Chapter 3: I'm Not Sure, I Understand Only a Little, I Can Hardly See
(I'm Not Sure)
Saturday mornings at District Four were Finnick's favourite. First, there were no classes and home works were not due until Monday; second, he could wake up whenever he wanted to no matter how late; and lastly, he gets to spend time with his friends on the beach and basically do nothing.
But because of his five month absence from Four, it seemed to Finnick that his friends—or rather friend of the moment, Danny Cross—had other plans.
"Wakey time, Finnie!" Danny knocked loudly on his bedroom door before eventually coming in and drawing the blanket off from the Victor's sleeping figure. He also took the liberty of dramatically pulling the curtains aside and let the morning light enter the room.
"I can hear you, Danny, damn it!" Finnick finally cracked after Danny shouted another, pleasant, yet somewhat exuberant "Good Morning" right beside his ear.
"Time to stretch those legs, kiddo! We've got work to do."
"You've got work to do." Finnick groaned as he sat grumpily on his bed, his lids still heavy.
"Well, well, well... Is Finnick Odair too weak to handle the pier?" Danny mocked.
"I'm even too weak to handle going down the stairs." Finnick rolled his eyes and slumped back once again.
"What?" Danny snorted and now started to pull Finnick off the bed. "What did you do last night? Did Johnny make you stay up late? Oh, c'mon, Fin!"
Danny put his hands on his waist, a little bit confused and angry. Finnick never passed a chance to work on the docks before.
"It's just—oh don't look at me like that, Danny! It's a Saturday for the whale's sake! Why do I need to wake up this early? What time is it, huh, seven thirty?"
"Six, actually"
"Oh for heavens—six o'clock in the morning!"
Finnick pulled back the forgotten blanket over his body and tried to drown out Danny's complaints.
"Waking up in six in the morning has never been a favourite hobby of mine. See your way out."
Danny chuckled and scratched his head. "So I'm betting it wasn't Johnny who kept you up last night."
Finnick snorted, wanting nothing more but for the intruder to finally get out of his house.
"It was Annie, wasn't it? Were you thinking about her again?"
Danny knew it was unfair saying that seeing how... disturbed Finnick was since his Games. But Finnick cannot live like that anymore. Not when Danny's there to protect him from himself.
Though at that moment, Danny was more particularly having a hard time trying not to smirk when Finnick suddenly awoke and glared at him for a good two seconds—his expression explicitly telling the older that he will pay for that remark. He then grudgingly got off the bed and into his large bathroom, ego seemingly tainted.
"So," Danny heard Finnick muffled from inside, "How many boats today?"
Danny shook his head and finally let out laugh.
"YOU'RE late today, daddy." Annie frowned as Willard Cresta slowly climbed down the rickety stairs of their house and let out a huge yawn. She was already preparing breakfast and usually her father won't be there yawning and stretching and looking all tired and sleepy.
"Well the young lads seem to be very excited for the Bonfire they tend to be so competitive than merely be enthusiastic while fishing. I never understood why and I could never really comply."
"Well, they get to light the bonfire, that's why. If they have the largest haul for the season..." Annie rolled her eyes.
"Of course you're not easily impressed, my little pearl. Just like your mother." Mr. Cresta grinned and sat down on the wooden chair of their dining place, a mere ten feet away from the kitchen where Annie was busy cooking.
"I wonder how the young boys in the school react to your indifference." Annie's father continued to tease. It became some sort of a routine for Willard to ask Annie about "her" boys almost every other breakfast. It didn't bother Annie before but lately, his jokes about her settling down didn't seem like jokes at all. It was as if he was making sure she'd have somebody to take care of her; like he was reminding her that he too, like her mother, would be gone soon. And Annie didn't like it.
"Your mother wasn't as excited when I lit the bonfire when we were your age. I remember she purposely left the party just when I was lighting the pit. There I was hoping she'd see me." Annie's father continued. "It didn't help that I beat her father, your grandpa Earl, for the haul."
"Well that's really someway to impress a girl, daddy—beating the in-law."
She placed some spoonfuls of scrambled eggs on the two plates that were already laid out on the table. She then tore the brown paper bag that held freshly baked bread. Annie was supposed to take some sea weed rolls but opted for the loaf as she thought of making sea weed soup later for lunch.
"Are you still coming to the docks with me?" Mr. Cresta asked as they both started to eat.
"Sure," Annie replied, "I have nothing to do anyhow."
Mr. Cresta chuckled. "You'd bring me lunch, of course?"
Annie rolled her eyes but nodded.
"Good. I really hate to dine in the market today. Nasty things I hear when they gossip. I'm surprised the District Guards haven't had the hold of those sea urchins! Although," Annie heard her father snigger. "I did hear something about Danny wanting to finally marry Liz. Whaddya say, my pearl?"
"Well it's about time." Annie shrugged.
"Oh, remember the scandal they made? Living together without even getting married? Now, not that I approve or anything, but I've been telling time and again to all the others at the market that Danny and Liz are of age. They can do anything! And those kids are responsible. Remember how they took care of poor Finnick after his family's death?"
Annie stopped her fork midway and blinked. "Of course. That was, well... It was terrible. I mean, what happened to Finnick."
Mr. Cresta clicked his tongue. "Well Danny sorted the lad, at least. And you, of course you helped didn't you, Annie? And the rest of your friends?"
"Well... Johnny mostly."
"Ah, well... that should teach all of us a lesson, my pearl: never abandon your friends."
Annie looked up at his father and he winked at her as he unfolded his napkin and placed it on his lap. Annie believed that her father was quite aware of how much he had hit a nerve right there.
After a while, unsuccessful in eliciting some sort of a response from Annie, Mr. Cresta cleared his throat and flawlessly changed the topic.
"Well, I do hope the lads are done competing with each other by the time I get to the docks. I would want to sail without some random boat speeding up on me."
Annie nodded, finding her composure once more. "Still, be careful daddy."
"Oh, don't I always? Now about lunch..."
ANNIE sighed deeply as she washed the morning dishes. Ever since the death of her mother when she was nine, Annie somewhat took over the household works. Although she must admit that they were very easy chores. Her father could afford some time off from fishing as the money he earned for two days of sailing was enough to last them for a week's worth of expenses—if not more. It also helped that her father was a very skilled fisherman. He had spent most of his time at the sea during his younger days and basically learned all the techniques in fishing by just watching and observing the fishermen back then. And with nothing else to do in the District except to fish, her father made sure he succeed to become one of the best.
And he was.
Willard Cresta, who left almost an hour or so ago from a rather uncomfortable breakfast, reminded her to enjoy the rest of the morning like he would be since he would be fishing.
"Don't wear yourself out my pearl. It's a Saturday! Have fun! Why don't you visit Finnick for a change?"
It took a lot of effort for Annie not to roll her eyes.
It wasn't foreign to anyone within a mile radius of their house that Willard wanted Annie to marry Finnick Odair. And how, bless their souls, the Odairs wanted Finnick for her as well. It was an unwritten arrangement between the families as both were very fond of each other's child. That and the fact that the Odairs lived just next door (until Finnick won in the Games and had to transfer to the other side of the District in the Victor's Village) and were basically like a part of the family.
All of those arrangements were a joke for Finnick and Annie. They never became the best of friends nor did they become enemies. They were just friends—as simple and as plain as some random beach sea shell.
Annie grew up seeing Finnick every morning, sometimes even walking alongside him and his brother, Dylan, as they made their way towards the school. Sometimes she would watch him goof around and earn a bit of shouting from his mother, Natalia, about his misbehaviour whenever Annie's on the porch. He would always smile shyly at her and then scratch his head.
It was Dylan, though, who usually had the nerve to approach Annie and ask her of what she was reading. His then eight years old self would sit down on the porch and she would read him some poetry.
"I think Fin would love to read those." The little boy once said. "He just said he'd rather fish but I know he's lying."
"How so?"
"He kept on asking what we're reading and I wouldn't tell him. His ears turned red in jealousy, I think."
Annie had forgotten where she put the book. With all that's happening around her family at that time—the death of her mother, her shock, her father's short depression—Annie barely remembered living an unproblematic life. It didn't help that two years after, she would be eligible for the Games.
Disrupting her own thoughts, Annie finally turned off the tap and arranged the dishes to dry on the counter. She then went out to pick some herbs and vegetables in the little patch she grew with her dad over the years. As she did though, she can't also help but notice the blocked windows of the Odair household.
The house was unkempt and there were weeds growing on the once trimmed yard and vines climbing the now faint walls. The glass windows were also dusty and cobwebs were making themselves comfortable in the awnings of the porch.
It seemed just like yesterday, but really, as Annie shook her head and crouched down to pick some of the thyme and parsley, it was all too long ago. Everything had changed. And soon, in two months time, when Chivy Dweller picks out two new names, everything will change once more.
As it always did.
(I Understand Only a Little)
"SO what's got your pretty hair in twists, Finnie?" Danny asked him again as he tried to haul up a large basin of fish on his shoulder. Finnick grumbled as he walked towards the pier where a number of market vendors were buying from the fishermen.
"S'non of your business, actually." Finnick huffed, finally settling down the load and avoiding the gaping looks and giggles of the women on the pier. Danny came a few seconds later with his own haul and properly set it as well.
"Of course it's not! I'm just curious, is all. You get so defensive easily." Danny chuckled and pushed Finnick playfully.
"Shove off."
They walked, still ignoring the female giggles, back to the docks where a few more boats started to line up and needed to be tied to the bollards. Finnick pulled the thick ropes of the nearest boat to him and started to knot.
"You know," Danny said beside him, "You used to enjoy this, Finnick."
Finnick ignored him.
"Yes, yes, you did." Danny added thoughtfully. "Now I wonder why you look so pained doing all the knots."
"Danny," Finnick wiped the sweat from his forehead before rolling his eyes, "I look so pained because you're stepping on the rope and I can't tie it any longer." Finnick tugged the lengthy rope, causing Danny to trip and chuckle.
"You also got some temper now."
"Just shut up, Danny."
Danny walked forward and helped Finnick finish tying the knots. They moved silently towards another bollard and started tying once more.
"You can talk to me, you know." Danny said cautiously.
Finnick sighed. "I know."
"Then?"
"Then what?"
"Tell me what's bothering you."
Finnick wanted to deny the fact that he wanted some talk. He wanted to say he didn't need small talks. But who was he kidding? He needed it. Badly.
"Is it Annie, Fin? Is she the one bothering you?"
Finnick thought about it. Was it really Annie? He spent most of his time last night not really trying to sleep. He kept himself awake to contemplated on the things about his somewhat peculiar relationship with Annie.
Truth be told though, it wasn't just the thoughts of Annie keeping him awake at night. There were far worse thoughts than Annie hating on him that invaded him every night.
"No," Finnick finally replied. "Not really."
Danny made a curious, doubtful nod at him. All his friends thought it was Annie. Johnny, Linda, Danny, and Liz. All of them though it was Annie who bothers him the most.
But again, no, not really.
"She'll come around, don't worry. You know girls, Fin. They have all these emotions up and running all the time. You should see Lizzie when it's that time of the month. Oh, boy," Danny chuckled as he took the rope from Finnick as the latter suddenly became frozen in place. "It's ugly."
Finnick continued to stare at water below the docks. It was moving gently along the waves, some of the boats lined up were swaying lightly along with it.
But it wasn't the waves that distracted him.
"Oh, hell with it Finnick! You're playing mute now?" Danny said, obviously crossed at him. "Why did I even bother? You know what? The next time—"
"Shut it, Danny."
There, walking towards them, reflected by the waves of District Four, was a figure with long brown hair. She stopped—hesitant as shifted slightly—then continued. Not sooner after Finnick took a deep breath, she spoke. And Finnick could tell, with the sudden heat that spread all over his body, that she was close. She was damn close to him.
"Hello." She said.
"Oh!" Finnick heard Danny's surprised yet sniggering voice. "Annie, what are you doing here?"
Finnick saw in the reflection that she raised the linen bag in her hand.
"Lunch for dad."
Danny cleared his throat, "Of course. Well, I did see him earlier. Though I have to say he's still there. See? That's his mast." Danny pointed towards the sea where a few more boats were sailing. "That's his, isn't it? The tallest one?"
Annie nodded. "I guess I'm too early then. I'll just come ba—"
"Don't wear yourself out, Annie. You can sit inside the shack and wait. Your dad'll come along in a few minutes." Danny assured her.
"I really don't want to be in anyone's way, and you two seems to be busy."
"What? No, we're not. Fin was just finishing this off, are you not, Fin?"
Finnick felt a hard nudge on his side. Unwillingly, he looked up at Annie. She was looking at him curiously and after a moment, directed her eyes somewhere else. If Danny, Finnick thought, didn't feel the awkwardness that suddenly swelled throughout the entire dock, then he was made of stone.
Finnick tried to compose himself. "Yeah, we're almost done here. The shack will be a nice spot for you to wait."
"Well if you two really don't mind..." Annie tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears.
"No, go on. We'll follow you there in a few." Danny smiled.
Finnick watched Annie took a final glance at her father's mast before walking towards the shack, her linen bag slightly swaying beside her.
Danny returned to the bollards, dragging Finnick along.
"You now also have the attention span of a two year old." Danny kidded.
Finnick took the rope Danny handed him and absentmindedly started tying. He heard the latter click his tongue.
"You must remember that this is a very small district. She'll be everywhere, Finnie, and this won't be the last of it. You better brace yourself."
FINNICK didn't want it to happen.
Of course he didn't.
But would she take that as the truth?
Of course, she wouldn't.
And that's what made him so mad, so angry. Why did she think he wanted it to happen?
Did Annie honestly think that he wanted her splashing down on the ocean? How in that ridiculously long hair of hers did she actually think he wanted her to be drenched? Annie Cresta would be the death of him, Finnick realized. Surely.
It was all going well. After tying the last of the boats, Finnick and Danny went back to the shack to accompany Annie while waiting for Willard Cresta. They had a pretty good conversation (at least Danny and Annie was) with Danny making fun of everyone on the pier while slightly blushing when Annie asked if it was true he's finally marrying Liz.
"Well," He said as he scratched his semi-bald cut hair. "I suppose we're getting there."
Annie offered her congratulations and hugged Danny. They then started talking about dates and traditions and song numbers that Finnick actually lost track of it. It was a relief when he finally saw the mast of Willard Cresta slowly making its way towards the shore. Not too long after he mentioned it, Annie decided to meet her father on the docks and went out of the shack. Finnick and Danny followed suit. After that that, though, Finnick just wished he didn't.
He clearly remembered that Danny was just telling him to close the shack's door when almost instantly, Finnick found himself suddenly lying on the dock's washed-out floorboard, his chin hurting like hell, and hearing a tiny yet screeching gasp before the sound of splashing water.
"Annie!" Danny exclaimed. He heard her cough; possibly from the salt water she might've swallowed. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm –I'm alright."
Finnick watched, still at awe, as Danny bent down and helped Annie climb up. What just happened? He seemed so lost Finnick even thought his exfoliating at the Capitol was taking a toll on his system. But when he tried to finally stand up, understanding dawned upon him.
He pushed her into the water.
Accidentally.
His foot got tangled up with some ropes that he lost his balance and accidentally bumped into Annie and stupidly fell on the floor. Fortunately for Annie, her landing was softer.
"Well," Danny started. With the tone of his voice, Finnick knew he was trying very hard not to laugh. "That was unfortunate."
"Uh-huh." Annie said, sitting on the edge of the dock and squeezing out the water from her hair. "Tell me about it."
Finnick tried to disentangle the ropes. "I'm sorry, really. My foot got caught, I didn't mean to."
Annie looked at him, her face quite flushed. "Yeah, well..."
"I'll go get some towels." Danny scurried back to the shack.
Finnick was finally able to set his foot loose on the knots. Slowly, he inched closer to Annie and unconsciously ran his hand through his hair, sheepish.
"Seriously, Ann, I didn't mean to."
Annie blinked. She turned to look at him with an odd expression on her face.
"Don't." She said.
"Don't what?" Finnick said in a retort. "Apologize? C'mon Annie, we're too old for tha—"
"That's not what I meant."
Finnick sighed and shook his head. "Then don't what?"
"Don't call me... Ann."
Finnick didn't know why but his temper flared up. Instantly. What was wrong with calling her Ann? He loved that nickname. That was the nickname he usually called her.
"Why not?" Finnick replied, not intending to lower down his voice.
"Just don't, Finnick." Annie stood up and walked back towards the shack. But Finnick caught her arm and looked at her intently.
He wanted to know what went wrong between them. They were friends. Why did that had to change? Year after year it got worse. Every time he tried to come closer, she would push him away like he was some sort of a freak she had to get rid of. Finnick admitted he was a freak. The ocean—the molluscs—knew how much he was of a freak he even felt so ashamed for himself.
But Annie?
Annie whose innocence had always astounded him? Whose pure heart that relentlessly overlooked the bad things in all of the people in District Four?
Finnick didn't even think it was possible. She could not hate him.
"Why?" Finnick started once more, gripping her arm tighter. "Is it now David's nickname for you?"
Annie glared at him, her green eyes piercing.
"What are you talking about? David has nothing to do with this. You pushed me into the ocean!"
"Accidentally!"
"Oh I bet it was! Finnick Odair accidentally pushed Annie Cresta down into the ocean so that he could scold her again. Why, wanting to pick another fight, Fin? Or is it now The Great Finnick Odair, like what they call you in the Capitol?"
"Everything really has to end and begin with that, shouldn't it Cresta? It's not my problem I got popular! It's not my problem that I won and they didn't! And I won't, not even in another lifetime, regret coming back to the Capitol!"
"Of course you wouldn't. You and your arrogant self belong there! I don't even understand why you come back."
"I still have some people here who think highly of me." Finnick sneered. "Unlike you."
"Well pity that the only people who think highly of you are the ogling girls wanting nothing but to have a go with you!"
"Well let them have a go!" Finnick released her arm. "Why won't you do the honors and tell them I'm available?"
"Oh you would want that, don't you? Having everyone tightly wrapped around your finger? But let me tell you this, Odair. Never, not in a millions years, will I be one of them. I will never be one of your girls!"
Annie huffed and started walking away from him again and back towards the pier.
"Of course you are ever so righteous!" He called after her.
Annie stopped and turned around. She was frowning, almost laughing, that Finnick felt somewhat ashamed.
"Righteous." Annie nodded, "Yes, I am righteous. And just because I'm here in Four doesn't mean I don't hear things Finnick." Annie suddenly looked at him with an expression he could not fathom. Sadness? Disbelief?
"Five women, Fin? Sometimes even ten?"
Finnick froze.
She knew.
With one last defiant stance, as if she realized her sudden shift in disposition, Annie once again became enraged at him.
"You're disgusting."
WILLARD Cresta thought that breakfast that morning was eventful. What with Annie's peculiar responses, or lack thereof, to the topic of Finnick Odair, he thought that pretty much of the day would become quite boring.
Well, he had to think again.
After getting his lunch inside the shack, Danny hurriedly explained to him of the small ruckus that happened just before he got to the docks. Finnick and well, unsurprisingly, Annie got into a small clash, literally and figuratively, that Danny didn't want to get into too many details.
"Well, she did fall off the docks. That pretty much explains everything." Danny shrugged at him while a still furious—and slightly mumbling—Finnick stood just outside the shack.
"It'll be over soon, Will." Danny added. "You know these teenagers."
Willard actually laughed. "Well you know these two! Always fighting like cats and dogs. But I tell you Danny, they always come around. Always."
But when he got back to the house, Annie, who was still in much of a frown as Finnick, was out in the backyard, aggressively ploughing the small vegetation.
"I think the oregano's still doing alright."
Annie tuned around. She breathed deeply and then continued cultivating the soil.
"I thought lunch was good today. Sea weed soup." Willard slowly walked towards her, his hands on his pocket.
"Well don't destroy the tomatoes dear, they grow rather slowly than the herbs."
As he said it, Annie ploughed even harder that soil was almost raining on him.
"Annie," Willard took hold of her arm slowly and tried to take away the garden hoe. "Stop it."
After finally being able to get a hold of both her hands, Willard lifted her daughter's chin. It didn't surprise him that she was tearing up, if not already sobbing.
"Annie?"
She looked at him with such sadness.
"I was so mean, daddy."
"No you were not. Well, I think at least you weren't." He shrugged.
"He didn't deserve it. I said so many horrible things."
"Well, we all do and say horrible things every day, my pearl." He tried to reassure her. "Just yesterday I told Henry Roy that he's gaining some weight, not realizing that he was actually sick in the stomach and had some hot compress underneath his shirt."
"That's different."
"Or what about when Amabee Grover went to borrow my boat for a date he had and I actually told him my boat doesn't come in with luck?"
"Daddy! You said that?"
"Well, not explicitly. I told him love means hard work. And hard work means actually doing something and not relying on the stars or the skies, or the fishes in the ocean."
Willard put his arms around Annie, and like a little girl, Annie enveloped him as much.
"You are not a bad person, my pearl. And because you're not a bad person, you know exactly what to do next."
Willard looked at his daughter sternly as she looked at him frowning.
"Annie?"
She sighed.
"Alright, alright. I'll apologize."
"Very good. Your mother and I raised you well."
Annie sniggered slightly. "You get to cook dinner though."
Willard laughed, "That I will."
"And I'm sorry about the garden."
"Well, at least you got them all covered. I really dislike ploughing."
(I Can Hardly See)
It was dusk when Annie had the courage to place down the book she was reading and finally head down towards the Victor's Village. Her father had been telling her time and again that she should have gone right after they finished cleaning up the backyard she destroyed. Annie, on the other hand, had a litany of excuses for her father.
"Finnick's still at the pier, daddy."
"He might be with Danny and I don't want Danny to be there when I apologize."
"Don't you think he's too tired from working? I can go tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. Or even the next?"
"Maybe I should just send him a letter."
"Johnny could go for me. He would understand."
But Willard gave her a stern glance that Annie decided it was time. She needed to get it over with somehow. Besides, she didn't want it hanging around inside her head for the rest of the night.
Annie was already crossing the town square and enjoying the patterns the cobble stones made when a familiar voice surprised her from behind.
"Going somewhere?"
Annie turned around. When she saw the figure leaning in the nearby mahoe tree, she relaxed.
"David."
He walked towards her, hands on his pockets. He looked dashing, Annie admitted. Even with dark pants and gray t-shirt, David was still really, really handsome. It also did help that the sun was setting just as beautifully behind him.
"You are going the wrong way you know? The sun's behind us, what are you doing wasting such a sunset?"
Annie laughed. "Well, I have to be somewhere, really. I do wish the sun would look like that tomorrow as well."
"You might get lucky, who knows?"
"Well, what about you? What are you doing there by the tree?"
"Not wasting the sunset. It's too beautiful to ignore." David grinned. "That and of course I had to help my father from his haul today. That explains the smell."
"I really didn't want to ask at first, but thank you for telling." Annie jokingly scrunched up her nose as Danny rolled his eyes at her.
"Seriously, though, where are you headed?"
Annie took a deep breath and offered a light smile. "To the Victor's Village, actually."
David raised an eyebrow. It was Annie's turn to roll her eyes.
"Long story, David."
"I have time." He shrugged. When Annie didn't respond, David hesitated to ask but did so after a few seconds. "I could walk you there if you like."
Annie smiled at the offer. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."
"I know you'll be fine, but from the looks of things—you know, the way you actually paled when I asked where you're going—it seems that you don't want to go there in the first place."
Annie's eyes narrowed as she observed him. "Sneaky."
"I try my best." David chuckled. "So what do you say? I could be of moral support?"
"Well, that's seems interesting for you to say knowing that you actually don't know why I'm going there."
"You know there is a reason why it's a long walk towards the Victor's Village. We all know how some victors could be so full of themselves that they want to be separated from us, commoners. But people like you, with a kind heart and soul, prefer to take matters into their own hands—even if it is indeed a long crossing."
"Well if the victor you're pertaining to is Finnick Odair then I might say you're not wrong at all. I cannot picture sweet old Mags being, as you put it, full of herself."
"That and the fact that the other Victors aside from the two of them are already in the Capitol being famous."
Annie nodded.
"So it's settled then. I'm the moral support?"
Annie twitched her lips. She eyed David one more time, debating whether she wanted him to be 'involved' with the matter.
Well of course he wouldn't be, she thought to herself. It was just a walk anyway. And David had always been so nice to her, making her the crab soup the other day.
"Well," Annie responded. "If you insist then."
David grinned brightly that even Annie felt lighter. Meeting Finnick Odair with a moral support wasn't as bad as she thought.
IT WAS truly a long way to the Victor's Village, it being on the other side of the District. But long walks in Four was something very familiar and customary. It was clean in the Disrict, for one, and the sceneries were very beautiful. It may not look like the Capitol, but District Four was considered one of the richest in all of Panem. They did provide all the sea foods for the entire nation and their trade was still in the standards of living.
It didn't go unnoticed though that the majority of the riches of the District didn't go to its deserving people. Just a few months ago, the Capitol ordered the redevelopment of the Mayor's house and ordered new guns for the guards. Not a single donation was given to the West Villages where the shore dikes were destroyed from last year's horrible typhoon. The fishermen also suffered a lot from the increasing tariffs that the office of the Mayor's been imposing every month. And in the school, instead of repairing some of the old classrooms the eighth grade students had been using (and hiring a somewhat more decent and more capable teachers), the local government was keen on developing the training centers in preparation for the Games.
"Well, you can't blame them, Annie. They want the children—us—to be prepared for the games."
He and Annie had been discussing the status of the District while walking towards the Victor's Village. David, was careful and a bit uptight with the subject, but she, David noticed pressed on. Talking about the quality of life in Distirct Four had always been an importance to her.
"I know, I know. But it makes us forget the more important things."
"Much more important than staying alive through the games?"
Annie paused for a moment. David did too.
How he wished to know what was going on inside that pretty head of hers.
"Yes," Annie finally said, looking up at him thoughtfully. "There are some things that are really precious that you'd be willing to die in exchange of having it."
David narrowed his eyes and curiously nodded. He followed after Annie who, by the looks of it, was suddenly in a good mood she might as well be skipping.
"Well, I'm sure you know what these precious things are?" David called afterwards.
Annie turned around and grinned, her hands behind her. She looked just like a child.
"Oh, I don't know." Annie teased. "You must find that out yourself."
And just like from photographs and books, David thought, with the right timing and all, the sea wind softly breezed through her hair, lightly and delicately swaying her long brown hair; her cheeks blush, her light dress just fit enough to snug the right proportions of her body. Her eyes, her sea green eyes.
Suddenly, David couldn't help but feel, well, warm and delighted.
"I don't know how long it will take. But you'll find out soon enough." She continued. "We're near. Shall we?"
David, who finally snapped back from his short trance, slowly made their way, finally, inside the Victor's Village with Annie.
Arranged in semi-circle, the houses that were built were huge and intricately beautiful. The small bushes that surrounded the small rotunda was in full bloom with different kinds of flowers.
"Well," Annie turned to him once more. "Thanks for walking me here."
David smiled politely. "It's my pleasure."
"Oh," Annie continued. "Thanks for the crab soup the other day. And I'm sorry I was a bit, annoying. Well, you know me."
"Well, actually, I don't." David replied. "Not that much anyway. Of course, I want to, I just... Well, you know..."
Annie laughed. "I understand. Well, the walk seemed a nice way for us to get to know each other."
"Yeah, it was. Truly."
"Well you better—"
"You know I really like to wait for you here." David cut her off. "I mean, it's kind of dark now, and well we both live in the West Village, so I just thought..."
Annie laughed again. She eyed him curiously. Was she appraising him? Bless the sea urchins David hope he looked alright. Well, more than alright he wished.
"I'd love to." She finally spoke.
David blinked. "Really?"
"Why not?" She shrugged. "You're not really insufferable, unlike some other people." Annie rolled her eyes and eyed one of the two lit houses in the Village.
"Right. Finnick. Well you better hurry up. Royalties don't want to wait for commoners."
"Yes, indeed."
Annie waved her hands to bid goodbye and started walking away. He watched as she neared Finnick Odair's house. When he finally let her in, David sat in one of the iron benches at the gates. He looked up the darkening sky, whistling.
You'll find out soon enough, she said.
But David, who glanced back once again towards the Victor's house, realized that he might've just found what he was looking for.
Because maybe, or maybe not maybe but definitely, Annie was the precious thing he would want to die for.
FINNICK just wanted to die. If someone told him they had a pretty much uneventful day he might just punch them in the nose. One person could only take so much on a rough day. He hoped, he prayed, and he begged for peace when he finally came back home in the village.
But of course, it was universally impossible for Finnick to gain peace.
Sitting on one of his kitchen stools (hair now a spiky violet, skin awfully too tan for his taste, rose tattoos covering her legs and gold necklace—Finnick swore the pendant was a vial with what seemed like blood—distinctly dangling around her neck) was another nuisance in his life.
"Finnick!" Chivy Dweller, the District Four escort, bellowed after sipping from the tumbler she was holding on her left hand and a few folders on her right. "I thought you'd never return! Oh, Capitol-dung, what is that smell?"
Chivy dramatically scrunched her nose and eyed Finnick carefully.
"Is that you? Why do so stink so much? You've been here for barely a week and you already reek like a dead fish."
"It's good to see you too, Chiv."
"Well," Chivy's eyebrow rose. "Don't expect me to believe that." She handed her the folders and Finnick groaned in disbelief.
"But I just got back!" He complained, not even bothering to scan through the folders.
"I know." Well, for Finnick's consolation, Chiv did look forlorn about it. "But read it and you might still be quite happy about it."
Finnick crossed the room and entered his living room. There, he slouched down on the couch and tossed the folder away towards the coffee table. Chivy clicked her tongue behind him.
"I told you to read it first."
"Whatever is inside that will not make me feel any better!" Finnick snapped at her.
"Well I'm so sorry you feel that way. But orders are orders, you know that."
She retrieved the folder from the coffee table as she sat too on the couch and flipped it open.
"Here you go. Read it."
Finnick, who narrowed his eyes on her, grudgingly snatched it.
Dear Mr. Finnick Adrion Odair,
Greetings!
First of all, on behalf of the President, Coriolanus Snow, we all wish you a happy homecoming to District Four. We heard from the forecasters that it would be indeed a very sunny and warm summer in your District that we truly wish we could enjoy the sun with the rest of your District's people. But it is unfortunate that we are becoming quite busy in preparation with the upcoming Hunger Games that we might miss the Annual Bonfire once again.
However, as you are very fondly remembered here in the Capitol, it has reached our offices that some of our dearest citizens have requested for your presence once again. There are two of them who had scheduled and reserved the 147th day in the Panem year. Converted to District Four's season, it will be on the 31st day of your summer.
Enclosed are the details you might need as the President has requested that you familiarize your self with them. It might come in useful during the said meetings. Rest assured, you will be back in District Four just in time for the Bonfire celebrations.
Again, we wish you a very prosperous vacation and we are delighted to be seeing you soon!
Sincerely,
Klaus DeMonch
Assistant to the President
"Well," Chivy raised her eyebrows. "It's not so bad, is it?"
Finnick snorted. "At least they had the decency to let me have this two months break."
Chivy eyed him warily, and tutted. "Ahh, what a homecoming could do to oneself."
"Look," Finnick sighed and straightened up on his seat. "It's just that... I really had a bad day and I didn't need more," Finnick pointed at the folder, "of that. I mean, Chivy, I just got back!"
Chivy crossed her legs and sighed. "I know, Fin. But you know what is at stake here."
Feeling absolutely exhausted, Finnick placed his head on his hands. Just one more annoyance for this day and he might just break down in tears.
He looked at Chivy, almost accusingly. "You know, you shouldn't even be here consoling me."
She actually laughed.
"Well, I do my job right and they don't bother me. Besides," She purred, "You're my favourite victor."
Finnick groaned. "Not those jokes, Chiv. Not funny, not really funny."
If Mags was like his grandmother, Chivy was his mother. Foreign even on the customs of the poorest and most sympathetic citizens, an escort had never been known to be too friendly to the tributes. But Chivy, a deviant at heart, with her short hair and leather attire, thought different.
"If I'm the last person who would deliver you before your death, I make sure you'll have the greatest time."
That was what she said on the night before Finnick's game. And although born and raised in the Capitol, Chivy was one of the few people he knew who possessed genuine feelings like a real human being. Until now, Finnick couldn't fathom how she ended up being an escort instead of an Avox.
"How do you do it, Chiv? How can you stomach this?" Finnick asked as he slouched back and stared towards the ceiling.
She shrugged and drank once again from her tumbler. "You'd get used to it, kid. And at the end of it all, no matter how much it stings, you'd still end up being numb."
Finnick thought for a moment, contemplating on how much that did make sense.
He remembered the night on the train when he travelled back to the Capitol for his first ever trade. He remembered the look of pity on Chivy's face.
"I assure you," She said then. "You are not the first to do this. There's a long line ahead of you."
Finnick, then only sixteen years old, the fresh wound of his family's death still etched on every part of his skin, was crying. It was the first time he cried in front of a stranger.
"Why are they doing this?" he asked.
"To please themselves." She shrugged. After a moment, she sat down beside him and gently patted his shoulder.
But right now, Finnick was already far from just getting used to it. It passed through him. It lived inside him.
And it disgusted him.
He was disgusted at how he can now easily accept all their offers. Five straight months in the Capitol made him feel robotic, shallow, and worst of all, empty.
He looked at Chivy who was now slouching like him on the other side of the sofa.
"I want to help you Finnick," she said as if reading his mind. "But you know how things get complicated."
Finnick sighed heavily and rested his head again on the couch. He looked up at his ceiling where a chandelier was hanging, shining and glittering as it reflected the natural light of the afternoon. How he just wished he could turn into one of those crystals and bask in the rays of the sun.
"You know there are worst days, Fin." Chivy whispered and stood up from the couch. "And besides, you'll be back before the Bonfire. You wouldn't miss anything. You could still ask her out."
Finnick looked at her and narrowed his eyes. "Ask who out?"
Chivy smirked loudly she walked towards the main door.
"You know who I am talking about."
Finnick snorted out, trying not to feel the chills that ran down his spine. "Yeah, as if I could do that."
Chivy stopped as she held the door knob. She looked at him, smiling slightly, and let out a sigh.
"It's not over, Finnick."
Finnick frowned, another realization dawning upon him.
"It is, Chiv. And you know it."
She smiled at him sadly, the only thing Finnick knew she could offer.
And then with one final glance, as if the whole scenario was too much too handle, she left. Just like that. She could not even stay. Duty called—the Capitol called.
Finnick looked back up at the chandelier as he heard the door click. He wished that she didn't leave. How he wished everyone just didn't have to leave. It unnerved him that the sound of his breathing was echoing inside the house.
He hated it.
He hated breathing.
He hated how it just made him realize of how alone he truly was.
Why should they leave? Or die, for that matter?
"Who is it?" Finnick recalled this other question from Chivy at the train. "Who was supposed to be next if you didn't do this?"
It was the simplest and most obvious answer he had ever said in his entire life. There was no one else in his life except her.
And he didn't want her to die.
"Annie." He murmured then, sounding more defeated than ever. "Annie Cresta."
Chivy pursed her lips and tutted. "Ahh, young love. The worst pain of all."
ANNIE rang the doorbell two times now. Why wasn't he answering? She promised herself that she would do it as fast as possible. A small hello, a convincing smile, and a sincere apology would make it all quick. The less time she would spend here, the earlier she could go home.
And David. David was still waiting.
Annie tried to ring the door once more. As she did though, it finally opened, revealing a somewhat dishevelled looking Finnick Odair. His bronze hair was standing everywhere and his eyes were still puffy.
Was he sleeping? Bless the sea horses.
Annie wanted to groan. She couldn't think of a worse timing.
"I'm really sorry, Finnick, I didn't mean to wake you up and I should've just dropped by earlier like what my dad said but I didn't realize you would be sleeping at this time and I really just want to come by and you know, well you know we have to talk, and it really makes me feel—"
"Stop, Annie." He said, frowning a bit. "Breathe, would you?"
Annie closed her mouth and nodded.
"Breathe?" Finnick asked once more, a smirk forming in his mouth.
Annie slightly narrowed her eyes and glared.
"What?" Finnick asked jokingly. "You didn't breathe. You were most likely just restraining to roll your eyes at me."
"I believe you could assume something much worse than that."
"True." Finnick nodded. "But let's save it for a bigger fight, shall we? Come on in."
He fully opened the door and stepped aside. Reluctantly, Annie went in and sheepishly stood inside the large house and looked around.
It wasn't her first time inside a victor's house. She was a frequent visitor at Mags (although she hadn't visited for days now). And Carmine Veller, another victor, was a friend of her mothers. She did transfer to the Capitol and Annie never knew of her whereabouts since then.
Then there was also Finnick, of course. His parents were very keen on inviting Willard and herself for dinner. But after their death and Finnick's frequent absence from the District, it became somewhat an unforgotten tradition. Still though, being inside the house took her breath away.
"... hasn't changed one bit." She murmured.
"Huh? What hasn't changed?"
Annie blinked. "The house. I mean, it's still beautiful."
Finnick also scanned his house.
"I've seen better." He shrugged.
Annie bit her lip to restrain herself from rebutting.
Better? He had seen better?
Well of course, Annie thought again, the houses in the Capitol were far more superior compared to the houses of the Victor's Village. How could she forget?
"So," Finnick crossed his arms and looked at her. "What's up?"
Annie shifted slightly before looking at Finnick. Why did she feel so suddenly cramped inside the ironically large house? Finnick raised his eyebrow after a few moments of her silence.
"Annie?" he added.
"Well," Annie fidgeted and started to play with her fingers.
Finnick sighed beside her. "Just don't."
Annie's eyes widened in alarm. "No! Really, Finnick. I wanted to apolo—"
"I said don't. It's not necessary."
"But Finnick—"
"It's not a big deal."
"It is! I was so mean and rude."
"No you weren't. Well, maybe a little. But that's not my point."
"You see, I was mean! I should've kept my mouth shut. First of all, it's none of my business what you do in the Capitol. I mean it's your life, right? You can do whatever you want. Second, I'm barely in the position to judge you seeing that I'm not even sure of what you're doing in the Capitol in the first place because you know, I just hear things, and confirmation doesn't go easily my way. Third.."
"Annie..."
"... rude. I was just rude, rude, rude. My parents taught me better than to be rude. I mean what I did was unfathomable—and just because I fell off the docks! I mean, I just fell! In the water! My favourite element in the world! It's just, I was too overwhelmed I guess that I..."
"Annie..."
"... but believe me when I say I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And you can insult me back if you like."
Annie ended with a dignified huff.
Finnick was looking at her disbelievingly before a twitch on his mouth betrayed his composure.
He laughed. He laughed so exuberantly Annie felt the color rising on her cheeks. What was wrong with him?
"Ann, I mean, Annie—I—bless the sea weeds—you...should've seen... the look... still very pretty... but, sea horses... you are panicky!"
Annie's temper was suddenly rising.
"Well, I've been told just recently." She snapped.
Finnick snorted, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Oh, hell, Annie. I thought you came here to patch things up."
"I did! But of course you have to ruin it."
"Ruin it? How did I ruin it?"
"Didn't you just laugh a few seconds ago?" Annie now crossed her arms. "Well?"
Finnick shook his head. "Well, damn, it was funny!"
"How could apologizing be funny?"
"Well for one you are apologizing to me."
"And?"
"Are you hearing yourself? Me, Annie. The Finnick Odair that you abhor so much! You are apologizing to me!"
Annie pursed her lips. She didn't abhor him. Dislike, maybe.
"Well?" Finnick now said in return.
"I don't abhor you."
He raised an eyebrow.
"I just... no, you just..."
"I've got time."
"Fine!" Annie stomped her foot. "You really irritate me most of the times, with the way you strut around like you own the world or something! Like you are that person everyone should revere. You just, well, you turned into a snob. You're not some sort of a V.I.P"
"Well, I am actually."
Annie rolled her eyes and started towards the door. "I'm leaving."
"Seriously?"
She didn't respond but Finnick took the swaying of the door open as an answer. He followed after her.
"Well so much for mending things." He kidded. Annie turned around and glared.
"This is not what's supposed to happen."
"Well, like I said. You can't always get what you want."
"Thanks for making that very clear, Odair."
"My pleasure."
"I won't bother doing it in the future."
"Shame. You've always been a lovely person."
"Shut up."
Annie crossed the porch without saying goodbye.
"Hey, Annie!" Finnick called after her but she didn't look back. "Say hello to David for me."