Title: Four Christmases: Let All Your Memories Hold You Close
Author: HandsThatHeal
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: M/NC-17
Summary: In this AU Christmas story, Callie Torres fondly thinks back on the four Christmases she has spent with the love of her life, Arizona Robbins. Written as a Secret Santa Fic for lovestryam on LiveJournal.
Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, songs, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
AN: In this story, italics denote past Christmas Seasons.
Chapter Two
Second Christmas
Trudging through the streets of Seattle on her way home from another long night at the law office she'd been working at for the past year, Arizona glanced down at the watch on her left wrist, sighing as she noted the time.
10:23pm - Christmas Eve.
Shaking her head as she rounded the corner leading onto her street, she once again sighed. Was this really what her life had become? Late nights at work with minimal friends and no social life but, more importantly - more discomforting - than that, no one to come home to? No one there waiting for her on these late nights? Sure, Callie was always waiting for her to call or text but, unfortunately, Callie was nearly four thousand miles away.
Arizona would be lying if she said the distance wasn't taking its toll. It was apparent - a year later - that she had been so very naive by thinking they could survive a long distance relationship but, the truth was, she desperately missed the other woman. They had only seen each other three times since their goodbyes on that fateful day at the cabana bar and, while Arizona loved the other woman more than she ever thought it possible to love another human being, she was beginning to feel like it just might be time to let it go.
Time to let Callie go.
Shaking her head at the thought, Arizona sniffled as the onset of tears began to sting at her eyes. This was so unfair. She loved Callie so much, but how could she be expected to continue a relationship with someone she never go to see? How could they nurture and build a committed relationship when they were only in the other's presence a few times a year?
Making her was down the sidewalk, coming closer and closer to her apartment building with each weary step, Arizona resolutely wiped at her eyes, her mind made up. She just couldn't do this any longer. She needed - craved - the love and attention of someone who could be there. Someone who she could enjoy her life with; someone she could fall asleep next to every night and wake up curled up against every morning.
A light snow began to fall as she reached the long awning leading to the entrance of her apartment building and, searching for her keys, her attention was solely focused into the depths of the oversized bag hanging over her left shoulder.
And then, out of nowhere, there were lips attacking her own - intoxicatingly familiar lips that she hadn't had the privilege of kissing in over four months. Plump lips she had lost herself in way too few times but, at the same time, the lips she knew - no matter what her brain had been telling her just mere seconds before - she wanted to be able to kiss every day for the rest of her life.
But. . .she still lived in Seattle, and Callie still worked in Aruba. This was never going to work, no matter how desperately she wanted it to.
Pulling away, Arizona allowed herself to linger, her nose nuzzling against the smooth cheek of the other woman. "What are you doing here?" she softly asked, her heart thundering against her chest.
Callie rested her forehead against that of the other woman, her hands still fisted in the lapels of Arizona's camel colored pea coat. "I had to see you," she hoarsely whispered, finally pulling away only far enough to be able to appraise the rest of her girlfriend's form. "You're stunning."
Arizona appeared sheepish, not just at Callie's comment and lecherous stare, but mostly because, unbeknownst to Callie, she knew she was about to break the other woman's heart, along with her own. She was going to have to be the one to put an end to their relationship. It was for their own good. It was the right thing to do.
"Do you want to come inside?" Arizona asked, nervously stepping back from the other woman and looking anywhere but at her gorgeous face.
Callie's brow furrowed in confusion at not only the question, but at Arizona's strange behavior, as well. "Well. . .I was hoping to. I mean, if that's okay," she apprehensively stated, completely second guessing her plan to surprise her girlfriend for Christmas. "I'm sorry. Are you busy? You probably have work. I should have called," she stammered, mentally berating herself for just assuming Arizona would be available without warning. " I mean, it's no problem. I'll just go to a hotel. Maybe we can catch up tomorrow or. . .something."
Arizona shook her head; it never ceased to amaze her how quickly this usually confident woman could morph into a complete rambling mess. "No, no. It's okay. Come in."
Arizona then turned on her heel, heading toward the elevator without looking back to see if Callie had followed.
Perplexed by her girlfriend's sudden change in attitude, Callie grabbed her suitcase by the handle and, wheeling it behind her, she silently followed Arizona through the elevator door.
Both women remained silent as they exited the lift, Callie's lip now firmly held between her teeth as she tried to discern what exactly Arizona's silence meant. This behavior was making her more than a little nervous; she'd never seen her girlfriend like this, never heard her voice sounds so uncertain and so foreboding.
"Umm. . .is everything okay? Did I do something?" Callie finally asked, gently shutting the door behind her as she watched Arizona remove her coat and unwrap the scarf from around her neck.
Arizona sighed; she thought she was doing a much better job of hiding the conflict she was currently feeling and, shaking her head, she looked down at the floor, completely unable to hold Callie's gaze. "I. . .uh. . .I can't do this anymore, Calliope. The distance. . .it's just too much, and I. . ."
"You're breaking up with me?" Callie softly asked, the shock she was feeling obvious in the widening of her eyes and the nervous wringing of her hands.
Arizona began to pace the room, exasperation filling her body and seeping from her every pore. "I don't know what else to do, Calliope. I. . .I just need more. More than this. More than what you and I have together," she admitted, her voice rising in volume and pitch. "I need someone who can be here. Someone I can share my life with. Someone I know has the same vision of a future that I do. Not someone I'm only able to talk to on the phone and see three times a year. I just - I need more. This. . .it's just not working," Arizona yelled, her tearful blue eyes finally glancing in her girlfriend's direction to meet desolate chocolate brown. "I-I'm sorry. I. . ."
Shaking her head, Callie held up her hand to prevent any further devastation from falling from Arizona's beautiful mouth. "Here," she brusquely retorted, angrily tossing a beautifully wrapped package in Arizona's direction. "Merry Christmas."
And with that, Callie turned on her heel, grabbed her suitcase, and quickly disappeared out Arizona's front door.
An hour later, Arizona lay on her couch, tears streaming down her face as she nervously fidgeted with the package Callie had tossed at her before rushing out her door. This wasn't at all how she was supposed to feel right now; she had ended her relationship with Callie for their own good but, if breaking up with Callie was the right thing to do, why did she feel so very, very bad?
Rolling onto her side, she pulled a pillow closer to body and hugging it against her chest, she continued to stare at the expertly wrapped box that was quite similar in size and shape to the box containing the watch Callie had given her for Christmas just one year before.
Glancing to her left wrist, she admired the silver timepiece that had encircled her wrist every single day for the past three hundred sixty-five and, with a sigh, she pulled herself up into sitting, her fingers instantly working to unhook the clasp to remove the watch from her arm. Tossing it onto the coffee table in front of her, she rolled her eyes at her own curiosity, immediately working to remove the wrapping from the small package.
With the paper removed, Arizona slowly removed the lid, her brow furrowing when she saw what lay inside.
Pulling out a business card for the Grand Torres Hotel - Seattle, Arizona found herself even more confused by what she saw printed in highly professional font on the bright white piece of cardstock.
Calliope I. Torres
Executive Vice President,
Development and Commercial Services
Flipping the card over in her hand several times, she then looked back down into the small box, this time pulling out a key card for room 2502 of the hotel and with her heart pounding in her chest at what this all could possibly mean, she quickly grabbed her watch, snapping it back onto her wrist before jumping up from the sofa, grabbing her coat and bag before briskly rushing out the door.
Callie hadn't stopped crying since she had stepped into the hallway outside Arizona's apartment and, now, lying curled in a ball in the middle of her hotel suite's king size bed, she held an overstuffed pillow against her body, her sobs wetting the starched white pillow case with each tear that fell.
She couldn't believe this was happening; she had worked her butt off for the past year proving time and time again to her father and the other hotel board members that she was more than ready to fulfill the position she had been groomed for since the age of ten, what she had gone to college for and graduated with honors. She loved her job at the bar, but it certainly was time to move on; it was time for her father to give her a chance to prove that she was ready to be what he had always wanted her to be.
So, when she'd gotten word of possible expansion of the Grand Torres Hotel in Seattle, she'd jumped - no, leapt - at the chance to prove to her father that she was ready, not to mention, she desperately missed Arizona, and Seattle was exactly where she needed to be.
Callie had considered, on more than one occasion, just dropping everything and moving to Seattle to be with her girlfriend, but that wasn't her. She needed to be more responsible - to have a game plan and a job - and so, she'd developed a very convincing business development plan for the hotel which had completely blown away her father and the rest of the board.
So, here she was with a job, a place to live, and a plan all in place but, after the events of the past hour, she had no girlfriend to share that with.
That thought only made Callie cry harder; she never in a million years expected Arizona would break up with her and, as she cried, she was completely oblivious to the other person who now stood in the elegant bedroom of the luxury suite.
It was only when she felt the mattress dip beneath her that she realized she wasn't alone, the familiar scent of Arizona's perfume and shampoo invading her senses as the other woman moved in close, tightly holding her from behind.
Callie wanted to resist; she wanted to push Arizona away, to make her hurt just as badly as she was hurting but, now cocooned in the warmth of the other woman's embrace, she simply could not resist rolling over, her face now buried in Arizona's chest as she continued to cry.
Arizona only held Callie more tightly, one hand smoothing wavy brunette hair back from where is lay matted with tears against a beautiful caramel face. "I'm sorry, Calliope. So sorry," she tried to soothe, hoping beyond hope that it was a good sign that Callie had not yet pushed her away.
Sniffling and trying to pull herself together, Callie brusquely wiped at her face, her eyes finally opening to meet the moist blue ones staring right back at her from where Arizona's head lay on the same pillow her own cheek rested against.
"Is it true, Calliope?" Arizona softly asked, her voice hoarse with emotion. "You're here? Like really here?"
With another sniffle, Callie gave a slight nod but, before she could utter even one word, Arizona's mouth was immediately against her own in a bruising kiss, an intimate tryst of needy lips and wanton tongues.
Callie moaned into the recesses of Arizona's mouth, shocked by the ferocity of her girlfriend' kiss. God, Callie loved this woman and, though she wanted to be angry at her for breaking her heart into a gazillion tiny pieces just over an hour before, she found herself completely unable to fault her. Because, Arizona was right. The distance did suck. Royally.
"I love you so much, Calliope Torres," Arizona whispered against Callie's lips when they finally drew apart for air. "I'm so sorry for. . .before. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
Callie gazed into the twinkling cerulean eyes she'd dreamed of every night since she'd first laid her own eyes on them just one year ago and, finding nothing but honesty and remorse within their gorgeous depths, she gave a slight shrug. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Arizona asked, her face falling.
Callie gave a slight nod. "Yeah. See, I just moved thousands of miles from my home to start a new job and to be closer to my girlfriend. My schedule's kind of insane right now, so I'll have to get back to you."
Seeing the hint of mischief in Callie's eyes and watching as a megawatt smile slowly spread across her face, Arizona felt her body relax at the knowledge that Callie was just teasing. "Merry Christmas, Calliope. You are the very best present I ever could have received."