one who called me a shark. I need to have my head in the game and that can't happen if my heart is off somewhere else. It's what's kept me alive up until now."

"Annie, there's nothing wrong with self-preservation. I get it. I've spent the last ten years alone and mourning. I did what you did after initially wallowing in my grief. I poured myself into my work, my company, acquiring fast cars, I became an adrenalin junkie and chased dangerous missions for the fun of it. I enjoyed being scared, hunting, and not knowing what was going to come next. I understand you. I do. I didn't want to feel the pain of loss again. Not until I met you Annie. As much as I don't want you to, I won't stop you. But promise me you won't go into any situation alone and promise me you'll have plenty of medication on you."

Annie has tears in her eyes and nods to Ryan's request. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm glad you going to be fine. Don't worry about me and don't forget what I said about cleaning house." Annie leans down and kisses Ryan while putting her hands on his cheek. Ryan with some trouble brings his hand to her hand, he can't move to kiss her lips, but instead he kisses the palm of her hand and says, "Thank you again for trusting me and believing in me. Go get that son of a bitch. I want mission briefs at 0-700 hours and 1400 hours. Don't skip your call-ins or I'll come after you myself."

Annie smiles and leaves. "I'll set up a protocol with Arthur from the road, don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself."

Annie stops outside the hospital room to compose herself before heading to the airstrip. She is on a mission.

Ryan, takes a few deep breaths and wishes he weren't stuck in the hospital, damn that woman Caitlyn, he didn't expect she would shoot him, he was ready to take her in that bathroom, but he hesitated because of his friendship with her. Again, he underestimated her cunning and coldness. He wanted more than anything to board that plane with Annie and be in the field with her. She was right, he needed to get back to work and vet all his people. He wanted to send someone to keep an eye on