Alfred rushed to the bank to pay his electricity and gas bills, the latter of which he did not know that he forgot to pay. When he got to the bank, there was literally 1 more minute before it closed down for New Year's day. "Aw crap aw crap aw crap aw crap!" cried Alfred as he rushed into the bank much to the surprise of the Bank Manager. "Excuse me sir" he said to Alfred rushing towards him "We're about to close for the New Year, we'll reopen on January 2nd."
"But this is urgent!" cried Alfred "I did not pay my electricity bills again this year!" The Bank Manager looked at Alfred. "Oh...not again..." he sighed "As I said, we will be closing this bank within seconds!" "BUT I WANT MY ELECTRICITY BACK, AND MY BILLS PAID, I'LL BE QUICK!" squealed a frantic Alfred who needed his electricity back. The Bank Manager gave in "I understand your situation, but we are gonna have to charge you $2 for making us run overtime" he said to Alfred. "That will go on top of your energy bill"
"Greg, close the entrance to the bank, we are closing now!" he called to a colleague "I'm gonna sort this man out here" Then the Bank Manager got to work to sort out Alfred's bill. "I sincerely hope that you've not forgotten to bring your credit card this time around" said the Bank Manager gravely as he got on his computer. Alfred had a shuffle through his pockets. "No sir, I have not" he replied and found his credit card. "Excellent" said the Manager as he saw Alfred's card. "Now will your fill your PIN number into the thingy here?"
Alfred always had trouble remembering his PIN number, so he had written it down in his wallet, but he had got a new Credit card as his old one had expired some time ago, so he had written that number down. "Okay...erm..." said Alfred "Here we go..." and he said the numbers quietly to himself. He was sure he was getting them right. Then he looked. "Aw Crap, incorrect pin?!" he gasped. He had made a small error in entering the PIN number.
Alfred tried again. He felt his heart thunder and his fingers shake as he entered in the correct pin number this time. "Whew, thank God that I got it right" he sighed. "Yes sir, you have" replied the Bank Manager as he scrolled around for Alfred's energy bills. "Do you get them through the mail?" he asked to Alfred. "Nah" replied Alfred "My postal company no longer delivers junk mail, and I class these bills as junk mail" "That is part of the problem sir" replied the Bank Manager.
The Bank manager them fumbled around for the bills, on the computer of course. Then he calculated the total amount of money that Alfred owed. "It seems that you've not paid your gas bills either" he said to Alfred. "WHAT?! HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Alfred as he heard what he had not paid. "I did not realize I had not paid my gas bills either!" "As a result, you've been cut off on both supplies" replied the Bank Manager "Once you pay this, I will tell them to reconnect you, but you must listen here Mr Jones"
Alfred listened "You seem to be spending too much of your money on crappy food" said the Bank Manager sternly. "I can see by your account history that it is the case unfortunately, not only is it having an effect on your diet and health, it is also having an unhealthy effect on your finances, so if you do not buy all this bad stuff that is bad for you, then you won't have it affect you in any financial way as well. But anyway, your total bill rounds up to $1,601,39 plus the extra $2 that we've applied for making us run overtime" Alfred could not believe his ears. "WHAAA?" he wailed.
The Bank Manager looked at Alfred who was all shocked over. "What the fuck?" gasped the emotionally blown over Alfred. "Are you crazy?! Dayum!" The Bank Manager looked sternly at Alfred. "Mr Jones, we are not crazy" he said "And we want to put your power back online and gas back on as soon as possible, so could you please be quiet while I do this! I don't want to have to be working overtime as we are closing early for New Year, so let me get on with it or I'll levy an extra $5 onto your bill!" Alfred subsided at that threat.
The Bank Manager got to work fiddling on with computer until he finally made the $1,601.39 out of Alfred's bank account to the energy companies. Then he made a phone call to the energy suppliers to restore power to his house but also put Alfred on a sort of warning scheme, that if he does not pay his bill by the end of the month after the bill had arrived, the power will go out in his house until he pays.
"Well there you go Mr Jones" said the Bank Manager to Alfred as he finished his phone calls with the energy suppliers. "The power to your house has been restored, and so has your gas and heating, but listen here, if you do not pay your bill the at the end of the month after it is due, ie. If you don't pay your bill for May by the end of June, your power will go out until you pay your bill, and I hope you wont spend the majority of your money on the Hamburgers and shit that you devour into your mouth, I hope that has been a lesson for you. Happy New Year and remember what I said"
Alfred sighed. "Well that insult was uncalled far...but okay...I gotta pay my bills then!" and with that he left to head back home. The Bank should of shut 15 minutes ago but the Manager had to sort out Alfred's electricity situation. "Thank God that's done and dusted" he sighed while he shut the bank for the New Year.
Back at Alfred's house, the lights and the heating had all gone back on. Arthur was relieved. "Thank God that is over, I was just worried that he would be permanently disconnected from the electricity board for no longer paying his electricity bills. And I have to say Emily, you've been the only source of heat and warmth for this cold Three Quarters of an hour. Yet could I suggest zipping your jacket up?" Emily looked at Arthur all fuzzy. "Well thanks sweetheart" she replied happily "Nah...I'm okay with my jacket unzipped, it's only when it's freezing or very cold that I do so..." Alice on the other hand was shivering.
"Brrrrrrrrr" she shivered "It's like the fucking Arctic in here when it's cold, or am I extremely heat sensitive?" Germany looked at Alice. "I don't give a fuck" he said sharply. "I alvays put up vizh zhe cold, as I am used to it in zhe vinter, and I am quite tough as vell" Italy on the other hand was trying to snuggle warm with Ludwig. "It's too cold for my liking" groaned Feliciano "Germany..." "Shut up!" barked Ludwig "Zhe heating is back on so it vill varm up again!" Feliciano slouched against the radiator and felt the heat. "Grazie a Dio" he sighed as the warmth began to penetrate him.
France was also relieved by the restoration of the power and the heating. "Mon Dieu" he sighed "I never knew it to be zis cold when ze power goes out!" "I just hope Alfred comes back soon" added Alice "Hope he can warm me up for a change, as my arse is frozen to the chair!" She meant that metaphorically of course. "Lucky you were not the one that had to leave, and leave Emily cold!" she said to Arthur. "Instead...I had to suffer...as usual..."
"Oh...suffer what?" asked Emily "Breast Envy so much?" Alice went red in the face. "DON'T YOU EVEN MENTION THAT EMILY!" she barked at Emily. "And yes, I've seen the Northern Counties' breasts, you're lucky to have yours the same size of Yorkshire and Cumbria...!" Arthur overheard. "What the fuck do you mean?" he spluttered. "There's Nyotalia versions of the counties" replied Alice. "And Yorkshire and Cumbria have the biggest breast size, exactly the same as Emily!" "Oh Bollocks, the Counties are annoying enough but now there is Nyotalia versions?!" spluttered Arthur. "Yes" replied Emily "We discovered them" "Nyotalia Shropshire laughed at me for my small rack!" fumed Alice. "But I am the same size as Nyotalia Lancashire, and thankfully, only Suffolk and Norfolk's are smaller than mine" "Oh poor Norfolk, she's flat chested, but Suffolk was proud of being flat chested" replied Emily. "Oh give up you two" sighed Arthur.
Arthur did not get along well with the Counties. The Northern Counties, Cheshire, Lancashire, Cumbria, Durham, Northumberland and especially Yorkshire were the most annoying of the lot. Even Surrey and Kent were to a degree a nuisance to Arthur. But that is another story. But the Nyotalia counties were also a nuisance to Alice as well, arguably even more of a nuisance when it came to breast size with Yorkshire and Cumbria jointly ranking it on top next to Emily, both of then were proud of it, and Suffolk and Norfolk being somewhat flat chested and being Norfolk envious of Alice in a way but Suffolk being proud of it. Anyway aside from that. *makes weird L4D2 Ellis adrenaline noises*
Alfred arrived back. "Whew...we got that sorted out" he panted. Alice was relieved to see him back but she was more bothered about his control over the electricity and the gas. "I just hope this won't happen when we're married" she said. "Nuh-uh" replied Alfred as he sat down. "I have this all under control now. If I don't pay up by the end of the month after my bill is due, I'll be cut off, so I gotta pay anyway if I want my electricity to carry on, and my gas as well" He sat down next to his fiancée.
Arthur and Alfred had a question to pop. "I've been thinking" said Arthur to Alfred. "As it is not long until I need to go for new year, could I take Emily with me?" Alfred thought about it. "Hmm...yeah, if she's happy with it, and I was also wanting to ask you if Alice could stay with me for the New Year" Alice blushed. "Well, I did think about it" she replied hastily "I am getting more used to you than I was a few months ago, so I can say I'll be happy to" "Uh well...okay" replied Alfred. Emily was of course delighted. "Yippee!" she squeaked. "Not so saucy" replied Alfred. "I am still only giving you a try first"
A bit later, it was time for Arthur to leave with Emily for the New Year. Italy, Germany and France had all left one year earlier. "Here, take this" said Alfred to Emily and he gave her a book for England 'Cooking for Dummies'. "This should help Iggy to cook better" Alfred chirped to Emily as Arthur was waiting for Emily. "Are you coming?" he asked bemusedly. "Yep I am!" replied Emily. "What's that you've got here?" puzzled Arthur as he noticed the book in Emily's arm.
"Alfred Gave me this" replied Emily and then she showed him the book 'Cooking for Dummies'. "Oh" replied Alfred "Interesting...somewhat peculiar...but then again, I was on the verge of resorting to ready meals because my cooking is bad and I'm a lazy wanker at times" Arthur seemed to sigh as he took the book and walked out of the door. "Happy New Year then" he said as he left the door, leaving Alfred on his own with Alice.
Alfred sighed and looked at his watch. It was 6:45pm EST, or 18:45 for you 24hr guys. "Well, looks like we can do with something to eat" he said to Alice. "I can do with a hot dog" replied Alice "Maybe you can go for a Salad or something instead" Alfred let out a heavy sigh "Yeah...yeah...yeah...I'll have a Big Mac when it gets to the New Year hour" he replied and then went into the kitchen. Alice smiled. "Well...New Year's resolution, eat more salads and less junk food?" "What?!" replied Alfred from the Kitchen "Says the one who wants a hot dog!" Alice chortled at it.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS! THAT'S IT.
BTW, I MYSELF WAS THE BANK MANAGER. Even though I don't wanna be a Bank Manager, and not really good with finances, I did take the role of that. But hey ho...