Q had to come in here somewhere. He's so fun. So evil. And yet not at all. Time has gone by from last chapter, and now we're three-quarters of the way through season 2 in TNG.
Chapter 5: Q-Who?
Sam looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. Daniel didn't envy her the work she'd been putting herself through, only to become increasingly more frustrated when the answers hid themselves from her day after day after day. Daniel had timed his visit as perfectly as he could, having left piles of references regarding Iconians, Latin, and notepads filled with all the information he could remember about Ancients as he tried to piece together what little information Starfleet had about the gateways.
Daniel knew he needed a break, but only half as much as Sam needed one. At least Daniel had been making progress. He couldn't say the same for Sam.
Daniel wandered through the labyrinthine hallways of the Enterprise in the direction of Engineering, where Sam spent most of her time these days. Daniel would go with her some days, in the beginning, but the constant throbbing of the blue warp core gave him headaches, so he soon retreated to his room again.
"Sam?" he called tentatively when he entered, when a young ensign walked up, smiled at him, and then asked the replicator for a hot chocolate. Daniel wasn't sure he heard right, but he thought she'd just said "please" when she did, and "thank you" when she took the mug out.
"Do you always say 'please' and 'thank you' to the replicators?" he asked with a smile as she took a sip.
"Well, it's called 'intelligent circuitry.' A little courtesy never hurt anything. Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully, adding, "I'm Ensign Sonya Gomez."
"Hi, Sonya, I'm Daniel—"
"Oh, Daniel Jackson, right?" she interrupted. "The expert on Iconians that came from another universe."
Daniel laughed a little. "Yeah. Well, sort of. Hey, have you seen a blonde-haired woman around here? Her name is Samantha Carter…?"
"No," she answered, as bubbly as ever. "I haven't. But I'm new."
"I see," Daniel agreed with a nod. "Well, if you see her… or Lieutenant La Forge, even—"
"Geordi La Forge?" she asked excitedly. "I am so excited to be on this ship! I can't wait to meet all of these people."
"You're… brand new, out of the Academy, aren't you?" Daniel asked with a slight smile. He had to admit that he had never met anyone so thrilled about anything. Well… he had been that excited… once. Something about six points in space… and one for a point of origin…
"Yes! I requested to be on the Enterprise, but I didn't think I'd get to," she explained. "Everyone in class wants the Enterprise. I mean, the flagship of the Federation is a very, very important posting! I just hope I don't mess it up… Lieutenant!" she suddenly shouted, waving one hand.
Geordi saw her and came their direction through the steady stream of engineers going about their business, looking partially annoyed. "Hello, Ensign Gomez," he said to Sonya, which almost made her drop her hot chocolate. "Hi, Daniel."
Sonya Gomaz quivered with delight, and said, before Daniel could even respond to his hello, "Let me just say, Lieutenant La Forge, that I am so pleased to be working on this ship. It is so important and I will do my absolute best to—" It was like watching a train wreck, Daniel thought.
"Thank you, Ensign," Geordi said with a smile. "I know you will do a great job, but just keep in mind that you got this assignment because you have the skills and ability to do it." Sonya smiled the biggest smile she had. "But also keep in mind that food and drink are not permitted in Engineering."
"Oh!" Sonya exclaimed. "Oh, no, you're right. I'm just so nervous and I don't—" She had turned to put her hot chocolate away, colliding with the nearest body while she wasn't paying attention to where she was going. Unfortunately for the poor girl, it was Captain Picard. Time seemed to stand still in Engineering for a moment as everyone froze and awaited the captain's reaction for good or ill. Daniel hid his face from the catastrophe, letting his forehead fall into the palm of one hand, but couldn't help a small smile. Train wreck. Poor thing was a train wreck.
"Actually, it's my fault, sir," Geordi offered, and Daniel grinned at him. Geordi glared at him as though to say, shut up.
"Yes, I'm sure," Captain Picard agreed in an almost-sarcastic tone. Daniel had never heard that from Captain Picard before…
"Oh, Captain! Oh, Captain, I'm sorry. Oh, it's all over you."
"Yes, Ensign, it's all over me," Captain Picard agreed, now somehow holding her cup of hot chocolate.
Sonya still fretted while she tried to somehow wipe up the liquid on the front of his shirt with her hands, apologizing over and over while Geordi, apparently feeling sorry for her, offered to take full responsibility. Eventually, the captain had apparently had enough. "Ensign, I believe it would be simpler if you let me change my uniform," he said with a kindly smile, while putting a bit of distance between her and his shirt.
"I'm very excited about this assignment, Captain," she said, "and I promise I'll try very hard to serve you and this ship to the best of my ability."
"I'm sure you will," Captain Picard agreed with a nod. "Carry on."
Daniel tried his hardest to not laugh. "Can I help you, Captain?" he asked.
"Thank you, Doctor Jackson," Captain Picard said, looking down at his soaked shirt. "I was actually looking for you about some information I found regarding Iconia… but it appears I should first need to change my shirt." Sonya looked from one of them to the other with a hint of reverent awe mixed with jealousy that, though Daniel was not even in Starfleet and not from this universe, the captain would come looking for him personally.
"Oh," Daniel said, deciding that he could easily find Sam later, since she obviously wasn't here at the moment. He took the hot chocolate from the captain's hand and said, "Well, I'll come with you, then," and deposited the mostly-empty mug into the nearest replicator.
"Daniel, wait," Geordi said. "Was there something you needed here?"
"Um, I was just looking for Sam, but I'll find her later," he answered, and walked with the captain to the turbolift.
The captain appeared very occupied with his shirt once the doors closed, and he said, "Deck 9, Officers' quarters. Doctor Jackson, I don't believe the information I had to share with you was as important as this." He looked up from his shirt at Daniel. "If you wish, you may find Major Carter."
"I was just going to ask her if she wanted to get some lunch," Daniel admitted. "She's been running herself ragged. We all have. Well, except for Jack," he muttered.
"Mr. Worf has been very impressed with Mr. Teal'c's performance as a temporary part of his security team. He will be an asset should an emergency come up," Captain Picard said. "And Mr. Data never misses and opportunity to tell me how quickly Major Carter has learned our systems and suggested alternatives for engine efficiency."
"That's Sam," Daniel agreed with a smile, looking up at the ceiling while Captain Picard looked back down at his shirt.
At that moment, the turbolift doors open and the captain stepped out, still occupied with his shirt, and Daniel followed, not totally paying attention. But the next moment he looked out, he realized that this was certainly not "Deck 9, Officers' quarters" as the captain had requested. They appeared to be in a shuttlecraft somehow.
Captain Picard and Daniel both looked back over their shoulders to see if the turbolift doors were still somehow there, but they weren't. That was when Captain Picard noticed that a crewman was sitting at the controls of the shuttlecraft. "Crewman, what's going on?" he asked him.
The crewman turned around in his chair and grinned. "There, there, my dear captain. And the traveler, Daniel Jackson. How splendid."
Daniel had never heard a crewman address the captain that way had had never met this crewman, so didn't know why he would be so pleased to see him. But a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach told Daniel that this was the worst, sick kind of pleasure that the crewman had.
The captain seemed to forget about his shirt. "Q," he said, moving to the back of the chair that the crewman was sitting in.
"Q?" Daniel repeated, looking from the captain to the crewman.
"My, my, we've been careless," Q noticed, looking at the stain on the captain's shirt. He wasted no time in waving his hand over the stain, announcing, "There! A little cleaning service I'm more than happy to provide." He then leaned back in his chair to see Daniel and said, "Daniel! You are not as messy an eater, I see. But your costume is horrendous." He snapped his fingers and Daniel found himself in another set of clothes altogether, the ratted and dusty Abydonian clothes he'd worn on their very first trip through the Stargate. Daniel lifted the scarf off his chest and stared at it hard.
"That's more comfortable, isn't it?" Q asked with a grin.
"Q!" the captain interrupted. "We agreed that you would never trouble my ship again."
"And I always keep my agreements." Q motioned out the window before him. "We are nowhere near your vessel."
A quick look out the window told Daniel that Q was telling the truth—a thing he didn't do very often, Daniel had to guess. They were nowhere near the Enterprise. They, in fact, appeared to be nowhere near anything. He looked from Captain Picard to Q. "Where are we?"
Jack felt like he had practically been on vacation the last few weeks. The Enterprise had gone through many interesting places that Jack watched from the windows of Ten-Forward or from his "quarters" when the view of a planet was good from there. He'd found steady entertainment at Ten-Forward, as well, either with the crew's usual interactions there, concerts, or Guinan. But the more time he spent there, the more he felt that he didn't belong there. He had refused to wear their clothes and the only person he ever thought about talking to was Guinan…
But she did more listening than talking.
"Never too early for a drink, Guinan," he said as he sat at the bar.
Guinan smiled at him and offered a "lunch drink" that they served on some far-flung planet that Jack didn't care about. He had sampled the alcoholic fare of many different planets now, and had to agree with Guinan that Aldebaran whiskey was definitely the best, most robust flavor with the tingle of alcohol that managed to stay with him for house afterward.
Jack waited for his drink and noticed that the engineering-fellow walked in with a pretty girl in the same color uniform that he was wearing. Jack wondered what they were doing momentarily before going back to watching Guinan prepare the "lunch drink." He had considered himself well-rounded when it came to alcohol in this universe before now, but Guinan was using ingredients from beneath the bar that Jack had never seen before. She was obviously holding some things in reserve.
The sound of the engineering girl's voice jabbered through the entire room. She didn't seem to know how to shut up, Jack thought, and seized the glass when Guinan gave it to him, but didn't take a drink. Guinan suddenly looked very serious, frowning out the window even though nothing was there that Jack could see. "Guinan?" he asked, looking from Guinan to the outside. "What is it?"
Guinan reached for the communications panel without answering him and said, "Bridge? This is Ten Forward."
Jack heard Commander Riker's voice come back through the comm-panel. "Guinan!" he asked. "I don't believe you've ever called the bridge before."
"I never felt the need," Guinan answered, and a shiver shot down Jack's spine. "Is everything alright? Is anything… unusual happening?"
Riker was quiet for a moment, maybe checking to make sure that nothing interesting was happening. Jack relaxed a bit when he said, "No, nothing out of the ordinary. Why?"
Guinan sighed and looked straight out the bank of windows again. Still serious. Still concerned. Jack tensed again and stared at the window, too. "I'm…" she pondered. "I'm not certain. Just a feeling. Something that happened once before. Probably nothing," she finally finished. "Please forget I called. Ten Forward out." The comm-panel beeped off.
"Something that happened once before?" Jack demanded, turning toward Guinan. "What the hell does that mean?"
Guinan looked at him briefly before looking back out the window. "You should go find your friends."
Jack sprang up from his chair and raced out of Ten Forward, having not even tasted his lunch drink once.
Captain Picard sat in the seat next to Q and began tapping buttons. Q chuckled, but Daniel was less amused. "How do you know about this?" he demanded, showing Q his dusty scarf. The dust put that taste of the Abydos sandstorms in his mouth. He lifted the scarf to his face and wished that he could be back on Abydos when things were perfect. My god, it smells like Sha're.
"Daniel, Daniel, Daniel!" Q laughed. "He's very cute, Picard, where did you pick him up again? Oh, the locator beacon won't help. They'll never look for you this far away."
After trying to contact the Enterprise with no response, Captain Picard turned to Q. "Stop this foolishness, Q! Return us to the Enterprise."
Daniel looked up from the scarf wrapped around his neck, but still held it in his hand. Q looked at him, and then at Captain Picard. "At least Daniel appreciates me. Petulance does not become you, Picard. We have business."
"Keeping me prisoner will not force me to discuss anything with you!" Picard said.
"But it will," Q objected. "In time. So how long do you want to stay out here? Years? Decades? I am ageless, Picard. You and Daniel are not." Captain Picard ignored Q and tried to power up the shuttle a few times, but it didn't work. Daniel sank down onto one of the bench seats in the back of the shuttle, staring at his costume, mind working. Working hard.
"Q," he said, looking up.
Q grinned at him and slid over in the shuttle to sit next to him. "Oh, Daniel! Daniel!" he said, grasping his arm with both hands like a small child. "You recognize my powers for what they are! Something Picard can never do. You know what gods can be like."
"I won't bother asking you how you know about this," Daniel said, choosing with an effort to ignore his last comment. "But you obviously have great… abilities."
"Powers, abilities, it's all the same no matter how you paint it, isn't it?" Q asked. "You're going to ask me for something now, aren't you?" He scooted a little closer to Daniel, though Daniel hadn't thought that exactly possible. "One wish, Daniel, one wish." He held a finger up and gazed intently at Daniel with a grin unsettling enough to make Daniel rethink his strategy.
"You're not a genie in a bottle, Q!" the captain snapped from the front seat. "Doctor Jackson, do not listen to anything he says. He enjoys toying with Humans. Everything is a game to him."
Sounded familiar, Daniel thought. Toying with Humans.
"No, Picard, you're not speaking in a language that he understands," Q pouted on Daniel's behalf. "I've never killed anyone, Daniel. No, not like back home." He closed his eyes. "Remember?"
Suddenly Daniel was not on the shuttlecraft anymore, but in a tent in the desert. On Abydos. Sha're. Daniel closed his eyes but still saw himself, Amaunet, the orange glow of the kara kesh that had almost killed him. The white bolt of the Teal'c's staff weapon that had. But he was past that. It had been at least six months, hadn't it? Eight? Sometimes it seemed like yesterday…
"That was mean of me," Q admitted. Daniel found himself back in the shuttle again, his hands raked through his hair. Captain Picard was trying to contact the Enterprise again, and Q commented, "You are an impossibly stubborn Human. If I return you to your ship, will you agree to give me a full hearing? And you and I… have much talking to do, Daniel."
Daniel shook his head.
Q ignored that and turned to the captain. "Well, Picard?"
Daniel watched Captain Picard for any hint of a response. When he nodded ever so slightly—
Q snapped, and the three of them were sitting in Ten Forward with drinks on the table before them, and Guinan, the bartender, standing next to them. "You're right, Picard, this is a much better venue for talking." Then he snapped to look at Guinan. "You!"
"None other," Guinan said, like an accusation, and took Daniel by the arm, dragging him from the table and putting him behind her.
"Picard!" Q said urgently, turning to the captain. "If you had any sense, you would get her off your ship immediately." Then he raised one of his hands as though to snap. "And I would be more than pleased to expedite her departure." Then he snapped anyway and Daniel was standing next to him. Daniel staggered back into the wall from the sudden change in location, having had just about enough.
As Captain Picard turned to Guinan, obviously about to say something, Daniel said, "Stop!"
In surprise, Q, Captain Picard, and Guinan all turned to look at Daniel. "You shouted at me," Q said, seeming hurt. "Picard never shouted at me like that. And when I could have done so much for you." He snapped again and Sha're was standing next to Q.
"Daniél?" she asked, confused, edging away from him.
Daniel laughed, his mind a mix of nerves and rage. "Stop," he ordered, trying to keep his voice level. Please, stop.
"What do you want, Q?" Picard demanded.
Q sighed and smiled at each of them in turn before snapping Sha're away again. Daniel slid down the wall a bit at the sight. Just like that, a snap, and she was gone. Happened a lot. "Ah, you're right," Q said. "She is distracting us from my purpose here."
"And that is?" Commander Riker had walked in, flanked by Worf, with a phaser, and Teal'c, with his staff weapon.
"Daniel Jackson," he said in a mildly concerned tone.
"The redoubtable Commander Riker!" Q announced, making a show of his pleasure. "And micro-brain! I see you have a friend. Hello, Teal'c. You're smarter than he is, you know." Worf bared his teeth and growled. Q turned to Captain Picard. "My purpose? To join you!"
"To join us?" Riker repeated.
"As what?" Captain Picard asked.
Q motioned to the red and black uniform he was wearing. "As a member of the crew! This ship is already a home for the unwanted, the unworthy, and the homeless," he said, looking at Guinan, Worf, and Daniel in turn. "Why not me, too?"
"So you were kicked out of the Q Continuum?" Riker guessed.
"Some Q are almost respectable; not like this one," Guinan explained.
"Join us to do what?" Captain Picard questioned. "Would you start as an ordinary crewman? What task is too menial for one such as you?"
Q just smiled at the captain and then at Riker. "Let me present my argument. After our last encounter, I was asked to leave the Continuum. Since then I've been wandering, bored, without a purpose. Then I remembered to good times we had together and I heard that you had new friends on board. And the more I think about it, the more I realize I want to join you, since none of you will join me," he added, looking squarely at Riker and then at Daniel. "This is where I want to be. If necessary, I will even renounce all my powers and become as weak and incompetent as all of you," he finished with a smile, and waited for the verdict.
He didn't have to wait long. "No," Captain Picard said.
"Oh, Captain! I add a little excitement, a little spice to your lives and this is how you repay me. And you," he added, looking at Daniel. He hadn't realized it, but he'd been looking where Sha're had been standing only a moment ago. He snapped to look at Q. "You're just as ungrateful," he accused.
"We don't trust you," Captain Picard explained, goading a laugh from Q.
"Oh, that may be true, but you do need me. You're not prepared for what awaits you."
"I don't know that we are prepared," Captain Picard said with great dignity and finality. "But we are ready to confront that possibility."
Q laughed and looked at Guinan as though sharing a secret with a friend. "Oh, the arrogance. They don't have a clue what's out there." Then he looked at Daniel. "Tell, them, Danny-boy. Tell them what awaits them. You've met things better and ten times worse, haven't you?"
Daniel shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." He heard the faint squeak of a spider-like mechanical creature crawling across the ceiling and looked up, but saw nothing. The word raced through his mind, Replicator, before he could stop it. Their newest foe in their universe, impossible to stop by all calculations. When he looked back, Q was smiling. "Better? Or ten times worse, do you think?"
Q turned to the captain. "You judge yourselves by the pitiful adversaries you have so far encountered. The Kingons. The Romulans. They're nothing compared to what's waiting."
"We are not arrogant," Captain Picard insisted. "We are resolute and willing. But more than that, we are determined. Your help is not required."
"Let's see about that, then." Q snapped, Guinan objected. A brilliant flash of light, and Q was gone. And so were they.