Chapter 16
BPOV
I was pleased to see how well everything was working out according to Edward's and my plan. We had the wolves firmly on our side, except for Paul who had unexpectedly disappeared. I knew how to take care of Paul though. All we needed to do was introduce Jacob's sister, Paul's imprint, into the picture, and Paul would become peaceful and compliant, not to mention firmly tied to Jacob. So, I wasn't terribly concerned about Paul's absence.
I watched with amusement from my high perch as the two groups tried to work out the details of the final competition. The werewolves had decided on their teams: Jacob and Embry, Sam and Jared, Quil and Seth. Leah was angry that none of the guys wanted her on their team, seeing her as the weak link, simply because she was female. The vampire teams were: Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Alice, and Emmett and Rosalie. Each vampire naturally chose their mate, believing they would have the best teamwork. After all, paddling a two person canoe was all about working together. If the two were not well matched, they would actually end up working against each other. Edward was frustrated, believing his mind reading skills would give him a distinct advantage in being able to work well with a partner. The wolves contended that it was good he wouldn't be competing as he should not be able to use his advantage to win the competition.
I suddenly had a great idea. "Listen up, everyone," I shouted to the crowd below. They all stopped and looked up at me. "I'm going to introduce one final team. If my team wins, I get to make the final verdict. Agreed?"
"Who's your team?" several of them shouted up to me.
"Edward and Leah. A vampire and a werewolf working together toward a common goal. I bet you all they will win."
They started laughing at me. "Yeah, right. Okay, sure, Bella. That's fine with us." I saw Edward and Leah exchange a glance and then look back at me. I motioned for them to come up and talk to me. They both climbed up the ladder and approached hesitantly.
"Look, both of you have something to prove, right? Leah, are you really going to let them dismiss your strength and prowess like that? To say you're not good enough because you're a girl? Edward, don't you want to show them just how useful your mind reading can be? How it can help you prevail even when your partner is someone you don't know well and is actually your natural enemy? I have faith in you, Leah, that you are just as strong and talented as the rest of the pack, and I have faith in you, Edward, that you can decipher Leah's intentions and accurately respond accordingly so that the two of you make the best team possible. Honestly, though, most of all, I want to show both groups that we are stronger together than we are separately. So, what do you say? Can you go kick their butts for me, and show them all that what we have all been working towards in terms of becoming one big family is the best possible choice for all of us? We are better together than apart. Besides, imagine how stupid they'll feel when you blast by them."
Edward and Leah both grinned at me and at each other. They nodded and bumped fists. Both of them gave me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head, before enthusiastically discussing strategy on the way back down to the river.
The race started and the wolves immediately took the lead, all being comfortable and familiar with the canoes, the paddles, and the river. Edward and Leah were on their heels. The vampire couples had to work harder at establishing a compatible rhythm. Carlisle and Esme were the first to get the hang of it. As the wolves pulled out in the lead, Alice was able to start using her visions again to anticipate Jasper's moves. Once she did that, they quickly started gaining on the wolves. Unfortunately, once they got within close proximity again, Alice's visions once more became dark. They were better than they had been now that they had at least tasted true cooperation. Emmett and Rose were having a very difficult time. They weren't working together at all and actually started going in circles. They started yelling at each other, each blaming the other for their lack of progress. Jasper sent them a wave of calm to counteract their anger, and then sent them a wave of lust, just for fun.
"Screw the canoe competition!" Rosalie griped. "Let's go find someplace private."
Emmett had a sudden epiphany. "No, Rose, that's it! It's just like sex! If we don't bump and grind at the same time, it's awkward and ineffective. Our thrusts have to be matched to the same rhythm. Think about last night. We'll go through the memory at the same time, and match our paddle strokes to our hip thrusts. That'll have us matching rhythms the way we do best!"
Rose got a big grin on her face. "Brilliant, Emmett! We are rather talented at matching our rhythms together, aren't we? Let's do it!"
They began thrusting their paddles through the water in perfect synchrony. Their eyes were glazed over, and it was clear to observers that half their minds were elsewhere. They started out slow and steady. Stroke…stroke…stroke…stroke…stroke.
After a few minutes, the pace increased. Stroke stroke stroke stroke stroke stroke.
After a few more minutes, their paddles were blurs.
They were both breathing hard by that point, seemingly unaware of anyone else around them as they pursued their goal with single-minded focus. As they neared the finish line, their paddles were moving at maximum vampire speed, faster than the human eye could process. As they crossed the finish line, they both screamed out "Yeessss! Oohh, yeessss! Yes, yes, yes!" With a few final strokes, they let the canoe glide gently over to the bank. Both of them seemed a bit spent, as Emmett jumped to the bank, pulled the canoe out of the water, gently picked up Rose into his arms, cradled her close to his chest, and reverently kissed her lips. Both of them moaned a contented sigh. Only then did they become aware of their audience, all of whom were caught between disgust and amusement.
Emmett shrugged and grinned. "Hey, it worked, didn't it?" We all started laughing. To my immense satisfaction and everyone else's surprise, Edward and Leah easily took first place. The combination of skill, talent, speed, strength, and knowledge won the day. Jacob and Sam and Emmett and Rose tied for second place. Jacob and Sam could have won if they hadn't gotten distracted by watching Emmett and Rose at the end, but then again, Emmett and Rose could have won if they had used their technique from the start of the race. I was happy it had turned out the way it had.
"Okay," I announced. "I hope this shows you all that werewolves and vampires are fairly evenly matched. Each side has strengths and weaknesses. Each individual brings different skills, gifts, and talents to the table. We are better together than we are apart. We may not need each other, but we are better off with each other than without." I could hear the murmuring of the crowd as they commented on my observations. I could only hope they were agreeing with me. "So, we need to accept each other as equals, as friends, and as family, and stop trying to one up each other all the time. Mix it up. I've been thinking about it, how we can identify one another as needed. All of us together are the Forks family. The vampires, plus me, are the Cullen family. Sam, Jared, Emily, Kim, and Paul are the Push Pack. Jacob, Embry, Quil, Leah, and Seth are the Black Pack. Additionally, Emily, Kim, Angela, Ben, and I are part of the People Pack. What do you think?"
Thankfully, everyone seemed to agree with me, and we went our separate ways in peace and harmony. I was happy to be alone with Edward for a while. We had been spending so much time and energy into forging this alliance and making sure it worked that we hadn't had as much couple time as I would have liked. Edward was on the same wavelength.
"Alone together at last," he whispered into my ear. "Whatever shall we do?"
I grinned up at him and gave him a gentle kiss on his smiling lips. "It's getting late. I need to get back to my house, fix dinner, and make sure I have everything ready for school tomorrow."
He groaned as he rubbed up against me. "How about we go pick something up for dinner, my treat? Then we'll have a little extra time to concentrate on each other."
My first thought was to protest, but a little voice in my head reminded me that I was supposed to be learning to accept gifts. Plus, I really, really wanted to have that extra time with him as much as he did, so I gave in gracefully. We picked up some Chinese food in town and had everything laid out and ready when Charlie got home. Charlie was thrilled, as I never usually picked Chinese. It wasn't one of my favourites, and I never realized my father had a taste for it. I felt a bit guilty. After all, I personally disliked rice, which made many dishes unappetizing to me right off the top. Charlie didn't share my aversion however, and had missed it a bit, for in truth, I rarely used it in my recipes. I preferred using shredded tortillas instead.
After dinner, I quickly got caught up on my homework and prepared everything for school the next day. As I finished my nightly routine, Edward appeared through the window. He shut the window behind him and joined me in my bed. I had turned on the electric blanket when I first got upstairs, so the bed was already nice and toasty warm. We snuggled close together and talked about how we felt the day had gone and what we felt the Forks family should do next.
"Our next major issue is the baseball game and the nomads," Edward mentioned worriedly. "I had planned to take you out of state at the time, but after the van accident, I'm not sure it's a good idea to try to completely avoid the situation. I hate the idea of you in danger though."
"I think we should invite the wolves to join us in our game of baseball. Then, when we know the nomads are close, we'll have the wolves hide in the woods downwind. As soon as the three nomads get close, the wolves will move into place to surround them. You and I will stay back behind the other Cullens. Once the nomads are surrounded, both groups will attack, kill James and Victoria, and let Laurent go find Irina. I think it is possible that without Victoria to draw him a way, he would have eventually gotten comfortable with the Denali's lifestyle, and I would hate to deprive Irina of the chance to have a mate," I suggested.
"I'm not sure about letting Laurent go, love. In Meyer's book he tried to kill you."
"I know, but he wouldn't have left Irina if Victoria hadn't guilted him into it."
"We all have choices to make. His choice in that universe demonstrates a weakness of character I cannot like."
"The same could be said of you, dear Edward, on multiple occasions in that universe. Laurent had nothing against me personally and would never have come after me without Victoria's interference.
Besides, this time around you're not going to leave me alone and defenseless, right?"
Edward looked rather embarrassed by my arguments. He couldn't deny them.
"Laurent deserves a chance to change his ways. Maybe this time around, with witnessing the deaths of James and Victoria and our alliance with the wolves, he'll be more determined to join us, through the Denali coven, rather than defy us. If he sees you in a position of power fighting and winning, rather than running and hiding, he will have more respect for you and a stronger desire to imitate your lifestyle."
Once again, he agreed with my arguments. I was thankful I was so much less intimidated by him, knowing he wasn't perfect and was just as in love with me as I was with him. It allowed me to come into my own, to express my thoughts and ideas without fear of being rejected or belittled. One of the best results was the respect I was garnering. I knew that without the confidence I now had that my relationship with both Edward and the Cullens would last forever, I would be much too shy and intimidated to express my thoughts so freely. Knowing the kind of person Stephenie Meyer had predicted I would become, someone strong enough to take on the entire Volturi family and guard without flinching, helped me to grow into that person so much faster. I expected myself to be strong and confident, due to the account I had read of my standoff with the royal vampires over my daughter's health and safety. Having those expectations of myself helped create a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I became the person I expected myself to be. Why did I always go off on these deep meaningful tangents at bedtime anyway?
To lighten things up, I decided to joke around with Edward a bit. "So, Edward, as the youngest baseball player in your family, does that make you the 'bat' boy?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You seriously thought that was amusing?"
I glared at him. "Well, yeah. I don't think a little vampire humor is amiss."
He sighed, resting on his back and throwing his arms over his eyes. "Fine, give me your best shot."
"Is this going to be like Rosalie is with blonde jokes? Are you going to be a spoilsport?"
He peeked at me out from under his arm, before covering his eyes again. He nodded his head. "Probably. I think Emmett has already told about every vampire joke in existence."
"A challenge! You've issued me a challenge!"
He groaned and shook his head. "Heaven help me."
I laughed. "Suffer, batboy. You didn't laugh when you should have. Hey, wait a minute. Does that have anything to do with Emmett's obsession with Batman—you know, the whole vampire/bat thing?"
Edward pursed his lips but refused to say anything.
"Okay, so since we're dating now, does that make me your ghoul friend?"
He groaned. I smiled. This was fun.
"Or are you happy with your 'bat'chelor status."
He groaned louder, but his lips twitched a bit.
"I'm not a supermodel or anything. I'm just the girl necks door."
He actually chuckled a little at that one, before quickly suppressing his amusement.
"I'm glad you've got such good self-control. If you'd lost control when we first met, we could easily have suffered love at first bite."
He frowned at that one. Hmm, okay, take that one out of the comedy routine. If Emmett, Rosalie, and Jacob were competing, I figured I wanted a chance too.
"What's your favorite holiday, Halloween or Fangsgiving?"
He simply shook his head. Gotta toss that one too, I guess… rats.
"So tell me how does sheep blood taste? Is it baaaaad?"
He grinned at that one. Ah, a keeper!
"I'm kind of surprised you prefer mountain lions. I would have thought your favorite animal would be the giraffe. Badumpum."
He shook his head, but he was smiling, so I knew it was still a good one. Okay, so one more.
"So, now that the wolves are friends with the vampires, do you think we should call them blood hounds?"
Edward started laughing. Yes! I did it! I got him! He removed his arm, placing it around me instead, so he could look me in the eye.
"Not to their faces!" he replied with a grin. I laughed too. We enjoyed a few kisses before I finally had to give up the fight and let sleep take me. As I started to drift off, I thought about Mike and wondered what the repercussions would be at school tomorrow. I listened to Edward humming my lullaby and figured he'd see me through it no matter what. So with a happy smile and a peaceful heart, I drifted off in the arms of the one I love.
BPOV
We were sitting around the lunch table, waiting for Edward to explain what had happened with Mike/Michelle on Friday night. The poor boy had been having a rough morning. Almost every kid in the school had seen the YouTube video, and those that hadn't had now watched it on their friends' internet enabled electronic devices, such as cell phones and palm pilots. Mike had been getting propositioned and jeered on all sides, being called Michelle most of the time. Even the teachers seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face as they tried to maintain order and address him as Mike.
I was starting to feel bad for Mike, despite what he had done, and it was clear Angela was upset as well.
"How could you leave him with Jessica and Lauren like that?" she demanded of Edward. Edward shrugged.
"He confessed to having been a Peeping Tom for several of their slumber parties, and he got much more of an eyeful there than he did at our house. I felt it was only fair for the girls to dispense their own justice, though I didn't tell them what he had done."
Rose appeared outraged on behalf of females everywhere at the news. Edward hadn't told anyone else about that. "Bastard got what he deserved," she muttered angrily.
Angela had been appropriately shocked and appalled at the news. She took a few moments to collect herself. Then she realized that she herself had attended some of their slumber parties, and her anger grew. "You mean that jerkoff has spied on me before and seen me in my nightclothes?"
Edward nodded, giving her a sympathetic look.
"On second thought, I want to thank you, Edward, for what you did. I believe what comes around goes around. He's just finally getting what comes to him."
Everyone at the table agreed, given the new information. It was past time for Mike to learn his lesson.
"Okay, so tell us all the juicy details from Friday night, Edward," Emmett coaxed. "We want the inside story from Jessica's and Lauren's viewpoints."
Edward grinned. "Okay, here goes: Jessica recognized Mike almost immediately, despite the makeup, due to her enduring crush on him. She told Lauren, and the two of them began hatching evil plots. They helped him into Jessica's living room and sat him on the couch. He was still a bit groggy, but starting to come out of it. He recognized them, but didn't realize his own clothing was amiss. Jessica set up the video camera, while Lauren distracted him.
"Once it was recording, Jessica put on some music and then asked Mike to perform a strip tease. He eagerly agreed, but halted in confusion when he realized he was wearing a dress. At that point, he decided he must be having a vivid dream, as he couldn't recollect dressing that way or going over to Jessica's house. Upon deciding he was dreaming, he really cut loose, releasing all his inhibitions. He performed the strip tease until he was down to his boxers. The girls told him to stop and leave them in place. He was disappointed, but complied. Then the girls told him he shouldn't have been wearing panty hose with hairy legs. They insisted he shave his legs. They provided him with shaving cream and a razor and sat down to watch. Figuring it was a dream, albeit a strange one, he complied. The strip tease was caught on tape and posted on YouTube, but the leg shaving was not. Now Mike is dreading gym and is desperately trying to come up with excuses not to dress in his gym uniform, knowing the shorts will expose his remaining secrets.
"Jessica and Lauren teased him a bit more, making him say all kinds of silly things, which they managed to record, but are saving for a later date. Then Jessica kindly took him to pick up his SUV, which was parked at the bar where I left it. He drove himself home in nothing but boxers, tucked himself into bed, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night. Jessica and Lauren have been spreading the story of how Mike's lover left him at the bar, and he was so distraught that a neighbor, not recognizing him in drag, had brought him to her house, as he kept saying her name. That pretty much sums it up and brings us up to speed.
Alice's eyes glazed over as she processed a vision. She came out of it with a huge grin, one that was matched on Edward's face.
"Okay, what is it?" I asked impatiently. Obviously, something hilarious was going to happen soon.
"Everybody meet up outside the back door of the gym right after school lets out, okay?" Alice suggested. Everyone except Angela and Ben started grinning and nodded their acceptance of the plan.
"Why?" Angela asked in confusion.
"You won't want to miss the show!" Alice exclaimed excitedly. With that as her final note, she dumped her uneaten food in the trash and danced off to class with Jasper at her side. Rosalie and Emmett also chose to head out of the cafeteria. The rest of us stayed a few more minutes to finish eating, before heading off to Biology.
"What show?" Angela asked me as we walked to our building.
"Angela, have you noticed anything special about Alice?" I asked cautiously.
"You mean how she always seems to know things? How she gives you things before you ask, how she answers the phone before it rings, that sort of thing?" I had to give Angela credit. She was more observant than the Cullens had realized. I saw Edward looking at her in surprise. Apparently, she had even kept her suspicions on the subconscious level whenever she was around us for him to have missed them.
I nodded. "Exactly. Well, she sometimes gets strong vibes about things, and she's always right! So, if she thinks something interesting is going to happen behind the gym after school, then she is most likely correct."
In biology, the teacher put on a movie. It was a boring one about cells that I had already seen in Phoenix, so I took advantage of the time to have a little fun with Edward. I looked over at him as soon as the teacher rolled the TV cart into the room. He gave me his crooked grin, and I knew he was operating on the same wavelength. As soon as the lights were out, we scooted our chairs together until our thighs were touching. He slipped his hand on my knee, and I slipped mine on his. He slowly started rubbing circles on the inside of my leg, and I copied his behavior. He clapped his legs together to stop my hand from moving, so I did the same. He smirked down at me, since my legs were not strong enough to stop his movement, but he had effectively trapped my hand between his.
"No fair!" I breathed, knowing he would hear me fine, but no one else in the class would.
"Someone once told me life isn't fair," he whispered directly into my ear. I shivered at the feel of his lips and cool breath on my ear. I dug my fingers into his leg, where he had my hand trapped and he chuckled.
"Release my hand!" I demanded under my breath.
"Sorry, beautiful, but I'm keeping it prisoner," he teased.
"That's kidnapping!" I protested, pretending to be upset.
"Actually, I think it's handnapping. Besides, the hand was trespassing."
"Your hand is trespassing!"
"Ah, but your traps are not as good as mine," he taunted, sliding his hand further up my leg, halfway between my knee and my private area, and resumed rubbing in circular patterns.
"Release my hand, or I'll call the cops," I mock threatened as my heart rate increased.
"Charlie's busy right now. If you want your hand back, you'll have to pay the ransom," he replied slyly. My imagination immediately went running wild.
"What's the ransom?" I asked, blushing heavily.
His grin took on an evil tilt as he waggled his eyebrows. "Do you agree to pay it?"
"I don't know what it is. I'm not agreeing to paying a ransom that I don't know what it is," I protested.
"Then I guess I'm keeping this hand," he murmured, squeezing it gently between his legs.
"Mine doesn't reattach so easily if you remove it," I griped.
"Who said anything about removing it?"
"So I guess you'll be going into the girls' bathroom with me then?" I arched a brow. Yeah, that'll be the day.
"What makes you think you'll be able to go anywhere?"
I growled very quietly in frustration. "I'm going to tell your mommy on you," I threatened. He laughed under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear.
"Is that the best you can do? Isn't that something a first grader would say?"
I mock punched him with my other hand, not wanting to injure myself. I knew another one that usually worked with first graders.
"I'll be your best friend…" I promised.
He looked at me in amused disbelief. "Alice would be so disappointed."
"C'mon," I whined, tugging on my hand. "I want it back. Don't make me throw a temper tantrum. I can regress even further, you know."
He started edging his hand higher on my thigh, subtly, like I might not notice.
"Are you ready to pay the ransom?" he asked, his velvet voice tickling my insides.
"What's the ransom?"
"If you give your word of honour to pay it, I'll tell you what it is on the way home. I'll release the hostage to you on my faith that you will keep your word."
This was insane! Who would take a deal like that? It would be like handing him a blank check. At least it was Edward and not Emmett. Making that kind of deal with Emmett would be tantamount to suicide. Did I trust Edward to make his prize a reasonable one? Did I trust him not to take advantage of me? I didn't like those questions. They made me insecure. I realized there was another way to look at it though. Truthfully, was there anything I wouldn't do for him if he asked me to do it? That one was pretty easy to answer. I would do anything for him, even if he did take advantage of the situation. That was my answer.
"Okay, Edward, I give you my word of honour to pay your ransom demand," I agreed resignedly.
He opened his legs just enough for me to withdraw my hand. "Muahaha, I've got you now, my pretty!"
"And my little dog too?" I asked, recognizing the line from the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz.
"Let's leave Jacob out of this, shall we?" he drawled.
I giggled. "I don't think he counts as a little dog. More like massively huge."
He smirked. "I know how to take your mind off of him," he tormented, brushing his knuckles against the crease in my jeans. I gasped and closed my legs tightly around his hand, but that only increased the sensation. I felt myself lubricating and saw him sniffing appreciatively, wearing his crooked smile. I got lost in his eyes and clutched his arm with my hands.
"What were we talking about?" he asked, lightly brushing his lips against mine.
"Hmmm?" I moaned, unable to concentrate. I shrugged. I was sure it wasn't important, whatever it was. He chuckled at my air of distraction.
Suddenly, he turned my head to face the television, put my hands on the table, withdrew his hand from between my thighs, put both of his hands on top of the table, and stared fixedly at the television. All of that only took a second or two. My mind was still whirling, trying to process what had happened, when I saw the teacher get up quietly and start to make a circuit of the classroom. He nodded approvingly at us as my eyes met his. He noted our proximity, but also saw both of our hands up on the table in plain view and smiled benignly.
He continued his patrol and caught another couple doing things similar to what we had been doing just moments before. They didn't have the advantage of mind reading on their side, so they were caught red handed and red cheeked. He sent them to the office with a referral of inappropriate PDA (public display of affection).
I breathed a sigh of relief that we weren't the ones making that walk of shame. I definitely didn't want to have to face Charlie if I ever got one of those.
"I knew there was some reason I wanted a mind reading super-fast vampire boyfriend," I teased. "Guess it does come in handy sometimes after all."
He grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. "Careful, my dear. It wouldn't be wise to provoke me before I collect my ransom."
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He chuckled again and whispered, "Don't stick it out unless you intend to use it."
Quick as a wink, I leaned over and licked his neck, following the lick with a love bite. He growled lightly in response to the sensation. Then he looked down at me with a superior expression and quipped, "Stop being such a pain in the neck."
"Bite me, batboy," I growled in response, hiding my amusement.
"Oh, I will," he promised seductively. "Believe me; I have every intention of fulfilling that request."
"Promises, promises," I snarked. He leaned over to me and snapped his teeth right below my ear.
"If you play with fire, expect to get burned," he warned.
"Well, I am a danger magnet," I replied saucily. "With no sense of self-preservation."
He grinned. "That you are, my dear, that you are."
A few minutes later, the bell rang and we headed off to our next class. Edward escorted me to the gym, as usual. He caressed my cheek and lightly pressed his lips to mine. "I look forward to seeing you after school. I hate to be parted from you, but you're always in my thoughts. Think of me too, love," he murmured against my lips. I returned his kiss with all the love in my heart. "I always do," I whispered as he took a step back. I watched him walk gracefully backwards to his class before slipping into the locker room to change into my gym uniform.
Poor Mike had a tough time of it when everyone saw his bare legs. Several of the guys whistled at him, making him blush. To his credit, he ignored everyone and tried to pretend there was nothing amiss. The PE teacher soon had everyone settled down and busy, and Mike got a temporary reprieve from the teasing.
As soon as gym let out, I took the back door out of the locker room. Edward was already there waiting. Alice and the others soon joined us, and Alice showed us where to stand. A few minutes later, Mike came out of the back door of the boys' locker room. Before he got more than ten feet away from the gym, another boy exited from the same door Mike had. His name was Shawn Adams, and his father was one of the local ministers. Shawn was quiet and reserved, but he was oddly feminine for someone 6'4" tall and 220 pounds. He looked like he ought to be on the football team, but he preferred the drama club. Mike was visibly upset by the difficult day he had today, and he didn't even notice Shawn behind him.
Shawn grabbed Mike before he reached the corner of the building and wrapped him in a hug. "Don't let them upset you, Mike. You have nothing to be ashamed of here. You should be proud of who you are. After all, it's not a choice, you're born this way. I'll help you through it."
Mike pulled back and looked up at Shawn in surprise. "Thanks, Shawn. At least somebody is on my side."
Shawn grinned at him, grabbed his face with both hands, and passionately kissed him. As soon as he let go, Mike stumbled backward in shock. His mouth was moving, but no sound came out. Shawn took the initiative again, and threw his arm around Mike's shoulders.
"Don't worry, Mikey. Anybody who wants to hurt you has to come through me first, and I don't let people mess with my boyfriend," Shawn promised. We could hear Mike's panicked whimpering, but he made no move to correct his protector. As soon as they were out of hearing distance, we all burst out laughing.
"Looks like Michelle has found herself a man!" Rosalie exclaimed with amusement. "Living proof that even ugly people can get dates."
"Well, we can't all be drop dead gorgeous like you are, Rose," I complained. "Besides, I think Edward and I already prove that theory."
"Yeah, Edward is pretty ugly, at least compared to me," Emmett teased.
"Why, Bella, I feel quite insulted. Who knew you secretly considered me ugly?" Edward continued.
"Get real!" I protested. "Obviously, I am the plain one."
"If you're trying to make me feel better, it isn't working," Edward grumbled. "We all know you're the beauty, so I guess that makes me the beast."
I shook my head. He was so silly sometimes. "Fine, you're the beast. You do realize that as soon as the girl loved him he turned into a handsome prince, right?"
He grinned. "I thought it was when she said she loved him and then gave him a kiss. Maybe you should try that." Before I could agree, Alice interrupted our banter.
"Yes, he has been a veritable beast for a long time, but ever since he met you, he's gradually becoming human again. Way to go, sis, for taming the wild and savage beast."
We all snickered at that as Edward gave a bow to his sister. "Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. No, really, thank you, thank you." He was really hamming it up. Emmett was watching him in awe.
"Dude, I never realized you actually have a sense of humor! Where on earth have you been hiding it?"
On that note, we all left to go home. Angela and Ben stopped to thank Alice for the show. "I wouldn't have wanted to miss it!" Angela admitted with a twinkle in her eye. On her way to her car, she gave Jessica a Cheshire grin, revelling in the knowledge that she had a juicy tidbit of gossip that Jessica would have killed to get her hands on, but that she had no intention of sharing with her. Jessica stared after her with a frown, wondering what Angela knew that she didn't. She looked at us and our smirks and knew we knew something interesting and newsworthy, but that we didn't intend to tell her. She nearly tore her hair out in frustration. Ahhh, the pleasures of being a Cullen.
BPOV
I sat nervously in the car next to Edward, waiting for the sword to fall. He stared straight ahead with a smug smile on his face, thought I knew he was watching me from the corner of his eye. I fidgeted in my seat, getting more and more anxious as the minutes ticked by, and he seemed to be getting some sick sense of pleasure out of my agitation. He must have been taking pranking lessons from Emmett. I expected this sort of torture from Emmett, but this was a first for Edward. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.
"What is the ransom?" I blurted, clenching my fists. He started chuckling, eyeing my heaving chest, my red face, and my sparkling eyes.
"You're beautiful when you're agitated," he murmured smoothly. I growled, not appreciating his amusement at my expense. He gave me his innocent cherub expression, and I couldn't help smiling. I forgot for a second and got lost in his melting pools of liquid topaz. I forgot everything but him and how much I loved him and enjoyed being in his company.
"Breathe, Bella," he whispered with an amused smirk. I took a deep breath and blinked. The blink cut off the connection long enough for me to drop my gaze. After a few more seconds, my reasons for being upset came rushing back to me.
"No fair dazzling me, Edward Cullen!" I raged. "Stupid gorgeous vampire."
"But you were dazzling me," he protested with a grin. "I figured turnabout was fair play."
I scoffed. "I don't dazzle you!"
"Oh, but you do, my dear," he declared quietly, completely serious this time. "You make me forget everything and everyone until I want nothing more than to give you the moon."
"Really?"
He gave me a half smile, but it wasn't amused. "Really. I don't think you have any idea what you do to me or how much power you actually wield over me. I'm not sure I want you to know either. You are a very dangerous creature, my Bella. I do believe you will be the death of me."
At first, I was intrigued and enamoured of the idea of wielding power over him. I wanted to experiment with that power, mainly in the age old way of women conquering the devotion of the men they love. With his last statement though, I became instantly angry.
"I can't be the death of you, Edward, as you are already dead!" I spat, hissing like an angry kitten. He smiled patiently at me.
"Actually, love, I believe you will be the death of the 'me' I was before I met you. Everybody seems to prefer the new Edward Cullen anyway, including me. I'm definitely a lot more fun to be around. I'm even better than the Edward in Meyer's books. Don't you think?"
I thought about how overprotective and annoying that Edward could be. Obsessed with keeping me human, obsessed with maintaining strict boundaries, always keeping secrets from me. Yes, this Edward was much better, but I didn't want to feed his ego too much.
"Perhaps," I allowed. "But I still see some room for improvement."
He grinned. "Just like a woman. Ask Esme, and I'm sure she'll tell you that she loves Carlisle more than anything else, that he is absolutely perfect, but that he still has room for improvement. Try to narrow her down on what exactly he needs to improve, and she'll just narrow her eyes and tell you it's none of your business. For the first fifty years, she could always come up with an answer to that question, and he would always work on whatever it was, but now she will never tell. She slipped once in her mind though. She loves him just the way he is and ran out of complaints, but she doesn't want him to get complacent and take her for granted."
"Humph!" I grumped. "I wonder how many decades it'll take you to get to that point. Carlisle was pretty perfect already by the time he and Esme got together. It looks like you'll be busy for next several centuries."
He laughed at my complaint. "Just be glad you're not with Emmett."
I paled and gulped at the thought. "Poor Rose! She's going to have answers for millennia!"
He laughed again. I noticed we bypassed the turn to go to my house. Later, I noticed we bypassed the turn for his house. "Where are we going?"
"To the meadow. I thought we could use a little alone time together." He heard my heart rate increase, as I released an anticipatory moan. He wagged his finger at me. "Not like that, my wanton fiancé. I wanted to be able to talk to you without being interrupted or overheard." He could see the huge look of disappointment cover my face. He reached over and gently squeezed my leg. "Though I suppose if you're a really good girl, we might find time for other things as well."
I grinned at him and arched my brow. "Other things."
"Hmmm, yes perhaps we'll do a little cloud watching, or pick wildflowers," he suggested with amusement, trying to push my buttons.
"Or perhaps we'll just make mad, passionate love under the clouds on top of the wildflowers," I countered smoothly. I saw him swallow heavily at my words and shift in his seat uncomfortably. Hah! Two could play this game. I could torture him as much as he tortured me.
He groaned. "Bella, you know I don't want to go that far until we're married."
"Are you going to play the whole chastity card again? Because as far as I'm concerned, once we've made our vows to one another in front of witnesses, then we are married. The Bible doesn't say anything about requiring a big ceremony or a piece of paper to make it official."
"Bella, are you forgetting how fertile we are together?"
"Have you ever heard of birth control?"
"It's not 100% effective, and I doubt any of it has been tested against vampire sperm."
"True. Hmm. Vampire sperm. Think how fast those little suckers must swim. Not to mention how strongly they would attack the membrane around the egg. Have you ever studied them under a microscope? Do they look like human sperm on steroids? Do they look like human sperm stuck on fast forward? Do they look like human sperm at all?"
He gave me an odd look. "I've never thought to study it," he admitted, looking a bit uncomfortable. I started bouncing in my seat, rubbing my palms together.
"Oooooh, I can't wait to talk to Carlisle! What time does he get home tonight? We are going to have so much fun! Finally, we can bond over something other than me getting injured and him fixing me."
His discomfort increased significantly. "You're planning on bonding with Carlisle by studying the characteristics of vampire sperm with him?"
"Yep," I replied, nodding eagerly.
"And where exactly where you planning on getting this vampire sperm?" he asked pointedly. I blushed. I hadn't thought that far ahead.
"Weeellll, I suppose I could help you provide a sample for us," I suggested calmly.
He choked and started coughing. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me," I accused grumpily. "I don't need to repeat it."
"Have you lost your ever-loving mind?" he shouted. I glared at him, folding my arms across my chest. "You want me to provide a sample of my reproductive substances so you and my father can play with it? Do you realize how sick that is?"
I glared at him some more, but he didn't back down. "Fine! I'm sure Emmett will be all too willing to help us out in the name of science."
"What? No way! NO freaking way! You are not going to ask Emmett to give you his sperm! Are you utterly insane?" He was practically frothing at the mouth.
"No, but I think you are," I sneered. "Are you sure you didn't drink from an animal with rabies on your last hunt?"
He stared at me in shock, opened his mouth and then shut it again. He pulled to a stop at the end of the road leading toward the meadow. He rubbed his hands over his face and took a few deep breaths.
"How about we talk about this idea later, okay? This isn't the discussion I brought you here to have," he begged, willing me to let it go for now. I didn't want to fight with him either, especially during one of our few alone moments. I smiled at him.
"Sure, honey. Let's go ahead and get to the meadow. This other discussion can wait," I agreed. He gave me my favourite crooked smile.
"Thank you, Bella. Besides, I still have a ransom to collect."
My heart beats started pounding in staccato. "Mmmm. So you do, Mr. Cullen, so you do."
We got out, and he helped me onto his back. The speed still made me nervous, so I closed my eyes and tucked my head into his shoulder. In no time at all, we were there in the beautiful, peaceful place that was our favourite getaway spot. He spread out a blanket for us to sit on, and gestured for me to have a seat. I smiled my thank you, then grabbed his hand and pulled him down with me. I knew he wouldn't have budged, no matter how hard I pulled, if he didn't desire it, so I gave him a kiss once he was on my level again. He grinned and kissed me back.
After a minute or two, I pulled back and looked at him through my lashes. "So, Mr. Cullen, it appears we have some business to conduct. A little matter of ransom?"
He grinned again. "Indeed so, Miss. Swan. I have thought long and hard about what I wish to ask for in return for your hand. Several of my ideas would definitely spark your blush, my dear, but I don't ever want to have physical intimacy be a bargaining chip between us. Rose does it all the time with Emmett, and I feel like it demeans the act and the feelings behind the act. It boils it down to a commodity to be bought, sold, and traded. I want our physical acts of intimacy to always be freely given expressions of our love for one another, never forced or obligated or withheld purely out of spite. I then considered asking you to accept the Corvette as your own and donate the truck to Leah."
I started shaking my head. He smiled knowingly.
"I guessed you would balk at that idea, though it would be nice. I then thought about deciding that for an entire month I could spend money on you to my heart's content, anytime, any amount, anywhere, and you would agree not to utter a single complaint."
I grimaced, hoping he hadn't decided on that one. He laughed at my expression.
"You look like you just swallowed a bug. Finally, I decided I want you to agree to the whole Prom experience with not just no complaints, but actively trying to enjoy it."
It was my turn to look at him like he was crazy. "Define the 'whole Prom experience'."
"The fancy clothes, the fancy dinner, the fancy car, the dance itself, the pictures, and the after-Prom party."
"What about the other Prom tradition?" I asked carefully.
He was confused. "What other Prom tradition?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you've heard it in others' thoughts. Have you seen the movie American Pie?"
He thought about it for a minute or two before his expression darkened. "Isabella Marie Swan, we've already had this discussion. You and I will be signing the Prom promise cards. That is part of the whole Prom experience."
"What are the Prom promise cards?"
"The cards they pass out at school before the prom, on which you give your written promise to abstain from sexual activity on prom night."
"They really have those?"
"Yes, they do. I've seen them at the past three high schools I've attended."
"Bummer!"
He growled at me. "It is not a 'bummer'." He started singing, "We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Oh, no. We could dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine. Uh,huh."
I giggled. "So you're going to drink some cherry wine?"
He rolled his eyes. "Of course not."
"So you're going to let me drink cherry wine?"
He frowned. "I don't think that would be a good idea."
"Oookaaay, so the song doesn't really apply, does it?"
He growled again. "So change it to cherry soda."
I snickered. "Then it wouldn't rhyme."
"Well, time and wine don't rhyme anyway, so who cares?"
"Soda has too many syllables. It throws off the rhythm."
"So change it to lime. Time and lime both rhyme and it has only one syllable."
"Drink some cherry lime?"
"Yes."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It's short for cherry lime juice. Or cherry limeade."
I just stared at him. He shrugged defensively. "What difference does it make?" he asked, aggravated.
"Whatever."
He shook his head again. "You drive me crazy, and I can't help myself," he sang.
"You brought me here to serenade me with '80s music?"
He took a deep breath and sighed wearily. "No, I came here to talk about Prom, remember?"
"Are they having an '80s theme? Or music of the previous century theme?"
"No, it's going to be a cruise ship theme."
"Like the Titanic?"
"Very funny."
"So who's organizing the after-Prom party, as if I have to ask? It wouldn't happen to be my best friend, would it?"
He grinned. "Got it in one. She wants your help planning the theme."
I groaned. Stupid, future seeing, party loving, shopaholic pixie. No doubt she has already picked out our prom dresses. I wouldn't put it past her to have already ordered my wedding dress, for that matter.
"Well, at least you aren't going to have a broken leg," Edward remarked comfortingly.
"Hush, don't say that. At the rate we're going, I'll probably be in a wheelchair instead. Don't tempt fate, Edward. I don't think it likes me very much."
"If you were anybody else, I'd laugh at you right now, but somehow I can't help but wonder if you're correct," he mused.
"I just wish I knew what I did to make it mad in the first place."
"Well, honey, you're so unpredictable, maybe you just caught it off guard. I'm not sure fate would like that very much."
I laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Catching fate off guard. Talk about an oxymoron."
"Like ugly vampire, fun high school, serious Emmett, and intelligent werewolf."
"Watch it, Cullen. No insulting my friends."
"Didn't you get the memo, Swan? You're allowed to insult your own family, but nobody else is allowed to say anything against them."
"I see."
"I'm glad you do."
"I see you're full of bull."
"No, I can't say I've ever tasted a bull. I doubt their blood tastes any better than cow's blood, and I've tried that."
This time I shook my head. How on earth had we gotten on this topic anyway?
"Okay, Edward, do you have anything interesting to say? Because I'm not getting dragged into a discussion about cow's blood."
He smirked. "You were about to give me your word of honour to willingly and actively participate in the whole Prom experience."
I wrinkled my nose. Ugh. He frowned. "You agreed to pay the ransom, Bella. Are you going back on your word? Am I going to have to hold your hand hostage again?"
"Well, now that we're here without witnesses, I wouldn't mind giving you my hand back."
"So you're breaking your promise?"
"Fine, Edward. I will willingly and actively participate in the whole Prom experience, but in exchange, I get to pick the theme for the after-Prom party."
He frowned. "I'll have to check with Alice."
"I pick the theme or it's a no go."
"We'll see."
"Not good enough."
"Fine, you pick the theme, I'll take care of Alice."
I smiled and kissed him. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?