Gabriella Ellis Grey-Shepherd no matter how many times Meredith looked at Ella's birth certificate, she still didn't know what possessed her to register Derek as the father. Maybe it was because she wanted Ella to be able to trace Derek when she was older, or maybe she just wasn't as strong as she hoped she would be. An hour after registering Ella's birth a letter from Derek's attorney had arrived at the house. Ella was only a week and a half old, but already she was looking more and more like Derek.
"What am I going to do huh?" said Meredith softly stroking Ella's cheek as she slept.
"You are going to hire a damn good lawyer," said Cristina letting herself in the back door and sitting down at the kitchen table next to Meredith. "McDreamy wants to drag it through the law let him, you could hold it up until she turns eighteen."
"But…"
"No buts," said Cristina. "Do you really want McDreamy and the nurse playing happy families with…Gabriella?"
"Ella," said Meredith. "Her name is Ella."
"Right it's pretty," shrugged Cristina.
"Thanks," said Meredith.
"Anyway back to McDreamy, you need a lawyer there is no way he can get a DNA test if you refuse I mean she's a newborn!"
"I know," sighed Meredith. "But he is still her Dad."
"You warned me you would do this," sighed Cristina. "You don't want Derek in her life, okay? He broke you, he might be a nice guy but you two can't be around each other without someone getting hurt remember Addison, Finn and you remember how you were when he cheated on you…"
"He didn't exactly…"
"He cheated on you with the nurse," said Cristina flatly. "He can go and have kids with her if he wants to be a father."
"Right…okay," said Meredith feeling more determined. "You're right of course you're right, he can have a kid with her."
Although she sounded as though she meant it, Meredith couldn't help but doubt that she was doing the right thing. She had grown up without her Dad around and now she was screwed up, she didn't want that for Ella. But she didn't want Ella to feel second best when Derek did go on to start a family with someone else. But on the other hand Derek was her father and he would be a great Dad, Meredith didn't doubt that. She could at least comfort herself with the fact that Ella would never remember what would happen in the next few months when Derek started to fight for his paternal rights.
"So things went well today I heard," said Alex.
Meredith had had her first court hearing about Ella's custody that day, it was a formality to see if Derek and Meredith could work things out without the help of the courts. Meredith's lawyer did everything he was told to do, denied that Derek was Ella's father and that he had no business saying that he was. But then Derek did the worst possible thing he asked for a photo of Ella, he actually asked for a photo of his own daughter. Meredith couldn't have felt worse, Derek hadn't seen his daughter since she was a few hours old, he hadn't even held her and she was nearly three weeks old now.
"Yeah…I guess," sighed Meredith.
"You don't sound too sure?"
"He asked for a photo," said Meredith numbly. "He wanted a photo of Ella."
"Did you give him one?"
"No."
"That's a little harsh."
"I know."
"What's going on Grey? I thought this was what you wanted," said Alex. "Ella will be better off without him. Fathers aren't much use anyway, look at mine and yours."
"I know this is what I wanted," said Meredith not even convincing herself. "But…a photo?"
"What do want me to say to you?" said Alex bluntly.
"I don't know."
The next day Meredith snuck into the scrub room, she had transferred back to Seattle Grace Derek knew about Ella there was no reason to stay at Mercy West anymore, she had just been to see the Chief to sort out a star date for her to come back. Derek was due to operate in the OR and would be there in a few minutes. Meredith spotted his ferryboat scrub cap sitting at the sink, and before she could lose her nerve she placed a photo of Ella inside it and covered it up. In the end she couldn't deny Derek the chance to at least see what his daughter looked like.
"Meredith what are you doing here?" demanded Derek coming into the scrub with shock written all over his face.
"Me? Oh I was just…looking for my…earring but I see it isn't here," said Meredith her voice an octave higher than normal.
"You shouldn't be here," he said harshly.
"You're right I shouldn't be," said Meredith calmly. "Have a nice day Dr. Shepherd."
"Likewise Dr. Grey," said Derek stiffly.
Meredith took a deep breath and left the scrub room, she didn't make it to the end of the corridor when she felt Derek grab her and spin her round. She looked up into his angry face and knew she had made a mistake.
"What does this mean?" he asked somewhat desperately as he held up the picture of Ella.
"It's just a picture," she said flatly. "You said you wanted one, there it is."
"Just a picture?"
"Just a picture," said Meredith flatly.
"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked desperately. "Am I such a terrible person that you can't bear to let me even near her?"
"You're not a terrible person," said Meredith before she could stop herself.
"I don't even know her name."
"It's Ella," said Meredith. "Gabriella Ellis Grey."
"Ella? I like it," said Derek. "It doesn't have to be this hard Meredith, we can be friends…"
"Like we were before, yeah that worked out real well," snapped Meredith pulling herself out of her McDreamy daze.
"It would be different we have a child…"
"It's never different Derek, I wanted a clean break. I want a life that you are no part of…"
"And what about Ella…"
"What do you know about Ella? You've never seen her, you've never held her, you don't get up in the middle of the night to feed, you've never changed her nappy, you weren't there for her first breath or her first kick. So don't you try and tell me what is right for her because you don't have the first idea!"
"It is not my fault that you won't let me see her," hissed Derek.
"Why don't you just go and have a baby with your nurse and forget about us, we don't want or need you?"
"Is that what this is about, Rose? Are you really that jealous…"
"I'm not jealous of Rose, she's welcome to you," snapped Meredith.
"Just bitter then?"
"I am entitled to be a little bitter about her," hissed Meredith. "But no she is not even factor, it's you. It's you that I don't want near my daughter."
"Our daughter."
"Can you prove that?"
"Alright you two that is enough!" said Mark stepping in between Derek and Meredith who looked ready to kill each other. "Save it for the courtroom."
"I will prove it, all it take is a little cheek swab and you can't deny me my rights!"
"You can't get that little cheek swab if you can't find us, can you?" Meredith threatened.
"You both need to cool off," said Mark firmly. "You shouldn't even be talking about the case with each other."
"Oh I'm going," said Meredith storming.
"Running away again, how unlike you Dr. Grey," Derek called after him, he knew deep down that arguing with Meredith wasn't the smart thing to do but she just made his blood boil and he couldn't help it.
"Yeah I'm going home to my baby," she called over her shoulder.
I got so many reviews for the last chapter that I felt I just had to update again tonight. So if I get even more reviews for this chapter than the last then I will update again within 24 hours.
I know Rose and Derek are still together in this story but it is a MerDer fic because I love them and Rose is just a pain but she makes a good obstacle for the story. So don't abandon this story because Meredith and Derek seem to hate each other, they don't really.
That is the longest Author note I have ever written, I just wanted to clear a few things up.