Stef washed out their plates and glasses and put the left overs back into the fridge before heading upstairs. She first went to the girls' room to check on Callie and found her putting her pajamas on. Stef waited for Callie to get done and then tucked her into bed before sitting down next to her and brushing her hair off her forehead.
"Are you okay love?" Stef asked softly.
Callie nodded.
"Are you sure?" Stef clarified, wanting Callie to tell her if she wasn't.
Once again Callie nodded silently.
"We're just a room away." Stef reminded her with a small smile.
"I know." Callie whispered.
"Okay good. Good night, I love you." She said, kissing the end of Callie's nose before leaving.
When Stef walked into her own room she expected to find Lena asleep or at least in bed, reading but when she found the room empty she sighed and headed to the bathroom. There, she found Lena in the shower stall, water pouring down her body, one hand holding the wall for support and the other holding her head as she cried. Stef opened the door and turned off the shower before wrapping a large towel around Lena and pulling her out of the stall.
"Honey." She said she she pulled Lena into a hug, not caring that her own clothes were getting soaked.
When Lena finally stopped crying and pulled away Stef studied her face.
"It's two thirty in the morning honey, you have work in the morning." Stef reminded her gently.
"You can't just take off on them like that Stef." Lena said, ignoring Stef's comment.
"I'm sorry love." Stef said.
"They've already been abandoned before, it's not fair to them." Lena reminded her.
"I was always coming back Lena." Stef said. "They need to learn that - we're always coming back."
"It's a hard lesson to learn." Lena said, wiping her eyes.
Stef couldn't bear to see Lena crying so she leaned in and kissed Lena and was relieved when Lena leaned in and kissed her back. The two stood like that for a good ten minutes just kissing and holding each other until Stef felt goosebumps on Lena's back and arms.
"Let's get you dressed." Stef said as she pulled away from Lena.
The two of them quickly changed into pajamas and crawled into bed and Lena instantly curled up to Stef's side while Stef just held her. Both were too tired to do anything further but just being in each other's arms was enough.
They were just drifting to sleep when they heard their doorknob turn and Callie poke her head in.
"Come on in love." Stef said warming.
Lena was about to move away to make room for Callie but Stef went with her, she wanted to be in the middle tonight, holding both her girls. Callie crawled into Stef's side of the bed and bring her face in Stef's neck and was immediately wrapped up in Stef's arm and when Callie casually draped an arm across Stef's stomach Lena held on to it.
Soon they feel the girl shaking slightly, indicating that she was crying.
"What's wrong love?" Stef asked her as she tried to move Callie enough so she could see her face.
"I made both of you leave." Callie said miserably. "Both of you have left because of me."
"But both of us came back." Stef said. "Honey, we get mad or sad or whatever but we're always coming back."
"But no one else ever sent you two away." Callie mumbled. "That's just me - it's always my fault."
"Honey, no one has struggled the way you have." Lena said gently. "No one has been through all the things that you've been through and it's not been that hard for them to adjust. We understand that it's not easy for you. But we're just human too, sometimes we need ways to just let it all out. We left because we didn't want to take it out on you - but we never left you."
"I don't want to be like this." Callie said miserably. "I just want to be normal." She sounded so tired and both moms knew that she was trying.
"We know love." Stef said, holding Callie close. "We want that too and we're working on it. You'll get there. It's not that hard."
"It feels hard." Callie whined. "It sounds so easy to say 'just eat' but sometimes it feels as difficult as if someone says 'fly'. I can't do it, it's so hard. It sounds like I'm just being stubborn but I'm not." She was crying again but neither mom knew what to do.
"We'll figure something out." Lena said, stroking Callie's arm as Stef pulled her closer still so that her head was on her chest.
"You know how I said it was because I was losing control?" Callie asked, looking up at Stef and Stef nodded. "I'm losing control of this too." She admitted. "At first it was just to make you mad but then it became something more. I need to be stronger to take control of it."
Stef thought for a moment, wondering how she could help. "Honey, I don't want to scare you and I want you to remember that if it does come to that you won't be alone but if you go on like this then we're going to have to hospitalize you." Stef said. "You need the nutrients somehow and if that's the only way you get them then we'll have no choice. We are trying our best to go around that but I want you to know that it's a possibility and it seems to be getting closer."
Both moms felt Callie stiffen as she listened to Stef and both of them held on to her a little tighter.
"We're gonna be with you through it." Lena said again. "You will not be left there alone, we'll bring you back when it's over."
"We aren't there yet." Stef said, not wanting to upset the girl further. "We've still got a little time to work it out ourselves and we're all going to try really hard to do that. Even when it's hard, even when we're mad we're gonna push through."
"Did you eat dinner?" Lena asked softly, wondering how far they really were from hospitalization.
Callie nodded but Stef verbalized the answer.
"She ate more than half a piece of chicken and quite a few of the vegetables." Stef told Lena.
Lena felt herself relax. "That's a start right?" She said encouragingly.
"It is." Stef agreed, smiling down and Callie and receiving a small smile in return. "And it's also way past your bed time and I think we all could use some sleep." She said as she pulled the blankets up around them tighter, kissing each one on the head and watching as both of them closed their eyes. Soon both Lena and Callie were asleep but Stef couldn't stop thinking about Callie and though she was absolutely exhausted she kept trying to figure out a way to help her.