(It's morning and Anthony flies to Diana's window)
Anthony: Diana! Wake up! Wake up! We did Diana! We did it!
Julia: What are you talking about you idiot?
Anthony: What am I talking about? What am I talking about?! How could you not know?!
Julia: Just tell us moron!
Anthony: The Prince is getting married this afternoon! He just announced it! Diana you did it! Our little Diana's gonna get married. How sweet! I think I'm gonna cry! (sniffles)
(Diana's face brightens and she runs downstairs to see Mr. Lancer, Alex, and Desiree)
Diana: (thinking) WTF?!
Mr. Lancer: Ok Alex, let me get this straight. You want to marry this girl that you just met last night?
Alex: (under spell) Yes.
Mr. Lancer: But last night you just gave me a huge speech about marrying some snotty girl you just met! And now look at you! What is wrong with you?!
Alex: Me and Desiree are to be married at sunset.
Mr. Lancer: I know. You said that ten times today.
Alex: We are to be married at sunset Lancer.
Mr. Lancer: I know!
Alex: Just making sure. (walks away with Desiree. Desiree looks over at Diana and smiles evilly)
Diana: (thinking) That bitch! (runs to her room crying)
(Cut to late afternoon as wedding ship starts to leave. Diana is sitting on the pier
crying. Julia and Zachary look on.)
Julia: Diana, stop the crying already! You're not a baby! Well maybe you are.
Diana: (smacks Julia)
Julia: Oh! So this is how you treat me after all we've done for you? Huh?!
Diana: (starts crying again)
Zachary: I don't think you're helping.
Julia: Shut up! Diana, listen. He found someone else. He apparently wasn't the one for you. Do you know what you do when someone isn't right for you? You move on! So get off your pathetic ass and move on!
Diana: (still crying)
Julia: Ugh! Why do I always wind up in your little schemes? This whole thing was a waste of time! Don't you think Diana? This prince guy was a waste of our valuable time!
Diana: (shakes her head and cries again)
Julia: How can you still like him?! He dumped you! Ugh!
(cut to Anthony flying around the ship. He sees Desiree through the window)
Desiree: (singing) What a lovely little bride I'll make, my dear I'll look divine
Things are working out according to my ultimate design
Soon I'll have that little mermaid and the ocean will be mine!
Anthony: (sees Vlad in the mirror) Holy crap! It's-It's Vlad! Vlad! Wait, Vlad? Vlad's a girl? That's so wrong on so many levels! I gotta tell Diana! (flies to Diana) Diana! I gotta-(runs into a pole)
Julia: Ha! Dork!
Anthony: Shut it! This is important! Alex is gonna marry Vlad!
Julia: What?
Anthony: That girl is Vlad in disguise!
Zachary: That is so wrong on so many levels!
Anthony: I know!
Julia: Are you sure about this?
Anthony: Have I ever been wrong?
Julia: Do you really want me to answer that?
Anthony: Well I'm right this time!
(Diana dives into the water and swims toward the ship)
Julia: What is she doing? Does she really want to get herself killed?
Zachary: Apparently.
Julia: Ok, Zachary, you go with Diana. Make sure she doesn't kill herself. I'm gonna go tell King Phantom. If I don't come back Anthony, tell Zachary he still owes me that five dollars.
Anthony: Ok. Well what do I do?
Julia: Are you serious?
Anthony: Yes! I want to help! Diana is my friend too!
Julia: Fine. Anthony, make sure you and Diana don't do anything stupid.
(cut to the wedding. Cujo bites Desiree's leg)
Desiree: Ow! Alex, your dog bit me!
Alex: Haha. Yeah.
Desiree: (groans)
Priest: Ok let's get this over with. Do you Alex take Desiree as your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?
Alex: Uh…
Desiree: (glares at Alex)
Alex: Yeah.
Priest: Um ok then. And do you Desiree take-
Desiree: Yes! Just get this over with!
Priest: Um…yeah. Then by the power invested in me I-
(Diana hits Desiree over the head with a plate)
Diana: (thinking) Take that bitch!
Alex: Diana? What are you-
Diana: (grabs the shell necklace from Desiree and breaks it)
Desiree: Hey! That was $17. 50 right there! (The spell is broken and Desiree turns back into Vlad) Shit! Now look what you've done!
Diana: Shut up! Hey I can talk!
Alex: You can talk now?
Diana: I always could. But he took my voice away so I couldn't.
Alex: That basterd!
Diana: I know! And he tried to marry you so I couldn't so then I'd be his slave!
Alex: Wait, so what your saying is that I was about to marry some cross-dressing octopus guy?
Diana: Pretty much.
Alex: Wow. That's so messed up!
Vlad: No! YOU'RE messed up! All of ya'll are messed up!
Diana: Shut up you slimy freak! I won! I got my man you got nothing! Ha! I rock!
Alex: Yes you do.
Diana: (smiles)
Vlad: But you forgot something very important missy.
Diana: Oh really? And what might that be? (sees the sun setting) Oh. (turns back into a mermaid) Well this sucks.
Alex: You're a-a-
Diana: Yup.
Alex: So it wasn't just my imagination? I was right? YES! In your face Lancer!
Vlad: You won't be celebrating for long boy! (grabs Diana and jumps off the ship) See ya!
Diana: Let me go you creep!
Vlad: Shut up you good for nothing-
Danny: Well, well, well. Vlad Plasmius. It's been awhile.
Vlad: Ah, Danny Phantom. How have you been doing in my absence?
Danny: Better actually. Now let Diana go!
Vlad: Sorry, can't.
Danny: Why?
Vlad: She signed this contract. (takes out the contract) See?
Danny: (looks at it) Diana you idiot! I warned you about not reading the fine print!
Diana: But I hate the fine print! It's just so small and unnoticeable I don't even bother looking at it!
Danny: That's what they WANT you to do!
(cut to Alex rowing a little boat)
Mr. Lancer: Alex, you're not really going to try to get that girl back are you?
Alex: Lancer, she's the prettiest thing I've ever seen plus she not only listens to me she gets me. She actually gets me! What do you think I'm gonna do?!
Mr. Lancer: Ugh, you and your teenage hormones.
Alex: That's right!
(cut to Vlad and Danny)
Danny: Let Diana go Vlad! She's not gonna be your slave!
Vlad: Well I could trade Diana for something else or someone if you know what I mean.
Danny: No I don't and I'm afraid to ask.
Vlad: No not like that!
Danny: Fine Vlad, I'll be your slave.
Vlad: Yes!
Diana and Julia: What?
Danny: Yeah.
Vlad: Now just sign here and it's done.
Diana: Dad don't! I forbid you!
Danny: Shut up! I can do what I want!
Julia: And you wonder were she gets it from.
(Danny signs the contract and handcuffs appear on his wrists)
Danny: Well that was unexpected.
Vlad: (takes Danny's crown and triton) Yes! It's mine! It's all mine!
Diana: You selfish basterd!
Vlad: Shut up you little brat! I'm the king of the sea now and-Ah! (gets hit by a shot gun Alex fired at him)
Diana: Alex! You came back for me!
Vlad: Die! Die! DIE! (fires triton at Alex)
Alex: (grabs the Vulture ghosts and makes Vlad hit them instead of him)
Vlad: Oh…well that was unfortunate.
Diana: (grabs Alex's hand) Come on Hotty McSweetykins! (swims to the surface)
Alex: Hotty McSweetykins?
(Vlad grows a hundred feet tall)
Diana: Oh my gawd!
Vlad: I know! Isn't this amazing? I just saw this button on here that said 'grow' and now look at me! Being the king of the sea rocks!
Diana: You're not king of the sea! You're just a selfish tentacle guy who lives with his mom!
Vlad: What did you say to me?! (Starts a huge storm)
Alex: Why to go Diana.
Diana: Hey! I don't need this right now!
Vlad: (points triton at them) DIE!
Alex: Oh shit!
Vlad: (creates a whirlpool and knocks Diana into it)
Diana: Alex! Do something!
Alex: What do I do?
Diana: I don't know! Just do something!
(Alex swims over to a ship and climbs aboard. The sailors on the ship see him)
Alex: Uh hi. I'm taking over the ship okay?
Sailor: Uh…ok…
Alex: Thanks. (runs over to the wheel) It's days like these when I wish I paid attention to Mr. Lancer's boat driving speeches.
Vlad: So long sweety! (points the triton at Diana. Vlad sees Alex coming driving the ship. Alex tries to run into Vlad but misses)
Alex: Shit!
Vlad: Ha! You can't stop me you twerp!
Alex: (takes out a machine gun and fires at Vlad)
Vlad: …ow…(falls over and dies. The crown and triton falls in the water and lands next to Danny)
Danny: Hey! My stuff! (tries to pick then up but he is still handcuffed) Um…help?
(Fade to morning. Alex is standing on the beach looking at Diana who is sitting on a rock. They wave to each other. Alex beckons to Diana to come over and winks at her. Diana obeys and swims over)
Alex: (hugs her) Are you ok?
Diana: I'm fine.
Alex: Wow, it's hard to believe that what just happened was real.
Diana: For you maybe. That was pretty normal for me.
Alex: I can imagine. So you're really a mermaid?
Diana: Yup.
Alex: Well I don't care. I'm gonna tell Lancer to have us married as soon as possible.
Diana: We're 14. Isn't that illegal?
Alex: Diana this is Disney. Nothing is illegal.
Diana: But you have legs and I don't. This'll never work.
Julia: That's what I've been saying the whole time!
Diana: Shut up Julia! You aren't helping!
Danny: Maybe Julia isn't but maybe I can.
Diana: Whatcha talkin 'bout?
Danny: I could make you human forever…if you want…
Diana: Really? But…but I'd miss everybody too much.
Julia: Even me?
Diana: Let me rephrase that. I'd miss everybody but Julia.
Julia: (glares at Diana)
Alex: Well I did come up with something but it's stupid.
Diana: What?
(cut to Alex and Diana kissing on a ship on their wedding day)
Kelly: It's so beautiful! I promised myself I wouldn't cry! (sniffles)
Michael: Oh get a hold of yourself!
Diana: Ok Daddy, hit us!
Danny: (shoots Diana and Alex with his triton and turns them into merpeople)
Alex: Awesome!
Diana: I told you! (They dive off the ship and land in the water)
Alex: Honeymoon in the ocean?
Diana: Yup! Don't you love it?
Alex: It's better than I could have ever imagined. So where are we going?
Diana: Oh, I know this amazing hotel with this cute little lunch café. And then there's this amusement park with this petting zoo that we can go to. They have the cutest baby whales ever!
The End