Ferb parked the car behind the huge house. He walked around to the front and rang the doorbell.

Perry got down on all fours and waited next to him.

Phineas opened the door, dragging a suitcase with him. Martin O'Riley was holding Phineas's jacket and extra pair of sneakers.

"You're sure you have everything?" He asked.

"Yeah-huh." Phineas said.

Ferb looked at Phineas. Perry could tell an intricate non-verbal message was being passed between them.

"Sure thing, Ferb." Phineas said.

"That's all, then." O'Riley said. Perry had a feeling he wasn't just talking about Phineas's luggage.

"Yeah. Pretty much." Phineas said.

He turned and pulled his huge suitcase clumsily down the walkway. Ferb took Phineas's jacket and shoes from O'Riley and followed him.

"Goodbye." Ferb said politely.

O'Riley closed the door, and Perry trotted after his owners.

...

"This is the best place." Phineas said. They sat down at a booth. "It's an old 50's style diner. And you get to watch old TV at your table!"

There was a television set above their table. An old sitcom was playing.

"It's funny how many people associated my birthday with food this year. This is the second birthday meal you two have taken me to. 'Happy birthday. Now go stuff yourself.'"

"I'm gonna get three chocolate shakes and mac and cheese." Ferb said.

"Me too." Phineas said. "But just one chocolate shake." He looked sadly up at the television, where another clip from an old show was playing. "Too bad there's no sound."

"No prob." Perry said. "We just make up our own dialogue."

MOTHER KNOWS BEST appeared on the screen. A woman was setting the table. A child walked in.

"Hi son, I know best." Perry said in a high-pitched voice as the woman opened her mouth.

"That's a girl." Ferb said.

"Your pigtails look wonderful today, son. …Thanks, mom! You know best! …Why, yes I do. …Hey, daddy, mother knows best. …Why yes she does, son. Your pigtails are lovely today. …Thanks, father, but mother knows best. …That's right, honey. I do."

Phineas started to laugh.

The show changed. This time it was THE REAL BOYS OF NANTUCKET.

Five boys were in the dark. They were opening a cupboard.

"Quick!" Perry said. "Take all the food before mom wakes up! Hide, hide!"

The mother came out and turned on the lights. All five boys froze.

"Now, sons." Perry said in a slightly higher voice. "Are you taking food out of the fridge today?"

The camera switched to two of the sons. Perry realized one of them was actually the grandfather.

"It's not our fault, mom!" He said when the youngest son began to talk. "Grandpa pretended to be my brother!"

Phineas laughed harder.

"Now, dad, that wasn't a very nice thing to do." Perry said for the mom. He switched back to the little boy. "Yeah, he fooled us, mom!" The boy held his arms out and puffed up his cheeks. "He fooled us THIS much!"

Ferb started laughing, too.

"Wow, that's a lot of fooling." Perry said as the camera switched back to the grandfather.

...

As time went on while they waited for their food, Perry was starting to run out of ideas for television dialogue.

The current show was about a teenage boy and girl in a restaurant.

"Boy, I sure do love you, Deborah. I love you too, Devon."

The girl ate a sandwich.

"Deborah, did you just eat my sandwich? …Oh, sorry Devon. I like sandwiches, and yours just seemed so delicious. …But I like sandwiches too, Deborah. …Oh. Well, I like sandwiches. …I sure do love you, Deborah. Do you like sandwiches?"

"Clearly, you have never been on a date." Ferb broke in.

Perry and Phineas burst into laughter.

"Oh look, it's another episode of THE REAL BOYS OF NANTUCKET." Ferb said.

The scene opened on two of the brothers eating corn next to their grandfather and mother.

"Times were tough ever since grandpa pretended to be our brother." Perry narrated.

Phineas was in hysterics.

"He's crazy and he hasn't even had the chocolate shake yet." Ferb said.

...

"Hi!" Phineas said to a random man walking by. He hopped to catch up with Perry and Ferb.

"I love shopping around Downtown Danville with you guys." Perry said. "Thank you two so much. This was a great idea."

"Well, we knew you loved Downtown Danville and buying lots of useless stuff, so we figured it would work out in your favor." Ferb said.

"Yeah. Where else would I have found olive food coloring? Or this…" Perry held up some kind of wrench with fake colorful feathers on it. "I'm not sure what it is. But I think it'll come in handy… at some point."

Phineas bounced around, swinging his cotton candy bag in his hand. "Times were tough ever since grandpa pretended to be our brother!"

Perry yanked the bag away from Phineas. Phineas giggled and continued to hop. "Stegosaurus! I am a stegosaurus and my name is Gertie!"

"But he was enjoying it so." Ferb said.

"Well, he can enjoy it again tomorrow." Perry said. "I honestly can't remember an outing we all had together that didn't end up with you two on a sugar rush."

"I'm not sugar rushed." Ferb said. "I probably won't even crash later."

...

Ferb was crashed in the backseat.

Perry had a feeling Phineas was about to fall asleep, so he took the remote and began to drive the car.

Phineas started to drift off.

"I shouldn't feel bad, right? Because I don't." He said softly.

"Is this you talking, or the cotton candy crash?" Perry asked.

"I mean about how I didn't say goodbye to Mr. O'Riley."

"I think that all depends on your history. I can't say. But you certainly shouldn't feel guilty. He wasn't being very considerate of you and your feelings, from what I saw."

"He kept me up all night once… when I was little." Phineas said sleepily. "He was yelling at me to find Candace's book because he wanted to read it. I stood there and cried that I was tired while he threw her stuff all around the room. Her piggybank almost hit me in the head, but I ducked. It broke on the floor." His eyes were slowly filling with tears. "Then he told me if I hadn't gotten out of the way, it wouldn't have broken. It was her favorite piggybank." He wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"No… no, Phin. That wasn't your fault." Perry said.

"Mom called the police the next night after he threw me at her and I never saw him again." Phineas said, now sounding angry. "But I didn't care. I hated him. And all while I was with him the last few days he kept telling me he's different now, and he's sorry, but he should have thought about that before. And I don't care. He's not my dad. A dad's someone who cares about you and loves you. Dad's my dad."

Perry nodded. "Of course he is. And in a way, it's good that it all that rough stuff happened. Now you have Ferb and your dad. You wouldn't have gotten them otherwise."

Phineas smiled a little. "Yeah. I'd never want it any other way. I just want Martin to stay away. He's not supposed to come back."

Perry patted him.

Phineas began to drift off.

"Don't tell Ferb, though." He murmured. "I don't want him to feel sad for me. And he doesn't need to know, anyway. O'Riley's not part of our lives. We have our own life together with mom and dad and Candace and you. And that's all that matters."

"I won't." Perry said.

"Thanks."