Can You Save Me? Chapter 8: A Darkening World, a harry potter fanfic

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 7: A Darkening World

July 15, 1977:

She was laughing, twirling around in exhilaration. She could feel James wrap his arms around her waist and nothing had ever felt as good as that did right then.

"Welcome home, Lily Potter," James' voice came whispering into her ear, and Lily felt as though she might burst from the thrill. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, James," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him sweep her up into his arms.

Before she knew it, she was being loved so utterly, so completely that she wondered why she had ever thought that there was ever anything that could stop them.

July 14, 1979:

Lily yawned as she slowly woke up, registering James' warmth next to her. Good. He hadn't left for work yet, she could cuddle up for a while. She cast a sleepy eye at the clock. 5:30. James didn't need to be at work until 7:30, that was almost two full hours she could spent drinking in his warm boyish charm. Unless, of course, he woke up, in which case she could easily convince him to stay in bed for just a little longer.

"Good morning, angel," James murmured, shifting slightly to look at her. Just as Lily was about to reply, he kissed her and caught her under him again in his usual endearing fashion. "Sleep well?" he asked hungrily, kissing her neck.

"Mmm, yes," Lily purred, undoing the buttons on his pyjamas. "It's only 5:30, you know. We don't have to get up yet."

"Who said anything about getting up?" James growled good-naturedly.

"Don't forget the meeting tonight, James," Lily reminded him, arms wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah, I'll see you when I get home first," James replied, kissing her goodbye.

"No, you won't, tonight's my night shift, remember?" Lily corrected. "I'm not going to be here when you get home to hassle you. Make sure you're at the meeting on time."

"I promise," James assured her. "Have a good day, Lily."

"You, too," Lily replied. "Don't forget."

"I won't, I swear!" James laughed, kissed her one last time and left.

Lily sighed as the house went eerily silent again. He was going to forget, she just knew it. He was going to be at work all day, organizing that stupid Quidditch World Cup (why the male species was so entranced by this game, she had no idea) and getting distracted, then he was going to wind up missing the meeting, thinking that nobody would care if he took some overtime tonight since she was working. She was half-tempted to call Sirius and Remus and tell them to hassle James for her, but Sirius was just as hopeless as James when the tantalizing prospect of the Quidditch World Cup hung in the air and Remus wouldn't be seeing them before the meeting anyway.

"Evening, Lily," called Evita, the other night shift worker tonight. The labs at St. Mungo's only employed two workers for the night shift exclusively, the other workers were daytime and evening workers who rotated schedules on the night shift's nights off.

"Evening, Evita," Lily replied. She liked Evita well enough, she was a newcomer, fresh from St. Brendan's Irish Academy of Magic in June. "What's on the table tonight?"

Evita laughed. "Refills." She gestured at the pile of orders from the various wards without stopping the stirring in the cauldron she had in front of her.

Lily sighed in disgust. "Sure, my night can be just as irritating as James."

"Aw, what'd he do now?"

"Quidditch," Lily said simply, picking up the first form. "Merlin, I'll be glad when the World Cup is over and his head is back from the clouds. What does Long-Term Spell Damage want with Blood-Replenishment Potion?"

"I think there's a lad in there who's a little self-violent," Evita replied. "Keeps chewing his own arm."

"Oookay." Lily sighed and started gathering ingredients.

"Have they found a spot for the Cup yet?" Evita asked. "Me nephews have been pestering me merciless about getting tickets."

"I think they'd narrowed it down to a couple of locations, James and Sirius were supposed to be checking them out today," Lily replied distractedly. She started the Blood-Replenishment on its way and turned to the next order form.

"Don't ask me why Magical Diseases thinks it needs Venom Antidote, you'd think that's what Creature Injuries wanted," Evita said.

"More likely Veelinda Antidote they wanted," Lily said. "Probably another Quidditch-minded trainee Healer with his head in the clouds…"

"You're really bitter about this Quidditch," Evita laughed.

"Oh, don't get me started," Lily grumbled.

At about midnight, the trainee Creature Injuries Healer appeared at the doors to the labs. "We need all the Blood-Replenishment Potions you have in stock, that includes the ones made for any refill orders."

"But – " Evita started to protest; that was half the night's work, and surely the other floors would complain if they didn't get their orders!

"I'll bring it right up," Lily cut in smoothly. Creature Injuries always overrode the other floors for Blood-Replenishment. "What's the situation?"

"Couple of workers from the Department of Magical Sports and Recreation were out scouting territory for the Cup, got ambushed by a bunch of Red Caps. We need those potions right away."

Lily sighed. "Oh, believe me, they'll be right there," she said, cursing James. He'd missed the meeting, it was supposed to have been at 7 and there was no way he and Sirius had gotten held up by Red Caps for at least six hours.

The trainee Healer nodded and dashed off again while Lily muttered angrily under her breath, grabbing bottles. Red Caps were going to be the least of James Christopher Potter's problems once she got up there.

"Your husband?" Evita asked.

"Stupid man, is it too much to ask for one thing…" Lily growled. "I'll be right back, Evita."

"Yeah," Evita replied, eyeing her worriedly.

"I'm dead," she heard James say distinctly to Sirius. "Man, we should've just let the Red Caps finish me off, because Lily's going to any way."

"Why?"

"We forgot the meeting tonight. I promised her three times this morning I wouldn't forget."

"Dang it, we did, didn't we?"

Lily narrowed her eyes in James' direction with a clear 'you just wait until I get home' look. James gulped and offered a weak, vaguely apologetic smile, still pressing down firmly on a nasty slice on his forearm.

"Lily, I'm sorry!" James exclaimed again. "We got held up, didn't get around to the scouting until late afternoon! It had to be done!"

"James, you knew I was working!" Lily said, aware that she was completely overreacting but not caring. "You knew I was counting on you to tell me what went on!"

"Lily…" James complained in frustration. "Lily, I was working too. What's gotten into you lately?"

"Nothing!" Lily exploded at him, tears in her eyes. "Nothing…"

Suddenly, James understood why she was so upset over nothing. As Lily broke down for what seemed like the hundredth time this week, he pulled her into his arms. "Come here, angel," he murmured, smoothing down her hair. "It's okay, it's okay…"

"No, it's not," Lily insisted between sobs. "Why, James? Why isn't it working?"

"Shh, calm down, Lily," he said softly, trying to ignore the voice in his own head asking the same questions. "It'll happen. You just have to be patient."

"You've been saying that for two years, James! Two years and every time…" she muffled her next sentence against his chest, but he heard it still the same. She blamed him.

James harnessed his initial rage before he did something that would get him packed off to Azkaban. Pushing her away, he said in a low, carefully-controlled voice, "Don't you dare blame me. It was you who caused it, not me." As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized that it did not come out the way he had intended it to. But he couldn't take them back.

Lily paled and her eyes filled with tears. James opened his mouth to apologize, to try and salvage this wreck of a conversation, but Lily had already taken off and he heard the sound of their bedroom door slamming and locking.

"Lily!" James yelled futilely. She screamed a few nasty insults back at him and he growled, kicking the wall in anger. Finally, he grabbed his cloak and stormed out. He'd go find sympathetic company at Sirius'. As he left, he made certain he slammed the door loud enough for her to hear.

Two hours later, sniffling, Lily sat up and unlocked the door. James never stayed away for long after an argument, he'd be back by now or very soon. He would do the contrite-husband act: apologizing for his idiot male behaviour, rubbing her shoulders and her back, kissing her to try and get back on her good side… and she'd let him back, as usual. But then again, maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she'd shut him out for a while longer, make him sweat. Yeah, that was it: she'd give him the cold shoulder. She wouldn't speak to him, she wouldn't let him near her, she wouldn't even look at him. He could sleep on the couch, or leech off Sirius for a few nights. He was probably there now any way, complaining about how unreasonable she was.

Satisfied with her plan of punishment, Lily laid back down and decided to sleep for a while. She'd hear when James came in.

There were flashes of light, shouts, screams, and a high, cold laugh…

"Face it, James Potter, you can't escape this time," came the voice of Voldemort, chilling Lily's heart to the core. "You're going to die right here, and then I'm going to personally make sure your irritating, filthy Mudblood wife sees your mangled body before I kill her. Crucio! Crucio!"

Lily woke as suddenly as if it had been her. If that had been another vision…

Trying to stop the panic from overtaking her, Lily got to her feet just as the door opened downstairs. "Lily!" came the voice of Alice Longbottom, frantic and urgent. "Lily!"

"What is it, Alice?" Lily asked as the two young women from two very different worlds: one a fast-paced, pragmatic Auror who saw danger on a daily basis, one a rather unexciting potioneer with the rare gift of Sight; locked gazes. Before Alice could even speak, Lily knew that it had been no mere dream she had just had.

"Come on," Alice finally said; she knew somehow that Lily already knew what she would say. "It's all wands on the field."

There were flashes of light, shouts, screams, and a high, cold laugh…

"Impedimenta!" Lily cried as she heard James' scream of pain. Her spell deflected the second torture spell towards a Death-Eater doing battle with another Order member – from here, she couldn't tell whom.

To his credit, James took advantage of Voldemort's momentary distraction to quickly get to his feet and out of the way. He looked as though he'd been here a while already, and had gone through a few Cruciatus hits.

Lily refused to let herself get distracted by the thought of James recuperating at home and ducked just as Voldemort turned his attention to her, shooting another Cruciatus in her direction. Breathing hard, she tried to gauge what his next move was, but not in time to escape another Death-Eater's disarming spell – somebody had misfired.

Her eyes widened as she watched her wand fly out of her hand, landing with a clatter at Voldemort's feet. 'Now, you can panic,' she told herself, backing away slowly as Voldemort's flat, snaky face cracked an evil smile.

"Or maybe it's you I'll kill first, Mudblood," he said softly, in a bone-chilling calm voice. "But it won't be an easy death, oh no… you can die like Black over there, filthy Mudblood. And then I'll kill your blood traitor husband the same way…"

Sirius was dead?, Lily thought somewhat stupidly as she hit a rock face. She was trapped. She had just seen Sirius, how could he be dead?

"Crucio!"

James impulsively chucked the first hard, heavy object he could reach at Voldemort. The chunk of rock hit him soundly in the back of his waxy white head, making a nice red gash that steadily trickled blood. It was nice to know that even inhuman beasts like Voldemort could bleed.

Lily's screams of pain stopped and James could see her slump to the ground, breathing hard. Smirking as Voldemort turned onto him once more, he carefully baited the dark wizard away from his wife. Voldemort was going to pay for insulting Lily. Nobody called his wife second-rate. The world didn't deserve to have her, least of all impulsive, rash, doesn't-think-before-he-speaks James Potter. If he got out of this alive… he was going to make it up to her.

From out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily silently summon her wand from where it lay and get to her feet, determination glinting in her emerald eyes. Merlin, she was gorgeous… right, concentrate on the battle at hand. James ducked another Cruciatus, laughing when Voldemort hit one of his own followers instead, causing the Death-Eater to cease his battle with Sirius.

"I tire of this cat-and-mouse game, Potter!" Voldemort snarled.

James saw Lily catch somebody's eye and then his, mouthing "Stun on three."

One. James and Sirius both dodged a Cruciatus.

Two. "You can't escape me!" Voldemort screamed in rage.

Three! Four bright flashes of light all hurtled towards Voldemort. Voldemort whirled around and Disapparated, his able followers quickly following suit. The casters hit the ground to avoid being struck with their own Stunning Spells. Looking to his other side, James saw that Remus had been the fourth person, and once the air was clear, he immediately bee-lined it to Lily, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry, angel," he whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck, crying into his neck. Battles really weren't Lily's domain, she didn't like them one little bit. "I didn't mean it."

"I know," she whispered. "Merlin, James, I was so scared…"

"All right, come on," James soothed, pulling her gently up to her feet. "We've got to go see who made it."

"James, Sirius…" Lily started to say.

"Sirius is fine," Sirius spoke up. Lily looked up, startled.

"But… he said…"

Sirius' face gained a frown and he nudged a nearby dead Death-Eater's head with his foot. A fairly young man that looked slightly familiar appeared, an expression of sheer terror on his face. "My brother Regulus. Chickened out of an assignment, from what I can gather. Stupid fool…" he muttered, looking at his dead brother for a moment before he turned away.

"Oh," Lily said.

Frank and Alice Longbottom both appeared among the group, sporting various minor injuries. "Prewett brothers didn't make it," Frank reported quietly. "I saw them go down."

"Yeah, so did I," Remus said. "Took seven of 'em."

"Dennis has gone to tell Molly Weasley before it hits the Prophet or the WWN," Alice said. "Merlin, I don't fancy being him right now. She's expecting her sixth, she's going to be unpredictable."

"What's the story he's telling her?" Sirius asked, a little more sharply than normal, Lily noted.

"I don't know," Alice admitted. "Probably that they were out on a stroll and Death-Eaters attacked. He'll make sure she knows they went down fighting and took a few Death-Eaters with them. That'll give her some comfort."

"What about Moody… Peter?" Remus asked.

"Haven't seen Peter yet, I'm not entirely sure he was even here," Frank replied. "Moody's gone back to the Ministry, he's on duty there. We're here strictly on Order."

"I hope Peter's all right," Lily said quietly, resting her head on James' shoulder. All of a sudden, she was exhausted to the point of tears. All she wanted was to go home, curl up under the covers and sleep with the comforting, reassuring warmth of James.

"I'm sure he is," James told her, though his voice didn't sound quite so confident about that. Peter was no duelist…

At that point, Peter limped over from somewhere to join them. "Sorry, guys," he said softly, tugging at his sleeve. "Got knocked out, only just came around. What's the damage?"

"Gideon and Fabian and about a half-dozen Death-Eaters," Sirius said. "Most of whom went down trying to get Gid and Fab. Plus Regulus, who was dead before the whole battle even started any way," he added.

"No point hanging around, the Ministry'll be here any minute," Alice said to Frank. The others nodded and they all Disapparated.

"Are you sure you're all right?" James asked worriedly, pulling off his shirt.

Lily nodded silently as she tugged on her nightdress. Letting a small smile escape when she felt James sidle up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist (Merlin, she loved how firm his chest was…), she sighed as the familiar stab of emotional pain returned.

James kissed her neck, an aching hunger gnawing at him inside. There was nothing more he'd love to do, nothing more he ever wanted to do right now than to give her the baby she wanted so badly – the little boy she'd seen in her vision in seventh year. They had tried so many times over their two years of marriage, only to be disappointed time after time. They were both losing hope, and it was tearing them apart.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her again. "Angel, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she said softly, voice wavering once. "It's my fault."

"No, it's not," James told her firmly. "Lily, look at me." When she turned around, he caught her face between his hands. "Listen to me. It is not your fault. It has never been your fault." He kissed her tenderly, tasting the bitter, salty tears falling from her eyes. "We were both tired and angry. We both said things we didn't mean. But let's make sure the anger is directed at the right person, all right? And that's neither of us." Gently, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. "That's what he wanted, Lily. He wanted to tear us apart. Don't let him win, angel."

Lily watched his eyes for a moment before she nodded, burying her face into his shoulder. Strong, muscled arms wrapped around her tightly and she wished he'd never let her go.