A/n: Hey, I hope this makes up for the lack of presence. Reviews and
24th November 2014, 13:22pm.
Mallory Lyra Moon was born exactly 1 year ago, Ally thought. The petite brunette laughed bitterly at the jokes people made about Mallory, well she did know Mallory meant "Unfortunate", she should've seen it coming. She misses the playful, but annoying jokes now.
But on the other hand, Blondie insisted there should be a musical theme to her and lo behold, Lyra, meaning "Harp" or "Lyre" and coincidentally is also the name of a constellation, which was she called Mallory her little star.
Mrs. Moon, who was looking through photographs and clutching a bundle of pink and was wondering about where her daughter's name was derived from, knew her fallen husband wasn't doing so well either.
You could hear the grief-stricken man softly singing in the nursery, in the same position he was last night. But he fought the paramedics; with all the strength he had left but only was beaten by their pity, who, in his words: "stole" Mallory away from him. He insisted he stayed where he was, and that was that.
"Close your eyes, sleep tight, I will fight the monsters in the night." You could hear that on repeat, the sobs in between each syllable, and the sniffling nose that follows. Grief and heartbreak poured out of his voice like a waterfall. The lullaby soon was reduced to him mouthing every other word.
3 knocks were heard, one slow then two that followed each other like two quavers. That must be my wife, he thought.
"Hey." She opens the door and a little creak follows her entrance, and then she looks at her broken husband. She looks at the pink mirror and gasps at her reflection, barely seeing it through the dark room, only just bright enough as a sliver of light escaped through the thick curtains.
"You still look beautiful, everyday. I'm so lucky." She smiles as he whispers while still frowning at when she was horrified at herself, then looking up into the mirror and half smiling. She smiles back, crouching downwards and kissing the messy mop of blonde and muttering.
"I love you." Her words were whispered, but loud enough so he could hear them. Those three words echoed in his ears.
"Me too. Well I love you, not me. Well you know what I mean Alls." He sighs and laughs, his voice cracks, the evidence of a worn-out heart. His bitter laugh only provoked more tears.
"I wish…" Ally didn't want to finish that sentence because her eyes were blurring with salty tears already she tried to wipe them away, but she didn't want to wipe them with what she was holding.
"Shh…" He whispered, bringing his equally emotionally-wracked wife down to his level and laying her head on his lap, his hand stroking the gentle strands of hair that his late daughter had received from her equally as amazing mother. "Me too Alls, me too."
"I had one shot Aus. One shot. I blew it. I was such a bad mo-" She bit her lip, which started to bleed. You could tell that was the least of her sorrows. Her plump, pale pink lips were soaked in the metallic-tasting blood, the red liquid soaking itself into her lips into little branch shapes.
"Ally, no. Don't say that please. You didn't know it would happen." Austin's eyes creased as he looked down to his wife's equally damp eyes. He sighs and pulls out a dog-eared picture of himself, Ally, who was on her 7 month of pregnancy, and Mallory, who technically wasn't really there yet. But who cares? "Look. You and I. That was us, last September." Austin smiled, bitterly as he blinked, Ally had taken the photo away from the owner's hands. She holds it to her chest as she curls up into a fetus.
"It's her birthday today." Ally's words silenced the little joy that was left. "She would've been one today." She started to sobs between her words. Her lip was no longer in pain but her heart is. "We were going to throw a party for her." She squeezes her hand, not noticing it's almost as pink as, well see for yourself.
"She would've worn her pink dress." Austin regretted those words as he lay his eyes upon Ally's hands, which held the pink, cloud-like frock which their daughter was due to wear in less than an hour. He realised that was what his wife had in her possession. He studies the glitter, on the little ballerina style dress and smiles weakly.
There was a silence. She abruptly sat up, her eyes widened.
"Aus. Oh god." Ally realised that no one had cancelled the birthday party.
"What?" Austin's eyes grew as he heard those words fly out of her mouth. "Oh no." It dawned on him, all at once. "The party." He brought a hand to his chapped lips and drew out a shaky sigh.
They forgot to cancel the party.
The one Ally had planned for months.
The one where Mallory should've spent her first year on this Earth with everyone she loved.
September 24th, 09:26pm
"AUSTIN MONICA MOON!"
Oh dear. That sounds like my wife, the 21 year old male thought. Austin learned, if she used his whole name, he was on the deep end of the pool.
"Yes Alls?" You could feel the vibrations of the monster-like stomps coming down the stairs. Oh yes. Ally is DEFINITELY capable of scaring her husband. "Ahaha… You look lovely." He laughs nervously, as he comes face to face with his beloved, red faced, but with the adorable scrunched up nose. She could only go so red, Austin thought.
"Where are they?" Ally calmly said. That was not a good sign, he thought. I am on thin ice. Oh god.
"Ahaha… Your pickles? They're uhh…" His petrified eyes dart around the room, looking around, and then catching sight of his beautiful daughter.
He gazed at his innocent child holding the handmade dusty pink, (yes, dusty pink as Ally had given him a lecture on types of pink) butterfly infested invitations that her mother ever so carefully handmade over the course of 5 hours. He laughs nervously, biting his lip. "Ahahahah…" He could feel his body trembling.
"Austin, you have 5 seconds to tell me otherwise we are not having s-" Ally soon stopped her "threat" and switched her glare from Austin to a horrified expression even "The Scream" couldn't compare itself to it. "Austin."
"Oh… I'm in a lot of trouble… heheheheh…" He scratches the back of his neck. He winces as his daughter rips one of the many invitations his wife made, and he softened at how Mallory was very amused at how nice rice paper butterflies tasted, her dark hazel orbs brightening with every savouring bite, her drool smudging the "cerulean" blue ink that contrasted the light fuchsia on the A6 piece of card.
"You are in deep trouble MONICA!" Well that was embarrassing.
"Did you just call me Monica?" Austin enquired, a smug smirk came to his face and one of his golden-bronze eyebrows went up slowly as Austin narrowed his eyes playfully, not taking his fuming wife's "threatening" behaviour seriously.
"Yes. YES I DID!" She pouted, putting her hands on her waist, challenging her husband, her eyes glaring and face going darker shades of red, her rich tresses bouncing.
"Well…" The rest of the devilish blonde's words were blurred as he suddenly leapt forward ungracefully towards his wife, and ran after her, laughing as if he wasn't watching his daughter tear those perfect invitations.
Ally, on the other hand was squealing and laughing like there was no tomorrow. You could feel how much in love they were, even if those invitations had to be posted today.
You could tell they weren't going to be posted today.
24th November 2014, 23:59pm.
Ally thought about the calls she made to the Moons, her and Austin's friends and Dawson family and sighed, exasperated at how fake they were. Ally repeated the same phrase when she called each person who was invited, luckily there weren't that many. The conversations were tedious after a while but still reopened the broken heart that would never heal. She couldn't bear it.
"Hi. Sorry, the party is cancelled." Ally's voice was hoarse and quiet, but she had to do it, everyone expected her to be strong.
"Aww, that's a shame Ally! Why?" The jovial voice through the phone was oblivious to the passing of the caller's little child that everyone adored.
"I'll tell you soon." The soon was whispered, but was still loud enough to pick up.
"Oh okay. I hope you and Austin and Mallory have a great day!" Mallory. Mallory wouldn't be having a great day.
"Okay thank you for understanding… See you later!" Ally knew they wouldn't understand.
It's like having your heart torn out of your chest, then the rich, red muscle being ripped apart in front of your eyes then dropped into the harsh depths of hell, while all the pieces crumbled whilst departing. Multiply it by 10. But it's still worse even then. Your very own child you've been waiting for ripped apart from your safe hands, not knowing you couldn't protect them enough. Ally was dreading the "It wasn't your fault" line over and over when the hearse has reached its destination.
"Okay Ally, bye!" At least the pity wasn't there… yet.
After each call, a new salty drop would drip down her cheek, and another piece of her would be left crumbled. But the less they know the better. She always tried to be positive and optimistic; I guess it was always her thing.
She wandered quietly and gently down the hallway, where Mallory had her first steps (but that's another story), and arrived at Mallory's room. She made the familiar knock on the oak wood door to console her silent husband who was screaming out emotions.
"Aus?" The devastated female tenderly took his fisted hand up into her own delicate palm and gingerly squeezed it. "Austin?" She tried again, but he wasn't responding. His limp body, curled into a ball was stuck on the same place he held on to his angelic daughter for dear life. "Austin. Come on." Ally bit her lip, trying to get her husband back and re-opened the harsh wound, unpicking the healed cut. "Well you can't just stay here." Ally tried to soothe her best friend, placing a hand on his back and kissing his cheek, which had some dark shadowing stubble growing.
"What can I do then?" Austin asked harshly, voice worn out and in pain. His were eyebrows giving away emotion while his was forehead creasing underneath his shaggy hair. The way his bottom lip was trembling was enough to make Ally cry again. "Come here." His face and voice softened as he saw his wife's change of expression.
So they sat together, clinging to each other's arms, bawling and wailing. His cries were louder than ever, trying to remove the pain that was everywhere in him.
"WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY DAUGHTER?" Ally howled, screaming her pain away. Her tears smudging her make-up, but she didn't care. "My beautiful little star." She whispered. She rocked herself back and forth on the carpet that was tear-stained. "My little star." She repeated it like a mantra "My beautiful, beautiful little star." Her lips wobbled, distorting her speech.
The stars shone through the gap between the curtains, illuminating the duo. The glow in the dark stars somehow made them smile, regardless of their tears and loss. They still had each other.
"I love you, my little star." Ally murmured through the darkness, placing a bunch of hair behind her ear.
"Me too, Mall." Austin replied as a big smile cracked on his face because he knows he truly loves his daughter, even if she isn't with him. "Happy 1st Birthday, my little star. Happy birthday." Austin closed his eyes, awaiting tears to squeeze out, but they never did.
Ally reached for the pink dress that was left on the cot, the glittering pieces reflecting light from the sliver of hope shining through the curtains. She held it close and smiled through all the pain she had been through. She got up and reached for Austin's hand. She pulled him, or tried to pull him, up and led him towards the window and they opened the curtains.
"I hope you had the best year ever, because you were my- our best year!" Ally shouted out the window that she opened only moments ago and grabbed Austin's hand as she corrected herself.
Austin knew he would never get through the bottomless pit of pain, but at least he has to try. His mind was racing through the memories he had with Ally and Mallory. For his favourite girls in the whole wide world need him, even if one of his girls aren't visible to him anymore. He has to try.
"I hope we were your best year too, Mall." Austin whispered to the wind, carrying the leaves as they were lifted from the cold, damp roads.
The couple were tired, but rejuvenated from that confession they had been dying to say. Now that's left is room for more memories.
"One good thing about music is, when it hits you, you feel no pain." – Bob Marley.
"Find a place with joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." – Joseph Campbell.
A/n: Should I do an epilogue? (The funeral) I'm sorry, I'm feeling the sadness at the moment.