Beth was always moving. She'd always been that way, even as a little kid. She understood that about herself- that she performed well under stress, and was good at balancing a lot at once. Since getting to college though…it's become almost a compulsion- her need to keep moving and keep busy. Like if she didn't keep going forward, she'd get stuck. Stuck on a thought. Stuck on a problem. Just stuck.
And that's what was happening right now. Beth was stuck. Stuck in what was arguably the world's most boring Spanish class to have ever existed and stuck on what the hell to do about the new coxswain, Alison.
Beth had re-written the number, transferring it from her palm to an index card when she got back to her dorm room, and had been carrying it in her pocket all day. She'd acted like such a spaz this morning, she was almost embarrassed. And it certainly didn't help to have Sarah rag on her all breakfast about a made up crush either. That's why Beth liked to keep moving- it helped keep her from over analyzing everything to death.
Beth absentmindedly chews on the end of her pencil. I can't have a crush on her- I just met her. And besides she's... what did Sarah call her?...a Pink Abomination. Girl probably has 'Legally Blonde' memorized by heart… She's bossy, and way, way too formal. Too proper. She's so uptight she practically blushed every time I swore... Though maybe that's not a bad thing-at least she won't get us kicked out of a race for swearing over the speakers, Beth thinks, mentally rolling her eyes at the memory of the one-time Sarah had coxed and done just that.
God, how is she going to stand up to Sarah. Let alone the rest of the girls.
Beth had been Captain and the regular 8 Seat, since Spring of last year- when Angela DeAngelis graduated. DeAngelis- for the semester Beth had known her- was a stone cold bitch. No one was going to mess with her or second guess her, not even Sarah, so when she left, Beth had a tough seat to fill. Literally too- sitting 8 Seat- being Stroke- meant everyone was following you. Beth felt good knowing that seat was usually reserved for the most technically proficient rower on the team, but she also knew that just because the coach puts you there, doesn't mean your crew automatically agree with that decision.
For example she knew for a fact that Rachel, who now sat just behind her in 7 seat, was less than happy Beth had moved up... though you could never really tell. She's always so... poised? Controlled? Whatever.
It wasn't easy but eventually Beth proved to the rest of them that she too was tough, wasn't about to get pushed around, and that she did in fact deserve it. And despite the occasional grumble now and then from Rachel, she had their respect.
But Alison though? Will she be able to win them over? Beth knew she had to if she was going to stay on the team. And Beth really wanted her to stay on the team.
She shook off the extra questions, and nagging thoughts. She loved crew, and they need a coxswain so why not this girl? Why not this Pink Abomination? Yeah. Beth smiles to herself, having made her decision, and acts before she gets bogged down and stuck with any more thoughts. She pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to the number from this morning. She doesn't take out the index card. And she doesn't pause to parse out the meaning behind the fact that she already has the number memorized. She just keeps moving, and sends off the text.
Hey, you free around 8?
Alison eyes herself in the small mirror on her dorm room wall. She had gotten Beth's text in the middle of what had been an impossibly long day, and had been looking forward to it since.
Is it strange to imagine a connection with someone, only interacting with them for a few hours? She hoped not- or at least she hoped Beth didn't think so. Alison thinks of her morning. Of the way her stomach fluttered when Beth had grasped her arm, and when she wrote her phone number on Alison's palm. There was definitely something, some connection, and Alison was excited.
So while she had planned on just unwinding in her dorm, maybe doing a bit of homework, before she met up with Beth she found herself to be too restless. She couldn't help it- she was excited at the prospect of getting to the bottom of this connection. Of making a new friend- someone with a little bit more substance than her previous crowd.
She'd been pacing- just a bit- and had caught sight of herself, noticing her shirt was a bit more wrinkled than she'd normally deem acceptable. So she started to change outfits. And then she realized if she was going to bother changing outfits, she might as well take a shower. And if she was going to shower, she'll need to do her hair. And makeup. It just made sense.
Now, she has five more minutes before leaving, so examines herself once again, the last once over, applying some lip gloss. Lovely. NOW I look presentable, she thinks.
"That's a lot of work for a first date. Must be a real catch…" Alison can feel Cosima's smirk without even looking.
"For your information, it's not a date." Alison replies, into the mirror, before turning back to face her roommate.
"Are you sure? I counted a total of 8 outfit changes. That's about 7 more than 'not at date' usually entails…" Cosima is indeed smirking, though isn't even looking up at her. The dread-haired girl is sprawled out on her stomach, papers littered around her as usual, and her nose is almost literally buried in her text book.
"Quite sure." Alison nods, moving to sit on her bed. She picks up her purse, unzipping it to make sure she had everything she needed before leaving the room.
"Well that makes one of us…" Cosima sits up, stretching, and swings her feet over the bed, now facing Alison.
"Is it so wrong to take a little pride in your appearance? Sometimes I just want to look nice..." On that note, she places her small travel brush in her purse.
"Does he know it's not a date?
"She." Alison adds absentmindedly, taking out a pack of gum from the purse- no need for that, why clutter?
"Reeeeeeeeeally? 'She' you say? Why Ms. Hendrix, you are just full of surprises…" Alison looks up in time to see Cosima waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Ugh, once again- NOT a date. She is the Captain of the women's crew team. I just joined as their new coxswain and she offered to meet up and give me some paperwork and other information to look over." Alison stands, grabbing a sweater as she makes her way out the door.
"Mmmhmmm…" Cosima smirks again, taking on a teasing tone. "Sure… have fun with your filling out paperwork…"
"How? How do you do that? How do you make a boring, completely innocuous activity like paperwork sound so filthy?"
"It's a gift," she shrugs, pushing her glasses back up her nose.
Alison rolls her eyes, "Good night," she adds exiting the room.
"I won't wait up!" Cosima yells as the door closes behind.
Beth Childs was late.
She can hardly even believe it- she could count on one hand how many times in her life she'd been late meeting up with someone, when she could help it.
She's not sure exactly what happened.
One minute she had been printing the waiver forms for Alison, and the next minute she was thinking about what a big responsibility it was- to teach someone everything about crew from scratch.
What if Alison isn't able to pick it up? What if I'm not a good enough teacher? What if Alison gets super frustrated and quit? I'll have ruined the team's chances at racing and the whole team is going to hate me and Coach S will be pissed and disappointed and I'll be kicked off the team, and won't be able to row and Alison will hate me and- and-
And suddenly she needed some air. No, she needed to move.
She strapped on her running shoes and shot out the door. A quick lap around campus became two. Became five. And her quads ached and her lungs burned but there was something very soothing in the rhythm of it. It's why she liked rowing too. The rhythm of it. Right now it was the rhythm of her feet on the pavement, of her breathing- even as it became ragged. It was a predictable rhythm, like a metronome, and she always felt safe in that predictability. For every inhale, there was an exhale. For ever left, a right. Over and over. Always moving forward.
Around lap eight she bothers to glance at her watch.
8:05.
Shit.
She's already exhausted but she still sprints, fueled by the thought of embarrassing herself yet again, in front of the newbie.
As she slows, entering the campus coffee shop, all her previous worries begin to catch up with her. This girl is going to wonder how someone so thoughtless and disorganized became team captain…shit, this is never going to work.
The clock on the wall behind the counter says 8:10. Unacceptable, Childs. Totally unacceptable. She tries to catch her breath and looks around for Alison.
"Elizabeth! Over here!"
Beth turns and spots Alison, waving at her from a booth near the back.
Shit.
As Beth makes her way over. She knows she's staring and knows she needs to take a good long moment and pull herself together because she was not prepared to be meeting this girl tonight.
She had been prepared to meet the girl she met this morning. With her out of place, high-end yoga pants and excessive pinkness. The girl this morning was cute. Okay, really cute, she could admit that. She was cute in an awkward, trying-to-look-poised-but-failing-way. And in the dark, and at 5 am, it's easy for your brain to dismiss that kind of cute.
But this girl... well… she was… beautiful.
Shit. Shit shit shit shit SHIT.
Beth managed to blink at some point, and sit down opposite Alison in the booth. CHILDS. WAKE UP. USE WORDS. "I'm so, so sorry I'm late. I'm seriously NEVER late…"
"Oh, it's no problem. Really. Thanks again for meeting me."
"Of course, sure." The girl in front of her was extremely pulled together. From her makeup, to her hair- not a one out of place. Beth suddenly realizes she has been running, and sweating, for the past hour or so… and that she totally looks it. "Uh, sorry I'm a mess. I went out for a run and kinda lost track of time."
"Oh, how far did you run?"
"I'm not sure, maybe 8?"
"8 MILES? Elizabeth, that's crazy!"
"It's just Beth, and I dunno, is it?" She asks, getting more self-conscious by the minute.
"That's a long way…" Alison gapes. She suddenly realizes Beth's looking less than comfortable with this line of conversation, and changes topics. "No matter- I'm just extra grateful you'd take time out of your training to help me out. It means a lot."
"Yeah, of course. My pleasure. Happy to help." Beth's breath and brain have finally caught up to her and slowly regains rational thought. She unclips her small running pouch. She has her dorm key, student ID and Alison's papers- folded up small- inside. She lays them on the table, smoothing them out. "So yeah, here's the waiver form, and here's all the stuff for the swim test- how to schedule it and stuff. There's some boathouse fees we pay, but we can worry about that later."
Alison slides the papers from Beth, reading them over. Beth watches her. Alison purses her lips as she reads. Okay, so, yeah she's very pretty. Big whoop Childs. Don't let that make things weird.
Yeah, no big deal. Beth lets out a slow breath. "Any questions with it? Always happy to help with paperwork…" Beth says it very casually, but for some reason Alison eyes blink wide for a second at the word paperwork. It's only a minute though and she seems to go back to normal.
"No, that won't be necessary. It looks simple enough."
"Good. That's good…"
The girl with the bangs nodded back at her, and appeared to be waiting for something. Waiting for what? Is she waiting for me to apologize for being late again?
"So… you mentioned you had some other information- technique stuff that you were going ot give me too?"
"Oh yeah…- oh shit!" the girl cringes at Beth's swear- Is she going do that every time? "No, sorry- I just realized I forgot it on my desk. In my dorm. Sorry."
"No, problem. Um…" she pauses, hesitating for a moment. "Should we go get it?"
"Go get it?" Beth's mouth goes dry. Go to my dorm?
"Well, yeah, you said it was just on your desk. Should we just go and grab it?"
"Grab it from my dorm you mean?" Beth realizes she probably sounds like an idiot, but also realizes that due to this... whatever it is she's feeling that's tying her stomach up in knots... having Alison up to her room, at this juncture, is not a great idea.
"Yeeeeees…" Alison looks at her quizzically.
She's probably wondering why I'm acting like I'm brain damaged. Beth thinks it over again, and after a pause decides that no, Alison should not come up to her dorm room. She has a very strong feeling that Alison, in her dorm room, is in fact a terrible idea because it's exactly what Beth wants right now. And it's been Beth's experience that the things she wants, are usually things that will only end up hurting her in the end. No, just no. Find an excuse…
"Uh, well, it's probably a mess."
"That's okay," Alison smiles patiently, and folds her hands on the table. "I don't mind."
"Well… It's at the top of the hill. On the other side of campus."
"It's a nice night for a walk. It'll be good to stretch my legs."
"Um…" Beth was running out of reasons.
"Elizabeth, if there's some reason you don't want to go…"
Shit. "No. There's no reason… We can go."
"Well okay then. Lovely." The girl with the bangs smiles, sliding out of the booth and standing. "Lead the way."
Alison has always been very pragmatic. She makes decisions carefully, taking the time, weighing her options before acting. This goes for all her decisions. While this has been very effective with things like school or work, she's found it's not quite as successful when applied to relationships. In the past looking at "pros and cons" and "weighing the benefit vs. time spent" when it came to people… well it turns out that friends or boyfriends don't take well to be told they're just not a priority today.
But, like any pragmatist, she can admit when something is not effective and when a new approach may be in order. In this case, it seems she may need to try something new. Branch out, do stuff outside her comfort zone, follow her gut…
So when Ramon suggested the crew team, even though it was something she knew nothing about and had no data to guarantee it would be a successful venture, she went for it. She let herself trust her friend.
And when she realized there was something about Beth- a gut feeling- that drew Alison to her, she decided to do the same thing: trust it. Instead of analyzing that feeling, categorizing it and picking it apart until she could neatly color code and file it, she decided to just go with it.
The first day of practice, Beth told Alison to trust her and she is doing just that. She decided to trust this girl, and trust her own gut…even though that gut literally flip flops when Beth is around- something that would normally send Alison racing in the other direction- Alison decides to press forward.
And the first step to becoming good friends is getting to know that person, she thinks, which is why she pressed so hard to visit Beth's dorm room. That's what friends do, they hang out. Alison wasn't exactly sure why Beth was so resistant, but she figured if there was a good reason not to go, Beth would have said so. She seemed like the tough type, definitely not someone who would let herself be steamrolled. Besides, she was the one that asked for my number. If she really didn't want to spend any time with me, she wouldn't have bothered, right?
They walk in silence to Beth's room. Alison tries to shut off that analytical side of her- tries not to read into why exactly Beth is so quiet and just enjoy the moment. It is a lovely night for a walk.
Beth scans her dorm card and they take the stairs up to the second floor. Geez, every single dorm is exactly the same, Alison muses, as they walk down a sterile white hallway, identical to her own. Beth takes out her key, and lets them in.
Alison was unsure of what to expect, especially since Beth was so hesitant to have her come over, but she was definitely not expecting this.
The room was, in a word, spartan. Much like her own small room there were two beds, two desks and two dressers. However very unlike her room, there was not much else. No posters, pictures, no… anything really. Grey. It was all very grey. In fact, the only thing that gave any indication that someone used the space, was the pair of running shoes sticking out from the bed on the right.
"So," Alison began, "This is messy?"
"Uh, I guess not. I just kinda forgot if I cleaned or not." Beth runs her fingers through her hair again, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, between the two beds.
"Which side is yours?
"Oh, this one," Beth indicates the bed to Alison's right.
Alison moves and sits down on said bed, taking another look around. "Do you have a roommate?"
Beth, looking unsure of exactly what to do with herself, finally opts to sit at her desk near the foot of the bed. "Ha, yeah, technically." Beth rolls her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Alison frowns.
"I think I've only seen Jen like twice in the last 3 weeks. She's an early education student. She's never here- she's either at her at class, or her internship or her boyfriend's. If I didn't see her laundry basket fill and empty every once in a while I'd probably assume she was dead."
"Yes, I'd have to say there's a distinct lack of liveliness in here. You know," she adds, surveying the room before turning and facing Beth again. "I could help you decorate, if you ever wanted some help with that…"
Beth chuckles. "Thanks, but I don't think pink is really my thing…"
"Oh it wouldn't have to be pink! Just because I like it doesn't mean I'd force it on you. We'd tailor it to your preferences. So, like, what kinds of things to you like? What do you do when you're not rowing? What kinds of TV shows do you like? What's your major?"
Beth quirks and eyebrow, suspiciously. "You certainly have a lot of questions..."
"Well, yes. I'm mean, If we're to be good friends, we should get to know each other right?"
Beth eyes get wide, and she opens her mouth to speak, but then closes it again, searching for a response.
Oh, ffffffishsticks, Alison thinks. Did I really misread this completely? "I'm sorry. I um, I guess I thought- I mean you were being so nice- that we could be friends. I mean,- Okay, I'm just going to…" She stands, pointing to the door.
"No no- wait!" Beth throws out her hands, gesturing for Alison to stop. "No, of course. Of course we can be friends. That'd be… that'd be great actually…" She works a smile onto her face, and although Alison isn't entirely sure how genuine it is, decides to trust her.
"Cool." Pauses "Well, it is getting late…" Alison makes a motion towards the door again.
"Oh, of course...Oh yeah! Here-" Beth jumps up quick and retrieves some papers from her desk, striding back and handing them to Alison. "Here's that technique stuff I was talking about."
"Excellent. I'll make sure to look it over."
"Perfect. So yeah, just see if you can get all that paperwork stuff done, and when you do, just come to practice and we'll getcha up and running."
"Great, okay, see you later Eliz- I mean, Beth."
"Bye."
Alison closes the door behind her. She pauses a moment. Something felt…unfinished in her conversation with Beth. No matter- she had time to figure it out. She had time because Beth Childs said they can be friends and that is fantastic.