Chapter 22
BPOV
"EARTHQUAKE!" I shouted, bolting upright in the bed, only to be met with three tinkling giggles. My whole world was shaking rhythmically, making it hard for my bleary, sleep encrusted eyes to focus properly.
"Yeah, laugh it up," I muttered. "You aren't the ones who'll be crushed under all the debris."
The bouncing stopped, as my energetic pixie dropped to her bottom on the bed beside me. "Silly Bella! There's no earthquake! I was merely jumping up and down on your bed."
I groaned and flopped back onto my pillow, closing my eyes. "Why?" I whined pathetically.
She started shaking my shoulder. "Up and at 'em, lazybones. Rise and shine! The sun is up and so should you be. It's time to go shopping!"
"Are you sure the sun is up?" I moaned, keeping my eyes closed.
"Be thankful we kept her off you this long," Rose called from the other room. "She didn't like you wasting perfectly good shopping hours on something as mundane as sleeping."
Alice huffed and spread the curtains wide open, letting the sunshine come pouring in, hitting my face. My eyelids were glowing red with the force of the brightness. I slowly lifted my lids, giving my pupils time to adjust. Wait a minute. Bright, glaring sunshine? We weren't going anywhere! How could we?
"Uh, Alice? I know it was cloudy last night when we got here, which worked out perfectly for us, but right now the sun is out in full force," I mentioned hesitantly, hating to kill her mood. "How are we going to go shopping without all of you sparkling?"
Alice laughed. "Oh, no. You don't get out of it that easily. This is L.A.—home of the wealthy eccentrics. We'll wear long sleeves, long pants, gloves, and wide-brimmed floppy hats. Additionally, we'll put on an extra layer of sun blocking foundation. If anybody asks, you can tell them we're deathly afraid of getting skin cancer, so we go above and beyond to avoid any unnecessary sun exposure."
I nodded, thinking that might actually work.
"Plus, I've hired a limo to take us from place to place. You know, the smog works in our favor as well, as it refracts some of the sunlight before it hits us. On heavier smog days, we would barely sparkle at all. On a day like today, we would still sparkle much less than we would on a sunny day in Forks. In fact, we might even be able to get away with insisting it's simply body glitter. We wouldn't be the only people in town wearing it," Alice continued.
I grinned at the thought. "I want some body glitter, Alice. I want to sparkle like you guys do."
"Sure thing, Bella," Rose replied with a grin, coming to stand by my bed. "I wonder what Edward would think. You know, if we picked up some bright red contacts like the movie people use, we could really scare the crap out of him on the next sunny day."
"I'm in," I cheered, laughing at the thought of how he would react to suddenly finding newborn Bella waiting in the meadow. "How long do you think it would take him to figure out my heart was still beating?"
"Oooohh! That would be a good subject for a bet!" Rose exclaimed. "Don't tell anyone, Alice!"
Esme strolled into the room, amusement shining on her face. "Are you three trying to give my poor son a heart attack?"
"He does like to say I'll be the death of him," I pointed out wryly.
Rose raised an eyebrow in confusion. "But he's already dead."
"I know."
"So, what on earth is that supposed to mean?" she wondered.
"Heck if I know," I snapped. "I swear that boy just needs to get a life!"
"Ummm, Bella?" Rose asked. I nodded. "He's already dead."
"I know," I griped. "That's why he really needs to get a life!"
The other three laughed at me.
"Well, when you figure out where he can get one, be sure to let me know," Rose teased.
I grinned. "I think I heard a local car dealership advertising a 'lifetime event'. Perhaps we can get one there."
They groaned at my meagre pun, and there was a knock on the front door of the suite.
"Ah, breakfast is here, my dear," Esme announced, moving toward the door. "Why don't you get ready to face the day, and then come enjoy your breakfast before it gets cold?"
"Yes, Mom," I answered with a grin. She smiled and winked.
After breakfast, we made our way to the shops.
"Where are we going, Alice?" I asked, not really caring since I didn't have a say either way, but wanting to get some idea of our destination.
"There is a particular designer who I think will have dresses for all of us. She is not as famous as some others I usually use, but she has done work for some of the local celebrities. Since we are short on time, I decided it would be better to go to a smaller shop where we can get the type of customer service we deserve," she explained.
"Sounds good to me," I replied casually.
She grinned. "I didn't even tell you her name."
"Oh, yeah, right. So, uh, who is she?" I stuttered.
"Jovani," she announced, as if I should know that name. Frankly, I'd never hear of her before. Apparently Rose had though, as she merely raised her eyebrows in slight surprise and then nodded her head in acceptance. I simply stared at her blankly.
"Do you know what that means, Bella?" Rose asked with a smirk.
I nodded solemnly. "Expensive."
My family all chuckled, shaking their heads. "Bella, Bella, Bella, whatever are we going to do with you?"
"Keep me and love me forever?" I suggested, grinning happily.
"You are something else, Bella dear," Esme gently teased.
"Yeah, I'm something, alright, only nobody's figured out what yet," I muttered cheekily.
Alice giggled, giving me a hug. "I think crazy about covers it."
"Hey, I wasn't the one locked up in a mental institution," I protested. Alice withdrew, looking sad. I felt bad for bringing that up. No doubt she felt utterly abandoned by her human family. "That doesn't mean I don't belong in one though. I mean how many human teenage girls do you know that hate shopping and feel most comfortable when surrounded by vampires?"
Alice recovered and grinned. "Yeah, if you'd grown up in my time period, we'd have likely been wearing matching straitjackets and sharing a padded cell."
"Well, considering the number of times I trip and fall, padded walls might be a good idea for me," I quipped.
"Isn't that the truth?" Rose agreed.
"That's one human characteristic I can't wait to lose!" I enthused. "That, and the blushing."
"But if you stop tripping and blushing, what is poor Emmett going to do for entertainment?" Rose jokingly complained.
"Well, he will be able to tease her and Eddie about their sex life," Alice drawled.
"Oh, well, in that case, he'll have material for years, decades even," Rose sniggered.
I rolled my eyes. "Not if I can help it."
"Good luck, dear," Esme laughed. "Controlling Emmett's outrageous humor goes hand in hand with telling Alice 'no'. I've been trying for over fifty years and haven't managed yet."
On that note, we exited the car and glided into the dress shop. We split up to look at the dresses on display. The theme for the Prom was "Under the Sea", so most of the girls would be dressed in shades of blue or green, with a few wearing pinks, creams, and peaches to represent shells.
"I found the perfect dress for you, Rose!" Alice cried excitedly. "It completely fits your personality!"
Rose glided over quickly to take a look, but when she saw the dress, she glared menacingly at Alice.
"Are you trying to say something, Alice?" she growled.
"Now, girls," Esme began, trying to prevent any trouble. She caught a glimpse of the dress in question and choked back a chuckle. Now I was curious. I moved around until I could see the dress. It was really quite beautiful, but the design was that of peacock feathers.
"Alice, why on earth would a peacock's display remind you of our dear Rose?" I smirked. Alice widened her eyes, donning her 'innocent' face. "Well, peacock feathers are extremely beautiful and valued by royalty, aren't they?"
Rose chuckled, "Nice save, sister dear."
Alice quickly snatched up another dress, putting the peacock one back on the rack. "How about this one for Bella? It's got the green see-thru overskirt to tie into the theme."
"Alice, it's covered in leopard and tiger prints," Rose protested.
Alice nodded. "I know, all of Edward's favourites."
"I'm not sure it would be a good idea to remind Edward of his favourite meals while he's holding Bella in such close proximity. He has a hard enough time with his control as it is," Esme warned.
"True," Alice pondered. She hung that dress up and grabbed another one, holding it up to herself. "Of course, I wouldn't mind if Jasper wanted to think about eating me!"
"If you wear that, you'll certainly stir his appetite," Rose teased. The dress was a sexy leopard/zebra print.
"I'm going to get this just for a special date night," Alice decided. Esme brought a beautiful royal blue dress over to me.
"I do think this will look good on you, Bella, and I'm certain Edward will like it," Esme commented in a motherly tone. She held up the dress so I could get a good look at it.
"I love it, Esme!" I exclaimed. "I can't wait to try it on and see if it fits." I grabbed the dress and took it to the dressing room. It fit like a glove. I came out to show it off to my family and they all clapped for me.
"That's the one!" Alice assured me. I grinned and went back in the dressing room to change back into my regular clothes. That had been easy, maybe even too easy. How often did I go shopping with Alice and get away with only trying on one thing?
By the time I made it back out into the store, Alice had a number of dresses draped over her arm. She saw me looking at the stack and gave me her pouty smile.
"These are what I call little black numbers. Everyone needs a little black dress for special occasions," she declared confidently.
"Alice!" Esme called. "I think I found what you're looking for, dear. You'll look like a mermaid in this dress."
She held it up and Alice squealed, clapping her hands with delight. "Yes, that's it! Thank you, Esme!" Esme smiled proudly.
The dress was made of shimmery blues and greens, reflecting light. It really did look reminiscent of mermaid scales sparkling under water in the sunlight. It was beautiful and fit the theme perfectly.
"Tell me, Alice," I whispered to her. "Did you choose the prom theme to fit the dress or the dress to fit the prom theme?"
She smirked at me and winked. "I'll never tell."
I laughed. I wouldn't put it past her to arrange the entire prom theme around the perfect dress.
Rose came out of the dressing room sporting a little red number that was so hot I jokingly considered calling the fire department.
Alice laughed. "You can call the fire department if you want, Bella. They won't mind the disruption, at least not when they catch sight of Rose."
Rose and Esme laughed appreciatively.
"Man, Rose, if you wear that, they'd better have Carlisle working the ER to deal with all the cases of heart failure that'll occur when you walk through the door," I mentioned, only half kidding. "Not to mention the number of boys who will spontaneously burst into flames at the sight of you."
Rose grinned at me. "Looks like I've found my dress then."
She strolled back into the dressing room to change.
"Esme, this dress is for you," Alice announced, holding a sexy black number out to her. She hesitated, reaching out a little, but not accepting it.
"I can't wear that, Alice!" Esme exclaimed in embarrassment. "It's indecent!"
Alice huffed. "It isn't indecent, or else they wouldn't sell it here to be worn in public. Do I need to remind you that all six of your children will be attending the prom, leaving you and Carlisle with the whole house to yourselves?"
Esme's eyes darkened and she grabbed the dress. I was sure if she were human she would be blushing, but she still grinned. "You're absolutely right, Alice, and I think Carlisle will really appreciate this dress under those circumstances. I'm sure I could persuade him to enjoy a little moonlit dancing."
"Besides, if you want to see indecent, you should see the one I picked out for Rose!" Alice declared, holding up a skimpy black dress with see-thru lace panels.
"Oh, yeah! Now we're talking!" Rose exclaimed, giving Alice a high five. "Emmett will be my willing slave when I wear this, putty in my all too capable hands!"
I blushed just looking at the dress and hoped I'd never see her modelling it. I couldn't imagine anyone actually wearing that thing in public, unless they were a prostitute or something. Alice was right, it was positively indecent. "Just let me know in advance which day you're planning on wearing that so I can keep Edward far, far away," I pleaded.
"Let me know in advance, so I can make sure Jasper and I are ready to take full advantage of the tidal wave of lust that Emmett will be pouring out," Alice added.
"Let me know, so I can find out if Carlisle is going to be around or not. If he's working, I want to be miles away from the house, but if he's home, we might as well take advantage of Jasper's gift. He certainly won't be able to keep all that lust contained within himself. I have no doubt it will be washing through the house, drowning all the occupants," Esme confided.
"This is my little black number," Alice stated, holding up a velvet gown. It hung all the way to the floor, so at first it appeared decently modest. Then, as my eyes took in more details, I realized it had no back and the leg slit almost went all the way to the hip, leaving very little of the leg to the imagination. With every step, her thighs would be exposed, especially to vampire vision which wouldn't be deterred by the shadows cast by the fabric.
"Good grief!" I grumbled. "Why not just drape a piece of cloth over you? It would probably work just as well. That dress barely covers anything!"
Alice gave me a piercing look and rolled her eyes. "That's the point, Bella! There's no need to get so worked up, you know. We're wearing them for our husbands to whom we've been married for over half a century. Give us a break. So what if we want to keep it exciting after all this time?"
She had a point there. "Sorry," I mumbled, hanging my head. "I guess I'm almost as much of a prude as Edward is."
"It's why you two are so good for each other, darling," Esme murmured, embracing me and kissing the top of my head. I smiled up at her, basking in her affection.
"Hey, Tinkerbell!" Rose cried excitedly. "I've got the perfect dress for you. All you need are some wings and pixie dust!"
She tossed a very short green dress with a crinoline miniskirt over to Alice. Alice squealed with joy as she caught it. "Perfect! Just what I've been needing to complete a certain ensemble I've been designing. Jasper is absolutely going to love this."
One look at her expression and I decided I didn't really want to know.
I looked at my watch and was surprised to note we'd only been shopping for a few hours. We already had our dresses, and the rest of the day was stretching out before us. We paid for our purchases (well, the Cullens paid), and Alice led us to a little restaurant for me to grab some lunch.
"So, now that the shopping is done, how about we go someplace fun, like Knott's Berry farm?" I recommended enthusiastically.
Alice looked at me as if I had completely lost my marbles. "Done? What on earth makes you think we're done?"
My smile faltered and I hesitated. "Well, we got the dresses, right?"
"Of course we got the dresses, but that's only the beginning. We need to get the rest of the outfit—shoes, hose, undergarments, jewellery, makeup, etc. We've got a lot more to do, so don't dawdle!"
I cringed. How could I have been so naïve? Wasn't I used to shopping with Alice yet? She seriously needed a pet project to keep her out of my hair, literally. Maybe I could get her to focus all her makeover talents on Leah and Angela and leave me alone. I loved her and enjoyed spending time with her, but there's only so much Bella Barbie one girl could take. Where was Jasper when you needed him? I had quickly gone from optimistic hope and joy that we could enjoy the rest of our day to the disturbing knowledge that I was only praying to survive until dinnertime.
EPOV
I fretted all weekend about Bella being with the girls, wondering what they were doing together. I was sure Bella would never behave inappropriately with my mother and sisters, but I also knew I pushed her pretty hard. It had to be a joke. I was certain Esme would never do something like that. Carlisle's thoughts after the phone call had mainly confirmed my suspicion. His thoughts were amused and affectionate, full of Esme. He wouldn't have been so amused and loving if he took her words seriously, would he?
But Emmett's thoughts had been downright terrifying. His mind had conjured up image after horrifying image of Rosalie, Alice, and Bella, in awkward positions and various states of undress. The mental pictures were so vivid they almost seemed like memories instead of his imagination. I noticed even he wasn't sick enough to fantasize about Esme, for which I was immensely grateful. She truly was a mother to us all, which is why I had such a hard time when Carlisle thought of being intimate with her. He had every right to think that way about his own wife. I couldn't begrudge him that, but I still did my utmost best to block those thoughts out. Jasper's thoughts were similar enough to Emmett's that I finally couldn't take it anymore and ran. If both of them had such images in mind, were they memories? Could they really both be imagining the same things? What if Bella wasn't quite as innocent as I believed her to be? No! I couldn't doubt her like that!
The insidious thought had been planted though and refused to be banished. It wormed its way through all of my thoughts, turning my brain to mush. We left early Saturday morning for our hunting trip, but my heart wasn't in it.
It had been pretty funny when Jasper walked in squelching of ocean water. I caught the drift of his thoughts and laughed. "Feeling better, Jazzy?"
He glared at me. Emmett came back downstairs when he heard me address Jasper. He was wearing a satisfied smirk.
"Anyone heard from the girls?" Jasper asked, frowning.
Carlisle came out of his room and joined us in the foyer. We all shook our heads.
"I guess they've been too BUSY," Emmett cheered, waggling his eyebrows. I felt nauseous at the turn of his thoughts. Jasper growled.
"Enough with the lust, Emmett! I have no desire to swim to Alaska and back again. I'm thirsty, grumpy, and missing Alice, so I will gladly kick your ass if you push me today," Jasper grouched.
"Okay, okay," Emmett muttered defensively, putting up his hands.
"Let's just go hunt as soon as Jasper changes into some dry clothes," Carlisle suggested calmly. Always the peacemaker. Jasper trudged slowly upstairs, dripping on the carpet the whole way. Esme was not going to be happy. Carlisle was thinking the same thing.
"Emmett, clean up those drips and that puddle," he ordered.
"What? But it's not my mess, I didn't do…" Emmett immediately started whining.
"NOW!" Carlisle commanded in his leader voice. That one word was all it took to shut Emmett up and send him scurrying to find a rag. He had the mess completely cleaned up, including the puddle where Jasper had been standing while talking to us, by the time Jasper stepped out of his bedroom in clean, dry clothes.
After that, none of us felt like talking, so we made the whole trip to Goat Rocks in silence.
We made it back to the house on Sunday before the girls did. To our surprise, Black's Pack showed up with movies and pizza wanting to hang out with us. None of us were in the mood to play games, but we honoured Esme by offering our hospitality anyway. After a few hours of male bonding with our enthusiastically immature pack brothers, all of us were feeling much more relaxed. It was like being in a room full of Emmetts, overwhelming but amusing. Carlisle didn't participate in the crude banter. He simply watched us through hooded eyes, a perpetual smirk on his lips. He was definitely wearing a 'boys will be boys' expression, especially as our conversation wasn't much better than that found in the boys' locker room at the high school, what with the trash talking and sexual innuendo. Personally, I didn't say much, only jumping in when I thought of a particularly witty retort.
Our joking was interrupted by Carlisle's cell phone. We all got quiet, expecting it to be our womenfolk. I listened in on Carlisle's thoughts. Esme! Finally!
Yep, it was indeed our lady loves.
"Hello, Esme," Carlisle greeted warmly, anticipation and love in his voice.
"Uh, hi, Carlisle. I…um…have something to tell you before we get there."
Why is she stuttering like this? She knows she can tell me anything.
"There was kind of an accident on Friday, not long after we left…"
An accident? "What's wrong, honey? What happened?" We can't get hurt, how bad can it be? Did they wreck the car? Oh, no! Bella!
I felt my stomach drop to the floor. My Bella!
"Well, it's Bella. She's different now. I just didn't want you guys to be too shocked when you saw her."
"Ohh! Did she get a haircut or something? Did Alice get a bit carried away playing Barbie Bella?"
His thoughts were full of affection for his wife and all three daughters.
Oh, right. She must have gotten a new hairstyle for the prom or something. Of course my family wouldn't let anything happen to her.
"Um, no, not quite. Actually, we all kind of got carried away. Bella got scratched by somebody's fingernail in the heat of the moment, and the smell of her rich sweet blood permeated the air in the confines of the car. Before I could even think to lower the window or anything, it was already too late."
Too late? What is she saying? She can't mean what I think she means.
Too late? What the heck was that supposed to mean? What did she mean, 'too late'?
"Too late?" Carlisle squeaked nervously, glancing around the room. Oh, yeah. The wolves are here. Oh, crap. They could hear every word of both sides of the conversation as well as we could. Their faces were stony, their eyes fixed unblinkingly on Carlisle and the phone in his hand. I checked their thoughts and found their minds all screaming the same thing: If one of them bit her over a scratch, whether they killed her or changed her, they violated the treaty.
The treaty! Oh, no! I tried to get Carlisle's attention so he would take the conversation out of hearing range, but it was too late for that too. Before I could force the first syllable out of my mouth, Esme had already begun her reply.
"Too late to prevent the biting. The good news is that her change was faster than usual, just under two days, and she was totally fine when she awakened. We were thinking it was probably all the venom, something about the combination of the venom of the three of us, that helped make her change so quick." All of our jaws dropped at that remark. Carlisle's words slipped out before he could catch them.
"You bit her, Esme? Even you?"
The whispers were echoing around me, but I couldn't even think straight. I had been betrayed. Robbed by my own mother and sisters. No, it couldn't be true. My love couldn't be a vampire already. We had plans! This had to be a joke! They were just torturing me for fun. I calmed, refusing to believe they were telling the truth until I saw it with my own eyes.
"Carlisle? Who else is there, Carlisle?"
"The wolves are here."
We heard the gasps on the other side of the line.
"Oh, dear. That complicates things, doesn't it?"
Talk about the understatement of the year. Things were beyond complicated. They would never be the same.
"You broke the treaty!" Jacob growled. The other wolves echoed his growl with growls of their own. "We thought surely if a vampire could be trusted, Esme would be trustworthy. Our mother. The mother who just bit her own daughter! How could you, Esme? You broke the treaty!"
"Um, Carlisle, we're almost there. Just give us about two more minutes." Then she hung up. Carlisle stared helplessly at the phone. The wolves jumped to their feet.
"Wait!" I shouted. "It's just a joke! They're playing a joke on us!"
The wolves all turned to look at me with an odd stare.
"They are? Are you sure?" Jacob asked, watching me suspiciously.
"You'll see," I replied calmly. "When she gets here she will be totally fine and will be laughing at all of us. She's still human, you'll see."
The wolves studied my expression, no doubt trying to gauge my sincerity.
"Did you talk to her?" Jacob asked carefully.
I looked at him in confusion, then in fear. "Not since Friday," I admitted.
He nodded. "So you're not sure."
I squirmed. "It, it has to be a joke. You'll see. You will."
"Well, we'll find out soon enough," he replied, heading outside to confront the girls in the front yard.
The rest of his pack followed closely behind him.
My brothers, father, and I all ran outside on their heels, not comfortable with the idea of them between us and our mates.
"Let's not do anything hasty," Carlisle warned, trying to soothe the troubled wolves. He nudged Jasper and a wave of calm swept through the yard.
The car stopped at the tree line, not coming any further toward the house, no doubt concerned about the quivering wolves in between them and the house.
Slowly, all four of them climbed out of the SUV. The last rays of the sun broke through the clouds and all four of them began to sparkle. My heart sunk. She took one step forward and met my eyes. Her chocolate brown depths were now a shallow crimson. My Bella was a monster. Just like me.
I tore my eyes from her to glare at my mother and sisters. I saw that they too were sporting red eyes. I gnashed my teeth in anger. They were full of human blood. Blood stolen from my beloved.
Emmett's thoughts hit me. Yay! Now I can wrestle with my little sister! This is going to be awesome! Wait a minute. If she's already a vampire, doesn't that mean no baby? Oh, no. Poor Eddie.
I shut everybody else's thoughts out of my mind, allowing my misery to consume me, as I fell to my knees.
CPOV
This was a disaster of epic proportions. I was overwhelmed with how awful it truly was. The treaty was broken, we'd have to leave Forks now and never return, assuming the wolves even let us live long enough to leave. Bella and Edward would never be able to have the child they'd been dreaming of, which meant Esme would never be a grandmother.
I saw them get out of the car. I saw the red eyes and the sparkling. But something wasn't right. My focus was on my wife. If she had truly bitten Bella, she would be absolutely devastated right now. She would be mourning the loss of her future grandchild. All I saw in her body language and facial expression was amusement and anticipation. I knew my mate, backwards, forwards, and inside out. Edward was right, this was a joke.
But what about the wolves? They would attack! I assessed them and quickly realized they were quivering with suppressed laughter, not anger. They were in on the joke then. I met my wife's gaze and gave her a smile to let her know the jig was up. She flicked her gaze over to Edward, and I understood the joke was really directed at him. Well, I wouldn't ruin their fun.
Edward was on his knees, his head in his hands, wailing melodramatically. Foolish boy. If he would only use his eyes and ears, he'd quickly pick up on the discrepancies. He should know better than to jump rashly to conclusions with insufficient evidence. How many times must the boy learn this lesson the hard way before he finally gets it? I guess that's really the same question as: How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind; the answer is blowing in the wind. In other words, the answer is 'Who knows?' Either that or the answer is 42.
JasPOV
As they got out of the car, I carefully assessed everybody's moods. The wolves were surprised and amused. Amused? The women were amused and anticipatory. Okay, no guilt or remorse and Bella's way too calm. Edward was right. This is a joke, and the wolves are in on it. I sent a wave of triumph over to my wife, so she would know I knew. She flicked her eyes toward Edward, and I saw him on his knees. The waves of his emotion nearly knocked me off my feet. He was totally lost in emo world. I quickly shut him out, moving away from him. Alice flashed me the stopwatch in her hand, and I had difficulty controlling my laughter. So they were timing him to know how long it took for him to realize she was really still human. Her heartbeat was a dead giveaway. Yep, life had truly gotten a lot more entertaining since Bella joined us. I waited for Emmett to figure it out so we could place bets on the outcome.
EmPOV
I watched them exit the car and saw Bella sparkle in the fading light. Her eyes were red.
Yay! Now I can wrestle with my little sister! This is going to be awesome! Wait a minute. If she's already a vampire, doesn't that mean no baby? Oh, no. Poor Eddie. I shouted in my brain. Then I saw Edward's face and tried to keep my thoughts to myself.
My concern immediately jumped to Rose. She'd been wanting this baby for so long. She would be beside herself with grief and guilt. I met her eyes. How strange. She really wasn't upset at all. I focused on her more closely and saw the tell-tale line circling her pupils. She was wearing contacts. I quickly checked Bella and saw she was also wearing them. I smirked back at Rose. Can't prank the master.
Wait! Wolves! I looked at them again and saw them barely restraining their laughter as they watched Emoward make a big scene. Ah, so they were in on it. Cool. I looked over at Jasper and Carlisle. They had figured it out as well. I sidled over to Jasper.
"Five grand says he runs away, off to that meadow of his, before he realizes she's human," I whispered to him.
Jasper grinned. "You're on!" Then he hesitated and glanced over at Alice. She was frowning disapprovingly at him, and he cursed under his breath.
Yes! If Alice disapproves that means I've got this one in the bag!
EPOV
Why? Why did this happen? It's not fair! Not my Bella! Why does she have to be a monster? Why does she have to be a soulless bloodsucking demon, damned for all eternity? Why did we try to change the future? This is awful! Terrible! Tragic! Beyond tragic! Catastrophic! Epically disastrous! They didn't even have words to describe how terrible this was!
Why didn't Alice see this? Why didn't she stop it? How could she let this happen?
I glared at her, feeling as if my eyes were laser beams that could burn right through her. This was all her fault! She wanted to go shopping in L.A. She wanted to take Bella on a girls' only trip. Had she seen this beforehand and allowed it anyway? Had she set it up to happen like her vision? I focused on her thoughts, wanting to gauge her state of guilt and remorse for ruining my eternity!
It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.
Aaargh! She was singing! Stupid pixie! How dare she block me!
I got up and ran. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get away, to come to terms with the destruction of all my hopes and dreams. I headed where I always go when I need to think—my meadow, our meadow. I broke down sobbing as I thought about her reaction to seeing my skin sparkle for the first time compared to my reaction to seeing hers do the same.
I'm an even worse monster than I was before! My love had gone through the change without me there to comfort her. I was not the first face she saw when she awoke to her new existence. My first reaction to seeing her in her newborn form was to run away from her, not toward her. How would she ever forgive me? She, who as a fragile human had accepted me and loved me, monster and all. How could I do any less for her? How could I turn my back on her now in her time of need? She must be so scared and overwhelmed, yet I am here alone, rather than by her side reassuring and teaching her.
And the wolves! Oh, crap! I forgot the wolves! I left my family there to fight alone! I deserted them, abandoned my love to face a second and final death at the claws and teeth of our former friends. What the hell was I thinking? I had betrayed them all far worse than they had ever betrayed me!
Quickly, I dragged myself up and ran back to the house, worried about what would be awaiting me there.
BPOV
It was a good thing Alice had warned me but, even with the warning, I couldn't believe it when Edward actually ran away from us all. I stared after his retreating form in disbelief. After all, he thought we had broken the treaty and that the werewolves were going to attack us! And he still ran away, leaving me to fight the wolves without him. Man! I wasn't so sure our relationship was going to survive the transformation after all. Certainly not any time soon. That boy needed some serious therapy or something. Why was he always running away whenever the going got tough? I knew he'd be back—he'd realize his mistake, but the fact is it's a darn good thing this was just a dry run. If we'd really been in this position I'd likely be a pile of ashes before he could get back to beg my forgiveness. This was an issue that needed to be dealt with before our relationship progressed any further.
I wasn't the only one staring after him in shock. Some of the wolves felt the need to 'knock some sense into him'. I got the distinct impression Carlisle was internally debating the merits of taking his century old son over his knee and paddling his behind until he came to his senses. Rose appeared to be wondering whether or not she could buy an honest to goodness dunce cap off of eBay and was muttering about stools in the corner. Even Esme was gazing after him like she was debating between grounding him for a decade or two, and donating his entire CD collection, and possibly even his piano, to the battered women's shelter.
I needed to help them refocus their anger and aggression. After all, I did still love Edward and he wouldn't be much use to me in multiple pieces or fertilizing the garden as ash. So I hatched another brilliant plan and shared it with my family and friends. They accepted it wholeheartedly and rushed to put everything in effect. The mood had lightened considerably, and Jasper gave me a grateful smile. The poor guy was currently enduring a lecture from Alice on being responsible with his money, with the moral being something about how many pairs of shoes could be bought for five grand. I squinted at him and Alice in confusion. Buying $5000 worth of shoes was a responsible use of money? I just shrugged. Alice would be Alice. I didn't even want to think about how much our prom dresses must have cost.
By the time Edward finally made it back to the house, we were all ready and waiting for him, ready to start the next stage of his torture.
EPOV
My senses were on full alert as I sped back to the house, horrified by the images my mind was imagining of the amount of carnage I would surely witness when I arrived. How many of my family had been killed or injured? How many of my friends would we now need to bury?
I sped into the yard and came to a sudden halt. Where was everyone?
Nobody was fighting. There was no bloodshed. They weren't even talking. How long had I been gone? Had I lost track of time? I walked slowly to the house, listening to the thoughts of my family. Their thoughts were all too normal, too calm for what had just happened. The wolves were nowhere to be seen, but not a single member of my family was thinking about them.
I walked cautiously into the house and did a double take. The family was sitting casually around the living room watching a comedy on TV. They looked like they always did, like nothing had happened. The couples were all snuggled up together, and Bella was sitting there on the couch waiting for me, eating a bowl of popcorn.
Popcorn? Vampires can't eat popcorn, unlike the wolves, who eat anything that's not nailed down. Speaking of which, where were they? I listened carefully and only heard one heartbeat, Bella's. Wait a minute. One heartbeat. Bella's. She has a heartbeat? I raced over to the couch.
"Oh, hello, Edward," Carlisle greeted me. "The girls came home while you were out. Be thankful you didn't have to help carry in all their shopping bags."
I stared at him, but he just went back to watching the movie. Esme looked over at me, with her yellow eyes, and smiled at me before snuggling her head on Carlisle's shoulder. Okay, that was weird.
I sat next to Bella, and she turned to face me, willingly abandoning the movie to give me her full attention. I gazed deeply into her chocolate eyes, and her smile dazzled me like it usually does. I listened to her glorious heartbeat, which began to accelerate now that I was holding her hands. I inhaled her tantalizing scent and felt my throat burn. For once, I actually welcomed the burn, as it meant my beautiful, wonderful Bella was miraculously, deliciously still alive.
But if she was still alive, then what the heck just happened? I listened to my family's thoughts, but they were completely focused on the movie, which I found rather odd. I couldn't even remember the last time they had been so engrossed in a movie.
"So, it was just a joke, huh?" I asked incredulously.
Bella looked at me blankly. "What was?"
"The whole thing about you turning into a newborn and us having broken the treaty with the wolves."
"What are you talking about?" she wondered, tilting her head in confusion.
Now it was my turn to get a little puzzled.
"You know, Esme called and said she and the girls bit you and you turned into a newborn vampire."
"Edward! I would never do that to Bella!" Esme protested sincerely, looking hurt. "I love Bella like my own daughter, and I would never harm her."
"I know," I answered. "But you did and that made the wolves so mad that they were going to kill all of us."
Bella stared at me in concern. "Look at me, Edward. Obviously, no one has bitten me. I'm just fine.
Besides, the wolves haven't even been here since last weekend."
"Of course, they have. They were here all afternoon."
My father and brothers turned to me in surprise.
"What do you mean, Edward?" Carlisle asked carefully, studying my expressions. "You've been in your meadow ever since we got back from hunting."
"Yeah, Edward," Emmett agreed. "I haven't seen any wolves, not that I was looking, but I doubt I could have missed them if they were here. Jazz and I just played video games while we waited for our wives to return."
I tried to read their minds, but each one of them had their minds filled with their mates. They have got to be kidding me.
"So now you're going to tell me you didn't see Bella as a newborn vampire when they arrived?" I demanded of my family.
They looked at me like I was crazy.
"Are you insane, Edward?" Rose retorted. "Do you really think I would bite Bella and change her into a vampire before she has a chance to get pregnant with your baby? Do you really know me so little after all the decades we've lived together?"
"Edward! Bella's my best friend and my little sister! You really think I would hurt her? Why would I? I have been around her when she's been actively bleeding before without attacking her. How could you even think such things?" Alice defended herself.
I shook my head. This was beyond strange. I know! I'll call the wolves! I pulled out my cell phone and dialled Jacob's number. He picked up after the second ring.
"Hey, Edward. Good to hear from you!" Jacob answered enthusiastically.
"Yeah, you too, man. Um, so what happened over here at my house today?"
"How should I know?"
"Well, you were here, weren't you?"
"Dude, are you feeling okay? I've been right here working on my car all day. I've almost got it all fixed and ready to roll. I've installed a super cool new sound system. Why? Is everything okay?"
"You don't remember Esme calling Carlisle to say she and the girls had bitten Bella and were bringing her home as a vampire?"
"What? You're pulling my leg, Edward Cullen. There is no way in hell that Esme would ever bite Bella. If you want to put one over on me, you're going to have to come up with something a little more plausible. I mean, that's like you telling me Carlisle went on a bloodthirsty rampage and sucked a bunch of cub scouts dry. Or that he ate the girl scouts who came around peddling their cookies. I mean, get real, dude. Only a real sucker would fall for something like that. Only a gullible fool would swallow that story. I may be years and years younger than you, but I wasn't born yesterday, you know."
"Uh, right. Thanks, Jake. Sorry to bother you."
"Aw, don't be mad Eddie-poo, just because you're not as creative as Emmett when it comes to pranks."
I growled. "Shut up, dog."
"Make me, leech."
"Screw you."
"No thanks, I don't swing that way."
"Go to hell."
"Sure, sure. But I'm taking you with me."
I growled again.
"That the best you got, bloodsucker?"
"Schnozzinfraggin!" I shouted out a nonsense word to express my frustration.
There was a slight pause on the other end and then a quiet, "Bless you! I didn't know vampires could sneeze. Maybe you should get Carlisle to take a look at that for you."
"Goodbye, Jacob," I snapped.
"Bye, Edward. See you Saturday." We both hung up.
I didn't know vampires could get headaches, but I was starting to prove that they could. What the heck is going on here? I know I wasn't losing my mind. Was I? Nothing was adding up anymore. Did it happen or didn't it? Was it a vision? Could I be getting visions now? Had I somehow stumbled into The Twilight Zone?
No, it did happen. I know it. I just need proof. I started sniffing, knowing the wolves' scents would be strong here. To my surprise, the odour was faint, riding delicately under the strong scents of my family, my mate, and the popcorn. The odour should be a lot stronger if they were just here today.
BPOV
I saw Edward sniffing after he got off the phone with Jacob. This was really too funny. I looked over and winked at Jasper, while Edward was preoccupied. Esme had assigned Jasper to the task of dispersing the wolves' scent. He'd been busy with fans and Febreeze. I stifled a giggle. Unfortunately, Edward still picked up on it.
"What's so funny?" he inquired suspiciously.
I gave him a serene smile. "Just a comment from the movie."
He nodded and went back to fretting.
"What's the matter, darling?" I asked, projecting concern.
EPOV
I looked at Bella. Should I tell her what I was thinking? What if I really was losing my mind? Do they make Vampire Prozac? Jasper could feel my anxiety and sent me a wave of calm. My walking, talking anti-depressant, anti-anxiety medicine. Too bad I can't fit him in my pocket. I needed a Jasper patch; something to provide me continuously with that sense of calm contentment.
"It was real. I know it was. Esme called and said the three of them had bitten you and changed you. The wolves freaked out because we broke the treaty. Though it is strange, now I think about it, that they all were thinking the exact same thing at the same time. You guys got home, the wolves were shaking, ready to transform at any moment, and you stepped out of the car. The sun hit your skin, and you sparkled. Your eyes were crimson." I watched her face carefully as I told her this. I was revelling in the sight, sound, smell, and feel of this beautiful girl. She cocked her head to the side.
"And what did you do then? Did you scoop me up and kiss me?" she asked huskily.
I hung my head in shame. "I ran to my meadow to think."
Her face furrowed in confused disbelief. "You mean you abandoned me to the wolves?"
I nodded guiltily. "I'm so sorry, honey."
"Well, sorry doesn't help much if I'm already dead," she sniped.
I sobbed. "I know." My guilt at my foolish reaction overwhelmed me. I needed to grow up—running away from my problems was not a viable option. I needed to face up to them, like a man.
She must have seen the realization and resolve that accompanied my thoughts, for she smiled at me. She soothingly rubbed the back of my hands. "Sounds like you had a nightmare, Edward."
I smirked. "Vampires don't have nightmares, love. First of all, we are the nightmares. Secondly, we don't sleep, so we don't dream. I don't know what it was or what happened, but it was real."
She nodded. "Sounds like a nightmare to me."
I frowned. "Vampires can't have nightmares, Bella."
She rolled her eyes. "Vampires can't have babies either, but that isn't going to stop you, is it?"
Humph. The girl did have a point there.
I spent the rest of the evening worried about losing my sanity.
Finally, Bella yawned, indicating she was ready for bed. I took her home and carried her up to her room. As I looked down at the beautiful girl in my arms, I saw something flash in the light on the skin behind Bella's ear. I touched my finger to it, and brought it out to look at it as I set Bella gently down by her bed. Glitter?
"Bella, is this glitter?" I asked.
She smirked and pulled a contact lens case out of her pocket, tossing it onto her nightstand.
The pieces all locked together. I had just been royally pranked and my family and friends were all in on it. Her smirk grew into a full-fledged grin as she saw the understanding enter my consciousness.
"Why you little…" I growled.
She put her hands on my shoulder and stood up on tiptoe to whisper in my ear. "You were right, honey. Payback sucks, doesn't it?" Then she turned around and strolled off to the bathroom with an evil chuckle, leaving me staring after her. Just before she shut the door, she whispered, "Don't mess with the best."