It's back! Again! For real this time!
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Regarding questions I've gotten about Ichigo's Quincy powers and the recent revelations about Zangetsu, I'll just say that Zangetsu is Zangetsu. The exact circumstances will eventually be addressed. Or, if you really can't wait, just leave the 700th review and get your free question.
Uryuu prided himself on his ability to sense reiatsu. After all, it was one of the areas that he still far outstripped Kurosaki in. Compared to his senses, the Arrancar might as well be deaf and blind. The Quincy could sense a Hollow emerging halfway across Karakura and snipe it from the same distance.
Which is why he was immensely surprised when he didn't notice they were under attack until the front door and surrounding wall exploded into the foyer, followed by a torrent of water.
Uryuu and the two maids that were present leapt up to the second level to avoid the rushing floodwaters.
The Quincy's eyes narrowed as the waters receded, drawing together and forming two tall stalks topped by blobs that resembled eyes.
"Knock knock," a young, mocking voice called from outside.
"Can the Quincy come out to play?" another asked.
Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm afraid I'm unavailable right now. I have to call a contractor to take care of the giant hole that was recently knocked in my front wall."
"Heh. Sorry about that."
"We got a little overeager."
"We've never gotten the chance to meet a Quincy before."
"They're kinda rare, you know?"
Uryuu and the maids scowled at the jab.
"Would you like us to remove them from the premise, Master Uryuu?" the brown haired maid asked.
"They are being very rude ~ de arimasu," her violet haired companion added.
"'Remove us from the premise'?"
"How do you expect to pull that off?"
Streamers of water emerged from the eyestalks.
"Go ahead."
"Show us!"
The water struck, slicing through the floor and railing of the upper level like a hot knife through butter.
It also missed all three targets by a mile.
Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose and glared down at the water creatures from his Hirenkyaku, the pair of maids flanking him. "I hope you plan to pay for that."
"Oh of course," the first voice mocked.
"Please, put it on our bill," the second continued.
Blue light flared and Uryuu's bow appeared from the Sanrei glove. "I believe you are right. These two have greatly overstayed their welcome. Sayoko? Wilhelmina? Would you mind showing them to the gate?"
"Of course, Master Uryuu (~ de arimasu)" they said together.
Then, without the slightest hesitation, they jumped off Uryuu's Hirenkyaku.
-x-
Ban and Ho blinked as the pair of maids darted around their Dolls with ease, while the Quincy rained arrows from above.
"Keeping them busy may be a bit more difficult than we thought, Ban…"
"Utagawa better not take too long…"
"He's probably taking his sweet time just to mess with us."
"That does sound like him, doesn't - ? Crap!" Ho ducked, just in time to avoid getting a kunai through his forehead.
"A word of advice," the brunette maid said, pulling more knives from the holsters hidden under her skirt.
"When hiding, it is best to avoid conversation ~de arimasu," her companion said from behind them.
"How the hell did you get past our Dolls?" Ban asked, looking through the hole in the mansion.
In the middle of the floor stood a massive stone construct emblazoned with the Quincy Cross. Ho and Ban could feel their Dolls inside the prison.
"Oh."
"I suppose we should have been paying more attention, Ho."
"Indeed…"
"Now then, while your "Dolls" are stuck in there, perhaps you could explain why you thought it would be a good idea to attack our home," the archer said, his bow drawn and aimed at them.
"You really think that rock is going to hold Guhl and Gunther long enough to make us talk?" Ho chuckled.
"Gritz is airtight. There is no way for them to get out ~ de arimsau."
Ho and Ban glanced at each other, then started laughing.
"So what if that thing's made of stone?" Ban said with a smirk.
"So what if it's airtight?" Ho continued.
"Water is patient."
"Water just waits."
"Wears down the cliff tops."
"The mountains."
"The whole of the world."
"Water always wins!" they declared together, just as the stone cracked and the Dolls surged forth with a roar like a tsunami.
The Quincy grabbed both maids around their waists and vanished out of the water's path.
-x-
Uryuu reappeared on the mansion roof and set Sayoko and Wilhelmina down. The trio looked down at the front lawn, which now had the appearance of a small lake.
"The gardener will be very upset ~ de arimasu…"
Uryuu scowled. "There's more water than before… Are they pulling it from the air?"
Sayoko leaned over the edge of the roof and looked in a window, which happened to be one of the bathrooms. Every faucet was running full blast. "No. From the plumbing. The water bill is going to be murderous this month…"
"And think of all the water damage ~ de arimasu…"
Uryuu's eyes narrowed as the Dolls reformed into the eyestalks, drawing all the water into themselves. Before, he had just been firing arrows to prevent the water from snaring Sayoko or Wilhelmina, so he hadn't really noticed… However…
Experimentally, Uryuu fired off a few arrows. The Dolls didn't bother avoiding most of them, which passed harmlessly through their liquid bodies. But the ones that he aimed at the small objects floating in the center of the eyes were blocked by a whip of water.
Uryuu nodded. "That's their weak point." He dug around in his trouser pocket and pulled out a handful of Ginto. "I'll deal with the Dolls," he said, passing the Ginto to Wilhelmina. "You two handle their controllers. With luck, incapacitating one will have an adverse effect on the other."
"Yes, Master Uryuu (~de arimasu)."
-x-
"They look like they've got a plan, Ban… Damn it. Hurry up, Utagawa…"
"Why couldn't Kariya have made Koga or Yoshi do this part? They're better at straight fights like this…"
And then the trio vanished from the roof and there was no more time to talk.
The Quincy dropped off both maids and kept moving, firing a barrage of arrows at Guhl and Gunther, forcing the Dolls to focus on defending the bottle caps that were their cores.
Ho and Ban found themselves unable to direct their Dolls to counter the archer's tactics, thanks to the maids attacking them.
It was rather fortunate that the pair of Bount had gotten bored a few decades ago and decided to take up martial arts. They never got very good at it, but they continued practicing for the exercise. Without that training, they would have been beaten senseless in seconds.
"What are you? Some kind of ninja?" Ho asked, frantically dodging kunai and kicks from the brunette maid. We were only supposed to have to deal with the Quincy! Not a damn super maid!
Ban was also having trouble.
"What the freaking hell?" he yelled, dodging out of the way of another group of ribbons. Did he seriously just see a couple strips of cloth slice through a tree?
"Hold still ~ de arimasu," the maid said, brandishing another glowing silver tube and manifesting more ribbons.
Fortunately, before things could get any worse, a huge, whale-like creature popped out of the ground, swallowed Ban, Ho, and their Dolls, and dove back down like a fish into water.
-x-
Uryuu, Sayoko, and Wilhelmina froze in mid attack at their opponents' spontaneous ingestion.
"What the hell (~de arimasu)?"
-x-
Miles away, Baura surfaced and spat out the Bount twins.
"Ugh… While we appreciate the assist, Sawatari…"
"We'll thank you to never ever do that again…"
A man with brown hair and a goatee sneered down at them. "Hmph. You two had so much trouble with one Quincy?"
"Go screw yourself, Utagawa."
"Did you get your part done?"
Ryo Utagawa snorted. "Of course I did. With you two making such a spectacle of yourselves, sneaking in and out of the mansion was child's play for Fried." He held up a leather-bound book with an ornate Quincy cross on the cover. "With this, we can finally begin the plan to take revenge on Soul Society."
-x-
Senna stared at the odd group of Shinigami arrayed before her. Several of them seemed to be visibly straining to not charge forward and begin experimenting on her.
"Listen up! Captain Soifon's orders are that you perform an examination only!" the incredibly obese Vice-Captain standing beside her said. "You are to find a method of closing the Valley of Screams that does not result in the death of the Shinenju."
"Yes yes yes yes yes! We understand!" A rotund researcher with a crank lever embedded in his temple responded eagerly. "As if we would ever allow any harm to befall such a valuable specimen!"
All the scientists nodded frantically in agreement.
Senna looked at the numerous manic smiles being directed her way and turned to the 2nd Division Vice-Captain. "I've changed my mind. Can I go back to Karakura?"
"Very well. If you understand and accept your orders, she's all yours!"
"Huzzah!"
Seconds later, Senna found herself hoisted over the researchers' heads and raced into the Shinigami Research and Development Institute.
The doors to the Institute closed behind her with an ominous bang.
Soifon never said I'd have to deal with freaks like this!
-x-
To her embarrassment, Soifon was unable to suppress the sudden sneeze.
"Ah, did you catch something in the Human World, Captain?" Amagai asked.
Soifon shook her head. "I don't think so." She sat up straight and looked Amagai in the eye with all the dignity she could muster. "So, I assume you've made your decision?"
Amagai nodded. "I will take the Captain Proficiency Test."
"Excellent." Soifon reached into her desk and pulled out a slip of paper. She handed it to Amagai. "The date and time of your test."
Amagai blinked. "Ah… you already set it up? What if I had said no?"
Soifon stood. "That's not the kind of man you are. I knew you would accept. Asking was just a formality." She opened the office door and made an 'after you' gesture. "I expect to be addressing you as 'Captain Amagai' the next time we meet."
Amagai stood and bowed. "Thank you for your faith in me. It has been an honor to serve in this Division."
All according to plan.
What's this? Plans going off without a hitch? Blasphemy! Where's my toolbox? I need a monkeywrench.
Poor Senna. Don't worry; she'll be fine. I think... Probably...
Yes, the maids are characters from other anime. Sayoko is from Code Geass and Wilhelmina is from Shakugan no Shana. Since Tite Kubo has neglected to give us the names of any of the Ishida family's maids except for Uryuu's mother, I had to borrow a couple.
I know that Yhwach said in Chapter 544 that every Gemischt Quincy is dead with the exception of Uryuu. I'm just making a slight change to that. Uryuu is the only Gemischt Quincy to survive with his powers fully intact. I'm basing this on how Isshin only mentioned Masaki and Katagiri's deaths. He said nothing about the other Quincy. Masaki died because she was fighting Grand Fisher when her power was drained and Isshin specifically mentioned that Katagiri died because she had a weak constitution.
So in NQaP canon, the power drain is not inherently fatal. It just left the Gemischt Quincy in a similar state to Uryuu after removing the Sanrei Glove (still able to see spirits and use Ginto, but completely unable to gather reishi themselves). This is permanent and their power cannot be restored with the method Ryuuken used on Uryuu.
And yes, Wilhelmina is weaponizing Spirit Ribbons with the reishi from the Ginto.
Now please! Review! Update the NQaP TvTropes page! Both motivate me to write faster (granted, the bar isn't set very high...)!