Chapter 13: Pancake Picnics

Clary POV

I forgot just how boring the hospital can be.

Sure, After forcing Jace to go to school, it got pretty boring being alone for the first couple of hours. Especially when the first round of chemo was issued to me, along with it came nausea, sleepiness, and some pain. Here I am now, just flipping through random channels being degraded to watching Jeopardy reruns. Instead of succumbing myself to another 30 minutes of this show I decide to clean myself up.

God bless my mother for bringing me some clothes so I don't have to wear this gown around the hospital. I sneak in and sneak out of the shower without having any of the nurses noticing to take an incredibly fast shower and changing into a pair of black leggings and a loose white tee shirt. I may not feel 100% but I'm definitely not going to lie in bed all day.

I guess I wasn't as sneaky as I thought I was. When I come back in Dr. Lightwood is there looking at the necklace I left on one of the side tables. He looks up at me.

"Ah, there you are Clary. The question is why aren't you resting?" He asks me raising an eyebrow.

" I'm bored." I say honestly "I have nothing to do in here. Seriously though, If I have to watch one more rerun of Jeopardy, I might die." I whine.

There's a small smile on his face after I finish my speech.

"Come here" He says beckoning me over with his hand. " If you're going to walk around, you need to stay connected to your medicine until the IV runs out." He says replacing the IV back into my wrist.

I look at him in surprise "Really?" I say. I barely left my room the last time I was here aside from going home and the rare visit with other kids.

He laughs, "Really. Follow me." He walks out the door with me and my IV in tow.

As we walk my room, there's a nurse who looks as if she was about to enter the room.

"Um… Mr., No… Dr. Lightwood, Clary isn't allowed yet out of her roo-" She starts sounding slightly frazzled to see her boss.

" It's fine Imogen, she has my permission." Dr. Lightwood says to her softly.

She nods at him and goes back to looking at her clipboard while walking away.

As we walk down the hallway, I start to remember which part of the hospital I'm in, obviously the cancer ward. I remember seeing this place through younger eyes three years ago for the first time; how scared I was until I met Dr. Lightwood when he explained everything.

"So," He says as we walk. "You and Jace huh?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say thoughtfully at the sound of his name "Is that a bad thing?" I ask suddenly.

"Quite the opposite." He says, " He's seemed… different ever since you two got to know each other better. Happier."

I don't say anything, not knowing what to say. I think the conversation is over until he begins to talk again.

"Ever since we adopted him. We, Maryse and I, felt like there was nothing we could do to get him to open up to us. Sure, he loosened up after a few months, but there were still those walls he had up that for years we could never bring down. Then, after Max died." He says for a second, swallowing hard "He brought those walls up even more, he'd avoid any serious conversation we would want to have with him, he was all sarcasm and wit. That is, until you came along." He says, looking down at me giving me a half smile.

"From the first day your brother introduced Jace to you, he actually wanted to talk. To me, to Maryse. He wanted to know more about you in any way he could, we would talk about Max, which was more than I could ever wish for, to have a son who wasn't afraid to have a conversation with his dad, even if I wasn't his real one." He finishes right as we reach a door.

"You've changed him Clary. I can't thank you enough for that." He says, smiling down at me.

I blush "I guess we're even then, I mean you've saved my life more than once. Literally."

He laughs at that and opens the door. "Go wild." He says

I look into the room and gasp as I walk in. A whole room, dedicated to art. On one wall there's every color of paint your could possibly think of, and some you probably couldn't. Another wall is dedicated to crayons, colored pencils, pastels, art pencils, clay and so much more. There are tables littered around the room stuffed with canvases, different types of paper, and sculpting tools. I walk into the room, still taking it all in. I look back at Dr. Lightwood who smiles at my awed expression.

"Have fun." He says, before he looks down at his buzzing pager and walks out the door.

I grab box of Prisma Colored pencils from the wall along with some graphite pencils and an eraser. I take a seat at one of the tables and start to draw.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

Jace POV

This is worse than I thought it would be.

After an agonizing six periods without knowing how Clary's doing all I want to do is punch something.

Just one more period. I can tell Jon is thinking the same thing from the look on his face. Poor guy, he has to go through this a second time with his little sister. I don't know How I would respond if that happened to Iz. I mean sure, she can be extremely annoying at times, but I know I can't go through losing another sibling.

A tap on my shoulder breaks me from my thoughts; I look behind me to see it was Jon. Since we're watching a video on music theory today, the teacher is basically asleep at his desk. I turn around and see Jon has his phone in his hand. Why didn't I think of that?

" Clary says hi." He says quietly.

I take his phone from his hand and begin to read the texts

(Jon/ Clary)

Hey there Clare Bear. How are ya feeling?

Hey! Wait shouldn't you be in school?

Who says I'm not? Besides, that's not important, how are you?

… Fine I guess. I'm tired from the chemo and it makes everything hurt for a while, but other that that just dandy!

You know I can technically skip school if you need me for ANYTHING.

Well you know what I could use?

What?

Taki's.

Haha. Very funny. Why don't you ask your boyfriend?

Wait? He's in your class?

Yup.

Well tell him I say, Hi! I love you3 3 and don't forget to say the hearts (:

Yeah sure…

"Jooooon." I whisper behind me, "You forgot to say the hearts." I smirk.

He slaps the back of my head, hard might I add, and takes his phone from me and starts to text Clary again.

It's nice to know that she's doing ok but that doesn't make me want to see her less. These next to classes can't go by fast enough…

As we finally finish off my last period, football, I can't get to the locker room fast enough. I rush to clean up and get ready and then run to my car before the final bell even rings. I guess since I'm technically early I can make a quick pit stop…

When I walk into the hospital, I choose to hide the bag inside of my backpack. I walk down the hallways toward Clary's room and when I walk in there's nobody there.

Wait…what?

"She's in the art room." I hear Robert say from behind me, making me jump out of my skin.

"Jesus." I whisper half to myself, turning around to see my dad.

"Follow me." He says, walking away, with me following.

We go through the halls in silence until he stops at a door. I smile a little at him with anticipation, he nods and I open the door to see a room filled to the brim with art supplies, sitting at a table I see Clary, totally oblivious to everything happening around her with her headphones in her ears and an IV connected to her.

"I guess now we're even." I hear Robert say, probably to himself. I look back at him with an eyebrow raised. He just gives me a half smile and closes the door as he walks out.

I quietly go over to Clary from behind. I see she's drawing a picture that Izzy had taken of us from her phone. We were at Taki's; Clay and I were sharing a smoothie when we bumped heads. When Izzy took the picture we were both smiling at each other while drinking the smoothie from two straws.

Her drawing looks almost exactly like the picture, if not better. And I know nothing about drawing. I decide to break my silence by wrapping my arms around her waist which seems to startles her a little. I pick her up, sitting down on the stool she was sitting on, then putting her on my lap.

"Hey beautiful." I say to her, which causes her pale cheeks to turn pink. She leans into me giving me a kiss on the lips that leaves me wanting more but I decide not to push.

"Hey." She says, taking out her ear buds, I hear the song Maps by Maroon 5 playing in them. "How was school?" she asks me smiling.

"Nothing special." I say playing with her hair. "Everybody's heard about what happened by now." I say, looking at her face closely as I say those words.

She doesn't say anything at first, just sighs and leans into my chest, she looks tired. I rub her back soothingly as we sit there.

"Well you know what they say." I say finally.

"What?" she asks looking at me.

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

She smiles at this with an amused look on her face.

"What?" I say

"Where did you get that from?" She asks me

"How dare you question the poetic superiority I have against you." I scoff playfully.

She raises an eyebrow at looking just as playful.

"Okay I got it from Izzy." I give in.

She lets out a giggle that can't help but make you happy. "That's what I thought." She says, resting her head back down on my chest.

"I have something for you." I whisper.

"Really?" She asks, not bothering to look up at me.

"Come on." I say getting off of the stool with her. She takes her drawing and we walk hand in hand back to her room.

When we get to her room she takes her IV from out of her wrist. I lift her onto her bed and then go to retrieve the food from my backpack. When she see's the Taki's bag her eyes light up a little more and she offers a small smile.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" She says, making my heart melt a little. She pulls me over to give me another long kiss. Maybe I should bring her food more often…

I unpack the bag that is filled with her favorite, coconut pancakes. We both sit on the bed cross-legged as we stuff our faces with pancakes and talk. Not about cancer, or her dad; just random things.

I think it makes us both feel we're under more normal circumstances at that moment. Which is all I could ever wish for.

Once we finish eating, laughing and having a good time together, we're sucked back into the real world. A nurse comes in to give Clary her next smaller round of chemo to prep her for her upcoming stem cell transplant. We both watch as the nurse fills the IV bag with medicine. Clary gives me a worried look before I grab her hand.

"Ready, honey?" The nurse asks. She doesn't say anything, just keeps her eyes closed tight and nods.

The nurse sanitizes an area on her forearm and the plunges the needle into her skin. She lets out a small moan that makes my heart break. She grabs my hand tighter as the nurse wraps her arm so the needle doesn't fall out.

"All done." She says sympathetically.

Clary's eyes are still closed but I notice a single tear run down her cheek that I wipe away.

"Does it hurt?" I ask her worried, rubbing small circles into her hand.

She doesn't say anything, just breathes in through her nose and out her mouth.

"It will for a second." The nurse answers for me. " A strong substance is entering her body. At first it'll feel like two sides fighting in her bloodstream but after a couple of minutes it'll go away. I know Clary though, from the last time she was here, and she's a fighter." The lady says, reassuring me before beginning to walk out.

She was right, after a second Clary opens her eyes and she looks even more exhausted than before. She lays down on my chest looking more comfortable. I think she's sleeping until she says with her eyes closed,

"Thank you."

"For what?" I ask, confused.

"You didn't have to do this." She starts, "You didn't have to come visit me here and sleep over here with me and bring food. You didn't have to like me… but yet, you do. And I can't understand why you chose me. You could break up with me and choose any girl in the world you want. Don't get me wrong, I want you; but I don't know why I deserve you."

"Clary, now that I have you, I'm not letting you go. I chose you and I was lucky enough that you chose me. Whenever I'm around you I can't help but smile and be happy. I don't even understand what I feel, I'm whole when I'm around you, you're a piece of me I simply can't live without, Clary I love you so much. You didn't have to forgive me for all those times I was a douche to you, You didn't have to stay with me at Max's remembrance, You didn't have to sing tat beautiful song in honor of him. If anything I don't deserve you." I say honestly.

Clary looks at me through sleepy eyes. God she's beautiful.

" I don't know what to say to that." She says.

"Don't say anything." I say, "Just sleep, okay?" I whisper.

She nods and lays her head back down, closing her eyes.

A couple of minutes later, I can tell Clary's asleep by the way her breathing has evened out. She looks so peaceful and innocent. The room is so calm and serene at the moment that I feel myself falling asleep.

Right before my eyes close totally the door literally slams open startling Clary out of her sleep, her arm jerks in the process pulling on the needle embedded in her skin, she give a small whimper from the pain it causes.

" I told you she was asleep." I hear Maia say from the door.

"Yeah, well not much I could've done with my hands this full." Jordan says next to her at the door.

Maia notices Clary waking up and goes to her on the side of the bed. Jordan walks into the room rolling his eyes, his hands are full of stuffed animals, chocolate boxes, flowers, balloons and some other things I can't make out. He walks over to the hospital and plops it all on there sighing when his arms are free.

"Jordan, You didn't have to do all this, thank you!" She says, clearly flattered, but still sounding pretty tired.

"It wasn't just me." He started " It was the football team, some of your art class friends and…" He thinks, counting off the people on his fingers, "Oh yeah! Mr. Blackthorn."

Maia and Jordan find two seats and pull them over to the bed we're sitting on to talk.

"How are you feeling Clary?" Maia asks her trying not to sound worried.

"Fine, I guess." She smiles tiredly

As Jordan opens his mouth to say something the door opens again. Izzy and Jon are they're looking at everyone already in the room. When Izzy catches sight of Clary, she immediately runs over to hug her, which worries me a little. As Izzy goes to hug Clary fiercely she almost falls onto the bed. I hear her whimper softly, hugging Izzy back softly.

"Iz, I think that's enough." I say, prying her off of Clary who gives me a grateful look.

She doesn't seem to understand why I had to end their hug, so she just pouts and sits in a chair.

Jon goes over to ruffle Clary's hair and then sits down in a chair.

"So, lets go through all this stuff." Jordan says, putting the heap of stuff in the middle of our circle as we begin to sort and talk.

Clary POV

I didn't know so many people cared about me until I looked through all of the little things people gave to me. Halfway through sorting the chemo medicine really kicked in so I just watched as everyone sorted while leaning on Jace.

By the end I had obtained 6 stuffed teddy bears, 3 bouquets of flowers, 6 boxes of chocolate covered strawberries (that I let everyone take a box home), a boatload of get well cards and a football that was signed by everyone on the team. There were also a couple of balloons that randomly decided to pop but hey… it's the thought that counts.

As everyone's talking and having a good time, which I try my best to take part in, there's a knock on the door.

We all look at Jordan as if asking if he was expecting anyone else. He shrugs and shakes his head no.

The door opens slowly, at first I don't recognize who it is until the man in scrubs speaks.

" Did someone call for a DOCTOR!" I recognize Magnus's flamboyant voice that second.

"Wait. You're a doctor?" Jace asks.

"Well… no, I'm a nurse but that opening just seemed more fitting." Magnus explains.

"Hey guys!" Alec says at that moment, popping his head into the doorframe.

"ALEC" we all say at the same time. He may be the Lightwood that I've least gotten to know but I still miss him.

"What are you doing here?" Izzy asks going up to hug her brother.

" We get a week off at school because of repairs so I thought why not see you guys. When I heard about Clary I couldn't not see her so here I am!" He says.

"How are you feeling Clary?" Alec asks me

Before I can say anything Magnus interrupts making me smile.

"Oooh! I've got this!" He says walking over to my bed.

"Move blondie." He says pushing Jace off of the bed, which makes Izzy laugh.

He starts looking over me saying gibberish that I always hear the nurses saying.

"Lets see. Heart 78 bpm, blood pressure 94 mmHg, respirations 12 breaths per minute…"

I look over at Alec who just shrugs at me, then we all go back to listening to Magnus.

"Lets see your Chemo seems to be entering your blood stream pretty- wait a second." He says holding up my hand gently and then taking a closer look. "Clary have you been messing with this tube?" He asks me in total seriousness.

"No… Why?" I ask sleepily.

"It's infected." He whispers half to himself before he runs out of the room and yells for another nurse.

I don't fully grasp the words he told me until he comes back.

"Wait… What!" I ask starting to hyperventilate.

He starts to hastily unwrap the dressing around my wrist.

"Clary calm down. Breathe." He tells me calmly.

I hear Jon and Jace run over next to Magnus who's too focused to notice.

"What are you doing Magnus?" Jon asks, sounding slightly hostile "That's her chemo."

"Okay first of all, her tube's infected. Look." Magnus says, irritated. We all look down at my forearm that has turned a slight purple hue that makes me feel lightheaded. "Second, you better move if you want me to get this out as quickly as I can."

I'm startled when he says he has to take it out. It hurts like hell to put it in I can't imagine what it feels like to take out an infected one. I look over at Jace desperately who looks torn on whether to leave my side or not, as much as I ant him to hold my hand I know that Magnus won't be able to get it out with him there. Jace moves hesitantly to the other side of the room with everyone else. A nurse rushes in asking what's wrong, Magnus fills her in and they get to work over my forearm.

I feel myself thrashing and sobbing as they try to wiggle out the tube as gently as they can. When it's almost out they stop for a second.

"Clary, We're going to have to just yank it out now, ok? We'll try to do this as quick as we can." Magnus says to me.

I can't say anything over the pain and my uncontrollable sobs. I hear Jon rush over who is quickly pulled back by a defeated Jace, not before I see his despaired face. I thrash as hard as I can, not even knowing why, just knowing I don't want to feel that kind of pain. The nurse who's name I don't know gets onto the bed with me to hold me down. There isn't much I can do then but cry from the immense pain.

"Ready Clary? One, two, three!" He says as he pulls out the tube.

I hear myself let out a shriek from the pain and then curl into a ball of pain. I don't think anything could ever compare to how much that physically hurt. I'm still crying when I feel Jon pick me up and put me on his lap, whispering things into my hair.

When the other nurse comes back in, she's holding another vial of medicine. When She tries to stick the needle in my arm I'm too exhausted to try to jerk away. Jon, though, won't have it. He turns me in his arms so she can't touch me with the needle.

"No, I don't want that to happen to my sister again." He says to them defiantly

"It's morphine." Magnus says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She'll be in pain all night without it, and we need to get a new IV into her."

Jon looks down at my tear soaked face and then hesitantly turns me so my arm is showing. I feel the pinch of the needle go into my skin and then nothing. I don't notice the needle is out of my arm until I see the nurse in front of me holding it. Suddenly my eyes are way to keep open, the stress of this whole day starts to melt away as I feel a welcome darkness starting to suck me in.

The last thing I see before I go unconscious is Magnus's hands spurting out blue flames, but I know I'm hallucinating by then.

AN: Sorry that took so long to post! I've been busy these past couple of days but I hope you guys like this chapter! Comment what you think! I love to hear your opinions because you guys are amazing!

R & R

XOXO

Erin