She was quickly ushered into the boss's office by some peppy and highly caffeinated assistants. It was a bit unusual for the head honcho to interview someone for an entry level position, but Gracie only nodded as though this was exactly what she had expected.
What she had NOT expected was to have another awkward silence perched on a chair staring at the back of another swivelly office chair. She sensed her hopefully-future employer had a bit of a flair for the dramatic.
Abruptly, he turned to face her. He was a normal looking man, with short dark hair obscured, for some reason, by a du-rag, and clutching in his hand a #1 Boss mug that she had a sneaking suspicion, since she was ever so clever, that he had bought for himself.
"SO... Misssss LaFaveur..." he said promptly, waving the mug around as though hoping she would notice it. He coughed. "Quite the impressive resume you have here" a copy was sitting on his desk. In fact it was pretty much the only thing on his desk besides an assortment of pens and an overflowing inbox. And a computer, quite obviously. Don't make me point out every little thing.
"it says here you've worked as an au pair before... some parts in plays, to rave reviews... ah, and there's a very lovely drawing of a butt, here"
"Oh yes" she replied "I included the drawing, Mr. Scott, because I think it is definitely one of my strengths. Datass data assimilation is a very important and fast growing field."
"Too true. And do call me Michael... I'm not like other bosses... I'm a cool boss. But I notice there is nothing on here about secretarial experience"
"Ah yes, well.. eh hem hem." it was fake it till you make it time. Time to turn on the infamous LaFaveur charm. Go time. Time to go. Go ham. "I know it seems a bit spare, but I'm a real go-getter, a fast learner, and I'm available to start right now"
He leaned back in his chair, regarding her over the edge of his mug. "I'll be honest with you, Miss LaFaveur. That's very important. Some might say we've been finding this position hard to fill. Some might say the position is... cursed. SOME may even go so far as to say-"
but Gracie never got to find out what that was, because in his classic Michael Scott way, he'd put his foot in his mouth, this time literally.
She waited in polite silence for him to extract it, coughing, at one point disappearing behind his desk to wheeze in an unflattering way. When he straightened up, the du-rag had fallen off. She tactfully ignored his hat hair as well.
"I'll be honest, Graciela. Can I call you Graciela? Your resume is exactly what we're looking for. We need someone used to dealing with unruly children. Someone who is used to drama and divas. Someone who is used to working with asses... one way or the other."
"I'm your man!" she replied with more pep than three of the bustling assistants taped together. "Well. Woman. Lady. Professional?"
"Hey! that's what I wanted to hear. Can you start right now?" He leaned across his desk expectantly.
"Whaaaaaaa?" Gracie gasped
"by the way, this is our offer of salary" he slid a slip of paper with so many zeros across the table.
"HUAAAAAAAAAAAA" She gasped even more. The air in the room was becoming a bit thin.