A/N: will contain mentions of non-con. If you do not like do not read.

Harry who had taken just a small sip of the dreamless sleep potion, woke up screaming and pleading them to stop. Harry found himself in a sitting position staring at the wall across the room. He still didn't understand why Severus would risk what he had risked for him. Was it just because of him being the Boy-Who-Lived? It couldn't have been that Severus never treated him any differently in school for that status. Maybe it was the promise Severus made to himself for his mother, Lily.

All Harry knew about his mother and Severus was that they was best friends, he didn't know if Severus still harbored feelings of love for her or just guilt. Guilt for being the one to tell the Dark Lord of what he heard of the Prophecy? Harry knew he had begged for her life, from what Dumbledore told him, and then came to Hogwarts holding him as an infant pleading his life to become a spy should the Dark Lord return one day.

He felt for Severus, and had forgiven him. Harry wondered if Severus ever or even had forgiven himself for what he'd done. Harry's appearance probably didn't help, looking just like his enemy had when his father had been young.

Harry just sat there staring at wall in front of him. He hadn't even heard the knock at the door, it was when the door was pushed open that it startled him causing him to jump from the bed and cowry in the corner nearness the bed. Harry was stuck in surivial mode that he had forgotten that he'd been taken out of Severus walked in "Potter? Lunch is ready." When he stepped into the room and didn't see Harry laying or on the bed. That was when he stepped farther into the room to look around. "Harry?" Severus spoke softly trying not to startle Potter any farther. He knew that what happened to Harry would take its toll on him.

Standing far enough away, "Potter, you're safe." Severus tried to sound soft but still was coming off harsh and cold as he always had. He saw the look of desperation of fear in Harry's eyes. Sure Harry hadn't broke under the Dark Lord's thumb but he been broken now, by the nightmares that plagued the now seventeen year old boy. Severus had tried to protect Harry from this, but the boy had been so darn stubborn just as Lily would have been. She- Lily would have done the same for her friends by giving the potions to them if it meant saving them the agony of being tortured just so whoever it was looking for her, even if Severus didn't want to admit it James had died protecting Lily and Harry where he had failed.

Even though he felt like a perverted old man for what he had done to Potter. "Harry, I'm sorry. If it hadn't me the first time, then it would have been someone far worse than myself," That was something that Harry already knew. If it had not been Severus it would have been Lucius Malfoy the first time if not someone far much worse. The LeStrange brothers had been the worst for Harry. One tortured and watched while the other fucked only to trade up and exchanged positions once the other was done raping him.

It was then that shocked Severus to his bones, Harry had looked up at him at that point said said faintly, "I'm grateful that it was you that stole my virginity and not someone else as the first." Severus genuinely looked shocked, because he It had been his first time having sex. Severus closed his eyes, unsure of how Harry could forgive him for stealing something so precious from him, what was meant to be shared with someone you loved. There was no really thing to say to that besides to say why and how could Harry forgive him for what he did to the Headmaster, to the boy himself. Maybe now Severus could understand what Albus meant by Harry's greatest capacity was love and was easily able to forgive. Although, Severus thought it was best to save all the questioning for another time.

"Lunch is ready, should you want to eat?" Severus said, he could tell that Potter wanted too. Even though Harry didn't feel that his stomach could handle the food, he needed to try. To at least allow his stomach to get use to the food again. It was then that Harry's stomach roared something fierce, and he blushed with embarrassment.

Harry knew that it had been two and a half months since he had genuinely ate substantially food. He knew Severus had fixed something light for him. He just didn't know if he could handle it even at all. Even if his stomach had roared as it had.

Severus could see the internal battle that was going on within Harry just to feed his body the nourishment it needed to heal what injuries he had. "Potter...Harry, you need to eat. To try at least to build your strength back up." Harry watched Severus as he crept closer to him.

"STAY, please just stay where you are." Severus stopped in his tracks feeling his face flush. "Sorry." Harry hardly every heard Snape apologize about anything, but since his rape. He heard the man apologize to him numerous of times now. Harry closed his eyes and sighed, "I don't have any clothes." Harry barely whispered it.

Severus should have realized that Potter hadn't any clothes. The Dark Lord and strip him of any clothes had previously wore. "One moment," Severus spoke as he stood and walked away. Harry was far to weak to stand on his own. It was out of fear and adrenaline that he had even moved to begin with.

He heard a knock at the door this time, "Come in." Harry spoke weakly looking up at the door from where he sat in the corner. He watched Severus come in with a few white shirts, pants, and robes of arrange of color. The robes had been the shocker for Harry, you never saw Severus in anything other than black then.

"I don't know how well they will fit, but I will shrink them down for you Potter." He said looking at Harry. Severus watched Harry pull himself up along the wall. He knew that Potter was being stubborn, and he knew Harry was afraid of touch now and would flinch even with someone he trusted dearly.

"Potter...Harry..." Severus tried speaking to Harry. Harry just threw him a look one of pain and determination. One that he would do this himself and only himself. Harry would dress himself and only himself. It wasn't like he didn't trust Severus, he just couldn't do it now. Not so soon after his rape, he didn't- he just could not do it now. Everything still so fresh in his mind, he still could feel everything- every touch- everything. It made him shudder it made his body wish to scream. But again there was nothing he could do about it right now. Harry did make a promise to himself, should he meet any on the battlefield that had raped him they would die by his hand and his alone.

One more look to Severus who was still standing next to the bed. "Will you please leave, so I may dress?" Looking up at him with the emerald green eyes that Harry had. They pleaded with Severus to leave, "I'll be right outside should you need hell, or when you are finished." Severus would need to know the latter to shriek the clothes so they would fit him better.

Harry glanced down at the clothes that were at the end of the bed. He picked up one of the spare white shirts that Severus had loaned him. Harry picked it up and smelled of it, it smelled of Severus it was frightening to Harry, but yet comforting in the same sense if t was possibly to make any sense at all. Harry dropped the sheet he had wrapped around his body. His body ached like nothing that he could believe, it was riddled with bruises and contusions all over. Harry pulled the shirt on slowly trying not to aggravate any old wounds on his body.

Next item was the pants, while his rear was still very tender. As much as he wanted the issue fixed, he wasn't ready for Severus to touch him. He stood weakly but enough to pull his pants up on him. He grabbed the dark blue robe, "Severus?" He called, he was ready to have the clothes shrunk so they'd fix. Severus muttered the spell he wasn't able to make it out. "Ready to eat now?" Harry heard Severus already ask once before the clothes, as much as Harry wanted too he didnt wish to force himself only to make himself sick. Harry knew that Severus was right, that he needed to eat to regain his strength if it mean to keep his promise for himself.

"Yes, I'm ready, sir." Severus watched as he grabbed a hold of the riling at the end of the bed pulling himself up. "Do quit being so stubborn and let me help you?" Harry turned back to glare. It would still take some time, but he would eventually going to the test. He had to do this himself, he ha to make sure that his will was yet not spoken. Severus said nothing more after that, but following Harry in case he fell down the stairs.

Next chapter; lunch, in the late evening Harry's injuries cause him to become deathly ill from his wounds becoming infected. Severus sits at his bedside talking to himself while Harry sleep.