Chapter 5
Danville, USA
July 4, 2014
I-F. Those two letters had always held special significance for Isabella, for, together, the word they formed was always festering in her mind. If only she could find a way to show Phineas her true feelings. If only he accepted her love. If only he returned it. If only they could be together. If only she could be certain. If. Long ago she had made the connection that those two letters also framed the initials she hoped her name would one day bear: IF; Isabella Flynn. For many years she had wondered whether this striking coincidence would ever become reality—if only she could become Isabella Flynn. Now, sitting so close to Phineas their shoulders and elbows kept brushing, how strange it was now to finally know for certain.
She had never expected to learn the answer the way she had, straight from the mouth of a platypus; especially with Phineas present to learn of their future together as well. Nevertheless, even though things between them had been a little rough at first, and despite the eventuality of actually getting married to him was still a matter far away, she was happy. What was more, after the events of today, her friendship with him was stronger than ever. The stars had truly aligned in her favor. And she hadn't even had a chance to analyze the rest of the news she'd heard about her future—one day she would become the President of the United States!
Isabella couldn't help feeling like a queen. She melted inwardly as her mind ran over all the events of today again. After the accident at the parade, she, Phineas and Ferb were nearly kidnapped by a blonde woman in an ice cream truck. Had it not been for PJ, the mysterious talking platypus from the future, they could have been in serious trouble. Then came the part that had almost frightened her to death, when PJ all but told Phineas of her feelings for him. It had taken him some time to come around, but finally, all her dreams had come true and she had her moment with the boy she adored. And that memory sent her head spinning back to the clouds once again.
Currently they were eating a late lunch, all of the group seated at a bench beneath a shady tree, surrounded by hordes of picnickers like themselves, none of whom gave the children any heed. Buford was spitting watermelon seeds at passersby while Ferb listened to Phineas and Baljeet discuss the historical events surrounding the American War for Independence. Isabella was content to soak in the moment and let the others talk, so she quietly built small triangle and circle shapes on her plate out of her macaroni salad. For the millionth time in the last hour, she thought back to that conversation she and Phineas had had standing alone backstage, and replayed it yet again in her mind's eye.
It was all so wonderful! She was so lost in her own happiness that it was easy to forget all about the fact that that blonde haired lady with the ice cream truck was still after them. It was easy to forget all those times Phineas hadn't paid attention to her or comprehended her cues. It was so easy to forget about everything that had happened except that one moment, that one moment today, alone with Phineas, his eyes never leaving hers, her body drifting closer toward his like the bliss of a pleasant dream—except, finally, this time was real, and it was everything she'd ever hoped it would be…
In another sector of the park, Candace had accompanied her mother and father back to the pie eating contest. The impetuous teenager looked rather glum at the moment, prompting her mother to inquire, "What's the matter, Candace?"
She sighed. "I'm bored."
"Well," Linda said thoughtfully, "why don't you go find Jeremy? Weren't you with him earlier?"
"Yeah, but he's watching Suzy right now," Candace shrugged. "I prefer not to hang out with him when she is around."
"Oh, Candace," waved Linda, "she can't be that bad."
"Can't be that bad?! Mom, she's evil!"
"Right. Just like how the boys are always 'building' stuff."
"Exactly! It's only when nobody is looking that she shows her true colors!"
Linda shook her head sympathetically. "Candace, she's just a little girl. She is not evil."
The red-headed daughter crossed her arms. "Fine. Believe what you want."
"Why don't you hang out with Stacy, then?"
"Hey," Candace lit up. "That's not a bad idea! I haven't seen Stacy all day!" Jumping to her feet, she made to leave.
"Make sure to be back before dark! Or you'll miss the fireworks!" Linda called.
"Okay Mom!" Candace raced through the crowds, figuring Stacy was probably somewhere close by. However, she hadn't gotten far when she noticed something strange. A woman with neatly curled blonde hair was carrying a wooden crate the size of a large microwave, weaving her way through the concourses toward the center of the park. She didn't know why, but something about this woman sent shivers running down Candace's spine. She decided to follow her and investigate.
The woman was moving purposefully, and the box seemed to be a little too heavy for her. When she was too tired to continue, she merely plopped it onto the grass and stopped to catch her breath. Candace crept slowly closer, wondering what was inside the crate.
After taking a moment to rest, the woman knelt beside a padlock and opened it with a small key. Candace couldn't tell what she was doing after that. The woman's lips were silently moving. It appeared as if she was talking to the box. Thinking that was really strange, Candace tip-toed closer still until she was almost right behind the woman. Here she was near enough to hear lots of scratching noises coming from the crate. Yet before she could guess what it could be, the lid flipped wide open and hundreds of furry creatures spewed out in all directions like lava erupting from a volcano.
Candace screamed. So did practically every other female (except this blonde woman who had brought the crate with her) in the immediate vicinity. For, it turned out, the scratching Candace had heard was mice. Hundreds of them had apparently been crammed into the box and were now gushing out of it unceasingly, scurrying to and fro in every direction.
The chaos was immediate. Candace herself about-faced and ran, as did many others. When only moments ago there had been nothing but the sounds of happy people—ceaselessly droning chatter, carefree laughter, the playful shrieks of galloping children—now the air was filled with screaming and shouting. Some called for help, others cried in fear. But there weren't any who stayed put.
At first, the mice were mainly trying to escape their crammed quarters, but the pandemonium of people frightened them as much as they frightened the people. The mice scurried and scattered randomly all across the park, squeaking and squawking in pain every time they got trampled on in the bedlam. Some ran for the eating area. Frightened diners first threw what food morsels were at hand at the critters, then overturned the chairs and in many cases even the tables on them, so desperate and so hasty was their flight.
Next the hordes of rodents turned toward the games. Here some brave teenagers thought to make a stand by stomping on the pint-sized invaders, but they were quick to falter when unsubstantiated cries of "rabies!" rang from the adults. So they too joined the panicking retreat. Little children who could not run well were picked up and carried. A small band of young kids playing near a blow-up bounce house hoped to find refuge inside, but when the sharp teeth of one mouse pierced the structure, they were swallowed by its collapse and found themselves trapped. The river of mice continued to flood other areas, as well.
Then came the cats. With wicked speed every feline in the city it seemed, from the stray to the trained, converged on the mice. If anyone stopping to watch thought that the commotion would end with the cats catching and eating all the mice, they were wrong. It just meant that there were more claws, teeth, and fur to go around than ever before. The disorder became widespread indeed as everything at or below knee level still remaining at the park was scratched, bitten, clawed, and hissed at. Now cries of pain rent the air in accompaniment to the shouting and screaming that was already by this point regular background din.
One lone figure stood still in the center of the park. The blonde woman, having never flinched since the moment the pests were released, remained unharmed beside the opened crate. Like the calm in the eye of a hurricane, that was the one place no mouse had elected to roam, preferring instead to join the others in dispersing across every possible direction. And although there was now no one around to see, her face twisted in pleasure at the sight of utter mayhem.
A little ways from the park a platypus-sized hovercar zoomed across the sky, its two passengers looking very serious as they approached their destination.
"Okay, how much further to the museum?" PJ asked. Perry pointed straight ahead in response: they were finally there.
After parking behind a grove of trees across the way, the two agents snuck their way into the historical building. Perry made quick work in picking the lock to a simple custodial side-door through which they silently slipped. The museum was closed for the holiday and all the lights were off, but the large glass windows let in plenty of sunlight to illuminate its spacious, yet unnervingly empty, interior. Together they padded through the building, finding no signs of life.
As the platypuses entered a large new corridor, they closely inspected every display they made their way past. The only noise to be heard was the soft pattering of little webbed feet. Towards the far side of the room, a fierce looking full-size T-rex rendered in shockingly life-like plaster stood like a threatening sentinel guarding the doorway into the atrium. Nearby, a femur-shaped fossil sat eight feet tall on a round throne-like pedestal, proudly vaunting its unmatched size. Other fossils lay scattered around the room as well, carefully protecting their secrets beneath layers and layers of rock. Perry and PJ took opposite sides of the room, searching for something relevant. It wasn't until PJ rounded the corner behind the tall fossil that a small room radiating a strange, ethereal glow caught his attention.
"Oi!" It wasn't so much a yell as it was a magnified whisper, as if to refrain from waking the slumbering monsters of history. "Come check this out!"
Perry scampered over and saw PJ pointing at a large, yellow painted metal contraption, with red cushioned seats and an enchanting purple bulb attached to the top. The bulb softly glowed, basking the room in a deep, otherworldly hue. "I don't know about you, but that looks like a time machine to me."
To his side, PJ felt his companion nod, then point at an identifying poster overhead which confirmed their suspicions. "Time Machine," PJ softly read. "Well, if this is really the time machine that the blonde lady arrived here in, then we're in luck. We can take it apart right here so that the assassin won't be able to get away. We'll be able to keep her here, in this time." PJ pointed to the top of the device, still whispering. "You disassemble that purple light bulb, it looks important; I'll remove the lever to really make sure it doesn't work. That way if she tries to leave, she'll be stuck!"
By way of the 'thumbs up' sign, Perry agreed. He leapt up on to the machine as PJ reached out to touch the controls when the silence was shattered.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Both platypuses jumped, only to snicker nervously when they saw it was just Perry's wristwatch communicator. Perry tapped it once and Carl appeared on its tiny screen.
"Agent P!" squeaked the intern, clearly distressed. "The picnic at the park that your owners were at has just been—well, attacked, I think! It's a cat-astrophe!"
"Carl, this isn't the time for jokes!" Monogram pushed his younger, tech-savvy subordinate out of the screen. "Agent P, unfortunately what Carl said is true. For some reason, the park your owners were last known to be at has just been invaded by cats. Lots and lots of cats. Somebody's grandma must have forgotten to shut one of her windows. Anywho, the cats have gone kitty loco, causing everyone to flee the area, and it's the perfect opportunity for an assassin to strike. We cannot guarantee the safety of your owners at this time."
"We lost them, Agent P," Carl whined from off-screen. "We lost them!"
"Agent P," urged Monogram, "you and Agent PJ need to drop whatever it is you are doing, and find those kids before the assassin does!"
The two platypuses looked at each other, both seeing the worry in the other's eyes.
"We gotta disassemble this time machine first," PJ said. "It'll only take a second, then we should hurry and find the kids after." Perry chattered in reply and started untwisting the purple bulb. PJ pulled the lever perpendicular to the direction it was designed to be shifted, and it popped off without difficulty.
"That'll have to do," he said, as Perry landed beside him with his piece. "C'mon, we have to hurry!"
The blonde, curly-haired assassin strolled across the park, admiring her work. She paid no attention to the hissing cats she passed by, knowing that they could do her no harm. The crowds, on the other hand, had scattered completely. She didn't care where they went, whether they piled in cars and sped away or fled on foot through the neighborhoods. All that mattered was driving her quarry out into the open, and she had done that marvelously. It would be much easier to accomplish her task, she reasoned, away from the busy, populated park; especially now that the kids and their animal guardian knew about her. She scoffed at the memory of the talking platypus who had come to their rescue last time she had them in her grasp. An animal agent. Working for the Secret Service. Although they had slipped away last time, she was prepared for them now. And the fact that their pathetic protector was a paltry platypus would make it all the simpler.
Candace puffed heavily as she caught her breath, leaning against a lamppost. She hated rats and mice almost as much as she hated spiders, and was glad to finally be safe. However, her thoughts soon turned to her brothers. What if they hadn't been able to make it out in time? This worried her, and as soon as she could stand upright Candace peeked around the corner she had just high-tailed across.
There weren't any mice or cats in sight, and the coast being clear, she stepped out into the open. Here and there, others who had run away like herself wandered aimlessly by. It looked like most of them were at least with their families, which brought anew her fears regarding her own to the forefront of her mind.
She continued down the street, looking for any sign of someone she recognized. Phineas, Ferb, Stacy, her parents; heck, even Isabella or the Fireside Girls would have been a relief to see. But she didn't find any of them. She doubled her pace and checked the next street over. Still no sign of any of them, and the crowds were quickly thinning. Candace broke into a trot.
On the third street, she quickly located Jeremy comforting a frightened Suzy. As soon as she saw them, Candace approached her boyfriend.
"Jeremy!" she called.
The cool blonde boy turned when he heard his name. "Candace? Are you alright?" The two shared a short embrace before turning to more serious matters.
"I'm alright," Candace explained, "but I'm worried about my brothers. I haven't found them since—" she couldn't find a word that adequately conveyed what just happened. "Since—whatever that was all about—happened."
Jeremy gave her shoulder a comforting pat. "I'm sure your brothers are just fine," he said reassuringly. "If there's anyone who knows how to take care of themselves, it's your brothers."
"Yeah," Candace nodded, "I suppose so."
"Do you know what happened back there?" Jeremy asked.
"I'm not sure," his girlfriend replied. "I did see this woman though. She had a box, and when she opened it, a whole bunch of mice came streaming out." Candace cringed at the memory. "After that, I just remember running. I don't know what is going on."
"Suzy and I were walking past the firework sellers," Jeremy recalled, "when everyone around us started running for their lives like it was a zombie apocalypse. I picked up Suzy and brought her here, but I don't know if it's safe to go back or not."
Candace looked at Suzy, and found at least some satisfaction in seeing she was terrified about the ordeal. The precocious toddler had her head buried into Jeremy's leg, trying her best not to cry. That meant Candace didn't have to worry about her pulling any pranks on her, and who knows? Maybe she could hold this little incident over her misleadingly cute head sometime in the future.
Suddenly, Candace heard something that made her stop and listen. "Do you hear that?"
"What is it?" Jeremy asked, tilting his head the way she was looking.
It was faint, but Candace was sure she heard it again. Without saying another word, she sprinted down the street, dodging occasional stragglers as she went. She cornered at the intersection and heard it again: far away, a faint cry. "Phin! Ee! As!"
She hurried across almost two whole blocks before she found the source. Isabella, who had a great dirty smudge across the knee of her pink dress, was shouting the name at the top of her lungs over and over. "Isabella!" Candace ejaculated the moment she was at her side. "Do you know where my brothers are?"
Isabella shook her head dejectedly. "When everyone around us started running, it was like a stampede. We tried holding hands to stick together," she held a hand up and looked at it dejectedly, "but I couldn't hold on. They could be anywhere by now. I had Phineas right there in my hands, and I let him slip away." She hung her head thoroughly.
"It's okay, Isabella," Candace said, trying to be comforting the same way Jeremy had been. "We'll look for them together." She put a hand on her shoulder, but Isabella brushed it away.
"You don't understand!" she exclaimed, waving her arms frantically. "There is someone after us! A blonde lady! She might have already captured them!"
"Wait, what?"
"Earlier, she tried to kidnap us in an ice cream truck," Isabella explained. "As long as she's on the loose, they aren't safe!"
"Hold on a second," Candace thought aloud. "The woman I saw who created this whole mess by releasing the mice in the first place was blonde. Do you think it was her?"
A chillingly sweet voice sang out in answer from behind them. "What a clever little girl!"
Turning to see who spoke, Candace instantly recognized the blonde curly locks of hair she had followed earlier. The woman was a little taller than she, and was standing close enough to them she could reach out and touch the girls. Now that she was able to properly see the woman's face, Candace had the disturbing feeling that it looked terrifyingly familiar.
The face pulled back in a fiendish smile. "I have been looking everywhere for you," she said to Isabella, her voice dripping in poisonous honey. "I have been wanting to meet you for a very long time now, and we didn't get properly introduced before."
Isabella took a step back, and Candace followed her lead. That allowed the assassin to advance ever so slightly, like a tiger stalking its prey. Trying to sound brave, the Fireside Girl did her best to hide the waver in her voice. "Well I don't want to meet you at all!" she said as forcefully as she could muster.
The woman laughed. It was a high-pitched twitter, almost like the chattering of a bird. "Oh, but I think we could have so much fun together!" she stated. "That is the only reason I came all this way to find you. I have all sorts of games I want you to play with me! And believe me, they are so much fun, you would die." She twittered again. The girls, backpedaling quickly now, were stopped short when their backs bumped into a brick wall.
"Run!" Isabella commanded, shoving Candace down the sidewalk. The teenager got the message and led the way sprinting past the crowds. They rounded a corner and Candace dove behind a dumpster in a narrow alley, pulling Isabella round after her.
"Let's hide here," she panted, doing her best to keep her voice low. Isabella nodded and peeked around the edge of the dumpster.
The street they had turned down was empty, the buildings run-down and neglected. Nobody seemed to have followed them, causing Isabella to sigh with relief.
"She's gone," she said, leaning back against the dumpster to rest.
"Who was that?" asked Candace.
"She's an assassin from the future," explained Isabella. "She is after Phineas, Ferb, and me."
Candace paused to swallow that information. "Whoa," she said. "An assassin, huh? Was it just me, or did she look kind of—"
Suddenly there was a scratching noise, and the two girls jumped. There, standing at the entrance to the alleyway and thus blocking their only way out, was the woman.
"Familiar," Candace droned, as she and Isabella stood to back away.
"Why did you run off?" the assassin grinned. "Don't you want to play with me?"
Isabella bristled. "No! No we don't!"
The assassin pouted. "But we could have so much fun together!" Turning so that her side faced them, she began to pace across the gap. "Why don't you want to play with me? You are just like the other children I grew up with. They never wanted to play with me either." The sugary sweetness never left her voice as she spoke. "Sometimes I would ask them, 'don't you want to play with my dollies?' And they never did. Then when we were older I would ask, 'don't you want to play with my puppy?' And they never would. After a while, I stopped asking, and I have never had a friend to play with me ever since."
Candace couldn't help feeling spellbound by that voice. Before she knew it, she went from feeling scared to feeling sorry for her. "Aww, Isabella, she's not dangerous! She is just looking for a friend." Candace almost took a step forward, but Isabella held out an arm to stop her.
"How do we know you don't want to hurt us?" the wise troop leader demanded.
"Hurt you?" The woman gave her a look of shocked innocence. "What makes you think that I would do something as silly as that?"
"Well, let me think." Isabella put her hand to her chin in a mock gesture. "Oh, that's right. You tried to kidnap me and my friends when you tied us up and drove off in that ice cream truck!"
The blonde assassin gasped. "No, you misunderstood! You see, I had a surprise planned for you and your friends, and I wanted to take you to it! I wasn't trying to kidnap you!"
As if by some sorcery, the woman's voice had a bewitching spell on her listeners. Isabella began to wonder if she really had jumped to conclusions earlier. After all, this woman did seem pretty nice. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all?
Candace took a mesmerized step forward. "See, Isabella? She just wants us to play with her. I think we should listen to her."
Isabella shook her head to clear it. "Maybe you're right," she admitted.
"Yes," cooed the woman. "I am your friend. I won't hurt you." Isabella and Candace inched closer, trancelike. "Come, my children, come. That's it. Just a little closer." She held out a hand, and the girls reached forward as one to touch it.
CRASH!
Candace and Isabella were knocked backward by something, both falling hard onto the ground. Isabella squinted through the stars popping over her eyes to see a metal cage now standing where they had been just moments before. Curiously, inside the cage were two teal shapes; yet before she could discern more, her focus receded into darkness. The last sensation she could consciously register was the ringing sound of a woman's evil cackle.
She couldn't tell whether seconds or hours passed. But when Isabella jolted awake, Phineas was there, and that was what mattered.
"Isabella!" he said with that smile he always wore. "I'm so glad you're okay!" Ferb was as ever at his side, and Candace was nearby, too.
Isabella rubbed her aching head. "What happened?"
Phineas and Ferb looked at Candace, who seemed to be the one best suited to explain.
"Well, at first, it was really confusing. I saw two platypuses who both looked like Perry trapped in a cage that was supposed to be for us," she gestured between herself and Isabella. "I guess you guys know who they were?"
"It must have been PJ," Phineas said. "Candace told us about the assassin. I think PJ was doing his job protecting you, Isabella. But I don't know what Perry was doing with him."
"The assassin lady must not have realized what happened," Candace said. "She just grabbed the cage and drove off with it. PJ—who is apparently a talking platypus that I did not even know existed until just now—must have knocked us out of the way when it came down, and he and Perry must have got trapped inside instead of us. I couldn't follow her to see where she went because I had to watch over you. Lucky the boys found us not long after."
Phineas nodded in agreement. Apparently he, Ferb and Candace had gone through this whole conversation already.
"But," Isabella said, a horrified look crossing her face, "that means she has Perry and PJ!"
A somber silence enclosed them. Phineas gave her a concerned look. "Isabella, you're hurt. I don't want you to worry about PJ and Perry."
"I'm fine!" Isabella retorted. She tried to stand to prove it, but the movement gave her a splitting headache. So she gingerly sat upright instead.
"Okay, maybe I'm not a hundred percent," she admitted. "But, what are we going to do?"
Phineas grinned. "PJ is smart. He left us a breadcrumb." Reaching into his pocket, he extracted an uncharacteristically purple light bulb. "Any idea where this came from?"
Isabella's eyes went wide. "The time machine at the museum! PJ figured it out! She must have come here in it!" She tried to stand in excitement, but stumbled and groaned at the pain still throbbing in her head.
"Stay still, you need to rest," Phineas compassionately told her, and she obeyed. "Don't you worry about our ornithorhyncan friends," he said. "We have a plan to rescue them."
"A plan?" Isabella asked.
"That's right."
"But what if it's a trap?!"
"That's a chance we're going to have to take, Isabella. That's why we are going to leave you here with Candace where it's safe."
Candace upstarted at that. "Oh, no, you two are not going into the lion's den without me! I'm still in charge, remember?"
"But Candace," orated Phineas, "if you don't stay and help Isabella, then who will? Perry is our pet, but he's not just our pet! He's our family! We need to help him! You would do the same thing for us!"
Candace sighed in defeat. "You're right."
Isabella wanted to resist, but the pain in her head was too much. "But what are you guys going to do?"
Phineas bent down and hugged her, surprising everybody. "Just trust us."