Chapter Four: Speaking with Ms. Munroe
It was last period English when I saw Ms. Munroe again. She seemed down, depressed, the complete polar opposite of her cheery self yesterday. After tuition I headed down to her classroom, knowing that she should still be there because my tutor generally let us out earlier than others.
Her tuition group were just letting out as I knocked on the door. She smiled weakly at me and gestured for me to come in.
"Are you okay?" I couldn't stop myself from asking, I couldn't bear the thought of her being upset.
"Yeah, I just… It's nothing." She lied, her voice wavering slightly. I went to push to find out what was wrong but she carried on, "Rebel Russo, how much of a rebel are you exactly? I mean I know you're cocky and mouthy in class but outside of school… what kind of things do you do?" She inquired nervously. I raised an eyebrow at her, one that said 'as if I'm going to tell you what I'm like,' and she continued. "It won't go any further, whatever you tell me, I promise. It's just I'm having some issues with my daughter at the minute. I won't go into detail but she's not the angel mirror-reflection of me that I thought she was."
I sighed audibly and sat on the plastic chair that was next to her swivel one. "I don't know; I do what normal teenagers do; I drink, I smoke, I guess I'm technically a virgin but I wouldn't class myself as one and I've played around with drugs in the past." I informed her honestly. I trusted her when she said it wouldn't go any further. She seemed slightly shocked at what I'd just disclosed to her.
"That's all normal?" She asked, as if she really didn't know. I nodded to tell her yes and she continued. "You don't have to answer this but when you say you're technically a virgin…" She trailed off, not wanting to actually ask about it.
"I've only had sex with one person and she was a girl so she didn't really have the right parts for it to be proper sex. I'd call it proper sex but others might not." I explained openly. I'd never hidden my sexuality from anyone; I'd just never brought it up.
"You like girls?" She asked, pure shock lacing her words. She didn't seem disgusted or angry or anything along those lines, just curious. Again, I nodded to tell her yes. "You don't seem like the type…"
"I know yeah, I'm not really up for shaving my hair off yet but who knows, maybe in the future…" I joked, causing her to let a small chuckle escape her lips. "Yeah, I've always liked girls; I just never 'came out'."
Her head snapped up and she looked at me confusedly. "So why have you just told me?"
"I would never deny it if I were asked, I just don't understand why I should have to come out when straight people don't. Everyone just assumes that everyone's straight and not everyone is so purely for the principle of it I haven't come out yet. It's not that I'm ashamed or anything, I embrace it, it's just because I don't feel the need to. If I were to have a girlfriend I wouldn't hide it, but until then I don't see any reason why it should be anyone else's business anyway." It was complicated the way I felt about it but she seemed to understand.
"Do your parents know about everything you do?" Ms. Munroe asked shakily. I nodded. "And how did they react to it?"
"They tried to discipline me when I was younger but it never worked so now they just accept it. They let me go out for a cigarette whenever I need one; I can smoke in my bedroom as long as the door is closed, the windows are open and providing I don't smoke in the communal areas. They let me drink and make sure I have taxi fare or an alternate way of getting home so that I'm safe. I think they've guessed that I've had sex; I just wouldn't dare ever do it whilst they're in the house because it's disrespectful. The only thing that they don't know is that I'm gay. I know they'd be okay with it but I don't want to risk telling them when I don't have a reason to yet."
"I feel like I'm being too hard on my daughter, do you think I am?" She asked, expecting me to just know what her daughter had done and how she'd punished her for it.
"I don't know anything about it but if it's anything along the lines of what I do then you shouldn't punish her for it, she'll only rebel against you and get sneakier. If you make her hide it from you then you don't know what she's doing. Say for instance that she's smoking and drinking; if you let her do it then you know what she's smoking and how much she's drinking. You can moderate how much of it she's doing and make sure she's staying safe rather than making her fight you and hide it all."
She seemed to be contemplating it; she rested her chin on the palm of her hand and ran her other hand through her long light brown hair. "I think you may just be the smartest seventeen year-old I've ever met. I probably will regret taking your parenting advice but I think you're right."
After bidding goodbye to Ms. Munroe I got in my car and called Mitchie. She'd given me her house phone number for whilst she didn't have her phone and on the second ring she picked up, sounding out of breath. "Hello?" She asked into the receiver exasperatedly.
"Hey, Mitch. It's Alex, I was wondering if you wanted a ride to work?" I offered her as I put my keys in the ignition and started the engine.
"If you don't mind that'd be great, thanks."
"Okay then, I'll pick you up in ten, are you ready to go?"
"I just need to change out of my uniform so I will be ready, yeah."
"Great. See you in a bit."
"Bye."
I smiled as I hit the 'end call button' and backed out of my parking space. Mitchie was really cool and she was beautiful. Her black hair cascaded over her shoulders and everything about her was just generally flawless. The low cut shirt she had on was definitely an added bonus and I was secretly praying that she'd wear a similar one when I picked her up.
As I pulled up in front of her driveway she was waiting outside wearing a grey V-neck sweater and a black skirt that came to her mid-thighs. I wolf-whistled at her through the open window as I pulled over in front of her which caused her to blush furiously and duck her head. "Hey hottie, hop in!" I called to her as she opened the car door.
"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself." She flirted back with a wink. I giggled and handed her my cigarette packet. She took one out and lit it, rolling down her own window to let the smoke out. "You're a life saver; I couldn't get any today so I literally have been suffering all day." She told me as she gratefully blew out the smoke she'd previously inhaled.
"Who said you could smoke in the car?" I jokingly asked her. She got a panicked look on her face and went to throw the fag away but I burst into laughter before she could. "Dude, chill." I told her as I held up my own half-smoked cigarette which was resting between my fingers as I held onto the steering wheel.
"You bastard," She laughed as she took another greedy drag.
"You bastard," I mocked her in a high-pitched voice.
"I do not talk like that." She stated firmly. I laughed at how easily she was getting wound up and mimicked her again in an equally high pitched voice as before.
I spent the entire car journey mimicking her and as we parked in the parking lot for my apartment block she finally lost her temper and punched me in the arm hard enough for it to hurt but soft enough for me to know she didn't mean it. "Ouch, abuse!" I yelled as I rubbed the sore spot on my arm.
"Shut up." She said as she smacked me around the back of the head softly and got out of the car. We began walking from the parking lot to the sub-station, as we got to about half way there she stopped me and pulled me over. "Alex, I have to ask you something…" She trailed off nervously, biting her lip in an oh-so-cute manner. "You're like my only friend right now… which makes you my best friend, so I need you to give me some friends' advice…" I nodded for her to continue. Rebel Russo: forever giving girls advice. "Have you ever… had romantic feelings of any sort for… another erm…" She trailed off but I knew where she was going.
"Girl?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. Mitchie nodded and ducked her hair, focusing on her four inch stiletto heels. Such a girl. "You can say it, Mitch. You don't have to be embarrassed. It's totally normal, yeah I have. I still do get feelings for girls, I'm gay." I told her openly. She'd asked rather than done the typical thing and just assumed I was straight. If people actually asked rather than making the assumption then I probably would be out.
"I think… I think maybe I am too." She admitted quietly. I smiled and pulled her in for a hug, whispering to her that it's okay. "I'm not sure though. I've never even… I've only ever been with guys, so I don't know." She muttered into my shoulder. I pushed away from her slightly and looked into her eyes.
I placed the pad of my thumb in the indent of her chin and my middle and forefinger underneath. Tilting her head up slightly, I captured her soft lips between mine and kissed her slowly. I kept telling myself over and over again that I was only doing it to help her out but realistically I knew I wasn't.
After a few moments her hands were in my hair and my hands were resting on the small of her back, pulling her in closer to me, a throaty moan erupted from her as my tongue swiped her bottom lip and she opened her mouth. Our lips moved together and she tugged at my hair lightly.
I took a chance and slipped my tongue into her mouth slowly which she reciprocated, battling our tongues for dominance.
After a good few minutes we pulled apart and rested our foreheads against one another. "I'm think I might be gay." She whispered to me with a smile, slightly in disbelief.
"Don't make your decision too soon, I'm happy to help you work it out again if you're not sure." I hinted unsubtly.
"Well then I guess I'm still unsure." She quickly responded. I chuckled and captured her lips again quickly for a peck before pulling away.
"Great." I grinned at her and pulled away, continuing the walk to the back door of the restaurant. We waved hello to my dad and went straight upstairs into my family's apartment. I had to change out of my school uniform and we still had half an hour before our shifts started. My dad would never pay us extra for working longer than he stated so there was no point in starting early.
"Hey, mija." My mom greeted us when she heard the door open. She looked up from the laundry she was sorting out and noticed Mitchie behind me looking flustered. "Hello, I'm Theresa, Alex's mom," she introduced herself eagerly, shaking Mitchie's hand after walking over to us briskly. "Alex, honey, you didn't tell me you were bringing a friend over."
"Oh, no mom, she's the new employee downstairs, I just gave her a lift to work and now we're going up to my room so I can get changed and so we can smoke." I told her as we began walking through the open-planned downstairs. I grabbed Mitchie's hand and led her upstairs, past Max's room which had a stench coming out of it that caused her to wrinkle up her nose, and into my room.
I closed the door behind us and before I'd even had chance to click the lock I found myself pressed against the door with Mitchie's lips attached to mine. "Thanks for this," She mumbled in between kisses, as if I were actually doing a favour.
"Any time… seriously," I smirked at her and dipped my head down to kiss her neck and down the V-neck of her sweater. She moaned loudly and I pressed my hand to her mouth to keep her quiet; if my parents heard I'd be dead. I'd been warned about sex whilst they're home. "Shh, parents." I told her simply. She understood and pulled my head back up to hers so we could reconnect our lips.
Fifteen minutes later we had retreated to the bed after I'd gotten round to clicking the lock on my bedroom door. I was on top, being the more dominant one, straddling her waist with my lips attached to her neck, sucking lightly on it whilst my hands roamed around under her sweater on her soft skin.
I reached up to her breasts and gave them a small squeeze through her bra and she took in a sharp intake of breath, her grip on the back of my neck tightening and her nails digging in slightly.
"We… need… to… stop." I told her in between kisses to her slightly-exposed cleavage. I pulled my lips away and quickly pecked her mouth before getting up and taking off my school blazer.
"Uhhh… do you want me to leave?" Mitchie asked awkwardly, covering her eyes at the sight of me changing. I unbuttoned my blouse and let it drop loosely from my arms, pooling around the back of my legs. I laughed at what she'd said, as if I was bothered about her seeing me in my underwear.
"Of course not you idiot, after that I don't think it makes a difference." I told her seriously as I effortlessly slipped my skirt down my legs, followed by my skin-coloured tights. "Have a fag if you want one, my packet is in my blazer pocket and there's an ashtray on the window-ledge." I offered to her, causing her to get up, get a fag then spark one. The smell of smoke instantly filled the room as I picked out a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a red tank top to put on. "Ready?" I asked Mitchie, taking the lit cigarette from her hand and taking the last few drags.
She got up and nodded in answer to my question, prompting us to both head downstairs to the restaurant where my dad and Max both seemed to be rushed off their feet.
We'd share a flirtatious smile or a wink every now and again during work but we were so busy that we didn't really have chance to speak anymore, let alone make out. At the end of the evening when the restaurant was finally empty at quarter to ten we helped to wipe the tables down whilst my dad cleaned up in the kitchen.
"Girls, here's your money." He told us, handing both of us thirty-six dollars; enough for a date if she answered yes to my next planned question. "Goodnight, Mitchie." He bade her goodnight as we walked out of the door to leave. She called back to him and let the door swing closed behind us.
"So then, have you decided whether or not you're gay?" I asked her, hinting.
"I think so; I think I am."
"Good, then how would you feel about a date… with me?" I offered casually, catching her off guard.
"I'm sorry, what?" She asked, probably checking she'd heard me correctly.
"You, me, dinner, movie, ice cream, maybe a few innocent kisses and hand holding?" I offered her seriously, brushing the back of my hand against hers as our arms swung whilst we walked.
"I… yeah, definitely... I'd love to, but my ass is grounded at the minute so it won't be any time soon." She reminded me quietly. Of course she was grounded.
"That's okay; we'll have these little rendezvous' before work and after until you're ungrounded." I suggested as we reached my car and I unlocked it.
"Perfect."
Mitchie's POV
When I got home my mom was sitting on the couch, my incriminating evidence still laid out on the table. "Hey Mitch, come sit down, we'll talk." She told me tiredly, patting the empty space on the couch next to her. I smiled; she wanted me to sit next to her which I guessed was another step forward so I took the opportunity and sat next to her, praying to God that I didn't smell like cigarettes from Alex's car. "So I've spoken to someone at school about you and… that." She trailed off quietly, clearly still uncomfortable with the thought of it all. "I've been too hard on you. You're almost an eighteen year old girl and I was naïve to think that you'd never get caught up in any of this stuff. After a lot of thought I've come to a decision…" She began to explain, probably causing my eyes to light up at the thought of my punishment being lifted.
"And what's that?" I asked her impatiently, eying my cigarettes, vodka, fake ID, weed, condoms and vibrator. God, after spending so long with Alex and touching her the way I did, I really needed it back. Maybe I could sneak it… My mom took a shaky breath and braced herself for what she was about to say, clearly this was big.
"I've decided, with the help of someone from school, that you can have the majority of that back. There are conditions though." She explained. I grinned at her thankfully, hoping that my vibrator was included in the 'most of that,' because I really needed it. "You can have your cigarettes back but I never, ever want to see you smoking. If I'm in the front room you will go out the back and vice versa. You can smoke on your balcony and in your car but not in my car nor in my house." She began, picking up the packets from the table and handing them to me, which I accepted, finding the whole conversation surreal. "You can have your vodka back but I want to know when you're drinking it, who you're with, how much you're drinking and I will take your car keys when you're drinking so you can't be tempted to drive. If I think you're drinking too much I'll take it off you and if I find out you're drinking it and haven't told me I'll ground you and take it away." She continued, handing me the three bottles of vodka, which once again shocked me.
"Why are yo…" I began to ask her but she cut me off.
"You can have your ID back because I will not be going in the shop for your things, ever, so don't even ask. I don't want you asking random strangers and I know if I don't give it you back then you'll just go and get another one anyway. Mitchie, I swear to God if you get any tattoos with this I will take it. Now is your time to tell me if you have any." She threatened and I quickly lifted my shirt to show her the tattoo on my ribcage. 'You make me beautiful' and a feather. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised considering everything else since yesterday. I'm glad you got something that's so sentimental to you rather than something ridiculous that you'd end up hating. No more." She told me firmly. She knew that the song those lyrics were from gave me confidence when I was feeling depressed about my body so she probably didn't see the need to go mad about it. "You can have those back as well." She told me, throwing the box of condoms to me, not that I'd need them after my recent thoughts and feelings for Alex. "No sex in my house, especially no sex in my house whilst I'm in. As usual, no boys sleeping over and if you get pregnant you're on your own because I've given you what you need to prevent it." She told me firmly. I nodded in agreement, secretly knowing that there was no way Alex was going to get me pregnant.
"Thank you mom." I told her quietly, hoping she'd carry on and give me my weed and vibrator back. "What about…" I trailed off when she didn't speak.
"You are not having the drugs back, not under any circumstances whatsoever. We're going to burn that in the garden and you're going to watch as part of your punishment." She told me, ignoring the pink vibrator residing on the table. It was on a pile of tissue which I'd only just noticed, it were as if she thought I didn't keep it clean or something.
"And my vibra…" I began to ask but she cut me off quickly in shock.
"Don't say it... you can have it back but I am not touching it to give it to you. I don't want to see it again, ever, it's disturbing. I change your bed sheets so please don't leave it under your pillow or anything. I don't want to hear it when you use it either, remember that my bedroom is next door to yours. As much as it disgusts me I would much rather that you use that than go and get someone else to do it for you. You know how I feel about all this kind of stuff." She told me seriously, eying my vibrator as if it were something disgusting.
"Thank you!" I exclaimed, probably a little too gratefully. She so knew what I was going to be doing as soon as I went to bed. Don't blame me mom, blame Alex.
My mom picked up the bag of weed and led me out to the garden where she threw it on the bonfire that we used to dispose of rubbish when we first moved. She didn't seem to think about actually lighting it as she looked at it helplessly. "Do you need a light?" I asked her with an eyebrow raised. She nodded sheepishly before accepting the lighter I handed to her with a disapproving look on her face.
I watched as she burnt my weed and the overwhelming smell filled the air. "You're still grounded for a month, you can have your car back in a week and if you break my new rules I will ground you again or extend your time. If you do any drugs again and I find out about it you will no longer be welcome in this house, do you understand me, Mitchie?" She asked me firmly. I nodded quickly, too scared to argue with her. She wouldn't have to know about the drugs, I'd been hiding it for three years, a few more wouldn't hurt. "Mitchie, I will search your room occasionally to ensure that you're sticking to your side of the deal."
And there goes the easiness of hiding my drug habits.