Chapter 12: Fate
"Oh, well isn't this a pickle."
Q frowned at the closest "natural" Iconian gateway he'd found. It was quite a pickle. The Continuum had declined to let him make a new one—an infinitely more convenient endeavor—and now Q was stuck with the fact that he prided himself on keeping his arrangements. Prided himself on twisting the fabric of the galaxy to his own whims and now he had to figure a way to do it oh-so-cleverly without raising too many eyebrows at the Continuum.
No amount of politicking would change their minds, Q thought grumpily. They were just as ready for the Iconians to die out and be forgotten as anyone. Of course, the appearance of the visitors had done nothing for that. People were interested now; the Federation was interested… at least for the time being. They would soon be distracted. Q thought the Continuum might just blink away the four intruders, but they weren't doing that probably for more reason than one. The Continuum's secret might be safe if they stayed. Daniel wasn't that good.
Q-too, who had tagged along with him much to Q's annoyance, laughed gleefully and leaned back in an invisible chair in the void Q was standing in over the planet Vandros IV. Of course, the only remaining "naturally-occurring" Iconian gateway would be all the way out here in the boonies.
"Stop being a pouty-face, Q. You'd think with unlimited power over the cosmos and space and time, you might be a little happier."
"But I'm not happy," Q said to Q-too. "I said I always keep my agreements. Danny-boy would be heartbroken if I left him out in the cold..."
Not to mention that there were just so many things out-of-place, now. Granted, it was new and exciting and there was precious little in the universe new and exciting to him now. He could mess with the minds of all the little mortals he pleased, but even that was losing its ability to amuse him.
"That's what you get for making agreements. And hanging out with Humans. Really, Q, will you ever learn?"
Q let the moment hang between them, thinking perhaps he ought to get some enjoyment out of Q-too. He'd been annoying enough, so it was only fair, wasn't it? Then he smiled at Q-too. "No. Of course, I won't." Then he sighed. "Of course, my problem here is that the Federation won't discover this planet for another couple hundred years at least."
"Oh, at least," Q-too agreed with a nod. Then he bolted up from this non-existent chair. "You're not going to toss them halfway across the galaxy in the other direction, are you? If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times... do not provoke the Founders. Be careful, Q. Be very careful."
"Don't worry. The Enterprise isn't going anywhere. I always keep my arrangements." Then Q hesitated and laughed. "But, then again, I don't. Almost never, come to think of it. Besides, our dear visitors from another reality have since bid mon capitán farewell." He laughed and then frowned at himself. But he had to keep his agreement this time. Without his help, the fate of two universes would be drastically different.
Not that it was his fault. No, leave it to the Vulcans to rip a hole in the fabric of two universes in one fell swoop. Who would have known such disastrous consequences would come from a simple experiment two hundred years ago?
"Exactly," Q-too agreed. "No need to lose sleep over it." Q-too pulled a triple-axel in space for no reason and ended with a flourish. "I'm bored. Isn't there some barely-sentient species out there we can go play tricks on? They're the most fun. They never remember."
"No!" Q objected. "No! There's no time! There are arrangements to be made." He raised his hand to snap but Q-too shoved his hand in his face, effectively distracting him. "What is wrong with you!" Q asked, batting the offending appendage away.
"I'm bored," Q-too answered.
"Well, you can help me find some disillusioned Jem'Hadar, then," Q suggested. "I think that's a good idea, don't you?"
"You're not going to..." Q-too frowned seriously and pointed at Q. "You're not... are you? They're as ready for that as they are for the Borg. You like introducing ridiculous threats to the Federation, don't you?"
"Oh, they're not a threat," Q insisted. "Not really. I mean, they'll win, won't they? Actually. Yes. I do, I really do. You have no idea how exciting it is. They're so small, but they think they control so much. It is quite like watching…" Q frowned, unable for the moment to come up with an apt simile. "I don't know. Perhaps like watching the beach attempt to hold back the tide." Then he smiled. "That would make me the moon, wouldn't it?"
"Uh-huh..." Q-too pondered. "How considerate of you. You know, this will be the end of the Federation as you know it. Probably the end of humanity. Wouldn't that be a trip? And then what will you do for entertainment?"
Q smiled wistfully and decided now was the perfect time to quote one of his dear friends... even though he'd declined the invitation to be Q, too. "Ah, but fate. Protects fools, little children, and ships called Enterprise. As long as the Enterprise is the flagship of the Federation, it will never be truly defeated."
"You put a lot of stock in fate," Q-too observed.
"Oh... well, that's easy when you have so much control over it. Don't you agree?" Q-too shrugged and nodded as though he agreed, tentatively. Q grinned and raised his hand to snap once more. "You will join me, of course?"
Q-too considered, then raised his own hand. He probably had nothing better to do. Snap.
"Magnets!" Jack announced.
Sam and Daniel exchanged a smile, and Jack smirked to himself. Of course, magnets were the answer to everything, in Jack's eyes. Daniel doubted that Sam's problem with figuring out some weaponry for the Federation against the Borg would be solved with magnets.
"Well, I know that you'll figure out something," Daniel said encouragingly. "What did they think about the hyperdrive technology?"
"They thought it was very interesting and we might pursue it after we figure out what to do with the weapons that can fight the... wait... did Colonel O'Neill say 'magnets,' Daniel?"
"Well, yeah. Doesn't he always?" Daniel asked.
Sam laughed, and reached offscreen for a PADD, which she began tapping into furiously. "That's actually a really great idea."
"I knew it," Jack said from behind him. "Magnets, Daniel. Magnets."
"What is?"
"Magnets," Sam explained. "We've been trying to figure out how to propel something like a bullet into a Borg ship without using their typical propellants. It's the equivalent of using F18s instead of shot, it's just too hard, takes too long, and is way too expensive—materials-wise—to produce it."
"You mean you don't want to use forty-million-dollar bullets?" Jack asked.
"That's the general idea, yes," Sam answered. "I don't know why I didn't think about this before. Because of the way matter works in space—the conservation of motion—magnets would be perfect. We can literally throw rocks at them."
Jack and Daniel exchanged glances. Yeah. Jack didn't know what she was talking about either. "Sounds great," Daniel said, going on in a hurry, "Hey, have you heard from Teal'c?"
"No..." Sam sighed. "No, not a word. Not since he told me that he was leaving the Enterprise to go to Bajor. I'm kind of worried about him..."
Daniel sighed and then Jack offered, "Nah. He's a big, scary guy. No need to worry about him. He'll be running circles around those Cardies. For a free Bajor!"
Sam shook her head and smiled. "Well, I'm sorry, but I've got to work on my magnets. This is going to be perfect. We'll call them O'Neill guns or something."
"Thank you, thank you. It was my pleasure. I'll be here all day. All week. All year."
Sam laughed a little. "I take it you've had no luck with the Iconian gateways?"
"Not really..." Daniel sighed. "But I think I might have found a lead maybe. It will take about three months to get there though."
"I feel like I'm just running around in circles with these sensor readings," Sam agreed. "Not even anyone here knows what to make of them." She hesitated and then asked, "Any word from Q?"
"Not a single word..." Daniel sighed. "I don't think I thought he would keep his promise anyway. He likes to... mess with people's heads. Sure did a number on mine, I guess... Well, I don't want to keep you from your magnets. I'll keep looking for those gateways, and Jack will see if he can find Teal'c..."
"I will?" Jack asked, and then revised, "I will!"
Sam smiled. "It's good to talk to you guys. Shouldn't be much longer before I can get out of here. I mean... this is great work, but... not the same."
"I know what you mean," Daniel agreed. He tapped the console in front of him, and then said, "Talk to you later, Sam."
"Later, Daniel."
Jack waved over Daniel's head just before Sam's image blinked away. "Sayonara."