Oh man, I can't believe it took me this long just to squeeze this chapter out! Yeah, sorry guys, things have been rather hectic for me lately, with my studies at university taking up most of my time. I was only able to make this using the spare time I can get between breaks but it's finally here: Chapter 2
Gonna keep this short before I get back to my studies but I hope you all enjoy.
Please leave a review after reading and tell me what you think. It'll be good to point out your thoughts now while this story is just starting out.
Chapter 1: New Life, New Friends
Now stop me if you heard this before.
You're just a normal guy living some form of normal life in the world.
The day starts out as nothing special and you'd expect it to end just like any other day.
Then, when you're out doing what you're supposed to do, you wind up meeting a girl and from then on, your life changes forever.
You wind up in a whole new world you'd never thought you'd be and before you knew it, you find yourself surrounded by all types of people with colorful personalities.
Now everyday is like an episodic adventure where you discover something new with each step.
And whether you want it or not, you find yourself surrounded by all these girls.
What's that? 90% of all anime/manga/visual novels start off with that kind of premise?
Indeed, it felt like it was the beginning of a very cliched story.
...Well, it could be worse. I could've wound up in the middle of a terrorist attack as an unfortunate bystander. Man, my luck would really be horrible if that really happened.
Anyways, Neptune brings me back to the Basillicom. I found myself standing in front of that large building at the center of Planeptune again.
However, this time...
"Ah, it's good to be home! And with delicious pudding in my hands, can this day get any better?"
Neptune's face was beaming and she carried the box full of pudding like it was a precious newborn baby.
It's good to see her so happy but...
"Neptune...Did you just say that this Basillicom was your house?"
I asked her. She puts her hands on her waist and showed me a big dumb grin.
"Yep, it's my home! My castle! My chez de Neptune!"
I don't think that last one is worded right. But wait, if she lives here then...
...My blood suddenly turns cold. My face starts to turn blue.
I've only known this girl for about 10 minutes and already, I had come to a horrifying conclusion.
"Umm, Neptune...You wouldn't happen to work for Planeptune's CPU by any chance, do you?"
I asked her timidly only to receive the worst answer I could've imagined.
"Hmm, nope. I am the CPU of Planeptune. It would be pretty weird to work for myself...I don't even do much work to begin with."
She says it so bluntly. Instantly, my mind rejected the thought.
"What!? YOU are the CPU of Planeptune?!"
I was shocked. Almost betrayed even.
The image I have about Lady Purple Heart is that she was confident, mature, and prideful. Perhaps she was a bit over-confident, but her serious and level-headed demeanor always gave me the strong impression that she was a true leader and voice of reason for her country.
To think that Purple Heart...is actually an idiot like Neptune.
No, Purple Heart IS the idiot Neptune.
Of course, I can't believe it.
Neptune looks at my confused expression with a confused look of her own.
"Well, yeah. Wait, you didn't know? This is a Hyperdimension Neptunia fanfiction and the first girl you meet happens to be me so it never occurred to you that I, Neptune, the main heroine am the CPU of Planeptune? I mean, it's pretty obvious isn't it? Most people who play the first game of the series could normally tie it all together in the first 5 minutes. Heck, even the readers here know that even before they opened this fanfiction. Neptune, Planeptune, do you see the similarities?"
I had no idea what she was saying but I was starting to feel like an idiot.
Being treated as an idiot by Neptune...It left me with a complicated feeling.
"B-But wait a minute! Compared to the Purple Heart that I see on TV and the one here...Aren't their appearances too different?"
"Sheesh, you're a bigger noob to this than I thought if you didn't know that I could use HDD either."
"HDD?"
I was confused by the new term that reached into my ears. The one to answer my confusion is Nepgear,
"HDD, or Hard Drive Divinity, is an ability used by the CPU's of Gamindustri which allows them to transform and access their full power. There are some notable differences between the CPUs and their human forms. Aside from the physical change, The CPU's can adopt a change in personality as well. Here, this is Neptune in her human form."
So she says. Based on her words, I then deduced that the Neptune before me was her human form and that means the one I've seen before, her Purple Heart persona must be her form as a CPU.
It all starts to make sense to me now...Although when I compare Neptune to Purple Heart, to call it a change in personality would be an understatement.
Rather, are they even the same person...?
"Hey, you don't believe it, do you!?"
Neptune puffs her cheeks while glaring at me. Crap, she saw right through me, huh?
"Well, it's something that's hard to believe, that's all..."
"Hmph fine! Then I'll just show you!"
Neptune's clenched her hands into little fists in front of her.
Neptune then does this weird pose, intent of a transformation. It was like something you would see magical girls do in front of a bunch of people, no matter how stupid it may look. It'd be embarrassing if nothing happened but at this moment, something did happen.
Her body lights up as a circle of binary code floats up around her along with thin streams of light. They were glowing green sequences of 1's and 0's, alternating between each other in a circle at a constantly growing rate and when that speed of sequences reached its pinnacle, a bright light flashed before my eyes. Rather than blinding me, it felt like I was being bathed entirely by that bright light.
When that light finally fades down and I was able to bring myself to open my eyes, Neptune's image was replaced with someone familiar.
"Wha...?"
I was shocked beyond what words could describe.
If this was Neptune then she had one hell of a makeover. Her hair becomes a dark lilac-purple while her eyes turn blue. Her hair becomes very long and is worn in twintail braids while her bangs and the hair that frame her face are somewhat longer. Her hairclips turn into small black circular pieces with glowing blue x's on them. Her suit resembles a black skin suit with purple segments and blue pieces along it. The boots/leg armor is above the knee.
It sports no blocky patches and more pronounced purple and blue lines with a patch of purple material going from just below her breasts to just below her navel. The gamepad marks are move from the shoulders to the sides of her hips. She also has two black and purple wristcuffs and stockings and boots. Neptune also gets an increase in bust size or bust emphasis.
This is the image of Purple Heart I'm all too familiar with.
"Y-You were telling the truth! You really are the CPU of Planeptune, Neptune!"
"I understand that this kind of Forced Tutorial situation is kind of a staple for the Hyperdimension Neptunia series, but can we get on with this before the readers start getting bored?"
Now with a deeper, more mature voice, the transformed Neptune lets out a heavy sigh.
Part 2
To say I lived under a cave my whole life...wouldn't be that far from the truth.
After all, far as long as I can remember, there's only been me and Julius.
I didn't really know my parents. I reasoned they must've died when I was just a little boy.
Even if I try to remember their faces, I wouldn't see anything.
For as long as I can remember, it's always been Julius taking care of me.
It was only the two of us. Naturally, Julius took up a lot of work to support us. He did that while still staying at the top of his class.
I had to pull my weight as well. Julius wasn't very good at housework so naturally, I filled in the position of doing all the house chores.
Between balancing between school and housework, I had little free time to slack off.
So I mostly spent most of my time up until now either at school or at home. So that meant I never stepped out of Planeptune much nor did I really get much of a chance to get involved with society.
It would only be natural then that I would be clueless to the CPU's true personality outside of their appearances in publicized events.
I've only thought Purple Heart, the CPU of Planeptune was only that one person I saw.
Now I understand that everyone has two sides to themselves: the person they are in public and the person they are in private.
However, this...goes far beyond anything that I expected.
The HDD that Nepgear told me about which was a whole new transformation that Neptune and all CPUs possess was still a hard pill for me to swallow.
To be honest, I've never imagined up until now that I would actually meet Planeptune's CPU so suddenly like this.
And what a horrible meeting it was...
Now that I've met her and learned what she's really like, a question appeared in my mind.
...Are we going to be alright with her as our CPU?
I kept those doubts in my mind as I follow Neptune into the Basillicom.
Neptune swings the doors open and while me, Nepgear and Rollo trailed behind her, Neptune spontaneously yells into the air.
"Honey! I'm hooooome!"
Her vibrant voice echoes through the building.
I lean towards Nepgear and whispers,
"Is Neptune married?"
"Not that I'm aware of, no..."
Nepgear says with a meek smile. Why does she look so unsure?
Either Neptune was being random or there is someone in this place named 'Honey'.
"Well, well, if it isn't Neptune. It's about time you showed up."
A female voice. One with a lot of sass to its tone.
I turn my head towards the direction the voice came from.
Not surprisingly, I see another unfamiliar face.
A pale-fair skinned girl with long black hair about waist length, worn up in long pigtails with two-piece black and blue ribbons. Her bangs are neatly combed, framing her face and she has very noticeable red eyes. She wears a fancy dress consisting of dark blue, white, red, and small amounts of gold lining and buttons. The dress part covers a red with black spiked lining cloth while the breast part is white, along with the skirt which has black lining on both layers. Behind this is a blue bow, matching a smaller one worn around her neck attached to a black and white collar. In the center is a gold piece.
My first impression of her was that I thought she was beautiful but at the same time, the kind of person who's hard to approach.
Unlike the bubbly Neptune, this girl looked like the type who takes things too seriously.
Despite that contrast, Neptune seems to have no problem with breaking that invisible barrier and approaching that girl with the same carefree demeanor.
"Oh, heya Noire! What's up? What brings you all the way here? Were you lonely without any friends to talk to so you came all the way here to play with us?"
...I sensed no sarcasm in Neptune's tone. But what she said was clearly rude.
Perhaps because they seem like good friends that she was joking around.
That being said, the black-haired girl seems to take her words with clear offense.
Her face heats up furiously as she glares at Neptune with angry eyes.
"O-Of course not! I-I totally have...at least...one friend to talk to...I think...Wait! What are you making me say!? I didn't come here to goof off with you or anything!"
She screams it out furiously...I'm having a hard time understanding how this girl's mind works.
Neptune places her finger on her cheek and curiously asks,
"Oh really? Then what are you doing here?"
After calming down a little, the black-haired girl answers,
"Well if you must know, Histoire called me here because she wanted to talk to me about something, that's all...Hmm? Who is this?"
It was then that this girl noticed me standing a bit far back behind Neptune.
"M-Me?"
Nervously, I point my finger at myself while slightly startled.
Soon enough, everyone's gazes were on me.
All this attention was making me uncomfortable.
A part of me hoped that there was someone standing behind me at the moment.
"Are you...talking about me?"
I asked. The black-haired girl gaped at me with half-opened eyes.
"Well yeah, who else could I be talking to? The cat?"
"Meow!"
Rollo meowed right next to me.
It only took until now that I realized I had just asked an unbelievably stupid question.
If she knows Neptune, then she would definitely know Nepgear.
From her perspective, I'm the only stranger here.
"Um, I'm Ludger. Ludger Kresnik."
"Meow!"
"Oh right, and this here's Rollo. My cat."
I bend down to pick up Rollo...Whoa, Julius was right about the diet Kitty Krisps.
While carrying Rollo from under his arms, I present the cat towards the girl.
The girl takes a step forward passed Neptune and Nepgear. Her gaze was focused straight on Rollo.
Putting her hands on her hips, the girl leans forward, until she and Rollo were face-to-face
"Hmm..."
"Meow...?"
Rollo tilts his head in confusion.
The way the girl was intently staring at him reminds me of the shrewd look of a judge sizing him up in a pet competition.
...Well, either that or the shrewd gaze of a chef sizing up their ingredients before throwing them into a pot.
The girl whispers something in a low voice,
"What a chubby-looking cat..."
...She's...not planning to eat him, is she?
Then the girl's face turns red as her eyes suddenly looked dazed.
"C-Can I touch his paw pads?"
"Huh?"
"Meow?"
Me and Rollo share a look of confusion.
Like she had suddenly woken up and returned to reality, the girl's eyes snapped wide open. With furiously blushing cheeks, the girl stands back up straight with her posture now even tighter than before.
"I-I mean, what a fat cat! Seriously, what are you feeding this poor guy! Wouldn't it kill you to take him out for some exercise! I mean, look at that round belly!...That round, soft, squishy belly...I mean, put the cat on a diet already!"
It feels like she was just throwing out words to cover up her embarrassment.
Honestly, I never saw anything wrong about having the temptation to feel an animal's paw pads.
I should know, I get that temptation sometimes myself.
Rather, I don't really get why she's getting so worked up over something so trivial.
I exchange glances with Rollo, who is still held up in my hands.
She's a strange one, isn't she?
The girl *ahem* clears her throat by letting out a fake cough while holding a fist before her mouth.
Putting that whole moment behind us, she regains her composure and gives me a firm look.
"A-Anyways, my name is Noire! I'm the CPU of Lastation! You should feel honored!"
The girl introduces herself as Noire. More importantly...
...CPU of Lastation!?
I was shocked speechless. It came as less of a shock when I met Neptune, but it was still plenty surprising.
I didn't think I would meet the CPU of Planeptune AND Lastation all in one day.
If it weren't for Neptune's introduction before, I probably wouldn't have believed it.
However, I admit this girl, Noire, does exert more of a goddess-like aura than Neptune.
...Even if she does have her quirks.
It was then while making introductions that we all heard two new voices murmuring nearby.
"...What's with all the noise...?"
"My, my, has Nepgear returned yet?"
From the entrance of a nearby hallway, two new people come out.
While their colors completely contrast that of Noire and Neptune, I sensed the same form of elegance I get from them.
The first is a short pale skinned girl. She has short sandy-brown colored hair reaching her neck and dull blue eyes. On the top of her head, she wears a big white cap with light blue ruffles and a brown and gold under and center piece. She is wearing a opened white jacket with powder blue markings, dark brown lining, and light colored brown fur. Around her neck is a light blue choker with a single white stripe in the middle and blue gem/badge in the center. She also wears power blue sandals with a white ribbon around in her right leg resembling a bandage.
The girl wore a stoic, quiet expression. It gave me the impression of a doll.
And it's worth noting that she looked flat as a board. It's probably for the best that I keep that to myself though.
The other one next to her seems to be like her complete opposite.
She seems to be the most mature out of all of them, possessing a more curvy and bustier body than the other girls I met so far.
She has long curled light blond hair with long bangs neatly framing her face. She has sad blue looking eyes, not fully open. She wears an emerald green dress with gold markings. Big/loose light green and white gloves and along the top part of her skirt is a big peach/orange bow. Around her neck she wears a big piece of white collar with green lining around the bottom and a very thin white cloth connecting the dress and neck piece together. At the center is a gold circular piece with a small blue gem in the center and tiny red ribbon with gold in the center.
"Wowza, both Blanc AND Vert are here too!? What's the occasion? Is it my birthday?"
Neptune says, spouting that random comment at the end.
The short one answered first,
"Ram and Rom were being noisy...so I came here to get away from them."
"I had some free time so I thought I'd come down to see my darling little sister, Nepgear."
The taller one explained. With that, a question formed into my head.
I leaned towards Nepgear and whispered,
"I didn't know you had another sister..."
"That's not...exactly right..."
Nepgear says with a sheepish smile.
"Oh? It seems I have found Nepgear but who is this new face among us?"
Urk, it seems the blonde haired one clad in green had taken notice of me. The short one dressed in white also takes notice of me and murmurs,
"It's a guy..."
"*gasp*, you're right, he is!"
Neptune is genuinely astonished...Wait, what!? She's actually surprised by that!?
I genuinely hope that Neptune was speaking with a word form of sarcasm but...
It seems the male gender of the human race is a foreign species to these people...
"Umm, I'm Ludger. Ludger Kresnik. And this is my cat, Rollo."
"Meow!"
I show everyone the fat cat in my hands.
"He's also the main character/narrator of this fanfiction, so be nice to him, okay?"
Neptune adds...for some reason.
"Ludger, huh? Well then, my name is Vert. I am the CPU of Leanbox. It's a pleasure to meet you."
""...I'm Blanc. CPU of Lowee. Nice to meet you..."
Vert makes a proper introduction while Blanc was quick and to the point.
The CPUs of Leanbox and Lowee, huh? Unbelievable. I met all four CPUs of Gamindustri in one day.
Only the main characters of anime and manga would have the kind of insane luck to meet all these kinds of important people all at once.
It felt like I was dropped into this situation without warning and because of that, I didn't know how to respond to this.
Neptune, Noire, Blanc and Vert...
The four CPUs that govern Gamindustri were all around me.
"Alright! Now that we're all friends, let's feast on these puddings in celebration in meeting our new pal, Ludger!"
Neptune exclaims, holding the box of pudding over her head like it was buried treasure.
...I don't think a celebration over a trivial reason is necessary. Rather, I think Neptune's just inventing excuses not to do work.
"Neptune!"
Just then, a voice-an angry voice- cuts through the air.
"Yikes!"
Neptune's entire body freezes up and her face suddenly looks tense.
It was then another girl -a REALLY small girl- who was sitting atop an open book was slowly hovering towards us, her angered eyes fixated solely on Neptune.
And when I say small, I mean small enough to fit in my hand.
She uh, 'stands' at about...13...no 15 centimeters. Yes, centimeters. I had to measure her height in centimeters. She really reminds me of a fairy. She had long, light blonde hair worn in curled pigtail, curled bangs, along with curled bangs reaching her chest. Her eyes were blue and she had fair-tan kin. There were purple and blue, butterfly like wings extending from her back while her white hat had what looked like blue headphone pieces over her eye. She had a small green tie and a purple dress.
And she was tiny like a fairy. Like a fairy companion that would travel alongside you on a journey to save the world, all the while shouting in your ear constantly about useless tidbits that you could do just fine without...
...But no seriously, she is small. You could show her to a child and they would probably confuse her with some revolutionary, interactive toy. If toys like that would actually exist, parents would certainly freak out.
She sits upon a book, which happens to be floating in the air...Her appearance surprises me even more than the CPUs do.
Just what on earth...?
The small girl sitting atop that open book hovers straight to Neptune, ignoring the rest of us.
She didn't look happy. In fact, she looked pissed.
"Neptune! Where have you been!? I hope you've been doing your work and collecting shares for Planeptune like you were supposed to!"
Neptune's finger was on her cheek as her eyes became wide with realization.
"Oh yeah, right...Well, here's the thing. Me and Nep Jr. were out trying to do our work annnnnd...it just so happened that there was this 2 for 1 promotion going on at a nearby ice cream shop so we decided to take a break there and...after that, we didn't feel like working anymore."
Neptune explains...I'm sorry but that is a horrible explanation. Even by children standards, that's a terrible excuse.
...Wait if that's what happened, how exactly did they end up in Virtua Forest?
Rather, how long was their break!?
"I see...Don't tell me that's all that happened..."
The fairy-like girl expresses it calmly...but you can see the large vein throbbing at the side of her head.
While tapping her cheek with her finger, Neptune murmurs...
"Umm...Ah, oh yeah! We also met a new friend today! You know, while I was out being awesome and everything! His name is Ludger! Say hi, Ludger!"
Neptune suddenly turns her attention on to me...Is she trying to change the subject?
Either way, the young fairy-like girl turns her entire body at my direction. With that, the anger in her eyes completely vanished for a moment as she looks at me with a pleasant expression.
"Oh? So you're one of Neptune's new friends?"
She asks me. I thought about it for a moment and then answered,
"Umm, I suppose. Honestly, I only just started working for the Guild and it just so happened that Neptune is my client. I'm not sure if that makes us friends yet."
I said that hesitantly. Like that, Neptune looks at me with an 'angry' expression in her eyes.
"What are you talking about? Of course, we're friends. Anybody who gives me pudding, even if on the job, will always be a friend of mine!"
Neptune says proudly...It seems her standards on friendship are even lower than I expected.
The small fairy-like girl nods her head understandingly,
"I see. So basically, you also happen to run into Neptune by chance and because of her shenanigans, were brought back here by that girl's whims, bringing you here now. I'll assume your first meeting with her wasn't exactly normal either."
...She understands this so well. Has this kind of thing happened before?
"Y-Yeah, you're right."
I merely nod my head, both amazed and surprised at how accurately she puts it.
The girl lets out a heavy sigh and laments,
"Honestly, this thing always happens when Neptune is involved. Oh, where are my manners..."
The small girl looks at me and politely says,
"My name is Histoire. I'm Planeptune's Oracle. It's a pleasure to meet you."
I hear an unfamiliar word, and tilt my head to the side in confusion.
"Oracle?"
Nepgear was the one to answer my question.
"You can say she's our Basillicom's boss. She helps us handle our workload."
Ah, now it starts to make sense. I nod my head once to Nepgear, telling her that.
I look back to Histoire and said,
"I'm Ludger Kresnik. I'm a member of the Guild...Or rather, I just joined the Guild so I'm still new to this."
Wearing a pleasant smile, Histoire politely bows her head towards me.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ludger. I apologize for any trouble that Neptune may have caused you. I do hope you can forgive her for anything she may have did."
"N-No, not at all!"
My body automatically bends forward to return Histoire's bow.
What is this...The sudden polite formal introduction exchanged...My body just moved on its own.
Well, actually, considering all the horrible introductions before, I was surprised to get such a normal one out of the blue.
"Heeeeey! What is that!? Why am I made to look like the bad guy in all this!? I'm supposed to be the main heroine here!"
Neptune was pouty. She even puffs her cheeks.
"I mean, we wouldn't be able to start up this fanfiction if we hadn't met in the first chapter!"
She kept complaining. It seems every word she spoke only fed Histoire's quiet anger slowly bubbling on her face.
"That aside...Neptune, is it correct to assume that the circumstances in which you met was only because he was made to deliver that box full of pudding that is in your hands?"
Histoire refers to that cool box of pudding that was currently cradled in Neptune's hands. Just like that, her expression drops and her mouth was left wide open.
"Uhh..."
"I told you again and again not to use the Guild to run your silly errands, didn't I!? For requests like this, either make it yourself or go to a patisserie!"
That's what I thought...
Neptune starts sweating at the side of her cheek.
"Wh-What? Histy...are...are you like, upset? For realsies?"
It took her that long to realize that?
Histoire lets out a heavy, upset sigh.
"There should be a limit to your laziness. You're a CPU!"
Histoire looks to me and bows her head apologetically,
"My apologies Ludger for having to see such unsightly display from your CPU. While I would like to get more acquainted, it seems I need to pound into Neptune's thick skull just what exactly it means to be a CPU!"
"I see. Go for it."
I instantly supported Histoire's words. Just then, Neptune's mouth gaped wide open.
"Buh-whaaa!? H-Hang on a sec! Ludger, you're the main character here! It's your job to save me, the main heroine, from stuff like this!"
Neptune cries out at me...Sorry, Neptune but I'm with Histoire on this one.
After all, I'm a citizen of Planeptune myself. I won't be able to sleep knowing that the leader of my country is so damn lazy that she makes the Guild fulfill such trivial requests.
"That's enough, Neptune! Sit! Tuck those feet under your legs - seiza style, missy!"
Seiza style, huh? Man, that form of sitting hurts after a while if you're not used to it and it really cuts the circulation to the legs.
And since I never pictured Neptune to be the type to be so formal, this is going to hurt.
"Whaaaaat?"
Neptune complains loudly but Histoire didn't listen.
"Pipe down and listen to me! I shall now begin my lecture. The primary duty of any CPU is..."
While Neptune was suffering from the way she was sitting, Histoire kept lecturing her.
Naturally, we all took a step back and left a bit of distance from them so that Histoire can continue her lecture uninterrupted.
Nepgear's profile had a meek smile. Her hands carried the box of pudding that was left behind by Neptune when Histoire pulled her away.
"Umm, Histoire's lectures usually last for quite some time. Shall we all head to the next room so we can enjoy some tea and snacks?"
Everyone from me, Noire, Blanc and Vert all nod their heads in agreement.
"Yeah. Sounds good."
"Well, if you insist, I don't mind taking a bit of a breather."
"...Okay."
"Would you like to play a game with me, Nepgear? You can join too, Ludger."
"Meow!"
Oh right, Rollo is here as well.
We all retreat to the next room over to enjoy some tea, snacks and of course, games.
Histoire's lectures indeed took a while. We can hear her voice over from the next room.
During that time Histoire was lecturing and Neptune was groaning, I engaged in casual conversation with Nepgear and the others.
Nepgear left the puddings in the fridge, most likely waiting for Neptune to come back so that they could enjoy it together.
During that time I interacted with everyone, I developed a basic understanding of everyone's personalities.
It was easy though since everyone's personality seems to stand out significantly.
When meeting new people, a good way to remember them is to either get their contact information or find this one distinguishing trait about them that separates them from everyone else, whether it's physical or personality-based.
Summing it up with only a few words for each person would make it even easier to remember. I guess you could say, giving everyone a title helps describe them.
For example, Noire would be Tsundere. Evidence: She keeps occasionally shifting her glance at Rollo and I can tell that she at least wanted to play with his paw pads. She had that look in her eyes...
Nepgear would be the 'Little Sister'. She has all the traits that make up the ideal little sister, with her dependability being a bonus.
I'd use 'a doll' to describe Blanc. She's so...quiet.
Vert would be the Big Sister (Wannabe). You could tell just from her interactions with Nepgear.
I suppose Histoire would be something like a 'Fairy Companion'.
Finally, Neptune would be 'Idiot'.
Part 3
They say you don't become a master of anything overnight.
Even the talented require some practice before they can master it.
That could be said for cooking.
You start off at the beginning, by reading a recipe and following the steps. Small recipe's like cookies are a good way to start then you start building your foundation and cooking techniques with more and more complicated recipe's.
With enough experience and a trained palate, you could then start branching off to build your own recipe's. Normally, it'd be a hit-and-miss but with a good sense of taste and more importantly, common sense towards your ingredients, you'll end up creating delicious food in no time.
Sometimes, people would just skip the step of following a recipe and jump straight to experimenting with their ingredients...Yeah, don't do that.
All you will get from that is some kind of Mystery Food X that shouldn't even be called food in the first place.
Julius often sing praises about my cooking but it did not start like that at the beginning.
The first time I cooked was when I was 7. I noticed that my brother had been getting thinner lately because of his work.
I was a little worried so I decided to cook for him one day because I was concerned about his health.
The dish was a tomato pasta and I had to say...It was a disaster.
I had a recipe in hand and had all the ingredients before me...In the end, I was able to create an edible dish however, the kitchen was in such a mess, you'd think a tornado ran through the place.
My hands were also covered in bandages too. There were so many cuts that you'd thought I got into a fight with some bully.
It was a lot of work...but when Julius sat down and ate it, and when I saw how happy he was, I felt really happy myself.
How should I put this? When your efforts were able to put a smile on someone's face, you can't help but feel like smiling yourself.
I suppose that's what got me into cooking. Seeing happy smiles of people enjoying the food I make.
Which reminds me, that pudding that I gave Neptune...I wonder what she would say once she tastes it?
"Geh. My legs are all tingly and snoring. Can somebody spare me some Paralaxin...?"
Neptune was groaning while her hands were massaging her thighs.
...Histoire had been lecturing for an hour. Well, I suppose sitting in seiza for that long will do that to you.
Right now, I was in Neptune's room just like everyone else.
It was a room I'd expect to find from a girl her age. A pair of bunk beds, bright colors and a game console connected to a large television set.
I spent most of the time sitting back, drinking tea while the other's played games. But honestly, who really cares about that right now?
Right now, Neptune was sitting on a chair at the table in the middle of the room. Nepgear had to drag her here.
Around the table were Noire, Vert and Blanc as well. Nepgear went to the kitchen to grab something.
Histoire was hovering before all of us at the center of the table, glaring at Neptune with a stern look.
"And just how long do you intend to sit there like flies on the wall?"
...Would flies on the wall even count as sitting?
I thought about that for a moment before soon deciding to give up on the thought.
"Histy, your stories last longer than my whole life. My cute thighs are all jello-y now."
"Did you learn nothing from my lecture about how a CPU ought to behave and speak? I'll assume you have taken a hard look at yourself and now understand how serious it is, yes?"
Neptune wears a guilt-free smile.
"Well, honestly, I kinda drifted off somewhere around the CPU part..."
Neptune...There is such a thing as being TOO honest.
"Unbelievable..."
Histoire scowls. She reminds me of a mother trying to scold a problem child...
"C'mon, Histy. Aren't you being like, a little too uptight? I mean, seriously, just chill out already. It's not like it's the end of the world or anything. Right, Ludger? Don't you think Histy is being too much of a evil step-mom, right now?"
Neptune looks at me, as if she was searching for an ally for her cause.
...Don't look this way.
"I'm not a CPU so I wouldn't really understand the situation."
Histoire nods her head,
"Naturally. The responsibilities of a CPU isn't something most people would understand. I suppose that would apply to Neptune as well, unfortunately."
"Boo~"
Neptune pouts her lips while rolling her head on the surface of the table.
"Ludger, you were supposed to say something like 'I agree with Neptune' or something like that. Honestly, you're never gonna win any affection points from me if you keep that up."
...It's not my intention to win your affections anyways.
"Hmph. Well, I suppose something like that is for the best. I can't imagine any romantic relationship with you can possibly be healthy, Neptune."
Noire makes the comment with a cunning smirk.
Vert then adds while crossing her arms under breasts,
"Indeed. I shudder at what might happen to poor Ludger if he were to go down your story route."
"...A waste of storytelling..."
Blanc makes that ambiguous comment at the end.
Neptune's eyes gaped wide open like a pair of white saucers as she raises her head at the other three CPU's.
"Hey! What's with this bullying? I didn't sign up for this! *gasp* Is this because I'm the main heroine!?"
...I've been thinking this for a while but why does Neptune keep referring to herself as the main heroine? Does that even mean anything?
Once again, I thought about it for a bit but then I soon gave up when it became too troublesome.
Before the conversation could keep going in all sorts of weird directions, Nepgear enters the room with a smile, carrying a tray with 6 custard puddings sitting on top of small plates.
"Sorry for the wait, everyone!"
"! I smell pudding!"
Like an animal that just caught scent of her prey, Neptune's face lights up with a twitch of her nose.
Nepgear walks around the table, placing a dish before each of us.
"It took me a while to transfer them onto plates. I didn't want to ruin the presentation."
A pudding goes to Noire, and then Blanc, and then Vert. Another pudding gets placed in front of an empty seat, where I'll assume Nepgear would be sitting.
Finally, Neptune...
"Oh, sweet! I've been waiting for this all day! To be reunited with my one true love: Pudding!"
It was as if all of Neptune's fatigue was washed away simply from the mere sight of the custard pudding sitting in front of her.
I understand that people are entitled to their favourite foods.
However, when I look at Neptune, the shine in her eyes make it look like her entire reason for existence is pudding.
As soon as Nepgear sits down on the last seat, everyone around me picked up their spoons. They each aimed at their own puddings in front of them.
Naturally, Neptune went in first...
"Down the hatch!"
She plunges her spoon in, taking a bit of pudding and caramel from the top and slips it into her mouth.
Her expression from then on was of total bliss.
"DE-LICIOUS! It's Neptune Delicious! It's..It's...Nep-licious!"
Nep-licious? That's new.
Neptune keeps squealing while holding her hand to her cheek in absolute elight. Her expression looked heavenly.
I'll go under the assumption that she liked it...Somehow, that makes me happy.
"I've had this dessert many times before but this one stands head and shoulders above anything I've had so far."
Vert makes that comment after a single spoonful of pudding. She wore an approving smile.
"There doesn't seem to be anything added in here. And yet, the custard feels so rich and it melts in your mouth."
Nepgear added, her spoon tapping against the caramel top of her pudding. It feels...kinda embarrassing actually to hear this much praise.
"NomNomNomNom..."
Blanc was just quietly eating the pudding without saying anything else.
"This is pretty good. For pudding anyways."
Noire makes that critique while lightly shrugging her shoulders. I'm guessing she approves of it...I think?
"It's Nep-tastic! The stuff from convenience stores can't even compare to this! Hmm? Ludger, aren't you going to have any?"
Neptune looks at me and noticed I have yet to pick up my spoon.
"No, I'm fine. I really don't feel like having any pudding now anyways. If you want, you can have it, Histoire."
I gently push the edge of my plate and offer the pudding to Histoire, whose face shows a pleasant surprise.
"Oh, are you sure?"
"It's fine. I can make this pudding myself anytime I want to so I wouldn't be missing out on much."
At that moment...
Clank.
I hear the light tapping sound of metal against porcelain.
I see Neptune's entire body frozen. The spoon she held seems to have slipped out of her hand and the tip now sat at the edge of the plate narrowly.
While looking at me, Neptune's eyes were like a pair of wide circles.
"No way...You MADE this heavenly pudding!? And here I thought you bought it from a classy shop or something!"
"Do I look like the kind of person who can afford such things?"
I asked and Neptune simply answers,
"I guess not."
She seems to agree...Although it still irks me to see her agree so easily.
Vert also looks at me strangely, crossing her arms under her breasts while shrugging her shoulders,
"It is surprising to know that you had such a skill. I always got the impression that you were among the blank-slate, silent protagonist type. I didn't think you had the 'Supreme Chef' trait."
...Is that how she sees me?
"...It's a common stereotype for the main character in these types of stories to be at most mediocre at cooking."
Blanc finally speaks, only to make that weird comment.
"Darn, tootin'! I mean, how exactly are we heroines supposed to do the 'Make the Boxed Lunch out of Love' event knowing THIS is what we're competing against!? You're not playing fair, Ludger! You're making our jobs too hard!"
Neptune complains to me. I'm not really sure what my cooking level has to do with their 'job' exactly.
Should I apologize for knowing how to cook? Then again, that makes no sense in the first place.
"And here I thought I was a really good cook. Now that I've tasted this, I don't know anymore."
Nepgear's confidence looked like it was dropping by the second as she sulks in her chair.
Oh boy, this better not give birthed to some really weird rivalry between us.
Noire looks at everyone with a dull expression in her eyes.
"Aren't you all just overreacting? I mean, it's just pudding. One of the most basic recipe's you'll ever find in a cookbook."
She mentions to everyone.
She's right, of course. Pudding is a really simple dessert. Hardly takes anytime at all.
But Neptune argues,
"JUST pudding?! Clearly Noire, if you ever eaten 10 convenience store brand puddings every day, you can easily tell in a single bite that Ludger's pudding is no ordinary pudding..."
The tone she spoke with certainly sounded cool, but the source of her confidence is just weird. Also, change your diet. 20 convenience store puddings a day aren't healthy...
"Behold! The custard is so rich and moist, it practically melts in your mouth and explodes with flavor in your mouth! It's creamy yet unexpectedly firm around the caramel top. The caramel itself is not too sweet as well! In fact, it has this slight bitter aftertaste that leaves a lasting impression on your taste buds that will never cease. Truly, this pudding is none other. This here is the King of Puddings!"
King of Puddings? That's exaggerating a bit. More importantly, what the hell's gotten over Neptune?
She always seemed so air-headed before; when did she turn into a giant ham?
At that point, I made it a mental note never to get between Neptune and pudding.
"..."
Everyone was struck silent by Neptune's idiotic speech. Naturally, everyone must've had the same thought.
Just by arguing back at her, you're already degrading yourself down to the same mental age as Neptune because you acknowledged her argument.
So nobody spoke a word back.
Instead, Noire shoots me a look from her eyes and said,
"You started it. Now finish it."
You're asking for the impossible...
Part 4
There is such a thing as working too hard.
Those who constantly work themselves without taking sufficient breaks will either start hating life or just lose their minds.
As such, it's perfectly natural to do idle things like watch TV and play video games in order to lower stress and get their minds off the complications of daily life.
However...
"Haha! Taste my Special! And you're out of here, Nepgear!"
"Uwah, that's terrible, Neptune! How could you!"
"My bad little sister, but in this game, it's every girl for herself!"
"Fret not, Nepgear. I shall gladly take vengeance on your behalf."
"..."
...There is also such a thing as slacking off too hard.
At the moment, Neptune, Nepgear, Vert and Blanc were sitting in front of the TV, playing a four player fighting game.
The goal of the game was simple: merely smash your opponent off the screen.
There are bunch of other rules you could make to adjust your game like time limits etc... but I don't feel like explaining it.
It's a game that originated from Lowee and has long since remain a classic played by many. It is particularly enjoyable when it's played among friends.
I sat at my chair just a few metres behind them and the thoughts 'these are the CPUs we all worshipped' kept going through my mind.
Watching those girls, it made me really worry about this world's future. I mean, can we really entrust our society to such lazy people?
I began to wonder about that but considering that they've been our CPUs for a while, I'm assuming they must've done something right.
The reason I wasn't playing with them was because it was a four player game and since I just met everyone, I didn't really want to get in their way.
Plus, if I did played, I'd most likely lose when up against Neptune or Vert.
So here I am, just sitting around doing nothing in particular. Technically, I completed my job so I could leave anytime.
However, every time I tried, Neptune would say something like 'What, you're leaving? But we have so many games left to play' while giving me a puppy dog look.
Once she gave me that face it became hard to disappoint here and I wound up sitting my butt back on my chair.
It seems I can't leave until that girl tires herself out...It looks like I'll be here a while.
Well, it's not like I'm in a real emergency to leave now anyways.
Even if I come back, I wouldn't have much to do since I've only last cleaned the apartment a few days ago and it won't take me long to prepare dinner.
Julius won't be back for a while so I might as well stay for a bit to kill time.
"...Zzzz...Meooooow..."
Rollo was lightly snoring while peacefully napping on top of the table I was sitting at.
The quiet, fat cat was making light purring noises. A small snot bubble was blowing up out of his nose and its size changes in rhythm with his breathing.
Also,
"..."
Sitting across me on the other side of the round table was Noire, who had her eyes unusually fixated on Rollo for some time.
You could see the inner turmoil in her eyes as her face was tight upon watching Rollo sleep.
All she's been doing was watching him every chance she gets while making no attempts to do anything else. Even though, it was clear that she wanted to play with the cat. Things like touch his paw pads, rub his belly or run your fingers under his chin. Things that are hard to resist if you're an animal person.
This sort of conflict is painful to watch. Like you have the desire but not the will to carry it out.
Just scratch behinds his ears already, damnit! I won't think less of you if that's your concern! Rather, your concern towards your own self-image is rather disturbing...
Realizing that nothing will progress at this rate, I opened my mouth and offered,
"Do you want to pet him?"
"H-Huh!?"
Noire gapes at me. Mouth open, cheeks red. She looked genuinely shocked.
"W-Why would I? Who would want to pet your chubby cat? Honestly, what kind of girl do you take me for?"
My 100% honest opinion: I have no idea.
I guess I'll find out.
"You know, Rollo tends to give a rather cute reaction if you tickle his chin while sleeping."
"R-Really?"
Noire asks. For a moment, she actually seemed tempted. She got that dazed look in her eye.
Then as if she had just woken up from a dream, snaps,
"I-I mean...So? Why are you telling me this? It's not like I want to see that...cute reaction...or anything."
She sounded like she was in pain somewhere around the end. Hmm...
"Really? That's too bad. Rollo really likes it when somebody scratches under his chin. Especially if it's from a cute girl."
I say that while scratching the side of Rollo's belly playfully with my index finger. Rollo tosses around a few times but doesn't react anymore than that.
"..."
Noire just sits there frozen, eyes half-open as she looks at me for a moment. Her cheeks became an even deeper shade of red than before.
At this point, only god knows what's going through her head right now...Literally.
1 second...2 seconds...3 seconds...4-
"W-Well..."
Noire *ahem* clears her throat and it looked like that massive invisible wall composed of her own pride was crumbling down. She says to me with a shaky voice,
"I-I guess if you put it like that, t-then it can't really be helped..."
I noticed the significant drop on her shoulders as if a giant weight's been lifted.
Looking a little bit more composed, Noire runs her delicate fingers through one of her twin tails, her profile looking a lot more confident now.
"I mean, I'd feel bad for this cat for having quiet, unreliable guy for an owner, always being over-fed and under-exercised. As a CPU, it is my duty that Gamindustri's citizens, even this cat are happy."
'Quiet, unreliable guy'? Sheesh, she didn't have to be rude about it.
"It's nice to see that you two are becoming good friends very quickly."
Histoire, who suddenly appeared above both of our heads says with a gentle smile on her face.
At her statement, Noire's face suddenly flashes red and she screams,
"W-We're not friends or anything! Who'd want to be friends with a guy like him anyways?"
Noire points her finger at me from across the table.
She then crosses her arms and darts her eyes straight at Histoire. Her cheeks were still flustered.
"J-Just for the record, L-Ludger was just asking me if I'm willing to take care of his cat at times when he's away. I-It's not like I can say no when someone asks for my help right? I'm a CPU after all."
...Wait, I never asked her if she could do that.
That's what I thought but I decided to keep my mouth shut her to save face. Well, I suppose since I 'asked', and she 'agreed', I might as well take her up on that whenever I need a sitter for Rollo.
Histoire, placing a finger on her cheek, nods her head.
"Ah, I see. So that's what was going on. By the way, Ludger. I have a favor I'd like to ask of you, if that's alright."
Histoire's attention then turns to me to which I can only raise my eyebrow discerningly.
"What is it, Histoire?"
"First, allow me to thank you for the pudding. It was delicious. Second, do you think you can assist me with duties around the Basillicom every now and then?"
It seems like a rather standard request. Perhaps a bit TOO standard.
"If you don't mind me asking, why...?"
Histoire heaves a sigh and fashioned a weak smile across her face.
"Well, as you know, Neptune's work ethic can be...pretty much non-existent. And even though Nepgear's been working hard, I'm afraid we're doing at best the bare minimum amount of work to keep Planeptune's Shares at an adequate level."
"Shares?"
I tilt my head to the side in confusion.
Noire answers,
"Shares are essentially the amount of influence a CPU and her nation has all over Gamindustri. Shares are the amount of belief people have in a CPU. The more shares a CPU and her nation has, the more powerful they are. The majority of the Shares are divided between the four nations."
"Ah, I see..."
Basically Shares are what gives CPU's their power, and therefore, keeps their nation's going.
So the future of Planeptune is dependent on how many shares Neptune has.
So this would affect me as well.
Thinking about it for a bit, I scratched my cheek and said,
"I guess I could help but what exactly can I do?"
"It won't be anything complicated and I won't ask you to do it for free either. Any duties I might have for you do will be placed in the form of a job request, similar to the Guilds. Most of the work will likely involve defeating the monsters around Planeptune and I'll be sure to reward you for your work upon completion. More importantly though, I'm hoping you could at least help Nepgear and motivate Neptune to actually do her own work."
Histoire must have it really tough the way she explained it. At this point, I probably can't refuse under those circumstances, especially while watching Neptune play games.
If that's what she's been doing every day her whole life then it's some terrifying miracle this country's still standing at all.
"Umm, I'll try my best but I don't think I can whip Neptune into shape if you can't."
I answered Histoire honestly. There's no way I could ever lecture Neptune exactly quite like Histoire can. I don't think I'd want to if I could anyways.
Histoire looked like she was thinking seriously for a moment, then as if a light bulb turned on inside her, said,
"I know. Neptune really enjoyed eating your pudding. Perhaps you can motivate her by cooking up something for her as a reward?"
"Bribing Neptune with food...That might actually work."
"For once, I agree with you there."
Noire nods her head with half-opened eyes.
I still had one more question to ask Histoire before I could accept,
"Umm, but why me? Surely, you'd find more people capable than me to do the work you need, right?"
HIstoire's answer was not quite what I expected.
"...We've already been through all of them."
"Huh?"
"It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that we've hired every Guild Member to assist us at least once. However, for one reason or another, we end up letting them go."
I gulped back a large amount of saliva and hesitantly asked,
"I'm almost too scared to ask but...those reasons are...?"
"Well, there are times they'd quit because they're being overworked, and those we had to let go when their services became too costly. There are those who weren't efficient enough to meet our needs and those who were so efficient that it only seems to promote Neptune's laziness. Then we get the types who are essentially Purple-Heart fanboys and they're..."
"Okay, okay, I think I get it!"
I immediately stopped Histoire at the mention of the word 'fanboy'. I didn't want to hear anymore than that.
Normally when the topic of fanboys are mentioned coming close to the object of their affection in a situation like this, it usually leads to a mountain of weird, uncomfortable stories that'll leave me awkward in a lot of ways for the rest of my life.
"Oh! That reminds me!"
Histoire abruptly shouted.
"I remember a year back, there was this one Guild agent, who was arguably the best candidate I ever met. He performed every task efficiently and even cleaned up the monsters that was meant only for CPUs. During his time here, Planeptune's Shares were higher than it's ever been."
"...What happened to him?"
"Unfortunately, he did his job so well that Neptune ended up doing no work at all and she spent every day, lazing around, eating snacks and playing video games. Naturally, he got so fed up with Neptune's behavior that he up and left, never to return. Since then, he no longer comes to the Basillicom and would immediately reject any job request that the Basillicom would send to him, regardless of the circumstances."
"That's an unfortunate story. Rather, I feel bad for that guy..."
One can only imagine the frustration to work for such a lazy goddess.
...Huh, that reminds me of a story...
About a year ago, Julius came home from work with a really scary look on his face.
Honestly, it was my first time ever seeing Julius so angry. Actually, that may have been my first time seeing Julius angry at all.
Of course, Julius hid that anger when he spoke to me. He didn't raise his voice and his eyes looked kind like he always did.
I asked what was wrong and he simply replied, 'I just had a rough day at work today' and quickly dropped the subject. I felt I shouldn't ask anymore than that afterwards.
Man, that was a scary day.
Could it be...?
No, it couldn't. What am I thinking...?
I scratched the back of my head, looked at Histoire and said,
"I guess I can at least give it a try and see what happens. I'm new to this kind of work anyways so it might be good to get experience like this as soon as possible."
Hearing my answer, Histoire claps her hands with delight.
"Oh, wonderful. I'm glad you agreed. I feel like I could breathe much easier with you on board, Ludger. I'll be counting on you from now on. Please wait, while I make this official."
Histoire sits there in place. Her eyes looked like a possessed doll as it was vacantly staring into some kind of unknown space.
And then...
[You have gained the title 'Neptune's Babysitter' and 'Chump'!]
What the hell is that!? More importantly, what the hell is with those titles!? I get the babysitter part considering that's pretty much what the job description is but the second one is just downright insulting!
Noire flashes a funny smile at me. She looked like she was ready to laugh her head off.
"So you're Neptune's new babysitter now? This'll be fun..."
Julius, it feels like my life is subtly spiraling out of my control. What should I do?
...Wait a minute, he's alive. I'll just ask him when I get home.
Skits:
Neptune and Ludger
Neptune: Hmm...
Ludger: Neptune...are you actually thinking right now?
Neptune: Hey, what's that supposed to mean? You know I can use my brain when I want to...I just don't want to most of the time.
Ludger: Yeah, yeah...so what's on your mind right now?
Neptune: Hmm well I was just thinking if I should have two regular size puddings for dessert or one giant pudding for dessert.
Ludger: They're both puddings?
Neptune: They can only be pudding!
Ludger: I fail to see what the problem is here...
Neptune: Huh? You don't get it? Two regular sized or one large! The quantity! Quantity! Which one has the most pudding so I can enjoy it more! Should I go for a huge portion or double it up with two regular portions! Which one gets me more pudding! Answer me that, Ludger?
Ludger: If you're just aiming for the most amount of pudding, why not just get both?
Neptune: *gasp* You're right! Why didn't I realize it sooner! That's as big as both those two combined! Double the pudding! You're a genius, Ludger!
Ludger: Please start using that brain of yours just a little bit more.
Neptune: By the way, what's for dinner, Ludger? I'm starving!
Ludger: ...
Nepgear's Skirt
Ludger: Nepgear, can I ask you something?
Nepgear: Yes? What is it?
Ludger: It's about your outfit.
Nepgear: It's cute, right? This is actually my favorite outfit.
Ludger: It looks nice but doesn't it get in the way though?
Nepgear: What do you mean?
Ludger: I mean, the skirt's so short, if you were to jump or fight, people might be able to see what's under, you see.
Nepgear:...Huh?
Ludger: What?
Nepgear: W-W-W-W-WHAT!? I-Is that true!?
Ludger: W-Wait, you mean you never knew!?
Nepgear: I-It's the first I heard of it! Neptune! Is what Ludger saying true?!
Neptune: Huh? Yeah, totally! I mean, we all knew.
Nepgear: Y-You knew this whole time!?
Neptune: Yep. Yessir! I knew it all along! In fact, whenever you get set as the Party Leader and the camera is shifted to just the right angle, the player can catch a glimpse of your panties like a total pervo.
Nepgear: I-I can't believe it! You suck, Neptune! Waaaaaaaaaaahh!
Ludger: N-Nepgear! S-She ran away...
Neptune: Aw, Nepgear. My cute little sister, getting all flustered from talking with a guy.
Ludger: No, no, no, that's definitely NOT the problem here!
Noire and Rollo
Noire: Huh? What do we have here?
Rollo: Meow...
Noire: It looks like Ludger left his cat here.
Rollo: Meow...
Noire:...
Rollo: Meow...?
Noire:...It doesn't look like Ludger will be coming back anytime soon. Alright...
Rollo: Meow?
Noire: H-Hey, is it okay if I...pet you? Just for a little bit.
Rollo: Meow!
Noire: A-Alright then, please excuse me...
Rollo: Meow...
Noire: W-Wow, you have some really soft fur...A nice squishy belly...Ohh, what amazingly soft paw pads you have...
Rollo: Meow.
Noire: M-Meow...
Rollo: Meow...
Noire: M-Meow, Meow, Meow...
Rollo: Meow, Meow, Meow...
Noire: Oh, such nice paw pads. If only I could feel this softness every day, I'd...
Ludger: Rollo! Your food's ready! Come and get i-Bwahh, Noire!
Noire: L-Ludger!?
Ludger: I...I, uh...Oh boy, this is awkward. Didn't expect to walk in to that...Umm, I'll uh...This food...This food is Rollo's. Make...Make sure he eats it, okay? I'll uh, I'll go over there and...and uh, do stuff for a while so...ta-take your time!
...
Noire:...Ka...
Rollo: Meow?
Noire: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Blanc and Ludger
Ludger: It's a pleasure to meet you, Blanc
Blanc: Likewise...
Ludger:...
Blanc:...
Ludger:...
Blanc:...
Ludger: (This silence is rather awkward. I should probably say something to break the ice)
Ludger: Umm...
Blanc: You're good at cooking, right?
Ludger: H-Huh? Y-Yeah, I suppose I am.
Blanc: And you're good at house chores too?
Ludger: I've done more than my fair share at home.
Blanc: How are you at taking care of kids?
Ludger: I've never done it before but I'm willing to try.
Blanc: Okay then how about twins?
Ludger: These questions are getting more and more specific. What's going on?
Blanc: I've been looking for a new babysitter to look after my little sisters, Ram and Rom after their old one got eaten by a monster. You seem to fit most of the qualifications I'm looking for in a candidate so you're hired.
Ludger: Wait, when did this become a job interview?!
Vert and Ludger
Vert: It's a pleasure to meet you, Ludger.
Ludger: Y-Yes, same here.
Vert:...
Ludger: Umm, is there something on my face?
Vert: Oh no, nothing like that but...Ludger, you wouldn't happen to have an older sibling, would you?
Ludger: Y-Yes! How did you know?!
Vert: Ufu, I knew it. Call it intuition but you had that scent of a younger sibling about you.
Ludger: I-I never knew such a scent even existed.
Vert: So? Is it an older sister or brother?
Ludger: A brother.
Vert: Ah, I see, an older brother. Well then, Ludger, how would you like to have an older sister?
Ludger: Huh?
Vert: And I'll take you in as my little brother from now on. Ufu, now I have a younger sibling to call my own. And a little brother too. Even the other CPUs don't have little brothers. Finally, a cute little sibling all to my own. Don't worry, Ludger, if there's anything troubling you, please feel free to come to your older sister for help. Anything. at. all.
Ludger: Vert, you're scaring me.