Emily Fields walks the halls of the familiar place holding the thick straps of her black backpack. People's eyes follow her as she tries to remain composed as she knows people see her and her friends now as the tormented girls of Rosewood. Before 'A' she would have let them stare and accept their pity. She would run home the second the bell rang and find a quiet place in the woods to wallow. Now, she feels pity for the girl she used to be. Her blood begins to boil, a mixture of emotions catching up with her and she stops in her tracks to scream at the closest onlookers.
"Em," she hears stopping the growl from releasing from her teeth. She inhales a deep breath and clutches her straps tighter. "Em, wow. You're going to rip your backpack to shreds with that death-grip" Spencer says giving her that knowing Hastings look.
"I just- I can't handle everyone gawking at us," Emily says releasing her grasp on her bag and dropping her fists to her side.
"Don't look at them. They are just bored with their own lives," Spencer cuts with a dark glance at the people staring around them.
"You're right. Let's go to lunch," Emily adds as they make their way to their favorite table outside. Aria Montgomery and Hanna Marin are already seated across from one another, Hanna talking very animatedly as Aria nods along with the conversation.
"Shoes or boys?" Spencer asks Emily as they slowly walk to their friends.
"Shoes," she answers, "loser buys the snacks for tonight." Spencer replies with a nod as they get close enough to hear what Hanna and Aria's topic of conversation.
"… I said Caleb, you can't just run in Jimmy Choo healed booties. Then he made fun of me, so now we are in a fight." Hannah says as Aria politely smiles at her friend. Spencer and Emily squint at each other to decide who won the bet when Hanna notices them.
"Hey! Come sit. Why are you looking at each other so weird," She says excitedly.
"Oh, nothing we were just talking about shoes," she jokes, "Tie?" Emily says and Spencer nods. They join their friends at the table. Emily sits next to Hanna and Spencer joins Aria. They talk about their day and dig into their meals holding casual conversation.
"It's kind of weird just chatting," Aria begins, "you know. Just about our days. Not having to worry about anything." All the girls smiled at her and breathed easy. Except Emily. She still felt uneasy. She couldn't get all the way back into the groove of things. There was something that was still eating at her, kept her restless and unnerved. Emily has had one good night of sleep in the last three years and it was the night that Alison DiLaurentis had opened up to her. Had let her in and told her that she was more than just practice.
That night they kissed, a real kiss. Every feeling she had before Ali left came rushing back. Thinking about it made her tense up. The way her soft body felt like when she maneuvered on top of her, the small of her back arching up when she pulled her hair to bring her closer and the way that their lips moved perfectly in sync as if no time had ever passed between them. They fell asleep in each other's arms, the closest she has ever felt to someone.
She tried to reciprocate the way she felt about Ali with other girls, but it just wasn't the same. No matter how good a relationship would become, she always thought about the blonde girl who crushed her heart. Years later, and she still is always somewhere lingering in her mind.
"So what time are we meeting at Emily?" Hanna asks.
"Seven!" Alison interjects, plopping down next to Emily, "I have to go to a French meeting before that."
"Works for me, I promised Toby I would eat dinner with him," Spencer says before shoving a carrot into her mouth. Aria gives a thumbs up and Hanna nods to give their approval of the time.
"Em?" Alison asked. Emily just looked at her, forgetting every word in the English language.
"Earth to Emily, are you there?" Hanna asks with a chuckle. Alison places a hand on Emily's lower thigh, which prompts Emily to abruptly stand up.
"Sounds great, I need to go talk to my History professor. See everyone then. Spencer I will get the snacks," She says as she darts off leaving her lunch and a small sliver of her dignity. As she reaches the entrance to the building she swings the door open and looks back at her friends, because she can feel a pair of eyes burning the back of her head. Alison's icy eyes are peering into Emily's. Emily can see a tinge of hurt behind her friend's eyes as she turns and heads to anywhere but there.
The Field's doorbell rings. "Emily, will you get it? I'm trying to get these cookies in the oven before you friends come over!" Pam Fields yells to her daughter as Emily finishes her leg workouts for the day. She pulls a tank top over her sports bra that falls flush to her body, showing her toned physique. Her long, thick hair is thrown into a messy ponytail and her skin is a little flush from the workout.
She opens the door to see Alison DiLaurentis standing on her porch in a bright floral sundress that falls to just above her knees. "We should talk," she plainly states walking passed her and heading up the stairs to Emily's room.
"Mom, it's just Alison. She's early," Emily says trying to make herself sound annoyed. As she follows Alison up the stairs, she tries not to notice that every time Alison takes another stair, her dress slightly bounces up showing a little more of her soft, pale skin. They reach her room and Alison immediately goes to sit on the bed, patting next to her offering Emily the spot next to her.
"I'll stand, so what do you need to talk about?" Emily coolly states.
"This. Us. Why you flinch when I touch you and why you just refused to sit next to me," Alison begins, "I know I hurt you when 'A' was around, but it's over. Why can't it go back to the way it was?"
"The way it was, Ali? Which way? The times when you made me fall in love with you when I was so fragile and trying to figure out who I was and you ripped my soul apart? Or was it the time when you left and let us think that you were dead? I had to bury you. Do you know what that feels like?" Emily's voice began to shake.
"Em, I-" Alison tried to plea.
"No, Alison! I am talking now. Do you know what you did to me? What you do to me?" Emily proclaimed as tears began to form in her eyes. "You have ruined my life, but I can't get you the hell out of my thoughts. I ache when I am around you. I can't get over you." Emily stops, breathing through her chest, she wipes away the tears in her eyes. Alison stands and takes a step forward, forcing Emily to look at her, noticing that Alison has tears in her eyes as well.
"How can I fix it, Em? Tell me I will do anything." She reaches out one of her hands, her bangles clanking together. Reluctantly, Emily reaches out and firmly grasps her hand. Keeping her hold, Emily leads Alison to her window seat. She knows if they sit on her bed, she will let things happen that she is not ready for.
Emily and Alison sit together, fingers interlocked facing the room for what seems like hours. Emily leans forward and tries to release her grip from Alison, but Alison's other manicured hand firmly stops that from happening. Emily can feel that she has turned to face her. Emily knows that if she looks into Ali's eyes, she will let her kiss her. For that brief lapse in time she will feel better, as if those haunted years in her past had never happened.
Emily can't help herself and looks up at the girl she loves. Ali's stare is dark, but inviting. Before she can stop herself, she is leaning forward. She presses a faint kiss on Alison's plush red lips and pulls back to see if what she did was OK. Alison didn't move, her eyes remained closed, but her breathing became heavy.
"Kiss me, Emily," Alison whispers. Emily softly smiles as she cups her free hand to Alison's cheek. She leans forward and kisses her, starting sweet and slow, but it's not what Alison wants. She can feel how hungry Alison is for her as she grips her hands tighter around Emily's. Emily pulls away.
"I can't, Ali." Emily says standing up.
"Why? You kissed me, Emily."
"Exactly. I kiss you. That's how it always goes. I just don't know what you want with me and this isn't the way to figure it out."
"You should know what I want with you, I just wa-"
"Time for a movie! I brought vodka to make it more interesting," Hanna interjects bursting into Emily's bedroom, she shifts her weight and gives the girls an odd look, "Am I interrupting something?"
"No," Emily says, "Let's get ready for the movie."
Hope you enjoyed! I'll try to post again soon. Review and let me know what you think!