Castiel wished they would turn the monitor so he could see it. They kept moving that goddamn ultrasound trying to see something. Apparently the swelling had gone down but not enough as they would like. He was becoming more and more agitated by the second. His child could be dead or possibly dying and all they could do was put a machine to his stomach and look at it. Dean was standing behind the two doctors, eyes on the screen. If they moved that thing over his bruise one more time he was going to snap.
"Enough!" Castiel slapped the doctor's hand away from him and sat up. He against slapped the doctor's hand away when he reached over to push him back down. "Don't fucking touch me."
"Cas," Dean came over to him and put his hands on his shoulders to push him back down.
"I said don't touch me!" He pushed the alpha away. "I want to go home."
"Cas you need to stay here for the baby."
"Being here isn't going to make it less dead. The swelling isn't down enough anyway. Just let me go home and we can come back tomorrow." The omega looked deep into the eyes of his alpha.
"Cas it's better if you stay here where you can get help if something happens."
"If something happens, it happens. I'm going home, if I have to walk there."
Dean turned to the doctors. "I need to make an appointment for tomorrow."
…
Dean tried to hold Castiel's hand as he drove home but the omega wouldn't allow it. He pulled his hand away and folded them on his lap, purposely avoiding his stomach.
"Can I sleep in my own room tonight?" Castiel looked out the window watching the world go by.
"Why?" Dean's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.
"Because I want to be alone. I have a lot to think about."
Dean pulled over to the side of the road quickly and put the impala in park. He undid his seatbelt and turned to Castiel. "It's my baby too Castiel. This is not all about you."
"There's something dead inside of me Dean." Tears ran freely out of the omegas eyes and down his cheeks. "We almost had it; we were so close to being happy, to having something. We would have had a baby, a perfect little baby just for us and now it's gone. I know you're going through this too but I feel like if I have to spend a night with you then we'll both have to deal with being next to it. I'm so sorry. I should have realized what Gabriel was doing. My own brother killed my baby. How morbid is that?"
"We don't know that it's dead. Our little one could be in there confused as to why everyone is so worried about it." The alpha reached out and turned Castiel's head so he would look at him. "We will make it through this Angel."
Castiel wrapped his arms around the alpha's shoulders.
…
Sam hugged Castiel when he walked into the door. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay." The omega smiled up at the beta, though it was forced.
"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."
"Thanks Sam," Castiel kissed the beta's cheek. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night so I'm going to bed."
"Good night Cas," Sam hugged him but was gentle about it.
"Good night Dean," Castiel says going to Dean and pecking him.
The alpha watched his omega leave before turning to Sam.
"Come on," Sam says starting towards the living room. He sat on the couch and his brother sat next to him. "How about you? How are you doing?"
"I don't know Sammy. I feel weird like I should be broken down and crying but I can't bring myself to do it. If I start to cry that means that it's really gone and it's not coming back. Sammy I'm so scared. If we lose this baby, then I'm going to lose Cas, I know it."
"You won't lose Cas. He cares about you Dean."
"I don't know, Sammy."
…
Castiel watched as the Gaines again smeared the gel onto his stomach. The ultrasound was becoming more and more agitated. Five minutes he laid there watching Dean's face. That was when both Gaines and Dean lighted up.
"Is that the baby?"
Gaines nodded turning the instrument. "And there's its heartbeat."
Castiel and Dean connected eyes and the alpha walked over and kissed him roughly.
"Our baby is okay Cas, we're going to be okay."