There was a message waiting for me when I got home. It had been sent at around nine thirty last night from my sister, Cathy. I opened the video file and her face jumped out on the screen, happy and beautiful as ever.

"Hi Trowa!" she greeted, waving. "Just calling to catch up. We all miss you like crazy over here. Manager still hasn't been able to find a replacement as good as you. I told him it was impossible. I think he knows, but he's in denial. Everyone sends their love. I told them what you were up to and they all told me the same thing. 'I knew that boy had a head for mechanics.' What can I say? When they're right, they're right. You must be happy. If you are, I am. Well. That was it, just to say hello and that I miss you... Oh, and I'm coming down to visit in a week. Bye!"

I smiled, shaking my head to myself. It would be good to have her. I undressed and slipped into bed. The sheets were cool and soft and I sunk into them happily. The turkey had taken its affect. I dropped to sleep instantly.

I awoke with a feeling of urgency and I slipped my hand under my pillow to grab my gun. I pointed a fistful of air at nothing. My arm lowered with a sigh and I shook my head. Once a soldier, always a soldier. Nothing would change that.

No, but I was mistaken. I was already changing, had already changed. They say time heals you. They're wrong. People heal you, people who are willing enough, people who love you enough to stick around and make a difference. Cathy had done that. Quatre, and all the others. And I had changed, gradually, but I did.

However, on some nights… some nights when the moon is invisible and the wind is dead, my past comes up to choke me in my sleep and I wake, sweat drenched and panting to an empty room with an empty gun hand pointing at an empty enemy. Still, I smiled to myself. The fact that, one: I could smile to myself, and two: I woke up sweat drenched and panting was a change in itself and I was glad for it.

Any change was a good change. Any change meant that I was further and further away from war…

So why did it haunt me in my sleep?

It haunted us all. It haunted us all, I knew. War. The empty enemy was war.

Duo called me at noon and asked if I wanted to get some breakfast. Duo could sleep in until four in the afternoon if Hilde and Heero let him. He'd typically be roused by the two at around eleven thirty in the morning. I was once over to see the spectacle. On weekend mornings, when there was no one available to say they were going to eat his bacon, getting Duo out of bed was an impressive task.

On the morning I was there, they had come in three times to wake him and had been answered with grumpy moans. Finally, they exchanged a look, a nod of the head, and they attacked. They spilt in the hall, Hilde walking into the bathroom and Heero walking into Duo's room.

I stood perplexed in the hallway, watching. A moment later, there was a scream from Duo's room and Heero walked out a moment later carrying a flailing Duo in a steel grip to the bathroom. He kicked and screamed and then… he heard the water. Hilde had wretched the cold tap open in the shower and stepped out of the way. Duo lashed out, fighting, making Heero struggle to keep his hold on him, yelling as if he was being taken to the executioner. With brute force, Heero shoved him under the cold stream, managing not to get any water on himself. Duo sat under the stream and pouted, spent on the floor of the shower.

I had asked Hilde if this was how they always woke him on weekends.

She shrugged. "One of the ways."

I hadn't dared ask the others. I imagined they involved stink bombs, matches, an angry street dog…

"Why wait so long to get the shower on? You almost got run over."

"Because if we do it sooner, he registers the sound earlier and puts up more of a fight. He popped Heero in the eye once and went running like mad back into his room and locked himself in, cursing. So now we wait until the last possible moment."

I smiled thinking about it and Duo gave me a suspicious, narrowed-eyed look through the vidcom. I agreed to meet them for breakfast and shut off the connection before he could ask questions.

We met at a small café that was relatively unknown. It was empty save for ourselves and we slid into a big booth, ordered with the waiter and relaxed.

"Duo, you're the only person I know who can eat a one pound cheeseburger for breakfast," Hilde said, shaking her head beside me.

Duo shrugged from across her. "No different than bacon."

"It's very different than bacon. Bacon is… bacon and this is cheeseburger."

"Meat. It's still meat. What does it matter if I have it in the form of a patty or a strip?"

"Maybe the fact that the patty weighs one pound alone has something to do with it," Heero put in.

"What do you think, Trowa?" Duo asked.

"I think I'll change the subject," I said, refusing to be the make-or-break in the ridiculous fight that was sure to brew. "Cathy's coming to visit."

"From the… circus, right?" Duo asked. "Which one is she again?"

"The knife-thrower, slender, tall, auburn hair, gray eyes, very pretty," Heero spoke up suddenly. We all stared at him. "It's true."

Duo made a snorting sound, but nodded. "I think I remember seeing her once. Cool. It'll be good to meet her."

The waiter set down our food just then. It was piping hot and delicious, the kind of food you only got with a little known place. The meal was spent nicely, talking about nothing really. The waiter took our plates and gave us our coffee and we lingered over it, content and hidden from the rest of the world until Duo opened his mouth and said, "But if bacon is a meat and-"

We all rose and left him talking to himself with the check.