Kate's phone rings only minutes after they resume washing the dishes and she answers with a sigh, complaining that it's her night off to the person on the other line, but ends up being called away to a crime scene anyway.
"I had a really good time tonight," Kate tells him while he walks her to the door. "Maybe we could do lunch or dinner again this week rather than waiting for my next day off."
His heart leaps at the suggestion, but he schools his features, offering her a composed smile.
"Only if you have the time, Detective," he teases, listening to the rustle of her coat as she slips it from the closet near the door.
"I think I can fit you into my schedule," she returns, her voice growing closer with the quiet click of her heels. "Call you?"
He nods, stiffening at the unexpected touch of her lips to the corner of his mouth, maddeningly close to his lips.
"I don't want to disturb Alexis's studying, tell her I said bye?"
He nods, again, dumbly, and senses the smile that crawls across her lips, still so close to his own.
"Night, Castle."
"Good luck with the case," he manages to throw out when he hears the door to the loft opening, feeling the electric current of her slowly diminishing with the distance.
Her hears her murmured 'thanks' before the front door is pulled to a soft shut and he's left standing in the empty foyer, staring at the place she would have stood, but not seeing. Never seeing.
Alexis' bare footsteps come into his range of hearing, the quiet padding of her walking through his office and coming to a stop at his open bedroom doorway.
"Night, Dad."
"Alexis, wait," he calls, sitting up in the bed and patting the spot next to him. He had only just crawled into bed, not yet tired at all, and now that his daughter has a moment of free time between exam studies, he was ready to grill her. Ooh, or as Kate would probably say, interrogate. "What did you think about Kate?"
Alexis plops down beside him on the bed, her shoulder pressing to his as they both lean back against the headboard.
"I liked her, so much more than anyone else you've dated," she admits and he quirks an eyebrow.
"As in… ever?"
His daughter shrugs. "I think so. Before the accident, you never went for anyone real. Or anyone who liked you for you."
Castle's brow furrows and he turns his head towards Alexis, already feeling her hesitation bubbling just under the surface.
"What do you mean?"
Alexis shifts beside him, not uncomfortable, but apprehensive. His daughter has always been honest with him, but when it's come to women, he's noticed she's tended to keep her opinions on his dates, his temporary girlfriends, to herself. And he's finally ready to hear what his daughter really thinks.
"Like I said, before the accident, you would only date the bimbos who wanted you to sign their chests. And I always understood why, but it's just really refreshing to see you with someone who actually cares about you. Not your money or your fame."
His lips curl into a smile and he loops an arm around his daughter, cuddling her against his chest.
"You think she really likes me?" he murmurs, cradling Alexis's head in his palm like he once did when she was just a baby.
"Yeah, she spent a good portion of dinner gazing at you," Alexis reveals, a smile in her voice. "It was cute. She would realize what she was doing and get flustered while she checked to make sure I hadn't been watching."
Castle grins, trying to picture it, trying to picture Kate.
"What does she look like?"
"I thought you didn't care about looks anymore," Alexis teases and he rolls his eyes to humor her.
"You know it's killing me not to have an image of her in my head. Give me something to go off. Ooh, I know. Compare her to an actress or a public figure I'd recognize."
"No, I don't want you picturing her in the wrong way. You'll see what she looks like when you can use your eyes again."
He manages not to deflate at the words, not on the outside at least. Alexis holds out so much hope, more than enough for both of them, that he'll one day regain his sight again. His optometrist had told him about potential treatment options, therapies and 'cures' that could one day restore his loss of vision, but it's been five years. Most of his hope has been stripped away by the harsh years of reality.
"She's seriously pretty," Alexis murmurs, quieter, as if she knows where she's inadvertently sent his train of thought. "Like, model pretty."
He gasps. "No way."
His daughter chuckles, but nods against his chest.
"I knew it, but now I'm even more confused."
Alexis sits up and he can envision her scrunched brow, her tilted head, when she asks, "About what?"
"Why she's wasting her time with me."
"Dad," she scolds, immediate and sharp, but Castle waves her off. He shouldn't have shared the insecurity with her, he wasn't trying to dampen her mood, but despite the success that was their dinner with Kate, the question still lingers in the back of his mind.
He startles at the band of Alexis's arms around his neck, but hugs her back, expecting a simple goodnight.
"It's not always about looks," Alexis whispers. "Sometimes, you can just love a person for who they are."
His eyes widen out of reflex, sending a small ripple through the darkness. They've had one date, it's far too soon to be bringing 'love' into the conversation, but he still returns his daughter's embrace.
"I know, Pumpkin."
But it's a lie, for him at least. There's a reason he hasn't been on anything more than pity dates in the last five years. This thing between him and Kate is still new, still simple, but once she realizes how complicated his life really is, she'll disappear. And he won't even be able to blame her.
Kate knocks on his front door with determination, breathing in relief when she hears Benny on the other side, clawing at the metal frame. It means he's home and he can't ignore her.
The door opens and Benny surges forward to greet her, pressing his muzzle into one of her knees, nudging against her palm when she rubs that particular spot between his ears.
"Kate."
Richard Castle doesn't seem half as enthusiastic. And that hurts her.
"Did I do something wrong?" she blurts.
She'd had a speech of sorts planned, a more delicate way of finding out why he decided to disregard her existence for the last week, but all of her practiced words have abandoned her now that she stands in front of him. And she realizes she doesn't want to coax an answer from him like a suspect, she wants the brutal truth now. She thought dinner had gone well. His family had liked her, he had liked her, but his lack of communication, his avoidance of her calls and texts, this cold silence from his end of things, tells her otherwise now.
"Because if I did, at least tell me what it is."
Rick sighs, scrubbing at his jaw and stepping to the side, extending an arm to motion her inside so he can shut the door. She huffs and strides in, feeling Benny follow suit at her heels.
"You didn't do anything," Castle murmurs, casting unseeing eyes to the ground as he walks past her, into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?"
"No, I want to know why you've been ignoring me for the last week. Alexis told me you've been sulking for the past few days. She thought I'd dumped you."
He curses under his breath and drops his elbows to the surface of the island, burying his face in his hands.
"I don't even know how she got your number."
"I gave it to her after dinner. A dinner I thought you'd enjoyed," she mutters, crossing her arms and diverting her own eyes to the hardwood floor at her feet. Benny stares up at her from his spot at her side, expectant, as if he's depending on her to fix his master's misery.
"I did enjoy it. I loved having you here."
"Then why are you pushing me away?" she demands, softer, lowering her voice while she follows his footsteps into the kitchen and it strikes her that for the first time in years, she's not the one running. She's the one pursuing someone for a change.
"I don't want to make your life harder, Kate," he sighs and she growls in return, watching in satisfaction when that gets his attention.
"Murderers make my life harder, Castle. Until you decided to shut me out, you were actually making my life a little more fun."
He stands up straight, turning towards her with the surprise prominent in his features, in his eyes, but it quickly fades, shrivels into something dull and hopeless.
"Until I turn into a burden, it won't be fun then," he counters, sending confusion spiraling through her. "My mother and Alexis would never say it out loud, but I know I'm the reason my daughter is going to Columbia rather than her dream school of Stanford. I'm the reason my mother has continued to stay here even though her acting studio is all the way across town. I make the lives of people I care about difficult, Kate. I was just trying to give you an out."
He moves to step past her, but she stops him with a hand to his chest.
"I never asked for one." His frown deepens and her heart aches for him, for the burden he's turned himself into and the way he's cut off all chances of allowing another person to care for him. She knows all too well what that's like. "You think I don't know that it would be difficult at times?"
Her hands on his face surprise him, but he doesn't remove them when her palms brush over his cheeks and her fingers curl at his ears.
"That day in the coffee shop, I stayed with you and Benny because I wanted to. Not because I felt obligated," she explains, stroking the shell of his ear with her thumb, watching his eyes flutter shut beneath the soft ministrations of her touch. "I walked around the city with you, came to dinner with you and met your family, because I like you, Castle. Didn't you feel that?"
Something like grief rumbles in his chest and she steps in closer, allowing her fingers to slip away from his ears, giving her the freedom to wind her arms around his neck. Castle's arms slither around her waist in return and she bumps his nose with her own.
"Seeing isn't everything, you know," she mumbles, and he huffs a laugh.
"Alexis told me the exact same thing."
"Smart girl," she grins, leaning in to brush her smile over his cheek.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't - you deserved better than that," he murmurs, resting his cheek against hers and she hums, twining her fingers through the fine hairs at the base of his skull.
"Just don't do it again, okay?"
He nods, rubbing a comforting hand at her back.
"Deal."
Benny bumps against the backs of her knees and Castle groans.
"Do you always have to ruin the moment?" he questions in the general direction of the dog and Kate rolls her eyes, stepping out of his embrace and twining their fingers.
"C'mon, we'll take Benny for a walk and then we'll have lunch."
Castle doesn't argue, smiling back at her in response as she tugs him towards the front door, clipping Benny's leash to the bright blue harness she has a feeling Alexis picked out while Castle slips into his coat.
She hands Castle the leash and he guides them out of the loft, locking the door behind them with surprising ease. He's confident when he laces an arm around her shoulders in the elevator and it has her heart rejoicing in palpitating flutters. If this is what she can have when she goes after something she wants, she thinks she'll play the pursuer in this chase for him more often.