Author's Note: We are really excited for you guys to read this chapter! So we hope you like it! Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing! You guys are truly amazzzzzing! We are having so much fun writing this! Sadly we only have a few more chapters to go though. But on the bright side we are thinking of writing another story together, so there's that. Anyway we thank you guys for being awesome! We're glad you liked the last chapter and everything that happened with LoVe, and the MaDi refrigerator kiss plus jealous Dick of course and Logan saving V! We hope you guys like this chapter! Just a forewarning there is some more friendship talk (we know you guys had questions and concerns about it, but just know there will be a HEA), but we do have a plan, so please keep that in mind. Please let us know what you think!
Thank you to:bjq, minimoon16, The Scarlet Letter, guest, cainc3, cantarams, Scandalpants, Czomom, spiderwho, AliLorien, ptitemel38, mznaughty, Dani, irislim, nuttynitnat83, Guest, Angelpete87, timide, Guest, LaDanaid, jandjsalmon, Kerali, LovepjandBrucaslover, JosieLynn, BeWitchingRedhead36, viki, guest, wolfe80, & irma66!
Enjoy!
Chapter 8: All I want for Christmas is You
"I'm not really sure what to do," Veronica admitted quietly.
Mac opened her eyes and regarded her friend. The two of them were in a mud bath that had been prepared for them at the spa. Their decision to cash in on their spa gift from Logan that day had been an easy one. The foursome hadn't planned anything else to do that day and both Mac and Veronica had boy issues they wanted to discuss. They had already completed their massage, mani-pedi, and a facial before settling into their mud bath. Neither of them had brought up their issues with their male counterparts until now.
"What?" Mac asked, opening her eyes and blinking at the dull lighting in the room.
"I'm not sure what to do about Logan," Veronica said with a sigh.
Mac cleared her throat and waited for her friend to continue. It was very rare for Veronica to confide in her - especially about Logan. Mac knew the majority of their story, but there was still quite a bit that she had just inferred. After watching them interact this past week she felt she understood them a lot better. She wished they could move past their issues so they could just be together. Mac thought that, despite all their issues, Logan and Veronica were fundamentally perfect for each other. She wouldn't have agreed to help Dick if she hadn't thought so. But Mac and Dick could only help their friends so much. Eventually the couple would have to make the decision for themselves to actually be together.
"I know I said that I was okay with Logan and I just being friends but…" Veronica sighed and moved to run a hand through her hair before she remembered she was covered in mud and dropped it back down into the bath. Mac watched as Veronica fidgeted before she finally settled back against the wall.
"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I can be what Logan needs. I mean, I'm not sure if you know this, but I…I might have f-feelings for him again," Veronica stuttered, feeling extremely uncomfortable.
"Really?" Mac asked sarcastically.
"I know that I said we were just friends, but I care about him a lot," Veronica struggled to say, too distracted by her own thoughts to pick up on Mac's sarcasm.
Mac smirked, watching as Veronica avoided her gaze. "But now - after this weekend, I don't think I'm what he needs. I mean honestly – I'm embarrassed to be here."
"Why?" Mac asked, frowning. She had been having a great week so far, especially with Dick. She smiled slightly as she thought about everything that had happened.
"Just because of Logan!" Veronica said in exasperation.
"What about him? I mean yeah you guys have been fighting, but that's just how you are," Mac said, shrugging.
"Just everything! I mean I shouldn't have even called him in the first place. He didn't make any move to contact me after the whole Mercer thing. Wait – what do you mean that's how we are?" Veronica asked, frowning at Mac.
Mac bit her tongue and gestured for her friend to continue. Veronica wasn't about to let the comment slide. She stubbornly sat there and stared at Mac, waiting for her to explain herself. Mac finally relented.
"I don't mean it in a bad way," Mac began sympathetically. "You guys both have strong personalities and you have a lot to overcome…not to mention the fact that you both completely suck at communication."
Veronica sighed and looked away. "But I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to have to overcome all of this stuff to be together. I mean how do I even know he still loves me? I was so scared after the whole Mercer and Moe attack and I waited for him to call me and then... I was the one to finally reach out. I think we're actually done. For real this time," she finished, sadly.
She looked off in the distance and then turned to look at Mac who was gnawing on her bottom lip. "I should've taken the hint when he didn't call. I mean, I'm sure he cares, but I feel like it says something if a girl gets attacked and the boyfriend doesn't even call. Or ex-boyfriend or friend - whatever the hell we are!" she finished, throwing her hands up and sending mud flying across the room.
Mac nodded mutely, watching as Veronica had her own little hissy fit in the mud bath. Finally Veronica looked up to her and tilted her head. "What do you think?" she asked.
Mac shrugged and looked away, knowing Veronica didn't actually want to know what she thought.
"Mac, please. I need to know," Veronica whispered.
Mac cracked like a walnut. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" she said, looking expectantly at her best friend. "Because I can continue to smile and nod while you talk if you want me to."
Veronica was surprised at her friend's vehemence and could only manage a slight nod in response.
"Veronica, Logan went to jail for you," she finally blurted out.
"What?" she asked, confused. Her head was spinning.
"After the whole Moe and Mercer attack Logan purposefully got arrested. For you. To hurt them for hurting you," Mac said, frustrated.
Veronica looked away, feeling a familiar ache in her heart. Logan always was her white knight. She should have known he would do something. He always saved her or protected her somehow.
"Listen, Veronica I'm your friend and I'll always be your friend, but you need to realize what's right in front of you. Logan loves you! Dick told me that Logan didn't come to you right after the whole Mercer things because he was ashamed. He was the one who put you in that position in the first place. He already feels guilty enough about you being raped in high school and then he almost got you raped again. He couldn't protect you, yet again, and that killed him. But he didn't want you to think that he went after Mercer and Moe to win you back. He didn't want you to know about any of it. I am amazed you didn't figure it out yourself, quite frankly," Mac said quietly.
Veronica blinked rapidly, trying to fully grasp what Mac had just told her. Logan loved her? And he beat up Mercer and Moe? And he still felt really guilty about what happened at Shelly's party? She shouldn't be surprised, but she was. Could he still love her after everything that had happened? He had broken up with her.
Armed with this new information she cringed at her behavior this past week. How could he still want her after everything that had happened? She thought about Never Have I Ever, the older couple at the grocery store and the several fights they had since they had arrived. But she smiled next as she thought about falling asleep in his arms the night before and how she got to wake up there too. She had watched him sleep that morning before she crept back to her own room to ready for the spa day. She hadn't seen him that morning yet, but she hadn't stopped thinking about him since the moment she had opened her eyes.
"Veronica, I know you've dealt with a lot. We all have. Everyone has their own shit to deal with. I mean, I'm lusting after my dead, murdering, rapist ex-boyfriend's man-whore of a brother who used to date the chick I was switched a birth with. Life is complicated. No one's life is perfect, but we have to deal." Mac cut herself off, wanting to take her time with what she said next since it was so imperative.
"Eventually you are going to have to take a risk and let Logan in. If you can't get past your issues you're never going to be able to be with the man you love. Logan knows your history and he still loves you. He puts up with your craziness and he still loves you. He knows you are going to constantly put yourself in danger and he still loves you. He wants to be a better person for you because he loves you. The looks he gives you say everything! God, Veronica I used to be so jealous of how he looks at you. He looks at you like you're the only one in his world. And, if you want to know the truth, you look at him as if he's the only one in your world," Mac finished off softly.
Veronica opened her mouth to protest but she realized she couldn't because Mac was right. She was completely right and Veronica had no idea how she was only just now realizing it. She was silent for a few minutes taking in what Mac had said.
"Thank you," Veronica said quietly.
Mac nodded and leaned back, hoping the conversation would to lapse back into a comfortable silence. But Veronica thwarted her plan by asking the one question Mac hadn't anticipated after her speech.
"So what's going on between you and Dick?" Veronica asked, smirking when she saw Mac turn a delicate shade of pink.
"Oh…that," Mac said shyly.
Veronica grinned. "Come on, you know you wanna tell me. You just told me what I really needed to hear so the least you can do is tell me what's going on between you and Dick. I mean, didn't you just use the words Dick and lust in the same sentence?" she asked, giving Mac a look.
Mac rolled her eyes playfully and sighed. "Well, I like him and I think he likes me, but he gave me this stupid speech about not believing in monogamy."
Veronica scowled, "Well you'll have to fix that then. Just tell him you want to date him and no one else. Tell him you like him but aren't willing to share. He can't get you and sleep around; he has to make a choice. The only thing is though that you need to make sure you're ready to hear something you might not like. But, if I had to bet, I'd say that he will see that you are worth it."
Mac chuckled and regarded her friend. "Look at you giving me advice now. What changed your mind?" she asked, smirking when she saw Veronica blush lightly.
"Listen, Mac, you like Dick and you deserve to be happy. Do what your gut tells you," she said, quietly thinking about how she was going to do what her own gut told her to do too. She was done listening to her fight or flight instincts. She was going to stay and fight for Logan; she owed herself and him that much.
"I'm going to follow mine," Veronica added quietly. She thought of how she was going to have to step out of comfort zone and prove to him that she was willing to do what it took to keep him. All the crap in their past wasn't worth not being with the person she loved. Try as she might to deny it, she did love him.
"What happened last night with you and Ronnie?" Dick asked as he and Logan returned their equipment. While the girls had been at the spa the two boys decided to go snowmobiling. Now that the sun was disappearing they were dropping the equipment back at the lodge before returning to the cabin to meet the girls.
Logan glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are we going to have girl talk now, Dick? I thought that was scheduled for five - right after our manicures," he asked, smirking when Dick scoffed.
"I'm just asking dude. I gotta know what kind of atmosphere I'm about to walk into when we get back," Dick said.
"Why? Bringing a hot girl over?" Logan asked, grinning when he saw Dick look uncomfortable.
"Dude, screw you. I'm interested in Mac." Dick surprised them both by blurting out the truth.
Logan's grin widened and he wiggled his eyebrows at his friend. "You and Mac, huh?" he asked.
Dick scowled at Logan's teasing. "I was thinking of asking her out."
Logan nodded; all traces of mocking were long gone. "Mac's a nice girl, Dick," he said quietly as they finally arrived at the car.
"Yeah," Dick said, smiling goofily. "But what are you and Ronnie doing? Like are you friends again? Fuck buddies? Like what? Cause I gotta know since the less fighting you and Ronnie do the more likely I can get Mac to agree to a date with me," Dick said, hoping that Logan and Veronica were on better terms than they had been the previous evening.
"We're fine. I mean, I don't know. I just feel like we've gotten closer, but it's for all the wrong reasons. She can't open up without using alcohol to lower her inhibitions. And if that's the case I don't think we have a future together," he said sadly.
Dick patted him awkwardly on the back before they got into the car. "Dude, sometimes love is a battlefield," Dick said, making Logan frown.
"Did you just quote Pat Benatar?" Logan asked incredulously.
"I don't know who he is," Dick said, making Logan laugh most of the way home.
When Dick and Logan got back to the cabin they were not surprised to see the girls looking fresh and pink from the spa. Mac and Dick took one look at Logan and Veronica smiling shyly at each other and immediately went into the kitchen to start cooking dinner together. The banging and clattering from the kitchen became louder as Mac and Dick tried to whip up a meal. Every since the Christmas Eve dinner they cooked together they had taken it upon themselves to make each meal. They enjoyed spending the extra minutes alone.
"Can we talk?" Veronica asked over the din coming from the kitchen.
Logan nodded and they went up to his room. They sat on the bed, both feeling uncomfortable.
"Thanks for last night," she said, clearing her throat and hoping she sounded more put together than she felt.
"It was no problem," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"No seriously. I really appreciate it. It's been an interesting holiday so far," she said, blushing at how many times in the past few days she'd been a hot mess and had to apologize.
"You've been through a lot lately," he said, looking up to meet her eyes.
"You have too," she said quietly.
He smiled slightly and let out a low sigh. "So how about for the rest of our time here we try a more relaxed mode."
She nodded and gave him a warm smile. "I think that's doable," she said before getting off the bed and going back downstairs.
The rest of the night was spent in the cabin. The friends ate dinner and watched a movie. When Mac and Dick started making out during the movie Veronica gestured to Logan to make a break for it. He wholeheartedly agreed and they snuck out for a star-lit walk through the neighborhood. Neither Dick nor Mac noticed their friends were gone until they broke apart for air several minutes later. Mac moved to duck back down to continue their make out session when Dick put an arm on her shoulder to stop her.
"Listen, I know we have plans for tomorrow night, but I was thinking the next day maybe I could take you out?" he asked hopefully.
She noticed he was looking bashful and it made her grin. She heartily agreed and then kissed him again to seal the deal.
The next day the girls decided to go shopping to get ready for the dinner and a show that was planned for that night with the boys. Logan had surprised them with four tickets to Cirque De Soliel. No one had ever heard Veronica scream as loudly as this morning during breakfast when he had shared his plans for the evening. Since neither of the girls had brought anything nice enough to wear to Cirque, they decided to go to the boutiques in Tahoe. The only problem was that most of them were way more expensive than either of them was willing to spend.
"Maybe we should just go to K-Mart," Mac said, putting another dress back since it cost almost as much as her little bug did.
Veronica frowned and put the dress she was holding back as well. "Come on, let's go walk around a bit longer and then go sniff out K-Mart," she said, grinning when a woman gave her a scandalized look at the thought of K-mart.
They left the store and walked down the street until a lingerie store came into sight. Veronica grabbed Mac's arm and pulled her towards it.
"What are you doing?" Mac exclaimed, looking at Veronica in horror.
"Helping you," Veronica said as they entered.
"If I barely have money to spend on a dress how am I going to buy thousand dollar scraps of lace?" Mac hissed as Veronica drifted from her side and began to peruse.
"Mac, relax! Just look! Pick something fun out," Veronica said, winking at her.
Mac blushed brightly and moved towards Veronica who was looking at some clearance items. "I don't know if I'm ready for this though," she said quietly.
Veronica gave her a look that told Mac that she understood. "Mac, buying lingerie doesn't mean you're ready. It's just for when you are ready. When Logan and I had our first time I surprised him with lingerie and it was fun. It takes the awkwardness out of having a first time," she said, trying to make her friend feel better. "Listen if you don't want to buy anything in here we can go back to dress shopping - that's fine. But remember that you don't always need a guy to wear lingerie. It's just fun if you do," Veronica said.
She then gestured to the door and looked Mac in the eye. "Do you want to go?" she asked.
Mac stared at her and then shook her head. "No."
Veronica grinned and shoved some bright blue lingerie at her. "Go try it on." She instructed before grabbing some red and black items and following her to the dressing rooms.
They both ended up buying a few items despite the ridiculous pricing. When they left the store Mac turned to Veronica with curious eyes.
"I never pegged you as one to be so into lingerie," Mac said as they continued walking towards another dress shop.
"It all was Lilly. She loved going lingerie shopping. I was always so embarrassed to go with her and then she finally made me buy something. She told me that I didn't need a man to wear lingerie and that it was just nice to feel sexy once in awhile. Lingerie, she said, did that. Knowing you are wearing something hot under your clothes always gives you courage," she said, her voice tinged with a forlornness that Mac had always heard when she talked of Lilly.
Mac smiled, "Thanks."
Veronica shrugged it off and pulled Mac into another store. "If we don't find anything here, I vote K-mart," she muttered, drifting to the clearance rack. Mac nodded and they both began to browse. They bith were surprised to find something they liked that wasn't too expensive. After a fun-filled day they made it home just in time to get ready for Cirque and dinner that night.
"Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?" Logan asked as they drove home after their night out.
Veronica blushed and let her mind wander to the events of that evening. They had left around six for dinner and she would never forget Logan's jaw drop at the sight of her in her dress. She had worn a red silky halter dress that accentuated her breasts and flowed down to just above her knees. She wore the same heels from the party a few nights earlier and she'd curled her hair. She'd even worn the earnings that he'd gotten her for Christmas. Mac wore a navy blue baby doll dress that showed off her legs, and her hair was done in a soft, loose bun with pieces of hair framing her face. Veronica almost laughed out loud when she saw Dick's reaction.
The dinner had gone well and the show was even better. Veronica had leaned so far over in her seat several times Logan had to wrap an arm around her to keep her still. She wasn't complaining though. She had even snuggled into him at some parts. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much and she was pretty sure that her hands would take days to recover from clapping so hard at the performance. She'd never seen anything so amazing before in her life and she couldn't stop thanking Logan for getting them tickets.
"Actually you have, several times," she said as they got out of the car back at the cabin.
"Well then let me tell you several more times," he said, winking at her.
She rolled her eyes and looked over at Mac and Dick who were wrapped around each other. She frowned, feeling slightly jealous at how easily they were able to work through their own pasts while she seemed so stuck in the same spot.
She nudged Logan and he looked back at her and then over at them. He smiled sadly and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. They were both jealous at how seemingly easy Mac and Dick had it.
Logan opened the door of the cabin quickly so that they could get out of the cold. Dick moved past them to start a fire and Mac curled on the couch in front of it. Neither Logan nor Veronica felt too comfortable sitting with Dick and Mac; they seemed so intimate.
"Do you want to get in the hot tub?" Logan asked, wanting to both do something with her and avoid being downstairs with Mac and Dick.
Veronica nodded and they both disappeared to change into their swimsuits. Once she had changed she tip-toed downstairs and saw Mac and Dick still cuddled by the fire. She swore they were more sickening than those Peeps that were coated in sugar and gelatin. She grabbed a towel before going outside and cursed herself for not bringing shoes with her. She uncovered the hot tub and climbed in. She settled back against the wall and fiddled with the controls to get the hot tub just as Logan joined her. Veronica had a hard time keeping her eyes away from him as they stared at his deliciously lean body. She could feel her heart beating faster as she took in the sight of him. She knew that tonight she was finally going to make good on what she'd talked about with Mac the day before.
Logan settled across from her and they smiled bashfully at each other. They were both quiet as they watched the snow fall around them as they sat in the hot tub.
"It's really beautiful here," he said, breaking the silence.
Veronica nodded absentmindedly as she stared at him, willing herself to muster the courage to talk to him. She felt herself threatening to burst at the seams. She wanted to pour everything out to him - everything she had wanted to say for months now, maybe even years.
"Yeah it is," she said quietly, her eyes still trained on him.
His eyes met hers and he gave her a grin as he slid deeper into the hot tub. She could feel his long legs pressing against her thighs and the skin-on-skin contact made her heart jump into her throat. She took a deep breath in and counted to ten before jumping off the metaphorical precipice and finally opening herself to Logan. It was something that was long overdue but she knew it was either open up now or lose him forever.
"You know, I've always been a bit jealous of how easily you can open up to people," she began, quietly. She looked down at the water and then forced herself to look back at him. "I mean that I'm scared to open up to you, but you've always had this ability to let me in and put down your walls. I've never been able to do that." She paused and glanced away before continuing. She wanted to get it all out before she lost her nerve. "Everyone that I let in always leaves me, but I really want you to know that you're worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. I want to open up to you; I want there to be an us. So my first question is why did you really break up with me on the quad?" she asked, her voice steadily getting softer.
He blinked, schooling his features and then took a deep breath. He knew he needed to answer her, but he knew that conversations like this with her never ended well. "Veronica, I don't want to fight tonight," he said warily.
"I know. I don't either, but I want to fix us. I want to be open with you and not be scared. I want us again. I'm ready to fight like you do for us. You're worth fighting for; we're worth fighting for," she said ardently.
He regarded her for a moment before he leaned his head back and stared at the sky. He finally turned his gaze back on her when he felt ready to go on.
"You were pulling away from me. Emotionally, I mean. And you kept putting yourself in danger. I was in love with you, but you weren't ready or you didn't love me…I don't know which. I knew that I was going to just get in deeper and that you could easily discard me. You don't need me the way I need you and that's…it's scary to know that you love someone so much couldn't care less about you. I figured it would be better to cut it off before I was in so deep to the point where I wasn't me anymore. I watched my mother worship my father until she was a shell of her former self. I couldn't let that happen to me. Does that make sense?" he asked, hoping she understood what he was trying to say.
She smiled sadly and nodded, "Yeah, but Logan, you couldn't be more wrong." She moved closer to him and put a hand on his cheek, wanting to look him in the eye when she told him everything. After hearing his answer she was now more determined than ever to open up to him. She took a deep breath and began to talk.
"I do need you. I need you so much, it's scary to even think about. Every time I tried to open up I felt like I was kicked in the gut. After Alterna-Prom and your whole speech I left because I needed to think everything over. Then, when I went to go see you and tell you everything I'm telling tell you now, Kendall was there. I was ready then to open up to you and put myself out there; I was scared and vulnerable and – fucking Kendall… just that scene with you and Kendall and how you opened the door it just… it hurt a lot and – like I told you the other night, it broke my heart. It made me put my walls back up," she said, stroking her fingers across his cheek. She looked away and dropped her hand. "I felt like you had just said these amazing words and then you turned around and slept with Kendall as if they meant nothing. You have to understand, Logan…I don't need words. I need actions. And when, after everything you told me, you slept with Kendall I was…skeptical and hurt. I didn't believe you actually loved me. Everyone just says words that they don't mean and then their actions speak louder. I was hurting and…" she trailed off and took a deep breath. When she looked back up at him she saw how badly he wanted to speak, but he knew her well enough to know she had more to say.
"After graduation…after finding out about Cassidy…and the whole thing with the rape, I felt like I had been raped all over again. And that was combined with the idea losing my dad…it was so much and I was trying to work through all of it. I still am. Then when the Hearst rapist made his move I felt like I'd found the final piece of a puzzle. If I found out who the rapist was then maybe my own problems could be fixed. If I could solve this case then it could help heal myself after what had happened to me. I had this tunnel vision going on and I knew I was putting myself in danger trying to find out the truth, but I told myself it would be okay once it was over." She paused and turned back to him with a sad smile, "It's like I was on a mission and, at the time, I felt like your concern was messing with my focus. So I totally disregarded everything you said and all of your warnings. After everything that happened in that dorm room…how close I came again to…I realize how much I've needed you all along." She raised her hands out of the water and cradled his face, wanting him to understand how badly she did need him.
"I needed you when Lilly died, at her memorial, in the River Styx, on the roof of the Grand, in the Hearst parking garage and so many other places. You are all I have ever needed, but I was so obsessed with finding the truth that I ignored it." She took a shaky breath in and closed her eyes briefly as if it pained her to say the next part. "After you broke up with me, I thought that I'd finally pushed you too far and I'd lost you for good. I didn't think you loved me anymore. I told myself that if I could just get you back as a friend that it would have to be enough. But I've been trying to be friends…and that's really good and dandy and everything, but… I want more. I want us again without all the drama and without all my issues. I'm willing to work through them."
She took a deep breath and gave him a sheepish smile. "Mac told me about you beating up Mercer and Moe in jail. Until she told me that I had my doubts about all of this again. I thought I had lost you. I know it sounds totally insane, but you doing that showed me that you do love me. Until then I thought you'd stopped and that…" she paused and cleared her throat, hoping that he didn't notice the tears gathering in eyes and the slight break in her voice. She hated herself a little bit for crying about this, but she couldn't stop now that she was being honest with him.
"I know I have too much of baggage for anyone to love or put up with, but—" she began.
Logan cut her off swiftly with a kiss. Before she could respond he moved back and gave her a soft smile. He caressed her face and let out a low chuckle. "Oh, Bobcat, I wish you hadn't found out about that."
"About what?" she asked, confused and slightly disoriented from feeling Logan's lips on her own after so long. It had been almost four weeks – not that she was counting.
"Beating up Mercer and Moe. I didn't want you to find out," he said sheepishly.
She blinked and opened her mouth to respond, but he rushed forward before she could speak.
"And of course I still love you. I will always love you. I never stopped," he whispered, gazing deep into her eyes.
She blushed and nodded, believing him all the way to her soul.
"I wanted to go to you afterwards, but I thought that you wouldn't want me around. I practically served you to Mercer on a silver platter. And you never need help, remember?" he said softly.
"Didn't I just tell you I do, though?" she asked in frustration.
He rolled his eyes, "Listen, I was ashamed. The whole thing's my fault. I got you involved with Mercer. I put you in that position despite trying to protect you. I failed you," he said painfully.
She shook her head and moved as close as she could. She made him look her in the eyes and when he finally did she leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.
"You've never failed me. You could never fail me. That's not true, Logan. You've helped me. You're always protecting me and, as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes it's necessary," she said.
He chuckled, "Can I record that for the next time I screw up?"
She smiled sadly and leaned forward nuzzling his neck. "It's not your fault and I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was. It's as much my fault as it is yours. You aren't a disappointment. I'm so proud of who you are. You have no idea how much," she said quietly.
He nodded, feeling too choked up to respond.
"I want to start over. I don't want to just be your friend, Logan, but I think we should start there. I think we should build a friendship and let things progress naturally from there. I think moving slowly this time around would be beneficial," she said.
He nodded and leaned forward to press a soft kiss again her lips. Neither of them could express how grateful they were for the other so they showed each other instead. It didn't go beyond simple kisses and wandering hands. There was barely even any tongue, but the kisses reiterated their feelings. Eventually they pulled away, both knowing they would speed up if they weren't careful.
"Since Dick and Mac are going out tomorrow, which is really weird by the way, do you maybe want to do something?" he asked hopefully.
She nodded. "Sure what do you want to do?" she asked, leaning against him.
He shrugged, "We could just drive around the lake and find some cool stuff to do. Just hang out together, build this thing you call a friendship," he said, smirking.
She grinned and snuggled into his side. "I'm not sure if it's called friendship when the two people in question kiss."
He chuckled, "It's friendship for now, I guess, but I do have a plan to turn it into more."
"I'm completely on board with that plan," she said with a nod.
He grinned, "So just to be clear, the rules of said friendship prohibit both of us from being with other people."
"Right, but we're going slow," she added.
"Right…slow," he said, smirking.
She smiled shyly back and they fell into silence.
"I'm glad you finally opened up," he said, quietly. "I'm proud of you. Was it as scary as you had anticipated?" he asked.
"No, you made it easy. And, strangely enough I'm kinda proud of myself too." She said smiling to herself.
"Good. Because I'll be expecting you to be an open book from here on out," he said.
"I wouldn't expect anything less," she said, reaching down to hold his hand. They smiled at each other and continued to watch the snowfall, both content with their first honest conversation.
(A/n: So what did you guys think? Please review!)