(fade to beach. Diana, Zachary, and Julia sit on the beach. Diana is fascinated with her new legs)
Julia: Wow. It worked. Vlad's potion actually worked.
(Anthony flies toward them)
Anthony: Hey guys. Wow Diana! You really look different. Did you get your haircut our something?
Julia: She has legs you asshole!
Anthony: Oh yeah. How did that happen?
Diana: (moves her lips as if to explain to Anthony but no words are heard. Diana realizes that her voice is actually gone and pulls on her hair in frustration)
Zachary: Diana traded her voice for legs from Vlad. And now she's gotta find that prince guy and he's gotta kiss her.
Anthony: Oh cool!
Julia: This is NOT cool! The king is probably looking for you Diana and if he finds out what you've done oh I'm gonna be dead for sure! That's it, we're going back to Vlad. Maybe there's still time. Maybe he can- (Diana smacks her) Ow! Fine! I'll help you!
Diana: (smiles happily)
Anthony: Okay, if you're gonna sweep that guy off his feet then you need a new wardrobe. (Picks up and old boat sail and raps it around Diana making a dress) Perfect! Now we just gotta-
(Cujo comes running toward Diana and barking at her. Diana runs behind a rock)
Alex: Cujo! Get back here! What are you? – (sees Diana) Oh. Um, hi. (looks at her closer) You seem really familiar. Have we met before somewhere?
Diana: (nods her head)
Alex: Really? I knew it! I knew it wasn't just my imagination! You really do exist! What's your name?
Diana: (mouths "Diana" but no words are heard. Diana hits the rock in frustration)
Alex: You can't talk?
Diana: (shakes her head)
Alex: Oh. Then you can't be who I thought you were.
Diana: (gives Alex a frustrated look. She waves her arms around trying to explain everything. She falls off the rock and Alex catches her)
Alex: Whoa! Careful! Jeez…I think you need help. Serious help. Come on, I have a therapist in my castle. I bet he can figure out what's wrong with you. (grabs Diana's hand and takes her to the castle)
Julia: She did it. She actually did it. I don't believe it.
Anthony: Stage one of operation "Get That Prince Guy to fall in Love with Diana", or operation G.T.P.G.F.L.D. for short, is complete!
Julia: I will never understand you.
(fade to Diana in the bath playing with bubbles)
Diana: (thinking) Bubbles, bubbles everywhere! I love bubbles!
Maddie: Washed up from a shipwreck. Oh, the poor thing. We'll have you
feeling better in no time. (Picks up Diana's "dress") I'll just - I'll just
get this washed for you. (hands it to a maid) Burn it. (Diana overhears Maddie)
Diana: (thinking) She just has no taste!
(cut to castle dinning room)
Mr. Lancer: Alex, please. This girl you keep talking about isn't real. You said she's a mermaid and mermaids aren't real. Get over it.
Alex: Never! I refuse to listen to you!
Mr. Lancer: You refuse to listen to anybody. But the fact is that you need to get married to somebody.
Alex: I'm 14 and people expect me to get married? What's the world coming to?!
Mr. Lancer: It's Disney, Alex. They all get married at a young age.
Alex: And they call this a family movie.
(Diana walks in wearing a beautiful dress)
Alex: Holy crap I think I'm in love!
Mr. Lancer: What about that mermaid that rescued you?
Alex: You're right Lancer, she was just a figment of my imagination. (walks over to Diana) You are sitting right next to me.
Diana: (thinking) Yes!
(cut to Julia in the kitchen watching chef Jack cook crabs)
Julia: (looks over at a dead crab) Sucks to be you buddy.
Jack: Looks over at Julia Hey, I missed one! (picks up Julia)
Julia: Oh no you don't! (pinches his nose)
Jack: Ow! (drops Julia. Julia runs across the floor) Get back here! If I don't cook you I won't get paid! (runs after Julia and starts hitting her with a rolling pin)
Julia: Shit!
Jack: Get back here! (crashes into a cabinet) Ow…(falls to the floor)
(Maddie walks into the kitchen)
Maddie: Jack! What are you doing?
Jack: Uh, cooking?
Maddie: (groans)
(cut to dinning room)
Mr. Lancer: I've got an idea Alex. How about you take our guest on a tour of the kingdom tomorrow. How does that sound my lady?
Diana: (nods head and smiles)
Alex: Lancer I don't know if she-(sees Diana smiling at him) Oh fine!
Diana: (thinking) Yay!
(Maddie puts plates on the table in front of them.)
Mr. Lancer: Oh good. I'm starving!
(Diana takes the lip off of her plate and sees Julia sitting there)
Diana: (thinking) WTF?!
Julia: Trust me, you don't want to know.
(Fade to Diana watching Alex and Cujo from balcony.)
(Alex is playing with Cujo. He looks up at Diana and waves. Diana waves back and goes back inside)
Julia: This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady. Now - we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he takes you on the tour you gotta look your best and you gotta flirt like crazy. (Julia sees Diana is asleep.) You're hopeless Diana. Completely hopeless . . .
(Fade to undersea castle. The seahorse swims up to Danny)
Danny: Did you find them?
Seahorse: No. We haven't found any trace of them. They could be anywhere.
Danny: Well then keep looking! No one will rest until I find those creeps that took my pizza!
Seahorse: You do know that Diana, Julia, and Zachary are missing too right?
Danny: You know the rules, pizza first!
Seahorse: (sighs) Yes sire.
(Morning at castle. Diana and Alex leave for their tour. Diana is amazed by everything. They pass a river.)\
Zachary: Hey Julia, did he kiss her yet?
Julia: Nope.
(Diana and Alex pass a dance club. Diana motions for Alex to stop.)
Alex: Are you sure? I really don't dance.
Diana: (Pulls Alex inside)
Anthony: Hey Julia, did they kiss yet?
Julia: No! Now quit asking!
(The sun is setting and Alex and Diana are in a small boat of a lagoon.)
Zachary: What's taking him so long? Why hasn't he kissed Diana yet?
Julia: Because he's a dork that's why. He's probably never kissed a girl at all.
Zachary: Ha! Dork!
Anthony: There's only one day left. We're running out of time! Okay, now's the time to put stage two of operation G.T.P.G.F.L.D. into action!
Julia: And what would that be?
Anthony: A little romantic music that's what.
Zachary: Oh! That'll work!
Julia: You guys can do what you want. I don't even know why I'm helping Diana in the first place. I hate her guts.
Zachary: Just think Julia. If Diana is a human forever then you won't have to see or deal with her ever again.
Julia: Really? Okay, step aside amateurs. If they want romantic music I'll give it to 'em! Percussion! (nothing happens) I said percussion! (still nothing) Okay. Um, guitar!
(A fish pops out of the water playing a guitar)
Julia: That's more like it! Now for the words! And you can't do anything about it Diana!
Diana: (overhears Julia and sticks her tongue out at her)
Julia: (singing) There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
Alex: Did that mutant crab just talk to me?
Diana: (shakes her head while giggling)
Julia: Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
(Alex leans in to kiss Diana put then backs away)
Julia: (starts laughing) Oh wow! He is a dork!
(singing) Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl.
(speaking) Wait. He's gonna miss the girl. No! Why do I always get bad luck?!
Alex: You know what's really weird? I've spent the past two days with you and I still don't know your name. So I'm gonna try to guess okay?
Diana: (nods)
Alex: Okay, how about uh…Mildred?
Diana: (sticks her tongue out)
Alex: Okay then. Uh, Ashley? Tiffany?
Julia: Her name is Diana you idiot! Say Diana! Say it!
Alex: Shut up you mutant crab!
Julia: Oh you did not just- (Anthony grabs her)
Anthony: Keep it cool!
Julia: Oh I'm done with cool!
Alex: Uh, Cassidy?
Diana: (shakes her head)
Alex: Oh this'll take forever!
Diana: (mouthing "Diana" over and over)
Alex: What?
Diana: (mouths "D-I-A-N-A")
Alex: Brianna?
Diana: (shakes her head violently)
Alex: Uh…what ends in 'Anna'? Uh…Diana?
Diana: (nods her head)
Alex: Really? I got it? Awesome! But I was hoping your name was Cassidy.
Diana: (glares at him)
Alex: But Diana's nice too!
Julia: (singing) Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to kiss the girl
You've got to kiss the girl
You wanna kiss the girl
You've gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl
(Alex and Diana lean in to kiss each other put the boat tips over)
Diana: (Screaming but no sound is heard. She grabs onto Alex)
Alex: Don't worry it's shallow. You'll be okay. You're okay. (brushes a piece of Diana's hair away from her face and smiles at her. He carries Diana out of the lagoon)
Diana: (thinking) Crap! I was so close! And now I'm wet! (looks up at Alex still thinking) Oh but he's just so cute! He's carrying me! He actually cares about me!
(cut to Vlad's cavern)
Vlad: Nice work, boys. That was a close one. Too close. The little tramp! Oh, she's better than I thought. At this rate, he'll be kissing her by sunset for sure. Well, it's time I took matters into my own hands. That little mermaid will be mine – and then I'll take down Phantom! I'll see him wriggle like a worm on a hook!
Vulture ghost 1: You're gonna turn him into a worm?
Vlad: No! I'm going to do something worse!(Laughing, he transforms into Desiree with Diana's voice.)
Vulture ghost 2: Wow boss. I never knew you were like that.
Vlad/Desiree: Shut up!
(Fade to castle at night. Alex is playing the flute badly as Mr. Lancer approaches.)
Alex: Lancer, why did you make me learn how to play this thing in the first place?
Mr. Lancer: You said you wanted to learn how to play an instrument.
Alex: I meant something that I can actually play and is cooler. Like electric guitar.
Mr. Lancer: Your parents wouldn't allow that.
Alex: Another reason to hate them. (he throws the flute out the window. It hits Vlad/Desiree)
Desiree: Ow!
Alex: Sorry! (Falls under the spell) Whoa.
Desiree: Phase one complete.