A/N: Just so y'all know I changed the place where Naruto supposedly says he's from. This changes the AU a bit, but it's nothing big.
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Dear Ma and Pa,
I don't like school here on earth. It's only my second day and I can already tell I'm going to have a very hard time fitting in. Everyone here seems so...unwelcoming. And I got in trouble here already too, but I'm sure you were expecting that to happen! Guess even if you put me on a different planet, I'll still be a troublemaker! The only thing is, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I swear. The teacher must've been having a bad day or something.
Anyways, I want to tell you about how weird the people are on earth. They say one thing, but then they mean another! Like today, before the teacher sent me out of the class, she called me a smart ass. If I'm so smart, why'd she kick me out?!
And then another time, my new friend (or so I think he is) Kiba called this guy who was picking on me sour. I'm pretty sure he's never actually tasted him though...I think he just meant that he's not nice...maybe sour has two meanings? I'm not sure.
But if there's one thing I dislike the most about school, it's the guys that call me names. They're rude, and down right cruel, and they called me stupid! And when I tried telling them I'm not they just looked away and kept talking to each other like I wasn't even there! It made me so mad! Can you believe there are actual people like this?
Well, all I know is that if they call me stupid again, I'm calling it war!
Sincerely, your son,
Naruto
p.s
Sorry for the short letter, I have a lot of reports to write on human interaction!
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"Naruto, there's a very pretty lady who wants to meet you!"
I put down my pencil and go downstairs. By the time I'm half way down the steps, I see a woman with skin whiter than polar bear fur and eyes darker than coal. Usually, Jiraiya would tower over people on our planet, but even the women here are a few inches taller than him, and from what I know, women are supposed to be shorter than men. And this woman has got to be the tallest woman I've ever seen since I've gotten here. She's probably about 5 inches taller than Jiraiya.
She greets me with a warm smile, I shake her hand, and she introduces herself.
She looks an awful lot like someone I've seen in my school...
"I'm Mikoto Uchiha", she says sweetly. "You can call me Mikoto-chan"
I smile at her hospitality.
Why can't the people here be more like her?
"I would usually try and get at least my son to come and visit our new neighbors, but he's...difficult sometimes", she says hesitantly. "He's not very fond of people. My husbands not good with socializing either"
I chuckle nervously. "Oh, it's fine. I'm sure I'll meet him someday"
She's so pretty...like the girls they put on magazines at the bookstore downtown.
"Maybe you already know him. Do you go to Konoha Academy?"
"Yeah", I say sounding not as thrilled as she suspected.
"My son is Sasuke Uchiha. You might recognize him if you see him in the halls tomorrow. He looks a lot like me"
Wait a minute…that boy with the duck-butt hair...he's...he's her son?!
I try to stay calm, but with all the thoughts running through my head, it's hard to.
Does she know her son is a complete bastard!? How can someone this nice raise someone so cold? He's so rude that he won't even listen to his girlfriend when she talks to him!
"Are you okay?", Jiraiya asks as if I'm sick. "You're turning a little red, you usually don't get this flustered, even if you are around good looking women"
"I...um", I sputter nervously.
I look into her worried midnight eyes one last time before scrambling up the stairs like a startled deer to get to my bedroom.
It was a cowardly thing to do, I know, but I'd never been in a situation so uncomfortable and awkward before. It was like I was tempted to say something but I didn't know what to say because there were just too many things to say and too many things that could've gone wrong if I'd said them.
I felt stuck. Really really stuck.
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An hour later, there's a knock on my door. I know it's either Jiraiya orTsunade, but knowing the two of them for so long, it was probably baa-chan if she was back from walking around town doing who-knows-what.
"Hey squirt", she says in her usual playful tone when she tries to get me to listen to her. "Open the door. I just wanna talk to you"
Baa-chan isn't actually that old, but she's getting there. She's almost 2,500 years old, but she looks like she's only a few hundred years older than me. It's amazing, really. I hope when I'm her age I look as good as she does.
"I'm sorry, now is not a good time"
If there's one thing baa-chan doesn't like to hear, it's the word "no". So as I suspected, she violently kicked down my door. She's nice, but impatient and terrifyingly strong. Most people on my planet would view her as "someone with slightly aggressive tendencies " or "a person who you shouldn't upset", but after being on this planet for two days, I can't say she's the worst person I've come into contact with.
"You broke my door", I grumble.
"It's not like you were going to open it for me"
"Because I know what you want to talk to me about"
She sighs, sits on my bed, and puts her arm on my shoulder the way my mother would.
"Listen, what Jiraiya told me when I came home was actually pretty shocking. And since we're so close, nothing anyone tells me about you should surprise me", she says in a serious tone. "But given the situation I think it's time we have the talk"
"About what?"
She sighs, as if she's about to give me the lecture on my life.
"I'm not sure if your parents have talked to you about...puberty, but-"
Before she could even continue, I cut her off.
"Whoa! Are we really going to have this conversation?!", I ask worriedly.
I know what puberty is, and I know now is the age where I'd usually start hitting it, but I'd already learned about this kind of stuff in school on my home planet. I know how babies are made, and I know that I'm going to begin to smell and maybe get a little taller and have a bunch of...urges. So why would I need to have this talk again?
"Fine, I'll get right to the point then. Jiraiya thought you ran upstairs because you were getting an erection"
I gasped at how casually she said it. I'd never imagined having a conversation like this with her. I liked it better when we shared lab reports back at home and talked about all the weird animals and plants that live on this planet. Not this kind of stuff. This kind of stuff I didn't even talk about with close friends.
"He-he...he said that?!", I ask before looking down at my crotch quickly.
"Yes...he did", she says as she begins to blush violently.
"But that's not what was wrong!", I say in defense. "The real reason I was upset was because-"
I close my mouth before finishing.
"Was because?"
She looks at me with a concern I'd never seen before.
"Because she's the mother of this kid at school who's friends with people that aren't...so nice to me"
"Is he mean to you?", she asks growing overprotective. "Because if he is I swear I will-"
"No, he's not mean to me!", I say quickly. "He's just kind of...passive and looks at me like I'm some kind of...germ or something"
She frowns. "Well screw him and his friends", she says with folded arms. "And if he stares at you funny, you stare right back at him!", she adds.
"Thanks, baa-chan", I murmur. "Now can you please leave so I can finish my report?"
She sighs, and slowly gets off my bed. "Just remember", she begins. "You didn't spend most of your life learning the language of these people to make friends. You came here to interact and observe, not to please people or be liked by people. Don't let anyone or anything distract you from your work. Especially since you've been training for this for nearly 500 years"
As lonely as what she said was, she was right. I didn't need friends, and I shouldn't care if I have enemies either. It's not like I'm going to be on earth forever anyway. But my only concern is that I might end up regretting not making any friends here, even if I will eventually have to leave.
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Walking into my first period class felt weird. The teacher watched me as I worked silently with the chunky boy next to me who was explaining a word problem with a mouthful of potato chips. In all honesty, I didn't need him to explain anything to me, and I didn't need to see the mashed up food in his mouth either. Do these earthlings not have manners?
"I appreciate your willingness to explain this to me", I say casually. "But it's not necessary"
"You sure?", he asks nearly spitting some chewed up specks at my face.
"Positive"
I end up finishing all the problems before him and explaining the one's he doesn't understand. A few classmates are watching me, as if I'm the new teacher and they're the students who are willing to learn. Either that, or they're just waiting for me to mess up.
"I never thought of it that way", he says as he looks at the problem with much more ease. "I didn't think you were as good at math as you said you were yesterday, but now that you've showed me a different way to solve these problems, it's become so much easier"
"Yeah Naruto, it's like you're some kind of math wiz", Ino says as she leans over my shoulder and copies my answers.
Luckily, the teacher wasn't watching. She'd clearly given up on keeping her eyes on me since her eyes were now focused on a little blue book with a title that sounded far from interesting.
"Are you sure those are right, Ino?", her partner asks in an untrusting voice. "The way he's teaching him those equations is slightly different from the way the teacher-"
"He's right", a small voice whispers.
I turn to the shy girl who quietly stood up for me. She doesn't make eye contact with anyone, and looks down at her paper as she speaks barely above a whisper.
She looks a little like that jerk I met yesterday...is she his sister? I sure hope not. She's too nice to have to put up with someone like that.
"I-I did it the teacher's way a-and got the same answer for number eight"
"Well if Hinata says it's right, then it's gotta be right", Chouji agrees. "Way to go uh...Nagato?"
"Naruto", I correct him.
"Sorry, I'm just as bad with names as I am with math", he says with a smile.
I didn't really know what he meant by that, but he was smiling at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. He's the second person to smile at me since I've gotten here, and that's a reason to smile by itself.
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Second period I have Science class with the shy girl from my math class. I didn't even notice we had the same second period together until she sneezed behind me when I walked in. It was a high-pitched, but nearly silent sneeze that reminded me of her voice. Barely noticeable, but recognizable.
We ended up being lab partners, and I decided I might as well try getting to know her. At first, she would turn red and nearly drop a piece of lab equipment every time I asked her a question, like what her favorite subject was or what her name is, but after a while, she got used to me.
"Relax a little bit", I advise her.
I could tell that saying this didn't help much, so I tried getting physical.
"It's okay if the measurement isn't exact", I say as I help her pour the beaker into the mixing glass by holding onto her shaking hand. "Afterall, I'm sure she's not expecting this to be perfect"
She stops shaking, and she finishes pouring the substance into the cup. I gently put my hand on her shoulder, and I feel her stiffen at the touch.
"See, everything's easier when you stay calm"
And then, as if my hand shot lethal poison into her body, she faints. Once again, I'd caused some sort of situation where everyone's eyes end up being on me. But the eyes don't stay on me for long when the teacher rushes over to help the fallen student.
Something tells me that even though all I did was try and be friendly with her, what happened to her is all my fault.
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"Heard you were next to my cousin when she fainted"
I close my locker, and turn around to face the person behind me. "Is she okay?"
Why is that jerk from yesterday talking to me? I thought he didn't like men or my "annoying" voice!
"Is she okay?", he asks in a much harsher tone.
"I-I don't know", I say as I look around.
The halls are pretty much empty, and by now, I'm sure we're both late to our next period class.
"She just fainted after she poured something into a mixing glass", I say nervously. "And I swear it wasn't my fault!", I add in defense.
"Keep your voice down", he orders. "There's no reason to be so loud"
I tense up from the icy tone in his voice.
"Did anything happen that might've caused her to faint?"
I think carefully.
"No, she was in my first period class and she was completely fine. Next thing I know, I put my arm on her shoulder and she falls to the floor like she's been hit"
"You touched her?"
There's a feeling of surprise in his voice, and not the good kind. At least that's what I think.
"Yeah, it wasn't anything serious I was just...letting her know she did a good job. Like a um...pat on the back!"
He narrows his eyes at me like I've shrank to the size of a grain of sand, then looks me up and down like I've done something suspicious, and walks away without even saying good-bye.
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On the short walk from school to my house, I can't help but feel like I'm being followed. I look behind me about fifteen times just to make sure I'm not being stalked on my way home, but each time I turn around, no one's there.
Maybe I'm just a little paranoid. There are so many busy people in this big village, why would anyone take interest in stalking me?
I decided after a few more minutes of walking that no one was following me, and as the sun began to set, I couldn't help but want to sit on edge of the boardwalk next to whoever it was at the end of it. After the day I'd had, I just wanted to put my feet in the water and watch the sun set. And so, I headed off to the little wooden walkway.
As I approach closer to the end of the boardwalk, the person sitting at the tip of it turns around and faces me with an annoyed look. That's when I realize, the annoyed, grumpy looking person at the edge on the boardwalk is none other than Sasuke Uchiha. And at this moment, I can't even form words. All I can do is stare at him.
Eventually he turns away and looks back at the lake. "What are you doing here?", he asks.
His voice is deep and bone chilling just like the guy with the grey eyes who came to my locker today. Only Sasuke's voice is much more intimidating.
"I just wanted to look at the sunset", I say quietly. "I have the same right to be here as you do"
He snorts. "Get lost"
I don't know why he'd want me to "get lost", but in a village this big, it wouldn't be that hard.
"Why?", I ask as I step closer to the spot where he's sitting.
"What part of get lost do you not understand?", he asks with anger in his voice.
"I don't want to get lost I want to sit and watch the sunset", I say growing impatient. "And incase you weren't aware, I'm your neighbor, which means I'll be seeing you a lot, so we might as well get along"
"Don't even think about sitting next to me", he snaps. "I spend most of my school day sitting next to idiots, I don't want to spend the end of my day like that too"
It took me a minute to understand what idiot he was talking about and where he was, but then I realized that idiot was me.
"Are you calling me an idiot?!", I yell.
"Yes, and I'm not surprised it took you that long to figure it out", he says boredly. "I guess it's true what they say about people from Kusagakure. They really are the dumbest out of all the villages"
Without even thinking of the consequences I run over to the edge of the dock and push him in. There's a small splash from the impact, and I try to regain my balance, since I nearly fell off the edge trying to push him in the lake. Unfortunately, I'm not so lucky, and I quickly fall in after him. When he's done coughing and trying to catch his breath, I'm not surprised by what happens next.
"What the hell is your problem?!", he yells as he lunges towards me, using all his weight to push me under the water.
After fighting him to keep my head above water until the sky is close to midnight blue, he finally gives up.
"Are you crazy?!"
"I ought to ask you the same thing!", he snapped.
For what felt like a while, we stood in the lake silently.
"I'm sorry", I finally say.
Still, he doesn't respond. All I can hear is the sound of the water.
"It's getting dark", I comment quietly.
"Thanks for pointing that out. I had no idea"
I can't tell if he's actually thanking me, or if he really had no clue that it was getting pretty dark, but I figured it would be best to be kind to him to prevent him from attacking me again.
"You're welcome", I say kindly. "But I can't believe you didn't notice how dark it is"
"Do you not understand sarcasm?", he asks.
"What's sarcasm?"
He groans at my question. "Your stupidity might kill you one day"
"And your icy heart might freeze up the whole damn lake but here I am, just trying to be nice to you while you insult me!"
I wasn't sure why I'd said that, but a scientist once told me that the worst thing anyone on earth could have is a "cold heart". I didn't know how a heart could be "cold", or better yet, freeze an entire lake, but I certainly didn't care at a time like this.
Again, there's a silence.
"I'm going to go home", he replies.
I can barely see him now, but I could hear the sound of the water swishing, so I knew he was moving away from me.
"And when I see you in school tomorrow, I'm going to make sure you pay for this"
"But I'm broke", is what I wanted to say, but then I remembered: sometimes it's best to not say anything at all.