"My, you all look gloomy." Monogram said.
None of the agents looked at him. They continued to sulk on the agency's meeting table.
"Nothing to have a frowny-face about." Monogram said. "Just because I'm retiring after many years of work with each and every one of you… oh. Well, anyway, don't be glum! Sandra Synonym will do wonderfully."
Synonym smiled at the animals.
Perry glared at her.
"I know." Monogram said. "Let's play a get-to-know-one-another game. Sandra will get to know you, and you will all get to know Sandra."
None of the animals moved.
"It's mandatory." Monogram said grumpily. "Now sit down on the floor. That's an order."
"Forcing us to play a game." Perry said. "That's a new one."
He was in a rotten mood already, and he had a feeling that "getting to know" Sandra Synonym wasn't going to help.
"Oh boy, what fun this will be!" Synonym said. "I look forward to meeting each one of you special animals."
"I hate when people use the word 'special'." Perry grumbled. "Oh, what a 'special' drawing you've made. You're really something 'special'. Try this 'special' muffin."
Peter snickered.
"Now, here's how you play the game." Synonym said. "Each one of you will be given a card with a subject on it like "color", "place" or "toy". You will tell me which color, place or toy is your favorite. If you need help reading a word, just call 'Special Sandra', and I will come to your reading rescue! But first, tell me your names."
Perry grinned at Darren, who made the cuckoo sign and pointed at Synonym. They all knew no human would understand a word they said.
"My name is Horace." Said Magdelena the mongoose.
"I'm Beatrice." Said Ferdinand the frog."
"I'm bored." Said Darren.
"I hate you and I hate this stupid game." Perry said.
"My name is Butt." Said Baby Ned the narwhal.
After all the agents had said random things, Synonym grinned. "What lovely names you all have! Now, let's play!"
She handed them each a card. Perry's card said "Pencil".
"What's your favorite pencil." He muttered. "How is that even a category…"
...
"Excellent job playing the game." Synonym said cheerfully. "You all did wonderfully."
The animals stared blankly at her.
"Now, let's play another game." Synonym said. "I'll give you each a box of crayons, and you can color your very own picture! I will hang each of your special pictures up on the wall of the agency so that they'll really shine!"
She handed them each a box of crayons and paper. The animals all looked at each other.
"Go on." Monogram said firmly. He didn't appear very interested in Sandra's idea, but he still seemed determined to have her accepted by the agents.
"I'm drawing Synonym a black hole." Perry said, scribbling a huge circle with a black crayon.
"I'm drawing a butt." Said Baby Ned.
...
Perry was sitting next to Ferb on Phineas's bed.
"I don't want to pack." Phineas said, sulking on the floor.
"Then don't pack." Perry said.
"I have to."
"We could dig an underground passage in the backyard to a big mansion." Ferb said. "And you could hide in there."
Phineas's eyes lit up. "Yes! We could build a huge mansion with a pool and instead of stairs we could have slides and... but... we don't have time." He sighed and looked down at the floor. "I don't have any choice. I have to go."
"Is Martin at least nice?" Perry asked.
"I don't know why he's making me go." Phineas muttered. "He wasn't supposed to bother us again. He's not part of my life anymore. He was supposed to go away."
"Maybe I could go with you." Perry said. "Then you wouldn't be alone."
"I don't wanna make you go." Phineas said.
"We'd be together." Perry said.
"…Yeah. I guess I can ask if I can take you." Phineas said. "And you wouldn't be stuck there, anyways. You could go home whenever and come back and stuff… I guess. I'll ask him."
Phineas slunk downstairs. Perry looked at Ferb.
"I don't want him to have to go." Perry said. "What kind of person forces their kid to go see them? Especially when they're supposed to be completely out of the picture?"
"Martin O'Riley." Ferb said. "But don't worry. We can still chat with him over Ferbmail. Or we can get a large bat..."
Phineas came back upstairs, looking even more depressed than before. "I called and he said no. He said his dog doesn't like other animals. I told him you were really well-behaved, but he said no."
"Well, there's always Ferbmail." Ferb said.
"I guess." Phineas sighed. "I'm just mad."
"Think of something happy." Ferb said. "Like armpits."
"Are armpits happy?" Phineas asked.
"I don't know. Did you ever think to ask your armpit?" Ferb asked.
"The conversation just got disturbing." Perry said.
...
"GIVE IT!" Perry snarled.
He tried to pull the granola bar out of Kyle's grasp, but Kyle wasn't giving it up.
They started tussling.
"All right, drop the item." Said a voice.
Kyle and Perry looked up. Neither of them released the granola bar.
Synonym was standing over them. "Come on, boys. Let's drop it."
Perry growled.
Synonym snatched the granola bar away from them and held it up. "Attention, all agents."
She didn't have to do much to get their attention. They had already been standing in a circle, watching Kyle and Perry fight.
"This is a very special granola bar." She said. "Do you know why it is special?"
"Because it's mine." Perry said. "And if you say 'special' one more time, I'll make your face look 'special'."
"Because it's blueberry marshmallow flavor?" Kyle asked.
"Because it's the last one?" Peter asked.
"This is a very special granola bar because Kyle and Perry both want it." Synonym said. "Now, let's settle our differences and figure out what to do."
"Get Kyle a different granola bar." Perry said.
"Why don't we break the granola bar in half?" Synonym opened up the bar, broke it into two parts and handed a piece to Perry and Kyle. "There. Now everyone is happy."
Perry glared at her.
Synonym patted him on the head and left.
"Darn." Kyle said. "We didn't get to fight very long."
"This stinks." Perry said. "We can't have a simple playfight over a worthless granola bar without Synonym making us settle our differences in that annoying high-pitched voice."
"I say we put Plan Monogram into action now." Peter said.
"We can't do that." Perry said. "It's not the right time."
"We do it tomorrow." Said a voice.
Everyone turned. Security agent Ernest the eagle was standing behind them.
"Flittering E- I mean, Agent E?" Perry sputtered. "You're going to be a part of Plan Monogram?"
"I like the Major." Ernest said, glaring at Perry. "And I must say that I am not pleased with him leaving, nor his replacement."
"She told me I was 'adorable'." Peter said.
"When I looked tired, she made me take a nap." Devon the dog said.
"She used to work in a daycare." Ernest said.
"Ohhhhhh!" The animals shouted.
"That explains SO much." Perry said.
"I say we begin Plan Monogram tomorrow." Ernest said.
Perry shrugged. "I guess if we change it up a little, we can do it tomorrow."
The agents all nodded.
"All right." Perry said. "Tomorrow, it's go-time."
...
"HEY." Perry typed.
When he hit return, a sparkling unicorn fluttered onto his computer screen, placed its hoof on an ink pad and stamped "HEY" onto the chat board.
After a moment, a blue sparkling unicorn wearing a mail hat fluttered down onto the computer screen. It stamped "HI" onto the chat board.
"FERB!" Perry called. "HOW DO YOU TURN OFF THE UNICORNS?"
There was no response. Perry sighed.
"How do you make this into normal chat with no unicorns?" He typed.
His unicorn stamped his message onto the chat board. The blue unicorn stamped a response.
"You click on Ferb's right thumb."
Perry did. The unicorns vanished.
"Thanks, Phinny. Why unicorns?"
After a moment, the response pinged onto the screen. "We thought Candace would like them. For some reason, she never got a Ferbmail account."
"How are you doing?"
"Eeh."
"Just 'Eeh', huh?"
"I'm kind of bored. All that's on TV are these shows about people getting their dream house or learning how much money they can get for their dining room table or something."
"Have you done anything besides watch TV?"
"Yeah. Mr. O'Riley got this cupcake-making machine or something so we tried to make cupcakes but they turned out really gross because we added too many eggs and then the machine overflowed and cupcake stuff landed on the floor and then his dog Nelson tried to lick it up and cupcake stuff dripped on his head."
"That sounds interesting."
"It wasn't really. Ferb and I could have made better cupcakes. Or a better machine. One cupcake turned out okay though."
"Was it good?"
"Not really. It kind of tasted like sweet bread instead of cake. But the frosting was okay."
"Did you do anything else besides eat fake cupcakes and watch golf on television?"
"There's this train set that I'm playing with right now. I stuck Nelson in the caboose. He doesn't seem to notice anything. He's kind of lazy."
"How big is Nelson to fit in a train set like that?"
"The train set's kind of big. Not huge. The caboose is about as big as you are. Nelson's a really small dachshund. I think his mom was probably a Chihuahua or something."
"I hope you're not too bored."
Ferb walked into the room, sucking on a popsicle. "Are you talking to Phineas?"
"Yeah." Perry said.
"Is he bored?"
"I'd assume so. He's watching reality television."
Ferb made a gagging motion. "I'm gonna go watch Revenge of the Fallen Icicles. Ask him if he wants to watch."
"How is he gonna watch?"
"Through the video chat screen we set up." Ferb said.
He pressed a button.
The large screen projector the boys kept in their room rolled down. Ferb sat the laptop down on his bedside table.
He typed "Do you want to watch Revenge of the Fallen Icicles with us" into the chat.
"Hey, did you turn off the unicorns?" He asked Perry.
Perry nodded.
Ferb clicked a few buttons, and Phineas appeared on video chat.
"Can you see the screen okay?" Ferb asked.
"Yep! Thanks, guys. This'll be fun."
"It's almost like having you here." Perry said happily.
Ferb started the movie.
"REVENGE OF THE FALLEN ICICLES" appeared on the screen in dripping ice letters.
"Is this a horror movie?" Phineas asked. "I forget."
"Not unless you have a fear of ice." Perry said.