So I'm back. I actually finished this a while ago, but I've been babysitting, and so... not much else gets done when the kids are getting into things. Priorities sometimes :) Thanks for your patience!

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.

I'm in the car with Mom. She's tense and I know why.

I mean, I've never been in love with someone to have them leave, or have them hate me. I do have a boyfriend, Connor. He's awesome and all. I'm reserved and I spend a lot of time in my head, and he's mindful of that. But what my parents went through, I never want to see that.
I never want to feel that. It's too heart wrenching.

She and dad had a pretty intense stare down. And you could just feel the years and years of pent up emotions making it tense.

We got to her apartment and went on in.

"Are you done unpacking yet?" she asked. I shook my head.

"I've been at Dad's."
"Excuses," she shook her head. Mom had taken me back to Israel. Just for a few weeks. My great aunt Nettie passed away. I was slightly suprised she wanted to go back for the funeral. She didn't go to Schmiel's funeral.

Actually, it was Schmiel's wish that she come back to the states. His health was fading fast, and he'd told mom that "Dinotzzo needed to be part of her life."

And so she brought me here. Schmiel's dying wish. But I know
that Schmiel also knew mom needed dad. He was a smart smart man. Things just never connected. Things went pretty badly. Things are now very bad.

With the slightest possibility that they could finally get better if they'd just talk.

I think the last time they seriously talked was the day he left her on the tarmac.

They've argued for hours since then. They've decided that words on a computer screen is the only way.

But after that glare, gaze, come on. There are a whole lot of feelings left. Maybe some of anger but a whole lot of passion.

"Alright. What's going on?" Mom said.

"Huh?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. She's not dumb. The question is, how do I lie to her?
"Well, Gibbs and I were talking about Emily."

"Emily Fornell?"

"Yeah, the cryptologist."

She rolled her eyes. "What about your father? "

"I have absolutely no explanation for his actions what so ever."

"Are you sure?"

"I think I might have left one of my piano books at his apartment, he may have been trying to find out if I needed it."

"Wouldn't he call you for that?"

"Not if my phone was dead."

She looked unsatisfied; she was a criminal investigator for 8 years. Of course she should recognize when she's being lied to. But shes had 16 years out of the job and I'm a damn good liar.

"If I find out you're lying to me, I will have your leg."

"Mom, its I'll have your butt. Seriously, that's a low even for you. You haven't messed up an English phrase in weeks!"

So sometimes Mom and I don't get along. I am her, down to her damn widow's peak. Connor likes it, but that's beside the point. But sometimes she gets to me, and AGH she kills me. Traveling around the Middle East with her was more than I could take. And
I love my mom, and I love how brave she is, and I love her for her strength through everything she's had to go through. But sometimes.

You know, like finally having the love of your life admit his feelings for you and then making him leave.

Or having a daughter with said man and never speaking.

Or also letting him block her out.

I have this picture on my phone of her, Ari, and Tali. I just stare at it for hours when I'm feeling ungrateful. I remind myself of who Ari was and what he did. I remind myself of who Tali never got to be.

And I don't look at mom and see a disappointment. She's done some amazing things in her life. But more or less, I see a woman who is disappointed in herself. And its just not cool. Its not fair.

I'm tired of that. It's really time for her to feel worthy again.

So the next afternoon when we were eating dinner and her phone rang because dad was calling, and she tried to hand it to me, I said, "No mom. You answer it. He wants to talk to you, not me."