Edward's POV
I held Bella tight against my chest. I couldn't. I wouldn't let her go
I put my chin to her head, "Bella, sweet Bella. I cant let you just die" I said
She was struggling against me, fighting me " let me go Edward. I don't need your pity! Let me go!" she said. One moment she was in my arms, the next she had slipped thru my embrace and lay crumpled on the floor.
"Bella, wake up! God not now, don't do this now!" I begged her She felt hot, and looked flushed. I had to get her to Carlisle immediately.
Within seconds, I was running thru the woods with her. Please not yet, dear god not yet. I haven't had enough time! I thought
I kicked open the door with my foot, my family rushed to the living room just in time to see me ascend the staircase. I took her to my room, and laid her on our bed.
From the door Alice informed me that Carlisle would be back momentarily.
"Alice, please get a cold compress for Bella, she's burning up!" I commanded
Alice being Alice already had it ready. She handed it to me immediately.
As the cool cloth touched Bella's checks and forehead she began coming to.
"Oh, Edward" she moaned "I don't feel very well"
"Carlisle is on his way Bella" Alice said" In fact he's here now!"
"Bella?" he said rushing towards her "Edward, what have you done?"
"I've done nothing to her Carlisle. We were talking, she tried to leave and I …I wouldn't let her go," I confessed
"Edward what were you thinking! In her condition that was not very wise. You could have killed her. She doesn't need any added stress put on her." He said, "Just go! Let me take a look at her."
I sat on my couch, Alice beside me, watching Bella as Carlisle checked her.
I saw her on our bed, the bed we shared together. I thought back to the time, the many times she offered herself to me. A sweet innocent, offering her love to a monster. She had wanted me then, wanted to share herself with me body and soul. I had been foolish to refuse her, just looking at her now, on our bed. I could have had her; I could have given myself to her in return. Now, it seemed she would remain virtuous even in death.
"Carlisle how is she doing?" I asked, positioning myself closer to her
"She's just exhausted Edward. She'll be fine." He replied
"Oh, Bella! I love you so much" I said sitting next to her on the bed
"I love you too Edward, Forever" she said softly as she looked into my eyes
"Rest Bella." I told her as she closed her eyes
"Stay with me Edward, hold me. Please." She asked
"Always my love" I wisped. As I began to sing her lullaby
I stayed with her thru the night & I had Alice call Charlie so he wouldn't worry where Bella was.
When my angel awoke, she came directly over to me & fell into my arms. I held her tight against me. "Morning Sunshine!" I said
"Good morning Edward!" she said "Thank you for taking such good care of me last night"
"It is always my pleasure!" I teased
With the dawning of this new day, it seemed like everything was as it should be. She was here in my arms, & she was perfect!
"Edward, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I was wrong, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." She said
"There is nothing to forgive Bella. I love you so very much, nothing can ever change that," I said
"Edward, I think I should get home, Charlie must be out of his mind with worry!" she said
"Charlie knows that you are here, calm down! " I said, "Lets get you some breakfast, then have Carlisle check you out again & then you can be on your way. Okay?"
"Sounds great!" she said as she made her way to the bathroom
"Oh, Alice put some clothes for you the bathroom." I told her
"Give me 10 minutes!" she said, as she leaned over and kissed my briefly on the lips before getting changed
I went out to get Carlisle, but there was no need. He was at the door "How's Bella this morning?" he asked
"Fine, Carlisle, she seems fine! Back to her old self. Almost like nothing had ever happened!" I said
"Edward, I'm all set! Oh, morning Carlisle!" she said as she reached to take my hand
"After last night, I'm glad you are doing so well. " he said "Would you like me the have a look?"
"No, I'm fine thank you." She said "Hey Edward, how about that breakfast!"
"Yes, lets get you something." I replied
I must have been imagining it but it almost seem like she wanted to avoid Carlisle this morning. She seemed fine, but as I looked a bit closer I realized that she was sweating a bit on her forehead. She's lying I realized. Why would Bella do that?
We went down the stairs hand in hand & met Alice Jasper at the bottom.
"Bella, I'm glad you're doing better this morning" Alice said
I noticed Jasper seemed uncomfortable around Bella. So we kept on going to the kitchen
Damn, she needs something for that pain. I'm surprised Carlisle didn't give her anything. Jasper thought
Now I was really concerned, Bella seemed fine to the outward eye but why wouldn't she mention the pain, something wasn't right
She hardly touched her breakfast. She said she wasn't hungry.
"Bella, I think maybe you should see Carlisle." I suggested
"Edward, no. I'm fine!" she said firmly " I'm going to need to get home, Charlie is going to take me car shopping today. So I better go"
"Would you like me to come along? I do have a lot of automotive experience " I said
"No, Edward that's okay! Anyway, don't you need to talk to someone about the music, you wouldn't want to disappoint Alice." She said
I looked at her completely stunned, a feeling of elation and clam washed over me, a smile came over my face, "Does this mean what I think it does Bella?"
"Well, if what your thinking is we've got plans a week from Saturday, than yes!" she teased
"Oh Bella, you have just made me the happiest man in the world! I said Picking her up and holding her in my arms.
"No, Edward you have made me realize what is important in life. It's love, it's you! I need to be with you. I don't exist without you. Edward, you are my match, my other half, my second self. You're my everything and I need you!" she said
Bella's POV
Edward drove me home, driving much slower than usual. As we pulled up to the house, the car was in the driveway, along with Jake's rabbit. "Would you like me to come in with you Bella?"
"No, I think I can handle it from here!" I said as I leaned over to kiss him "See you later!" I slowly got out of the car and made my way to the house. The pain I was in was excruciating, I just hoped he hadn't notice.
Jacob & Charlie were in the living room watching a game as I came in.
"Bella!" Charlie said as he came into the kitchen, Jacob following behind him. "Thank God you're alright. I was so worried about you until Alice called." I saw as Jacob rolled his eyes at that comment
"Um, okay dad. I'll be right down" I said heading for the stairs
"What's wrong Bella?" Charlie asked
I turned my pained face towards him, which was all I needed to do. He understood completely. "I picked it up for you from the drug store Bells, it's on your night stand." Charlie said trying to sound cryptic
"Thanks Dad" I mumbled as I headed for the stairs.
"Charlie, is she going to be okay?" Jake whispered
"I don't know. I hope so Jake" was Charlie's reply
I went to my bedroom to get some relief. I grabbed for the bottle of pills. My hands shook as I tried to remove the cap. "Damn child proof caps" I murmured to my self
"Here, Let me help you Bella." It was Edwards voice behind me
"I didn't want you to see me like this" I sobbed & sat down on the bed
He removed the bottle from my hand, went into the bathroom to get a little cup of water for me. Upon returning he handed me the opened bottle and the water. I quickly dumped some pills into my hand tossing them into my mouth and washed them down with a large gulp of water.
"The prescription says to take 1 to 2 pills as needed for pain Bella" he remarked" That had to be at least 4."
"Oh, I hadn't noticed…it's fine. Remember, I've been thru this before." I said assuring him "I'll be fine."
"Well, I better go. Jacob wants to talk with you." He said just as I heard a knock on my door
"See you soon! Miss you already!" I teased, he kissed me and then he was off
'Come in Jake" I said as I sat down on my floor with my back to the bed
"How are you doing Bells? You weren't here when I called last night. I got worried," he said
"I was just a bit tired, Edward took me to see his father about that" I replied not really wanting to go into any further detail than was necessary.
"So, I hear from Charlie that you're going to be getting a new car" he said
"Well of course Jake! The truck didn't make out as well as I did" I replied "I need my own car!
"What about your motorcycle?" Jake teased
"Oh, that would go over real well with Charlie! If I wasn't already dying, he'd kill me!" I mused
"Bells that's not funny" Jacob said sitting down next to me shaking his head "You know how I feel about you, please don't joke about that."
"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me. It's just, hard," I whispered
"Bella, let's get going!" Charlie called up to me
"Hey Jake I gotta go, talk to you later?" I said
"Bella, can I ask you a question?" He said
"Of course Jake, anything"
"On the morning of the accident, why were you headed to La Push?" he asked
"Well, that's easy. Emily said she wanted to talk. She mentioned a couple of things to me that had me worried." I said waiting for the next question I knew he was going to ask
"Jake, I'd love to talk to you about this, but Charlie is waiting for me. Later okay?" I said thankful that I had at least postponed the inevitable
"Sure, sure Bells, have fun" he said
"Bella, please come down here right now!" Charlie yelled up to me
"Oh crap, does he sound upset?" I asked trying to figure out why Charlie would possibly have a reason to be angry with me. Since nothing came to mind I figured I was safe." See you later Jake!" I headed down the stairs to see what was up
"Sorry Charlie, we can go now!" I said
"Bella, there is no reason to go anymore." He said
"What, what are you talking about Charlie?" I said, "I'm going to need a car dad. I cant be a burden to you, to Edward, or to anyone!"
"Just go look out side Bells" he said
I went over to the door and looked out cautiously. There I saw Alice, standing next to something large covered with a tarp & ribbon. "Alice, what is going on here?"
"Well Bella, Edward wanted me to bring this by for you, he figured you could use it!" she said as I looked out and saw Edwards Volvo in my driveway.
"Oh, Alice. This is too much, I can't possibly, what is Edward going to drive?" I said
"Edward will be using one of our fathers cars. He told me to tell you it was only on loan. Just till your truck is repaired!" she said, "By the way the truck will be ready next week!"
"Alice, thank you for dropping it off. I really don't know what else to say. Thank you!" I said reaching over to hug her
"We're going to be sisters soon, it's my pleasure Bella!" she sang suddenly Charlie was moving closer, he obviously had something on his mind
"Bella, you can't be thinking of going thru with the wedding now honey. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to Edward." He said
"Dad, what do you mean? Of course the wedding is still on and what do you mean by it wouldn't be right?" I replied as I was beginning to become agitated
Alice sensed my mood, and took it upon herself to explain for me, "Charlie, it is my understanding after speaking with my brother. That the wedding is still on, that we will make this the best day of Bella's life, and then, after the wedding Bella & her husband will decide what treatment is in her best interest together."
"Oh. I didn't realize. I'm sorry Bella, I didn't know" Charlie said, fumbling over his words
"It's okay dad, it's my fault I forgot to mention it." I said, " Dad, do you mind if I head inside, I'm feeling really tired"
"Oh, yes-yes of course. Alice, please let me take you home" he said
"That would be great. Bella, are you okay?" she asked
"Fine, just feeling-tired. Thank you Alice please let Edward know I'll see him later tonight to thank him personally for the car!" I said
When I got to my room I crashed to the bed. Next time I think I would follow the directions on the bottle I told myself.
I'm not sure how long I slept, but when I woke up Edward was holding me tightly. Without even looking I turned to him "Thank you for lending me the car." I breathed lightly caressing his lips with mine. "I really, really appreciate it"
"Alice, mentioned something about 'thanking me personally' he said with a low chuckle
"Why yes, I did Mr. Cullen, I think it would be better if I showed you my gratitude." I teased
"I would be amenable to that" he mussed
I held his face, in my hands kissing him softly; I felt his cold tongue in my mouth, his hands around my waist. The kiss became urgent. I looked into his eyes, and asked him the question that was burning in my mind.
"Edward, do you want me? Right here…right now?
Slowly, I moved my right hand down from his check and placed it on his shoulder. I began exploring my new sense of empowerment, as I kissed each of his closed eyelids, kissed his nose. Returning briefly to his mouth. I felt as Edward began to tense up with each boundary I crossed. My lips moved to his ear, & I nibbled gently on the lobe. "Edward" I breathed, "oh, Edward."
He made no response of protest so I continued on, caressing his neck with my index finger, softly drawing imaginary circle patterns on his skin.
"Bella…" He finally managed to say in a very drawn, unnatural voice "Please"
I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that, was it please stop…or please continue. I waited for him to clarify. But it never came. He pulled his hand from my waist and brushed the hair from my shoulder. With that movement, something unexpected happened. The strap of my camisole was no longer on my shoulder but had fallen down to reveal a bit more of me than he had ever seen. Edward drew in a quick gasp of air, the air he really didn't need. His mouth now moved to cover my exposed shoulder has he kissed franticly along my collarbone and stopped abruptly at my neck.
I was pushing the limits, I knew this. But I also knew what I wanted and needed and he could fill both of those needs. He now moved to position himself above me, and I complied. He kissed my ear whispering ever so sweet" Bella, please…please ask me to stop. I'll stop if you ask…"
I ran my fingers thru his hair, pulling his head closer to me as his mouth moved down to the top of my breast. His kisses were cold, on my hot flesh. My heart was practically beating out of my chest, and I knew that he wouldn't be able to take much more
"Edward, please don't stop" I begged my hands began to work on the buttons of his shirt. My hands trailing down his marble chest, tugging at the shirt to be released from his jeans. He pulled the shirt quickly off, after all, it was in his way.
His hand reached down to my exposed belly, moving up underneath my top slowly. I shuddered with pleasure at his touch. He moved his lips down to where his hands had just been. Feeling his loving kisses on my body. This felt so right. As his kisses went lower, and lower. His cool fingers were at the waist of my sweats. Teasing me. Oh god was this really going to be happening. I thought he would have stopped long age. His finger slipped under my waistband and began tugging at the fabric. My hands eagerly tried to assist him.
A small rock hit my window, then another one "Oh, perfect." Edward groaned pulling himself off me "The dog wants to talk to you!"
"What is he doing here? I can't talk to him like this." I motioned to my disheveled self " tell him I come over tomorrow."
Edward made his way to the window, and relayed the message to Jacob. I began imagining what must be going thru Jakes mind, seeing Edward shirtless, and hair disheveled. I giggled to myself at that thought.
"Bella, he wants to see you. Make sure you're okay. He doesn't trust me," Edward said with a sneer towards Jake
I got up of the bed trying to gather some composure and I went to the window. He looked at me, and at Edward. I could tell by the angry look in his eyes that he understood exactly what was going on.
"Sorry Bells, um-okay bye." he said quickly as he ran off into the night
I turned towards Edward reached out to entwine my arms around his neck "Now, where were we. Oh, I was right about here." I teased as I reached for the top button of his jeans and gently pulled at the zipper. Edward pushed me back towards the bed, kissing me as we fell back down. I could feel him thru the jean material of his pants.
I finally realized that this was going to happen. This was an entirely new experience for me. I was innocent in the eyes of the world regarding the act of love, we both were. We were finally going to be together. His hands moved up my side and back under the material of my shirt, feeling his way up to my breasts, this was unexplored territory and he was claiming it. For his own, his lips kissed my neck, I was feeling dizzy, but I never wanted this to stop. "Edward, stop for just a second" I begged
"Let me lock the door, just in case Charlie gets up!"
As he moved off me, I was able to finally catch my breath, my heart was pounding out an erratic pattern, and I started walking toward the door to lock it and heard Edward cry out "No Bella. God no.!" just as I hit the floor I must have fainted from all of the excitement, but suddenly Charlie was rushing in "Bella what's wrong. What happened?" he asked worry in his voice "God, honey your burning up!"
"Dad?" I asked wondering where Edward was
"Of course it's me Bella, who else would it be. Did you hit your head? Just let me get dressed, I'll take you to the hospital"
"No Dad! I don't need to go to the hospital! I was just on my way to get some medicine for the pain dad! It's in the bathroom." Trying to cover up the odd situation I now found myself in.
"Let me help you to the bed, and I'll go get your pills." He offered
"Thanks dad." I said and as he left to cross the hall I called out for Edward, I saw the closet open a bit, so I knew he was still here.
Charlie was back within seconds, with my pills. He asked how many I needed. I told him 2, which was the maximum dosage according to the label. "The pains that bad?" he looked worried
I cringed a bit and he didn't question my anymore, he just thrust the pills into my hand. Hoping that I would be put out of my misery. "Bella, I want to talk to you more about this wedding."
"Dad, this really isn't a good time. Can we talk about this later?"
"Well, I've finally got you alone. You are always with Edward or Alice, and I want your own thoughts on this mater."
"What mater?" I asked
"Bella, I want you to reconsider the wedding." He began "I know you think I'm harping but honey, but without treatment your going to die, your getting worse daily. I see you struggling and it's hard to watch. You should be focusing on recovery right now, not a wedding!"
I began crying, which made Charlie worry "Dad, I have never asked anyone for anything in my life! I have taken care of mom; hell, I have even taken care of you. I'm tired, so tired daddy and now I want this one thing. This one pure perfect thing. Edward loves me with all his heart, and I love him. If I died tomorrow, I would be grateful for even the littlest fraction of time I've spent with him. Grateful for the love and happiness he has brought to my life. And here you sit asking me to give up the only thing I've ever wanted! The only thing I have ever needed!" My voice was raised and cracking at this point "I won't do it. I can't give him up. I won't!"
I ran thru the door and down the stairs, falling on the last step. Charlie was coming after me, and I knew Edward was probably in shock waiting in my room for me to return, I grabbed the keys and ran for the car. I felt like I was running for my life. I jumped in and locked the doors as I turned the key, engine purred to life.
Charlie, was screaming after me" Bella please stop! For Christ sake stop!"
As the tires spun, looking for traction I saw Edward's stunned face in my window, he now realized I wasn't coming back tonight.
I had to get out of here! I wasn't thinking clearly. I had to have been doing 90 maybe 100. The pills were taking effect, making me tired. Where can I go? I was crying harder now, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't go to Edward's. That is the first place Charlie would go. I had nowhere else, no one else. So I went to the only other place I could think of. I went to Jacob. My Jacob.
I drove the car over the invisible boundary line as fast as I could, slowing down once I was on the other side. I headed towards the beach. I needed to rest. I need to think. As I drove down the road, I began to hear the sounds of the wolves. Oh crap, I didn't even think about the fact that I was now driving the vampires car. Suddenly, on the side of the road I saw the large black wolf. As I drove to the beach he followed close behind watching me. I got out of the car, and moved directly towards the beach. I heard a deep growl from behind me. "Sam it's only me Bella. I just want to go to the beach. Please just leave me alone" I turned, and the wolf was gone.
It was dark out, but it didn't matter to me. I made my way to the beach, sitting down on a piece of driftwood. I began to cry, I was cold and alone. I was still dressed in only my camisole and sweat pants. I didn't even have shoes. Great, just great!
"Bells, where are you!" Jacob called out of the darkness.
I didn't answer. I just wanted to sleep. He knew I was out here anyway. I'm sure Sam had told him. I felt warmth surround me, "God, You're freezing Bella. Let me take you home."
I felt him pick me up, and carry me away. I put my head on his shoulder and fell asleep. In the morning, I woke up in a familiar place. I was alone, and I wasn't sure where Jake was. When I opened the door, I called out "Hello? Billy? Jake?" I called out without a response. I realized how worried Edward must be. I needed to leave. Then I saw the note on the kitchen table. It had my name on it, so I picked it up & quickly saw it was from Jake.
Bella,
If you are reading this, I wasn't there with you when you woke up. I am sorry to have left you alone, but I will be back very soon. Please wait for me. We need to talk.
Love Jacob
My painkillers had worn off long ago, and I was feeling it. But I decided to wait like he had requested. I knew we needed to talk & I wasn't looking forward to it. I waited, but he didn't come back. I had to go home, the pain was excruciating at this point.
The Volvo was waiting for me outside the house. That was great, at least I didn't need to walk down to the beach feeling the way I did. I began the drive back to Forks, once again crossing the invisible boundary line.
I saw Edward pacing back and forth on the other side. I pulled the car over and got out. He grabbed me up in his arms and squeezed me tightly to him.
"Bella, I've been out of my mind with worry! Alice said you disappeared, so I knew where you were. At least I hoped that you were here!"
"I just couldn't listen to Charlie anymore, I needed to get away from him last night! I'm sorry I left you alone."
"There is nothing to be sorry for Love, I'm just glad you're here now."
"Edward, I think I need to see Carlisle. Do you know if he's at the hospital?"
"No Bella he's at home. I'll take you there." He said as he put me into the car worry on his face
We made our way to Edward's house, as we pulled up we saw Alice coming towards us. "Bella, Charlie has been over here looking for you! He's frantic and so worried about you. He said you left without your medicine, without shoes even."
"Alice, I don't mean to be rude. But I really don't care anymore. After what he said, what I know he thinks about me. Just please, I need to see Carlisle"
Edward picked me up and took me into the house, running me up the stairs to his room. He sat down on the couch, still holding me against him. Carlisle was there almost immediately. He had brought his bag, as if he already knew what I needed.
"Bella let me give you something for the pain." He offered Pulling out a syringe and a bottle of morphine.
I didn't care that it was a needle; I just wanted the pain to go away. I didn't want to feel like this anymore. When he was finished, Edward laid me on the bed. Sitting next to me "Thank you Carlisle" he said and that was all I heard
I woke up much later, to the sound of my lullaby playing in the room. It was nice to wake up to that beautiful sound "Edward" I said
"I'm here Bella. Right here." As he moved to position himself next to me
"What time is it Edward?"
"It's 2:00 AM, you slept all morning" as I stretched I noticed I was wearing different clothes "Edward, where are my clothes?"
"Alice helped you change. You were pretty out of it!" he said smiling "Don't worry Bella, I didn't peak!"
"What a shame! I thought you would have at least wanted to peak!"
"Bella, I'm shocked! I would never-not without permission!" he seemed offended
"Well, I give you permission!" as I took of my top bearing myself for him to see
"God, your perfect Bella" as he reached out to pull me closer.
"Your turn!" I teased and his shirt was gone
I pushed him down next to me, and pulled my leg over him so I was pinning him down