Plastic Man

Chapter 2

I'm losing heart again...

Yamato wandered down the stairs, not really caring that his father would probably ground him to Hell and back when he returned. The blonde had to smile- that hadn't happened in awhile. In fact, it seemed he only heard of Takeru getting grounded lately. Yamato was in a bad mood and so his mind immediately wandered to his mother and her lectures towards Hiroaki.

Going to see his little brother was a good thing. Yeah. Even if they weren't getting along. Maybe Hiroaki and him had waited too long to explain everything, but Yamato just couldn't do it three years ago. Takeru was just a kid, then. Now, he was growing up and he deserved to know the truth. Or, was it like Sora and he should have had a choice? Because of that, he found Takeru looking for a reason to be angry. Takeru was pushing others away, like he had.

Is.

Yamato still had to take the subway, even if the two had moved closer to town. At least the trip was much shorter than it had been ages ago. He pushed through the crowd, noting how there was a such a throng this late at all. When he finally reached the bottom of the platform, he found a clearing of space near the large red line that seperated them from the railway. He growled under his breath at the line. The line that he crossed far too often. The line that was about to decide where his life would veer.

Dazed and lost in thoughts about his family, his friends, his band, and school... all of it was so overwhelming he just continued walking. The train was coming. He could picture himself walking off into the pit... maybe he already had. The abyss of his life was joining him hand in hand and he felt lifeless as he began to step off the platform.

Then the train went roaring past him.

He found himself staring up at the ceiling with people giving him strange looks. Had he fallen backwards instead? Yamato sat up and looked at what he had landed on that was obviously not the concrete. The hand was still gripping the back of his jacket.

"Are you alright? I'm very sorry for intervening, but I just-"

God, that incessant rambling and out-of-place apologeticness sounds familiar. "Jyou?"

"-grabbed you," he paused, "Yamato?! J-Jeez," Jyou stammered, pulling the two of them up off the ground. "Are you... okay?"

"No," the blonde replied, staring at a random button on Jyou's uniform.

"I guess I could have seen that. What happened?"

"...I almost died, right?" Yamato whispered, grabbing onto Jyou's hand. "What are you doing here, anyway, Jyou?"

"My father made me go into town to buy a very specific medical journal after I forgot to pick it up earlier," Jyou shrugged, still holding his friend's hand. Yamato pulled away, seeming to come out of his daze somewhat.

"I was going to do... something... I don't remember."

"Here, come back to my house for a bit. I'm guessing going home won't help right now and I could use the company."

"Jyou...?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

The train ride was silent for both of them, but Jyou didn't mind. He was more concerned with the blonde next to him. Last time they saw each other, alone, was when they were keeping an eye on one of those spore kids. Even then, Yamato had been dating Sora, but Jyou did get the feeling something was off between them. That was a week ago.

They finally got back to the Kido apartment. Yamato immediately recognized the scent of medical and cleaning supplies. As the blonde ran his hand over the half-wall dividing rail, he didn't detect a sense of dust. The floors had been freshly vaccummed or mopped. The kitchen was organized. A row of bookshelves containing medical books were organized alphabetically. The only book... the only item strewn about was the bag from the bookstore that Jyou had just sat down. Yamato couldn't remember the last time he had bothered to wash his jeans at this point.

"Where are your parents?"

"Dad's on call and my Mom... well, the lithium stopped working again."

"Sorry to hear that," Yamato replied, tired. He flopped on the couch. Jyou placed his shoes near the door, then straightened his friend's kicked off ones and hurried to the kitchen.

"I'll make some tea," he announced, going to the kitchen. "Sit down. Oh, you did. Woops."

Yamato smiled and laid back.

"I didn't want to say anything," Jyou chuckled, "But you smell like smoke. Tell your Dad it's bad for his health."

"Ah, okay," the other replied. "I'll do that..."

"So, can you tell me what happened?"

"What makes you think I'll tell you?" Yamato teased.

"Well... I don't," Jyou said, hissing because he nearly burned his hand on the stove, "I was just hoping you would, since whatever it was made you nearly leap to your doom and all."

"...it's everyone."

"Sora?"

"Everyone..."

"And?"

"...I got really freaking wasted because Sora wouldn't stop hounding me to, you know, get the relationship moving."

Jyou frowned. He could see where this was going already. He knew a lot about Yamato and was smart enough to put some of the pieces together. "Sounds like her friends were pressuring her. I hear that a lot, even at cram school."

"I couldn't get the nerve. The only one I ever-" Yamato stopped, remembering the night they shared in the diner. They were young enough to only screw around, but the blonde still remembered it fondly. "It was the only time I felt normal."

Jyou watched the boy from the kitchen island with a smile. It was nice to think about someone else's problems for a change. Jyou had nearly forgotten the exam the next day or the fact his mother was back in the nuthouse.

"Anyway, somehow I attacked Sora. I'm sure I was just defending myself because I was remembering Mom, but Sora didn't know. I should've told her everything..."

"Reminds me of my panic attacks," Jyou piped.

"So... Dad made me explain because it was the chivalrous thing to do. I just.. wanted out." Jyou found himself clenching one fist as the tea began to dissipate behind him. "I told myself, I'll go talk to Takeru since he's really hurt by Sora and I breaking up... but honestly, ever since I told him about who our mother really is, he won't even speak to me."

"Well, he never went through the same things as you. How could he understand?"

"What makes me so special?" Yamato remarked, looking at his own hands in disgust. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"You're just prettier," Jyou chuckled.

"Come on, Jyou."

"Sorry," the other said, still smiling. "You know, it's not like I haven't had those same thoughts."

"Huh?"

"The train... I pass by it almost every day." Jyou took the tea off the stove and poured them each a cup, bringing it over. Jyou blew on the tea and took a sip, but still burned the tip of his tongue. Yamato pulled away with guilt. Not for causing Jyou's burnt tongue, but for any reason. He felt like a negative sphere, sucking up all the hate, sorrow, guilt, and blame.

"You've got a loving family, Jyou... a successful future..."

"You have those things, too. It's just a rough patch," Jyou replied.

"I know one thing we don't have: ladies," Yamato laughed. Genuinely. Jyou could tell because he had this goober way of laughing when he was really happy.

"I guess I don't make time for that," Jyou admitted, swirling his tea.

"I'm too fucked in the head," Yamato equally admitted.

"I'm used to that, at least," Jyou replied, glancing over at a photo of his mother. Before. "Well, we have our health."

"And friendship..." Yamato sighed.

"Well, you sound better already," Jyou smiled. "I'm glad."

"Look, I didn't come here to just... mope. How are you doing, Jyou?"

"Me?" Jyou blinked. "Studying. Fighting with Dad. Missing my brothers. Worrying about Mom. Studying."

"Your life never changes... doesn't that get dull?" Yamato asked, his tea almost gone.

"I call it stable. Unlike you. I didn't say this earlier, but you just seem fine one day and a lost cause the next... I don't know what to think. Yamato..."

"Yeah?" the blonde sighed.

"Why were you really going to kill yourself? Please, tell me."

"I'll never move past it," Yamato whispered. "She's going to haunt me the rest of my life."

"Yamato... you can't let her rule your life. Besides, she... well, she didn't even mean to..."

"Didn't mean to?" Yamato snapped. "Jyou! She's a monster and you know it!"

"I'm sorry, okay. It's just... I know a lot about how the brain works-"

"Fuck your books, Jyou. My mother is a sick human being at the heart and you're right... that thing was lying deep inside her brain long before the cancer manifested what she really is."

"Yamato..."

"What?" the other snapped, slamming down the tea.

"Just don't forget you have me, okay?" Jyou asked, trying to hide the tears that were falling in his tea. "I just keep thinking about you, smashing into little pieces... Just because your let her haunt you. I can't let that happen."

Yamato stood and sighed, looking around the room. Anything to avoid Jyou.

"Gabumon wouldn't want that, either."

"I know. Jyou... don't cry. Please."

"I can't help it. I nearly lost my only friend in the world and you would just as well jump if I let you leave this apartment right now, wouldn't you?!"