Hey guys! So last time I updated it had been a while so I understand why I didn't get as many reviews. The most I've gotten for one chapter is 3 so can we make it 4 this time? Enjoy and have a great Labor Day!
I think that what they injected into me is finally starting to wear off. The nausea is fading and, while the headache persists, it no longer sends the room spinning every time I stand up. What is not fading though, is the memory. In fact, it gets clearer with every passing minute. The more I think about it, the more I feel like that is actually what I watched all along, even during the replay of the Games a year ago. It unsettles me. I can't imagine Peeta doing something like that. Finnick even said during the games that he might be the only Victor that won the Games by chance. But what I think of him and what I know other people think of him doesn't match up with what I saw on that screen.
Before I can fully decipher what I saw, the guards are dragging me back into that same room with the television screen. It makes me start to panic. I don't want those feelings to start again. I don't want to see Peeta do that again. I am strapped once again into the chair. I twist around and see Snow sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, a small smile on his face.
"What did you do to me yesterday?" I ask him.
"We didn't do that to hurt you Miss Everdeen." He replies cooly, "We did that to help you. We want you to see things the way we do. We want you to know who you can trust."
"I can trust Peeta." I say firmly.
He chuckles a little bit, "We'll see if you still feel that way after these sessions."
He turns the Tv on and I am forced to hold still as they inject me again. The effects are instantaneous. I am immediately set on edge, terrified of what I might see. Again, they show footage from the first Games. This time it's Peeta hunting with the Careers. No, not just hunting, they are hunting for me. I hear Cato talking about me. He is asking Peeta where I might have gone. I thought I remembered Peeta lying to them, telling them I had gone the opposite direction.
But instead he says to them, "I saw her traps over there. We need to go this way."
"Are you sure they are hers?" Cato asks.
Peeta nods, "i saw her practicing them in training. I'm sure."
"You better be right about this Lover Boy." Cato replies fiercely.
"I am." Peeta says.
I see him flash them a smirk. But it's not the playful one I'm familiar with. It's harsher, more cunning, exactly like the other Careers. I'm struggling with this because their conversation is familiar. I know that's what they said but I thought Peeta was lying to protect me, to lead them away from me. But maybe I had it backwards. Maybe he really was trying to lead them to me and I was lucky enough to hear them and go the other way. I shake my head trying to clear it. Where is this coming from? He would never do that. But thick shadows of doubt creep into my mind. Things are starting to add up. I think Peeta might not have really been who I thought he was.
I thought the tapes were over for today but Snow presses play again, I am injected, and the cycle starts over.
I stumble back to my room later that day in a horrible state. I feel sick. They injected me at least three times, maybe more but I started to lose track. He played more tapes from the first Games, each one portraying Peeta as more and more vicious, more and more heartless. I can't tell what was real and what wasn't. I hate this feeling. I hate being so unsure of myself. My prior thoughts towards Peeta are severely conflicting with what Snow showed me today. It would be easier if I thought he was changing these tapes, making them up, trying to trick me. But I remember every conversation that took place, it's just that I'm seeing with a new light or a new perspective. Knowing that the rebels rescued him and not me certainly doesn't help.
I know I'm being selfish. Honestly I can see why they would rescue him first. His persuasive way of speaking is a skill that I could never accomplish, and it's so strong that I could see him leading this rebellion with just his words. Maybe this President Coin thought I would be better as a martyr? But it's still nagging at me that they managed to save Beetee and left me for dead in the arena. I was just yards from him when I blew the arena up, wouldn't they have had time to get me too?
I run the memories over and over in my head until I eventually fall asleep
Snow calls me back into the room with him the next day. He says he wants to hear my thought on the rebels now that I've seen the videos. He must know that I would never tell him how I really feel. I may be having second thoughts about Peeta but that doesn't mean I trust him, and by extension the Capital, any more.
So I try to lie, "Nothing's changed." but I hear my own voice falter at the end. As hard as I try to bring up the memories I had of the first Games, the convince myself Peeta didn't really act like that, all I can find is what I saw on the tapes.
Snow smiles a little, "You sound unsure of yourself."
I shake my head and swallow hard, "You've been lying to me since I won the Games. Why should I believe anything you sure me now?" I try to sound confident but the unsteadiness still creeps into my voice.
"Ah but you do believe it, don't you Miss Everdeen?" Snow says, "Your feelings towards him have blinded you. We just helped you see who he really is." I say nothing so he keeps talking, "Maybe another video will jog your memory."
I shake my head fiercely, knowing that will mean another injection and another day of confusion, but he just chuckles softly and I am put back in the chair.
When I am injected this time, something is different. It feels worse than it has before. Clearly they have upped the dosage of whatever they've been shooting into my arm. When the video turns on this time, it plays the finale of the first Games. I shudder, remembering the horrible mutts that chased us up the Cornucopia. The video starts off normal, then I feel the injection start to kick in.
Suddenly the screen changes, it seems darker, the mutts seem bigger. Peeta ends up beating me to the Cornucopia, which I don't remember happening. He pulls himself up but when I reach up for help he just stares at me. I shake my head watching this because I know that's not how it happened. But even as I tell myself that, the doubt starts to creep back in. It seems so real though. The mutts are catching up to me now and I am screaming at Peeta for help but he just glares at me from the top of the Cornucopia, not even making a move in my direction.
"Turn it off!" I shout at Snow, "Please!" I thrash against my restraints, trying to pull myself out of the chair but they won't budge. I close my eyes tightly, trying to block out the new memory forming in my head. I can't stop it though, and it solidifies in my head convincing me of its reality. Snow finally turns off the TV and I am forced to stand up. I am sobbing now, trying to force this new memory out of my head. That couldn't have been how it really happened. But there is a voice in the back of my head convincing me that it was real, which makes me cry harder.
"Enough." Snow says loudly, "You are now going to report to a new prep team. In an hour you will be giving an interview with Caesar Flickerman and if you don't convince everyone in this country that you are on our side and that a cease-fire is the only way out I don't think you will be too happy with the consequences. Understand?"
I nod without saying anything. I have never been more scared of Snow than I am right now. I know he takes pleasure in this, I can see it in his eyes. And that makes him more sadistic and more despicable than any other human being I've met. But I have no choice but to listen to him.
An hour later, I am prepped and ready to go onstage. The prep team did a pretty good job of hiding the fact that my eyes are still swollen and puffy. It's more obvious now though how little I've eaten.
I am sent onstage to thunderous applause from the Capital citizens and I sit in a char next to Caesar.
"So Katniss, I have to ask you," Caesar starts, "Are you still convinced that a cease-fire is the only way to go?"
I barely hear what he says, I can still feel the injection racing through my body sending it in and out of focus. I feel as though I might throw up any minute but I have to hold it together. I swallow hard, "Yes Caesar. I don't think the rebels have the capability to take over the Capital. If they really want to save lives, they should put down their weapons now."
"And you say this even though your own District is taking refuge in District 13?" Caesar asks.
I laugh softly, "You mean what's left of my District? That's exactly what I'm talking about. So many have died already. We can't afford to lose even more."
"How do you feel now that you know some of your fellow Victors are safe in 13 and that they were in on this all along?"
"Betrayed." I say immediately, "I just think that they should have told me. If they wanted me to be safe then they should have told me what was going on."
"Do you regret trusting them?" Caesar asks.
I nod, "Yeah, I thought they were on my side but they were lying to me the whole time."
"Do you have anything to say to Peeta if he is watching in District 13?" Caesar asks.
I immediately tense up at the sound of his name. I struggle with what to say before I blurt out, "I wish he had been honest with me. That's all."
Caesar thanks me and I barely make it back to my cell before I burst into tears. I went into that interview thinking I was going to lie my way through it but most of what I said was true. I do feel betrayed, by Peeta more than anyone. The videos I've been watching have only reinforced the fact that I never should have trusted him. Caesar basically told me today that he did know about the rebellion all along. I'm just so confused. I don't understand how he was acting like that all along and I never noticed. Was Snow right? Was he blinding me? If he was then he isn't anymore. Snow is showing me where his true loyalties lie and it breaks my heart that it was never with me.
Alright that's it for this chapter. The injections are slowly going up and distorting her memories more and more so the story is going to keep getting darker. I hope you liked this chapter and don't forget to leave a review. I really hope we can get to 4 this chapter! Have a great Labor Day and I will try to update again this week!
Here are reviews responses from last chapter:
aprilgirl01: Thank you! I'm glad you like the hijacking. I struggled for a while trying to figure out how to write that but I like the way it ended up. Hope you liked this chapter as well:)
candyluver88: So glad you are enjoying it! Hope you like this chapter just as much :)