Chapter Four: I know You Care
Clary POV
Aside from little ordeal with Simon, My first day was going pretty well. I was excited to see Jace again in History two periods later. Walking to history was an experience in itself. Being short doesn't work to your advantage at all when it comes to crowded high school hallways.
As I search the hallway for my newly assigned locker to put my math and science textbook in. I reach my locker 2 minutes into the 7minute passing period. As I put my things away the locker suddenly slams shut inches away from slamming my fingers with it.
"What the hell?" I ask the person who slammed my door to see none other than Kaelie and her little clique. Also known as the school sluts.
"I saw you this morning with my Jace walking through the hallway." She says snidely straight to my face.
"That's impossible." I say cooly back to her. This seems to annoy her even more.
"How?" she says in a clipped voice.
" He can't be your Jace. Slavery's been illegal for what? 144 years." I smartly retort back to her. Causing laughs from the crowd starting to surround us.
" Well why would he want some piece of trash like you?" she asks looking at me disgusted?
"Maybe because he could easily wipe off 90% of your face with a towel." I say with a smirk I probably picked up from Jace forming on my face.
There are 'Oooh's and 'Burn's coming from the crowd adding to Kaelie's annoyance.
She looks like she wants to run or scream but she doesn't back off. After a second of watching her think hard can't help but laugh at how hard it is for her to think of a comeback. When she notices me laughing her face turns from annoyed to infuriated. She storms over to and knocks my backpack out of my hand spilling my sketchbook, pencils, phone, and headphones out of it.
"What now, bitch?" She says with a smug look on her face, feeling proud about throwing my backpack.
"You know, I'd slap you right now." I say, still looking at all my stuff on the ground , I finally meet her smug eyes with my smug smirk " but that would be animal abuse." I finish.
There's a loud 'OHHH' that goes through the crowd making them go wild. Kaelie seems lost for a second before she lets out a short scream and storms past me bumping me in the shoulder while doing so. As the crowd starts do deplete I'm left with the mess Kaelie left me with to pick up. As I go toward my sketchbook hands already beat me too it handing me the book.
"Hey there stranger." I hear the owner of the hand say.
I smile already knowing who it is by the sound of her voice. When I look up I see my best friend Isabelle Lightwood squatting next to me to help pick up my belongings.
"It's been a while." She says making me laugh.
"Isabelle I saw you yesterday."
"It seems like years though. So much could've happened in those short hours" she says as we finish putting everything back into my backpack.
"Tell me about it." I say, quietly. Isabelle seems to notice the change in mood and looks up at me concerned.
"I'll tell you later." I say simply which she seems to understand. We're still standing there when the bell rings.
"Look at you!" I say, trying to change the subject. I've always been jealous of how easily she can look good in anything. Right now she's wearing a pair of high waisted shorts and a cut off tee. " You look amazing as always"
"Stop it." She says smiling " you know what they say, Every tall black haired girl needs a short redhead best friend." We both laugh at the comment she makes as we start to walk to history. By the time we reach the door to the room, we were slowed down by talking, we're already 25 minutes late.
Isabelle looks worried about getting in trouble. She isn't only a pretty face but incredibly smart.
"Don't worry," I say "I got you covered. Now pinch my cheeks." She looks confused for a second but goes for it.
"Ouch!" I say "Jesus woman you have a strong pinch." We both giggle quietly so we don't catch anyone's attention while we're outside the room. She knows what I'm trying to do. We've done it before to keep from getting out of a detention. I hold my breath for as long as I can until I feel slightly disoriented and dizzy from the lack of air. When you have cancer that targets the blood, you need as much oxygen as you can get.
We walk into the room together, me stumbling a little. All eyes turn in our direction as Mr. Keily walks up to us looking slightly irritated.
"Well look who decided to show up. Ms. Lightwood, Ms. Morgenstern; would you like to explain yourself to the class or would you like to save your breath and skip to me giving you you're one week detention slips?" I stumble again still slightly dizzy causing Jace to jump out of his seat.
"Sit down Mr. Lightwood." He says sternly "Or should I give these two girls double detention?" He sits down reluctantly glaring at Mr. Keily the entire time.
Isabelle leaves my side to whisper some medical nonsense she probably picked up from her dad. Mr. Keily's glances at me every now and then while she whispers to him. He then points at me to come over to our little sharing circle looking more sympathetic than angry now.
"I apologize for the embarrassment Ms. Morgenstern, you've got a lot going on in your life as I can tell, and I'd hate to make your burden even worse." He says putting his sweaty hand on my arm making it more awkward.
" It seems as though you have a great friend right there to lighten your load if you will." He says laughing at his own joke. Isabelle and I look at each other and then back at him nervously joining in on laughing.
"You girls sit down, I understand If you're late but I won't tolerate you missing my class without a note are we understood?" he says going back into teacher mode.
"Yes sir." We both say at the same time.
"Good, now sit down, you've wasted enough of my class time." He goes back to writing on the board and talking about what we'll be learning over the school year. I find a seat Jace has saved for me at a desk right next to him. Isabelle threateningly glares at the kid sitting to the other side of me who immediately moves. She takes her seat next to me and we both exchange smiles. I cast a reassuring look at Jace who takes my hand under our desks rubbing circles into the back of my hand throughout the entire class period making this my new favorite class.
English went by pretty uneventfully with Jace by my side making the period go by faster. By the time lunch came around I was more than happy for a break from so many packets and orientations. When I enter the lunchroom with Jace we both catch sight of Jonathan with some of the football team calling us over. We nod at him telling him to give us a second to get our lunches. We walk to the lunch line hand in hand, I only get a bottle of vitamin water and an apple. While Jace fills up his lunch tray with a hamburger and fries, an apple, and a bottle of water. Isabelle trails behind us talking to some of her other friends with a salad on her tray. We check out and head toward the table Jonathan is sitting at talking to one of his football friends, Jordan, who happens to be Maia's boyfriend. At the table, Jordan is sitting next to Maia while Jonathan is to the right of him next to his girlfriend Anna. I sit on the other side of the table next to with Isabelle on the end, and me sitting next to Jace. There are other people from the football team that I recognize from coming to my house. Like Meliorn, Tobias, Augustus, Will, Jem and Jullian. I can't help but notice Sebastian, another friend of Jonathan's, sitting awfully close to me at the table.
"Hey Clary, it's been a while." He says looking at me with his mesmerizing black eyes.
"Hey." I say back simply. Picking at my apple.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asks me looking at the apple I've only taken one bite out of.
"Eh. Not really." I say getting up from the table to throw away my apple.
Sebastian seems to take this as an open invitation to follow me throwing away an empty bottle of water. Jace doesn't seem to notice me walking away as he's in a heated conversation on whether Colombia or Costa Rica will have a better chance at winning the World Cup between Jon and Jordan. Boys.
"If it means anything, I think it was pretty cool of you to stand up for yourself against those bitches this morning." He says pinning me against a wall with one of his hands just above my head making me feel slightly uncomfortable.
"You were there?" I say blushing slightly not meeting his eyes.
"Yes. I wouldn't have missed seeing those sluts get owned in front of the school. Besides," he says his eyes smoldering me " You're pretty sexy when you're feisty."
This makes me blush even more making me feel even more uncomfortable. He puts his other hand on the on the wall next to the other side of my head locking me in. When I lock eyes with him, I can't look away. A mesmerizing pool of blackness keeps me locked on him while he talks.
"There's this party this party at my house this Friday where it's invitation only. And would personally like to invite you to it." he says, handing me a thick black envelope, being sure to let his hand linger on mine. "I'd really like to see you there, I can show you around personally." He said, whispering like I'm the only one in the crowded cafeteria.
"Aha." Is all I can make out as I'm still hypnotized in his eyes. That is, until Jace decides to finally step in, hamburger still in hand.
"Hey guys," he says cautiously, his mouth full of food. He looks at Sebastian "What are we talking about?"
"Not much, just inviting Clary to the party this Friday." He says not taking his eyes off of me.
"Cool man. Well if you don't mind, I'd like to steal my girlfriend back." He says throwing away the remainder of his burger and then proceeding to take my hand to bring me back to the lunch table.
Jonathan gives me a one-eyebrow-up look and then goes back to talking to his girlfriend.
"Aren't you hungry?" I hear Jace ask me looking at the vitamin water I've barely touched.
"Not really." I say honestly.
With his dad being my doctor he knows as much as I do how important it is for me to eat. But I just can't bring myself to today. Jace seems to want to say something else but drops the subject as the bell rings signaling our next period, music. This is the only class I have all my friends, and Simon. It's hard to stay mad at someone who's been your best friend for so long, I'm not even sure if I'm the one mad or if it's Jace and Jon who are pissed at him.
As Jace and I walk out of the lunchroom Simon's right there taking my hand out of Jace's before he even knows what's happening and pulls me deeper into the crowd of kids.
"Clary." He starts, looking behind him every now and then to see where Jace is.
"You don't understand how sorry I am, please PLEASE don't be mad at me. You know better than anyone else that I would never do anything to hurt you. There is no way to describe how stupid I was acting this morning." He says pleadingly. I stop him and pull him to the side of the all the moving bodies.
"I saw you Simon. You weren't staring at me, you were staring at my scars. I've known you for 10 years, Simon. What happened in those three years you were gone?" I ask him.
"Clary I'm worried about you, I always have been and always will be. I was worried when heard from your brother that you had cancer after I moved. I was worried everyday I would FaceTime you in the hospital seeing you look so sick. I'm worried about you hanging out with that jockstrap over there." He says nodding his head in Jace's direction who's trying to get to us through the crowd of high school students.
"I care about you Clary. You have to believe me. I love you." He says looking me straight in the eyes.
"I love you too Simon." I say, easily forgiving him.
"Goddammit Clary!" He says, punching the locker right next to me scaring me a little.
"Not like that." He says desperately trying to get his words out before Jace catches up to us "I love you."
"Simon, you're starting to scare me. You don't mean that." I say back just as desperate. I start to walk away from him but he catches my wrist.
"I do Clary. I really do. Can't you tell there's chemistry between us?" he says trying to persuade me.
"I… I … I don't-"
"What did I say Lewis?!" Jace says, finally getting through to us, pushing him into a locker "I'm going to make myself perfectly clear. Stay. Away. From. Her."
He starts to pull me away from him. I hear him trying to talk to me but I'm still too shocked from the words that just came out of Simon. When we finally reach the music room Jace stops before we enter.
"Hey." He says, getting me to look him in the eyes "Are you okay?"
Am I? Will I ever be?
"I'm not sure." I say honestly hugging him around the waist and burrowing my face into his t shirt. "Thank you," I say finally "for earlier."
"Anytime." He says, smiling down at me.
We enter the music room just as the bell rings. The music room is one of my favorite rooms. There is a small raised stage on one side with a piano and facing the stage are some of those crappy plastic chairs every school seems to have. I sit next to Jace with Isabelle right next to me. Jonathan is in front of me sitting next to Jordan and Maia. And to my surprise Simon walks in to sit directly behind me with some other juniors and seniors filing in taking empty seats.
"Hello everyone!" the music teacher, Mr. Blackthorn, says greeting everyone "Welcome to music, I'm going to make this orientation quick. We have music theory every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Every Wednesday and Friday are free days. These days students are allowed to sing a song or play a piece, but please do not make it 'Let it Go'. It will be for extra credit that you can you if your grade slips closer to the end of the quarter. And look what day it is! Do we have any taker for our first free day?" Mr. Blackthorn looks around the class hopefully for a couple of seconds, no one raises their hand. To my surprise, and the rest of the class though,
I raise my hand.
" Oh! This is spectacular!" He says clapping his hands "Ms. Morgenstern come up and sing your heart out!" he says getting off of the stage and sitting in one of the plastic chairs in the audience.
With one last squeeze of the hand from Jace and a wink from Isabelle. I walk up slowly towards to piano and sit down.
"This is I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding." I whisper
"Speak up Clarissa, what was that?" I hear the teacher say.
I take a deep breath and speak up.
"This is 'I Know You Care' By Ellie Goulding." I say this looking straight at Simon who's already on the edge of his seat.
I close my eyes for a second letting my emotions take over me and begin to play.
Clinging to me
Like a last breath you would breathe
You were like home to me
I don't recognize the street
Please don't close your eyes
Don't know where to look without them
Outside the cars speed by
I never heard them until now
I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it
You are just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah, I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin
And I know you care
I used to run down the stairs
To the door and I thought you were there
Do you shape through the comfort of us
Two lovers loved out of love
Oh, but I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it
You are just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah, I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin
And know it wasn't always wrong
But I've never known a winter so cold
Now I don't warm my hands in your coat
But I still hope
'Cause this is how things ought to have been
And I know the worst of it wasn't all that it seemed
Why can't I dream
Why can't I dream
'Cause I know you care
And I know you care
I know you care
I know you care
I know it's always been there
As I play the last keys I can't help but notice tear falling onto my hands. I look down not bothering to look at everyone staring. I feel not only Jace's, but Simon's eyes boring into me especially.
It's silent for a second until someone starts to clap, there's also some people cheering for me but I barely notice from the tightness in my chest, making it unbearable to stay in the same room with Simon. Just as Mr. Blackthorn comes up to the stage, his face beaming, I run off the stage out of the room running until I feel someone grab my shoulder turning around.
"Jesus," Simon says, "you're a fast runner."
I don't want to anything at that moment but hug him. I missed him more than I did when I saw him for the first time in three years this morning. He hugs me back, squeezing me hard.
"How about we just stay friends?" He says with a slight tightness in his voice.
I nod into his shirt.
"I've missed you Lewis." I say, it sounds muffled from saying it into his shirt.
"I missed you too, Morgenstern." He says back
We stay like that in comfortable silence for a couple more minutes until he breaks it by asking,
"I just got friendzoned didn't I?"
"Yup." I say back, simply.
He doesn't say anything else, just hugs me tighter.
AN: YAY! Forgiveness! Tell me if you guys liked me adding the song into this chapter. You guys are amazing and I can't wait to start writing the next chapter!
R & R
XOXO
Erin