Hello guys. So this is THE chapter. I got really emotional writing this and tried to make as realistic as possible without giving too many details. If you arm not comfortable reading this, I completely understand. I want all of you to know that I have been reading fanfic for a long time, and over the years, I have come across many stories where an event as terrible as this happens to the main character. And over the years I have found that a lot of these stories almost glaze over it, like it isn't a big part of the story, and simply use it as a way to show fluff between characters. I know from personal experience(I was not raped but I do have an extreme anxiety disorder and have been placed into many mental institutions and group therapy rounds. It is through this that I met and gotten to know and even befriended people who were raped and are haunted by it.) that there is not a single rape victim that forgets, or is fine afterwards. It stays with you, and in an odd way I wanted to give victims justice by not glazing over it, like so many others. So without further ado, here it is. I hope you can understand why I felt it necessary to write it all out.
I wake with a hazy fog over my eyes. I can feel the plushness of what I believe is a bed underneath of me. Slowly I try to take in my surroundings as the haze leaves my eyes. I see a window on the wall opposite of me and a door on the adjacent wall. The walls are a very clinical white and the whole room smells like an overly sterile hospital. There is nothing else here. Wait where is here? I try to sit up and am immediately pushed back down by the throbbing pain in my head. I see a small gangly man walk into the room. He has a beard that has been shaped so that it appears as though there are flames licking their up the side of his face. I try to sit again, this time with at least a bit more success. I do not know this man. "Where am I?" I ask struggling to stay upright as the room begins to swirl around me again. The man does not respond. I watch him carefully, with a renewed fear when I see the needle. It filled with a slightly transparent blue liquid. I begin to shake as my minds runs rampant with the thought of what it could be.
"What is that for? TELL ME WHERE I AM!" I scream at him. He does not respond. He looks at me as though I am a bug, something he could squash so easily and I hate it. I am about to yell at him again but he stabs my arm with the needle and injects the serum into my bloodstream, without a second thought.
"You are here to stay. This will keep unwanted side effects of the work you will now be doing, at bay."
"What work?" I ask, terrified now.I can guess what he is alluding to, but I refuse to accept. Surely this is a just a terrible, terrible nightmare. This can't be happening to me. I am not even attractive. I am bony, and short, and my eyes are a dull gray. Peeta constantly fights me on the stance of my non-existent no, Peeta, he is probably losing his mind right now. I remember the time I ventured a little too far in the woods. I had told Peeta I would be spending the night at his house. I did not make it back until well-past midnight. I found him crying and pacing, with a crazed look on his face. I try not think about what Peeta is doing right now, because even imagining him in pain only brings me more pain.
I am torn from my thought by the man's simplistic response: "This work." He then leave the room, no further explanation, no details, nothing but a devilish smile.
Soon there is yet another man I don't know in the room. This man has tattoos that stretch from the base of his neck to the tips of his fingers, encasing his body in an all too colorful wrapping paper of skin. He is grotesquely obese and has no hair atop his head. I look into his eyes and see nothing but rage: A psychopathic rage that causes my body to go rigid with fear. I see him begin to fumble with the zipper of his pants, and my worst fears are realized. I scurry back on the bed so that may back is pressed firmly against the headboard. He begins to crawl his way up the bed towards me, with a smirk on his face that displayed his yellowing teeth. When he is close enough so that I can smell his stomach churning breath, I reel my hand back and hit him square in the face. It appears to have no affect on him at all, like my punch was nothing more than a butterfly landing on his nose.
"Feisty" he whispers in my ear as he grabs wrists and yanks me from the headboard, He takes one of his abhorrent hands off my wrist to pull my pants down and I use this to get away from him. I force my knee into his groin and scurry to the window and hit it with my might, it doesn't break. I hit it again. Why won't it break? Then I feel his large monstrous body behind me, pushing my small frame against the wall, so that face is pressed against the cool glass. Using his shear weight to press me further into the wall he pulls my pant and underwear down. I struggle with my might but then I feel it. A bloodcurdling scream escapes my lips as he enters me. An unimaginable pain rips through hips. And I want to cry so badly, but I refuse to show weakness to this pig. So instead I stand there in silence, wishing for it to end, and it does. I stand there until he leaves and I stand there until the next man enters, and where he leaves me I stay.
Man after man, I loose everything and slip into the same state my mother is in. I feel nothing. My entire body shuts down. I stare blankly at the wall. A single tear creeps down my face. I have nothing, I am nothing. I repeat this over and over again, until I believe it without a doubt. I feel the pressure lift from above me. But I don't move. I lay there as he gathers his things. I lay there as he leaves without a word. I do not get up. I never get up.