Chapter 16: The Land of Terrible Things
CLARY POV
It would be impossible to describe the hell I endured over the next two weeks.
If chemotherapy was enough already, I had no contacts at all to anyone other than the doctors and Valentine. There are countless days where Valentine will spend all day torturing me with his words, with anything punch or slap he can secretly inflict on me.
But I've now know there are worse things than that.
Today is about the same. I wake up feeling sore from the medicine and numb from his words. I look around to find I'm finally alone… at least for a second. I slowly walk over to the bathroom to see the damage.
I close the door behind me and look in the mirror. I see the same pathetic that I've seen these past 14 days. Pale, worn out, ugly. I lift up my shirt to see a huge dark purple bruise on my side.
I don't cry as much anymore, or at least I try hard not to. I go through every day trying to block out the hurtful words my own father will yell at me. I do whatever it takes to not think about Jace or Jon or anyone else I care about. My life now consists of sleeping through chemo 8 hours a day and then sleeping some more and sitting in bed thinking about how much longer until the stupid disease kills me.
As I walk out of the bathroom wearing a clean pair of leggings and a sweatshirt I see Valentine waiting for me.
I take a deep, shaky breath and wait for him to bombard me. After a second though, nothing happens. He has an annoyed, almost angry look on his face. That's when I notice the doctor staring back and forth at us questioningly. He shrugs and begins to speak.
"Clary I have some good news for you." Dr. Rockwell, my new doctor says excitedly. "You're finished with chemo until further notice. Which will mean we wont see you back here until your stem cell transplant."
I raise my eyebrows at the last part. Not sure if I should feel happy or scared.
"You mean I'm going home?" I ask quietly.
"Yes. With me." Valentine chimes in maliciously.
I feel my heart drop. I'd rather dump meat juice all over me and dive into shark infested waters than spend a night with him.
"That's right!" The doctor says cheerfully, not registering the awkward tension between us " So as of Monday, you'll be back into your classes at," He looks at his clipboard to see the school name "Alicante High. Your familiar with Simon Lewis right?" He asks me
I give a short nod.
" He'll be there to get you back into the swing of things at school. We've transferred him to your exact schedule since you two have known each other for so long, he was the obvious choice to watch over you at school."
I try not to give too much of a reaction to the news. Inside though, I have a storm of emotions ranging from happiness to sadness to furious to anxiousness.
I'll see Jace again. But that doesn't mean Valentine isn't going to keep a tight leash on me.
I feel like there's a new open gash on my heart. It'll be hard to be in the same vicinity as everyone I love and not be able to get close to them.
"When's the transplant?" I ask in a monotone voice, hiding how scared I am.
The doctor looks at his clipboard for a second "It is… in a little less than a month." He says vaguely.
"Thank you doctor." Valentine butts in, "We'll just be on our way now." He says grabbing my arm as we walk out the door.
When we reach his car he speeds off before I'm even able to get my seatbelt on.
"Fucking police are on my case." He says half to himself. " I was sure taking you would ease them off but no. Now I have to take care of your useless ass."
His hands are tight around the steering wheel as he drives. A couple of minutes later a scary smile appears on his face.
"That's okay though. We can have more fun at my house though. Right you little slut? This time though, there's no one there for you to yell to."
I shiver at what he says. Mostly because he's right.
The rest of the car ride is mostly silent aside from the random hurtful comment every now and then.
I guess I fall asleep at some point. I'm woken when I feel myself falling until I'm snapped back up from my seatbelt bringing a slice of pain to my bruised side. Valentine is there holding my car door open which I must've been leaning on.
"Get out we're here." He says.
I slowly take off my seatbelt and get out of the car. Valentine opens the trunk of his car and chucks my heavy duffel bag at me, letting out a laugh when I fall on my butt from the sudden toss.
He doesn't wait for me to get up when he starts walking toward the front door. The house looks normal enough from the outside. When we walk in though, I suffocated by the scent of alcohol and just plain nastiness. The living room has old stains of god knows what on the carpet and every inch of the room is littered with empty bottles, clothes ( some women's clothing), and trash.
"I expect this house spotless when I get home." He says shortly, taking a beer from a coffee table and draining it. He then tosses it at me, causing it to break and leave a couple of scratches on the hand I was trying to catch it with.
"If this place isn't spotless. There will be consequences." He says in a hostile voice.
Before walking out of the door.
When I hear the rumble of his car exit the driveway I start to look around. The kitchen is about the same with dishes piled sky high in the sink and the smell of expired food coming from the fridge.
Not knowing how long he'll be out, I get starting cleaning. I mean look at the bright side...
Oh yeah, there isn't one.
JACE POV
"Jace! It's time for dinner!" I hear Isabelle yell from probably the staircase.
"Not hungry!" I yell back.
"What? Ugh! I'm just gonna come up there!" she mumbles as the comes up the stairs to my room.
"Jesus put on a shirt!" She says as she comes into my room. I'm only wearing a pair of boxers and sweatpants since I just took a shower.
I don't say anything, just blast my music louder through my ear buds and pretend that she's not there.
This has been most of my days these past two weeks. The first 4 days I didn't even go to school let alone leave my room. It took me 2 days to contact all the hospitals in New York plus some in Pennsylvania, you know, just in case. Nothing I can do though can get my mind off of Clary, especially with that creep taking care of her.
Jon's a total wreck. I don't think I've ever seen my best friend like that. When I was finally forced to go to school, Jon would sit out practices for taking out his anger way too much on the field. Lunch time is always incredibly awkward without Clary, nobody even tries to make conversation aside from school work. Yeah, it's pretty bad.
I really miss her though. Valentine probably took her phone away I realized after leaving 30 missed calls and around 100 texts. We all worry about her but I feel as if a part of me is missing, I can't breath fully until I know she's okay and with me.
"Jace we'll find her. She'll be fine" Isabelle says sitting on my bed next to me.
"You don't know that. For all we know she could be dead in a ditch somewhere. " I say back. I see Izzy cringe a little at my words but I'm too distant to acknowledge.
"By the angel Jace! Don't say that." She pushes me. "What do you think Clary would say about you right now?" She asks me.
"How sexy I am." I say simply, not thinking.
"No, that's what you think about yourself. She'd probably tell you something like 'get off of your lazy ass and do something. Bake a pie, draw a picture, sing a song, anything you asshat!'" She says doing her best Clary voice.
I smile a bit at her attempt to cheer me up.
"Yeah I guess that is what she would say." I say looking down at my hands.
We sit there quietly for a second before she gets up to leave.
"Dinner's ready when you want it." She says at threshold of my door before she closes it.
Izzy's right though. Clary wouldn't want me to just mope around everywhere, she'd want me to not worry about her, which is impossible. But I'll try my best I guess.
I put on a pair of jeans and a shirt, grab my guitar and run down the stairs taking them two at a time.
When I pass the kitchen I see Izzy sitting there with mom eating Chinese food. I run up to the table to steal a takeout box and a fork because let's face it, I'm a 17 year old boy, I'm always hungry.
"I'll see you guys later." I say through a mouthful of noodles.
"Where are you going?" Izzy asks, seeming happy that I'm getting out of the house.
"Out." I say vaguely before walking out of the kitchen to the front door.
I get into my car and start to drive.
When I reach my father's hospital I park and go to the cancer ward to sign in. It feels so familiar coming here. I walk through the hallways and this time turn down a different hallway opposite of Clary's old room toward the playroom for the child patients. I have second thoughts of going in there, I remember always playing with Max here when he was admitted.
I finally enter the room looking kind of awkward since I'm 17 and around 5 feet taller than almost everyone in the room aside from the nurses.
Some of the little kids I recognize from Clary playing with them the first time she was admitted.
"JACE!" I hear a little voice yell. A little 8 year old named Lily with brain cancer.
Other little kids run toward me, probably recognize me from visits with Clary.
"Where's Clary?" One of them ask, bringing a twinge of pain to my heart.
"I don't know." I say simply. They all seem somewhat disappointed "But hey I'm here for you guys." I finish smiling at them, which seems to lift their sad moods immediately.
I sit down on a stool that's way too short for me but I make it work. I take out my guitar and play a few practice cords that seems to intrigue everyone in the room.
This one's for you Clary…
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
When I finish the song I know the nurses listening to it were more moved than the little kids who have probably never heard of the Beatles, but they still liked it.
"You're really good." I hear Lily say, matching the astonished looks of all the little kids.
"Play another!" another kid says excitedly, there are cheers of agreement that come from all the children.
"Any requests?" I ask smiling.
" High School Musical!"
"Teen Beach Movie!"
" Beyoncé!"
I look over at the kid who asks for Beyoncé and chuckle a little.
"How about more Beatles?" I say
there's a chorus of 'Yeah's. As I start to play the chords to Blackbird I look to the back of the room to see my Robert watching from the back with the nurses. I try to keep the surprise off of my face but… when did he get here? He catches my glance then smiles and gives me short nod. I give him a half smile back and continue to play.
It may not take away the pain of not having Clary with me, but somehow, I feel closer than I have in these two weeks to wherever she is.
CLARY POV
After cleaning up the living room I'm exhausted and famished. I don't dare to look in the refrigerator, instead I just sit on the couch that I hadn't even known was there until I had cleaned up all of the empty bottles and cans. Aside from the stains I had done a relatively good job.
As soon as I sit on the couch In feel my eyes beginning to drift closed…
I don't know how long I'm asleep for, but the feeling of something being poured onto me wakes me up. I open my eyes to see Valentine, clearly drunk, emptying the contents of his beer can onto me before throwing the can at me.
"You failed Clare Bear." He says tauntingly before chucking me off of the couch and sitting on it himself.
He must be too drunk to torture me today, all he does is step on my leg hard so I can't move while he talks.
"Don't let me catch you slacking off again Clarissa, now get out of my sight." He says letting go of me.
I scramble off of the ground and go up the stairs until I see my duffel bag in front of a tiny room. I open the door to see it not as dirty as the other rooms but extremely small. I must've been some sort of storage room. All that's in there is a small, torn mattress and, surprisingly, my backpack.
Feeling weak I decide to tend to all the scratches I got tomorrow morning. I lay on my mattress going through the contents in my backpack, all of my binders and supplies are still in there but closer to the bottom, crumpled, is the picture I had drawn of Jace and I at the hospital so many weeks ago.
I feel my breath hitch as I gently lay it down on the mattress next to me.
Oh god I miss him.
I fall asleep feeling the gap in my heart only grow until I'm sucked into a welcome darkness.
JACE POV
I wake up the next morning not wanting to get out of bed. But I know Maryse wouldn't let me skip another day.
I take my time getting ready. Once I know I can't spend another minute lollygagging I run to my car to pick up Jon. Monday's are always hard but having to go to Clary's house is like pouring a alcohol over a wound everyday just to make sure it still hurts.
I honk my horn when I get to Jon's house to let him know I'm here. I don't get out anymore. Jon comes out lugging his football bag and backpack.
As he's putting his stuff in the trunk, I check my phone to see as usual, a crap ton of notifications from people I don't care about. As I'm about to lock my phone I notice something strange, I'm going through all of the texts I've sent Clary to see they've all been read.
What?
"Something wrong?" Jon asks me when he gets in.
"Yeah, but there isn't really anything either of us can do about it." I say, starting the car and driving off.
The car ride is silent, which two weeks ago would've been unheard of but neither of us even try anymore.
When we reach the football field everybody's already there getting warmed up. Jon and I rush to get suited up and join them.
"Hey." I say as Jon's walking out the door to the field, he turns around "You know you can always talk to me right?"
he looks down and nods giving me a half smile. If losing Clary has hit anyone hard it's definitely Jon.
I walk out after Jon toward the huddle.
"Okay." Jon says in his assertive quarterback voice "This drill we're faking the quarterback. Lewis do not pass to me but to Jace are we clear?"
"yes!" the team says all together.
"All right, Break!" we all get into position as the coach blows the whistle. Simon, instead of passing the ball through his legs throws it to me and I start running, that is, until something catches my eye.
I didn't know I had stopped running until I'm tackled by Augustus who playing for the other team in this practice.
"Dude. What's been with you?" he asks.
I barely register it as I'm locked on the only person sitting on the bleachers.
Clary.
AN: I hope you guys like this chapter! The song in this chapter was Yesterday by the Beatles because I love the Beatles! Tell me what you guys thought of the return of Clary! ALSO comment what you guys think is going to happen next! I love hearing your feedback and what you guys think. You guys are amazing!
Secondly! School for me is starting in like 8 days so I'm about to get really busy with theater and karate and homework and all that jazz! So I'll try my best to get the chapters out as soon as I can!
And as always! Comment 'Terrible Things' on my Instagram page so I know who my readers are! You can find me on IG at erin_g_ !
I love all my readers!
R & R
XOXO
Erin