Of Gunshots and Sorrow
Chapter 17
So This Is Home
AN:/
Moody1656: First of all I know the setting is supposed to be an island, but for this story's sake just ignore it and enjoy the story for what it is. Secondly, I tried to make this as realistic as possible, but if some parts are off please let me know through a constructive review. Thanks for all the reviews guys! I love all your support and hope I won't disappoint you with this chapter. So, go on and read!
Fuu hugged herself as a cold breeze hit her. Her eyes were tired and her tongue was dry. Mugen had decided that it would be best to leave earlier that morning than usual, 5 AM to be exact. Needless to say, she was exhausted.
While she tried to keep herself awake, Mugen walked steadily ahead on the road. The road was barren, old, and dark. They had been walking through a road in an empty road that ran through a dry field of grass and dirt for some time now. They were getting closer to civilization though, now. Electric wires and poles were the only things that decorated the blacktop, there was a sign quite a ways ahead that he was trying to make out. Some of the letters on the sign were worn out and no longer visible.
They were getting closer and closer to the next city or town they would be staying at for probably a few days. The cash he'd stolen wasn't gone yet but he knew they'd have to get on a bus soon. If he knew around where they were at the moment, he knew that desert area was going to come up next. There was no way he'd be able to stand the girl's complaining if they walked through that.
His feet dragged to a stop.
Fuu blinked quickly and yawned. She scratched her cheek before looking at his face. He was looking at a house with dark narrowed eyes. "Mugen? Is everything ok?"
He shrugged and turned back to face the road before moving forward again. "Yeah. Just smelled some meat. I'm fucking starving."
Fuu nodded, "Yeah me too." As she and Momo continued following his lead, hopefully to a McDonald's or something, a sign showing the city's name finally came into view.
Welcome to Ryukyu
Enjoy Your Visit
The further and further in they got in the city the closer Fuu got to Mugen. They'd passed two gas stations and an evicted Wendy's but other than that they hadn't found anywhere to eat at yet. However, as they walked more and more thugs appeared. There were people speaking to themselves or some imaginary creature who stared at them suspiciously. Guns were clearly seen poking out of jackets, being loaded, or being aimed at a person or general direction.
After the first two blocks Fuu decided to look at the street signs to find out what city they were in. Once she learned where they were she felt herself fold in on herself. Her breathing was quicker and her need to be near Mugen grew. Flashes—Images—No, memories of Mukuro's gang, and more specifically the man himself, invaded her thoughts and gripped her heart.
She was terrified.
Mugen, having noticed the small cues that showed she was scared, put his hand on her hip and pulled her next to him. He glared at a few men, and some women, who leered at her. He was thankful she seemed to calm down at his touch, but to make sure she would stay calm—and also to maybe ward off some of the perverts from his home town by keeping up appearances—he put his lips to her ear. He whispered evenly, "If 'ya dont say anything stupid they won't bother 'ya. 'Sides I'm here, so calm down." She took in a deep breath before he noticed her body fully relax against his hold.
After a few minutes they finally managed to track down a fast food place, right as they were both starting to contemplate just going to a liquor store and buying nachos or something. Once they found a place to sit at and got their food they, meaning Fuu, started to talk about where they would stay.
"I think we should keep moving," He finally added his two cents when he finished his first burger. "I mean, it's pretty obvious you're not comfortable here and there's no reason fer me ta be listenin' to ya complain."
"I won't complain, then." She scoffed. "Look we've been walking for hours, I'm not exactly eager to keep walking. So I think it's fine if we stay. Even if it has to be a few days."
He raised a brow at that, "Ya sure?"
Fuu nodded calmly, she then handed a clean piece of chicken to Momo who sat patiently under the table. "I don't see any harm." She glanced at the people around them, "You're right, with you around everything will be fine. I mean, some of the people here even seem scared of you."
His lip curved up in a smirk, he breathed out a light chuckle. "It ain't me they're scared of," He explained raising a hand to display the blue tattoos along his wrist and forearm. "It's the ink."
She gave him a confused look, or rather his arm. "Now that you mention it you never told me why you got them, or what they mean or whatever. What, were you in some crazy powerful gang or something?"
He rolled his eyes and laughed, "More like something." He took a huge bite of his burger and began his explanation, rather eloquently considering the amount of food in his mouth. "I'm from these parts. I got these a while back when I spent a couple months in jail." Her eyes widened as he began to explain, "Guess I shot some fuckin' lord or somethin'. Whatever, I'd done worse before so I didn't get what the big deal was. He was asking for some lead. He was supposed to be buying some hash from me, back when I worked with Mukuro, but dude kept going around saying shit like 'I'm a very important guy, you know'. I told him I didn't know, shot him, and took his cash."
"Wait, so how do they," She pointed at the people in the small eating establishment, "know that you were in jail?"
He gulped down the remainder of meat in his mouth, "It's a specialty in the Ryukyu prison. Everyone who's been has these rings on them."
She looked around the place contemplatively. She only saw one other person with the same tattoos as Mugen and the guy looked like any stories he had were beaten out of his skull a long time ago. Guy looked like he'd been drugged up so much he no longer had a functioning brain. "So it's not that normal for people here to be locked up there?"
Mugen shrugged, "Guess not. Ryukyu prison is more for like serious crimes. Like murder and stuff like that."
Fuu didn't know what to say now, "Oh."
"That doesn't mean some of the block heads around here are anything to laugh about. Most o' them have just never been caught. You don't usually get caught in Ryukyu since crime's so high. When ya do it's usually cause some serious shit went down. Cops gave up a long time ago." He went on eating as she stiffened. Her expression was priceless, actually. She looked like a piece of wood, just stuck sitting upright with her head bowed trying to avoid eye contact with anyone around.
Seeing her like that made Mugen wonder if this was the last thing she needed to hear before she lost faith in him. On the one hand, it made him glad to know she'd finally get a wake up call. But on the other, her no longer trusting him was a bit too much for him to swallow. After all, he'd just begun to admit to himself that he did like having her around and wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. In a way, Mugen felt he'd finally met a girl that he didn't just want to have in bed one night and forget her the next morning. He even began to think she'd want to stick around him as well.
"So you're from around here?" Fuu broke the silence that hung between them once he'd finished his burger. She didn't wait for his answer. "Does that mean you lived in Ryukyu or around Ryukyu, as in a town over?"
He leaned back in his seat, tired from eating five burgers (Fuu had three, an order of chicken strips, a large milkshake, a large soda, two orders of large fries, and three cookies). "First one," He said before he tried to pick meat out of his teeth.
The next thing that Fuu said almost made him bite his finger off from the shock. It was something he had thought of earlier but discarded since it would be stupid for him to dwell on the past. However, that's exactly where Fuu always wanted to go. "Maybe your sister's still here," Her doe eyes watched him carefully and therefore saw his eyes widen, his teeth smash together, and him struggle with his finger after he'd gotten it out of his mouth.
"Yeah so?" he snapped angrily.
"Don't you want to see her again?" Fuu's question sounded so imploring and demanding that Mugen could only glare at her. "If she's—"
"Still alive?"
She glared at him in return. "Well yeah, but I was going to say: if she's still here why should you waste an opportunity like this?" He rolled his eyes only causing her to get angry. "Look, I know that you took care of Hino because she reminded you of your sister." His glare intensified. "And from how I've seen you react when her name is mentioned, like just now, I know you must still care about your real sister. Probably a lot more than you let on."
He sighed and chuckled lightly at her little speech. She just got angry at his reaction, "What?"
"You're such a girl," he laughed. She only continued to glare at him.
"Let's just worry about finding a place to sleep for now," Mugen finalized the fact that the previous subject was over now.
"But—"
He looked down at her and rolled his eyes, "Look we've got bigger things 'ta worry about. So let's go, yeah?"
With a sigh and mopy look on her face she got up and pat her thigh to signal Momo to follow.
- 17 - - 17 - - 17 - - 17 -
Mugen found a crappy motel where they could spend the night, mainly because any other place they could take in the city was already taken and turned into a crack house. As soon as they entered the room, just as he had predicted, Fuu freaked out due to the stains in the sheets.
So, currently, instead of how they usually slept, Fuu was laying on top of him. Needless to say they were both having a hard time falling asleep.
His arms were crossed comfortably behind his head as he stared up at the ceilings' interesting stains. Some were more than questionable. Fuu was trying her best not to move and force herself to sleep. Neither were successful. Both for similar yet different reasons. Fuu was unsure of what to do in that situation, though she has very tempted to run her hands all over his amazing abs. Mugen, on the other hand, was concentrating on not letting his recently discovered feelings for the brunette cause him to run his hands all over her huge ass as he took her v-card on the stained sheets.
Fuu was biting her lips trying to move her thoughts in a different direction. "What was her name?" She knew he didn't want her to bring up his sister again but the only other thing that came to mind at that moment didn't involve many words.
He visibly stiffened, but before long he let himself sigh. "Look I didn't even talk to Hino about her much. I'm not about to revisit my past."
The room was silent as Fuu tried to stay as quite as possible to not get him angry.
This did the opposite effect.
Mugen rolled his eyes, put his hands on her waist, and sat up with her—keeping her between his legs. "You're never gonna drop it, huh?" This came out as a low growl more than a question. "Her name's Saiai."
"That's pretty," Fuu commented quietly.
"Yeah, well, she was the baby," He chuckled, an almost smile-like smirk on his face. It had a warming effect, Fuu noted. "There were five of us. I had two older sisters, a younger brother, and then there was Saiai." He shook his head with a sarcastic smile, looking Fuu straight in the eyes. "My older sisters became whores, ironically." Fuu could tell the thought made him angry. "The eldest, Ayame, was shot at a brothel while she was fucking some dude. The dip shit's wife found out what he liked to do on Friday nights and wasn't too happy. After that my other sister just left.
"Didn't even show up for Ayame's funeral. Old lady fucking starved herself to death after that. By that point I was a good ten years old I think.
"The house was fucked up as hell. Ugliest damn place in all of Ryukyu." He raised a brow at Fuu, "You get what I'm saying?"
Fuu, in fact, didn't understand. But she knew all of this had been bothering him for years now. She wanted him to get all of the shit that was building up in his heart out. So she put her hands on his hips and moved a quarter inch closer, "Keep going."
Mugen almost laughed right then but instead of telling her he'd do what he pleased he placed his forehead on the small and stupidly innocent thing in his hold. His voice got lower now that he was so close, "Dad became an alcoholic and didn't do jack shit to get food in the refrigerator. Fucking cooze lost it after our mom left too. So one day I decide to look for some work. Stupid kid like me didn't think for once that this was Ryukyu and the only profitable business was selling hash. I went around doing odd jobs for people, 'til one day one of those jobs was moving a crate from one end of town to the other. Then they hired me again, and again, and again.
"Gave me a gun and all that shit. I didn't care. Hell, all I knew was I was making bank. Then the old bastard started beating us." His eyes closed then. "I made Saiai and Genji stay in their rooms everyday until I'd get back home. I'd get beat when I'd get back home twice as bad—three times—ten times; dickhead was pissed off. Every time I'd just take it get back up when the douche tired himself out, gave him fifty bucks then took dinner back to the kids. Went on like that for years. Then Genji decided to start helping when he turned 11, I was 13 by then.
"The moron found a way to bust the door open, became a functioning alcoholic and shit. We got home and found her near dead in the living room and the fucker was passed out on the couch with his pants off." He paused and started breathing harshly through his nose.
Fuu's eyes were watering now, "You can stop. You don't have to keep going."
His eyes slowly opened and he noticed the tears on her face. He tried to force a small smirk on his face, "Can't have you crying, can I? I need to get to the happy ending."
"Mugen, I'm sorry I got you started. I don't want you to have to go through everything all over again, just stop."
They stared into each other's eyes for a long time before he whispered, "We got her cleaned up. Figured out a way to keep her safe while we weren't home. The only reason we never left the guy was because each night we'd see him staring at an old picture of us, all of us, together. Some stupid sappy shit kept us there. So every day before Genji and I'd leave to go dealing we'd drop Saiai off at this one whore's place. Well ex-whore I guess, she wasn't in the game for years. But she'd kept Ayame out o'trouble before she was killed, so we trusted her.
"Genji ended up getting shot in the leg during one of our jobs and was out of work. Stuck in a wheelchair, all because I'd let him follow the same path I did. So I worked twice as hard while they stayed at the whore's place during the day, then we'd get back home.
"One night I wake up and the old fucker is watching me as I sleep. I was getting ready to tell him to shove off when he fucking knocked me out. Next thing I know I'm outside on the streets of Ryukyu." His jaw tightens and then his sarcastic laughter comes out from his lips again. "I ran like an idiot back to the house, I search it as carefully as I can, but they were all gone. Everything was gone. The money I'd had saved up, the food even, all my crap as well as theirs, and them. Not a bottle of beer to let anyone know someone fucking lived there before.
"I go to the whore's place to see if Genji or Saiai tried to leave on their own, but she only slammed the door in my face and told me to never get near her again. I lost them." His voice broke slightly. "It was all my fucking fault too. I knew I should've left with them years before but I didn't do anything 'til I was 15, homeless, penniless, and clueless.
"Tried for months to find anything about them. Then I found Hino looking for food in a garbage can on the Eastern end of Ryukyu. She looked just as lost and pathetic as I did so I told her I'd take care of her. She was 11 when I found her, Saiai's birthday was a week before that so she should've been the same age. So for some dumb reason I thought it was making up for not being able to save Saiai by taking care of Hino. Then Mukuro..." He stopped and his eyes widened abruptly.
Fuu was immediately shocked by his reaction and looked up at him in concern, "What? What's wrong?"
His eyes darkened and he pulled his hands back from her. His eyes watched her warily, to anyone else it would look like Mugen was ready to kill her but Fuu knew that he was currently panicking. Not too late she realized why. Her hands shot out and grabbed his, "Stop. Don't start thinking like that you moron! You did everything you could back then!" The fear in his eyes was still there, she knew the source was Mukuro too. "Please stop, Mugen. Look, you've done it. I'm still here."
Mugen's mouth started to open but she knew what he was likely to say and pulled his right hand to land where her heart was. She could feel him trembling. "I'm here," she whispered, trying to get him to get a grip. "You weren't there when Saiai got hurt, you couldn't have known. The same goes for Hino. You were doing all you could to keep them safe, and you faired better than anyone else in your place could have."
"No—"
"I know you think she's still alive." Fuu insisted, shocking him. "Earlier when we were eating and I mentioned her I could tell that you think she's alive. Otherwise you would have probably yelled at me to never mention her again or something." She looked down at the gross bed sheets then, dropping their hands slowly but not letting him pull back. "Hino probably lived longer than she would have alone because you found her. And," her voice got lower, "I'm still here."
"I almost let Mugen and Khoza kill you. Do you remember that?" He snapped angrily.
She turned her eyes to him and glared, "No you didn't! Not even close. Stop thinking that everything's your goddamn fault! If I can't do that than neither can you! You saved me in that alley, even when you knew that my step-father was looking for me you threatened him to go away while I hid. You defended me against your roommate even after you were both almost killed because of the men he sent. I would have died months ago! I should have!"
Mugen glared at her now, "Don't say that."
"It's the truth, you dumbass! You know it! You've told me countless times that I couldn't survive without you and it's the truth! Just like it was with Hino, Saiai, and Genji. Even your dad would have died without you! You're always there making sure nobody dies unfairly, that's just you!" Her shoulders shook abruptly and she broke down in tears. "Stop being so selfish! Let other people blame themselves too, you asshole. Cause I'm more responsible for pointless deaths than you are! I did nothing for my parents and I've almost seen you die numerous times just to save me. Stop blaming yourself for shit you're not doing, you moron!"
He was left to watch her as she cried. All cause of my dumb ass. Mugen knew everything, well minus the shit about her being the one responsible for all that shit, was true. It just pissed him off to know he couldn't do anything in the past. Hell, he knew—knew—that Saiai and Genji were still out there. He didn't know why, but he was sure his brother was still the little badass he'd trained even in a chair. They were probably on another continent by now, living it up happily.
But everything that had happened around him that he'd had no control over made him feel strangely exposed. Part of the reason why he never told anyone about his past. Well, that was before. Fuu knew just about everything about him now. Stupid bitch. He smiled down at the top of her head, before he pulled into his lap and against his chest.
She pulled back a little to look up at him, snot and tears. He chuckled and wiped her face clean, then wiped his hand off on the stupid sheets. "How the hell can you trust me so damn much? Even after all the shit you know I've done." Mugen smirked wrapping his arms securely around her, completely trapping her. "I know you sure didn't trust that boyfriend of yours as much."
Fuu shook her head, "No. I don't."
He chuckled darkly, "He seemed pretty willing to do whatever you wanted at the drop of a hat. How the hell can you trust someone unreliable over him?" To be honest he was asking himself more than her.
Her tone turned harsh. "I can expect you to hurt me, but he always made it seem like he couldn't."
"Then why?"
"Because he still did." Fuu craned her neck awkwardly to look up at him. "We were at a party one night and he got drunk. His mom had been getting worse at the time so he just kept drinking. I had to carry him to a room away from everybody so he wouldn't do something stupid." She paused for a moment and turned her head back down, she didn't want to look at Mugen for the rest of the story. "He tried to get me into bed. He wouldn't stop so I ran out and left him there. The next day he came over to my house saying sorry. I thought he meant about what he tried the night before but... The douche cheated on me." Mugen honestly didn't expect that with the way the guy had been drooling after her like a puppy. "So I broke up with him. A week later my mom got engaged to my step-dad and we left."
"I didn't know," He was trying to make up for making her say that.
She turned her eyes back to him and smiled, "I know."
"Man, we're both real pieces of work, aren't we?" He laughed, Fuu smiled brightly. She was glad he was being his old self again.
"You're not all that bad," She teased.
"Says you," They stared into each other's eyes before Mugen lowered his head even more and moved his hand from her waist to her neck. She pushed herself higher and pressed her lips on his. This kiss was softer and more calm than the ones they'd shared before. After the night they'd had so far, it felt right.
When they pulled apart a little later Fuu just smiled at him. He smirked in return and pulled her back to him again.
Once they were both finally content, several minutes later, he chuckled dryly. "What?"
"We're digging a bigger hole for ourselves, you know that, right?"
Her eyes dropped down and she smiled anxiously, "Yeah, I know." He pushed her chin up slightly to get her focus back up at him, she omething flash behind his eyes but it was too fast for her to pinpoint what was going on in his head. Ignoring it, she gave him a quick peck."I just can't make myself care."
Consequences be damned. He thought as he gently lowered himself and her down on the mattress once again. He sure as hell wasn't going to come out and tell her how he felt, but for now this was fine. With her in his arms he was sure he wasn't about to make the same mistake again. He'd keep her alive and unscathed.
He would never leave her.
AN:/
Moody1656: So half way through, this hit a wall. I was blocked for months! Literally. But, I actually like how it ended. Though I really never considered making Mugen ever talk about his sister. But I got really into it. Hahah so here we go!
Next Chapter:
Mugen growled and pulled him up by the collar into the wall. "Listen, here four eyes. You've been here for less than a day so shut your stupid arrogant mouth."
Jin narrowed his eyes dangerously, "You know I'm right, Mugen."
He smirked, "Like hell. You just got your life straight for once and now you think you can go around judging how I deal with mine? Well, I got news for you, no matter how fucked up I am my life's always been better off than yours. So keep yer nose outta my business."
His eyes stayed cold and calculating, showing Mugen he would not back down anytime soon. He growled again and slammed his fist into the thin man's stomach. Jin's eyes stayed the same even though he winced slightly. Mugen sighed in resignation, "Fuck off. I'm not gonna hurt the brat. I know even if everything turns out good and the cops don't get a trace of me that I still can't have her. She's too clean for some fucking ex-drug dealer like me."
Jin lowered the intensity of his facial features and looked at Mugen with pity for the first time since he first met the man. "I'm not saying that, Mugen. If you actually care about her," He left out the added thought of Like I can tell you do...
Moody1656: Guess who's back? Review please! Cause things are about to get even better! ;D